Misc

K-Pop Video Confirms TWiT’s Irrelevance on YouTube

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For better quality watch the video fullscreen.
This man still uncertain who Leo Laporte is or  TWiT.tv for that matter

We know most of you guys want TWiT to die, but for the record we find your schadenfroh attitudes absolutely deplorable. Here at TotalDrama we remain deeply saddened by the indications that Leo Laporte and TWiT continue to fall into absolute obscurity.

In a previous post we reported that Leo Laporte’s relevance had steadily declined across the years. And at the beginning of this year we witnessed the exodus of 40% of all sponsors. Right now TWiT is looking nearly as dead as a doornail, but the following #twitlive chat log did catch our interest:

<Truckee> Leo In a YouTube Search for TWIT in browser or AppleTV the real TWIT is 2nd or 3rd after Asian girlie sites of some sort. I haven't clicked on them!
<Tenspeed> Mr.. Wilkenson... I was wondering if you could talk about some speakers called Violet3d. Have you heard of them? Thank you for your wisdom and info.
<Titus> Salut...Bonjour à tout le monde.
<@ScooterX> PGMex: skypeout, Google Voice
<Maverik56> Best Buy is selling the LG Oled B Series at $1,109. And C8 At $1,359. And finally the E8 Series At $1,629. All 55 in Oled tv’s
<Chumly> was just looking at that E8 ad, but not sure what it really offers over the C8
<@ScooterX> Truckee: "Twit Live"
<Truckee> ScooterX just ant TWIT company to know.
<Truckee> ScooterX try it you'll see.
<ericDuckman> i'll settle for a D8
<@ScooterX> Truckee: I am aware
We apologize that we could not find a better picture of “Truckee”

We understand that the average #twitlive user is completely retarded, but if “Truckee” had bothered to click on that girlie video he would have watched something one million times better than anything on TWiT.

Hot Asian angels

It took this TotalDrama writer a month and several boxes of kleenex to determine that the video skewing YouTube’s search results was from Korean pop singer Hwasa (화사). Unlike Leo Laporte we can tell the difference between Asian people.

It appears that “twit” is also the word Koreans use to describe an absolute idiot. Go figure. We hard-coded the YouTube captions into the video for you sons-of-bitches. Enjoy.

If you see anything newsworthy please (1) visit our chat room, or (2) leave an anonymous comment below, or (3) submit a tip by clicking on “Feedback & Tips” to the right.

Misc

Leo Laporte Shits on a Sponsor… Again

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The TWiT-Sponsor relationship illustrated

It’s no secret that Leo Laporte has a love-love relationship with his sponsors. He wouldn’t be able to take all the vacations he does if they didn’t buy ads. More importantly he wouldn’t be able to endlessly brag about all the vacations he took if they didn’t buy ads. So why does it seem that Leo Laporte is always trying to sabotage this one-sided teet suck-fest?

Hilton Goring wants us to stop following him around

Leo Laporte has a marked history of constantly shitting on sponsors. Over the years we have compiled a list of victims, including but not limited to: ZipRecruiter, Rocket Mortgage, and Ring. It appears that the latter two learned their lesson and severed ties. Still others eventually realized their return on investment wasn’t coming and cut their losses. And as we noted at the beginning of this year, roughly 40% have already jumped ship.

Iain Thomson, Journalist @TheRegister and Guardian of the Turds

It was just a matter of time before Sophos became the target of Leo Laporte’s ire. We think this is related to TWiT losing long-time sponsor ESET NOD32 back in 2013. Since then Leo Laporte has consistently shitted on home antivirus software on his radio show. Watch the video above to see the two-faced Leo Laporte both praise and shit on Sophos in the same week without even realizing it.

We are working on getting more posts up more quickly. Thank you for your patience. If you see anything newsworthy please (1) visit our chat room, or (2) leave an anonymous comment below, or (3) submit a tip by clicking on “Feedback & Tips” to the right.

Misc

John Slanina leaks TWiT’s new secret show “Hands on Tech”

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John Slanina, TWiT "Engineer"
John Slanina, TWiT “Engineer”

Proving there are no limits to his incompetence, John Slanina (aka JammerB, aka Table Rotation Artist, Studio ‘A’) demonstrated again on Saturday why TWiT still has the worst engineering team in the business.

If you have been following CEO Lisa Laporte’s Inside TWiT posts you would have read that TWiT plans to release a new show in early 2019 to pacify the dozens of fans who were upset with the cancellation of Know How, The New Screensavers, and This Week in Law.

While Lisa Laporte has stated that this show will incorporate reused content(™) from previous shows, more specific details about the new show has otherwise been sparse. Although one of our tipsters did find a few more ramblings on Google+…

Video of the big reveal is above. At this time we believe JammerB purposely leaked the contents of his GMail Inbox simply to get TotalDrama to ramp up excitement for this upcoming show. You may be an incompetent engineer but you’re a fucking PR genius.

Thank you to the anonymous chatroom member who tipped us off to this story. If you see anything else newsworthy please (1) visit our chat room, or (2) leave an anonymous comment below, or (3) submit a tip by clicking on “Feedback & Tips” to the right.

Click on picture to see JammerB’s leaked GMail Inbox.
Misc

TWiT’s Sponsor List Absolutely Gutted for 2019

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Problems are ramping up for everyone’s favorite tech network. We recently covered the story of three more TWiT shows being cancelled, and now it appears that TWiT has lost nearly 40% of its sponsors going into 2019.



Disgraced actor Kevin Spacey chimes in

A comparison of the Google cache from December 2018 to the current list for January 2019 shows that even more sponsors have decided to bail on the “netcast network“. We have been tracking sponsor exits for some time using the informative website boycott-twit.com, but this month the net losses are extremely troubling. Even Kevin Spacey (Leo Laporte’s good friend) was overheard saying (in Frank’s voice) “I thought I was fucked, but TWiT is royally fucked!“. Spacey then lifted a chalice and symbolically toasted Leo Laporte.

Henry Laporte settles into his new career

We at TotalDrama had high hopes that Hank Laporte’s nepotistic placement into the sales team would put TWiT on a better path, but not even the profound philosopher himself is going to be enough to save TWiT. The best he can do to secure his financial future is to begin taking hardware home at night and hope nobody notices.

So for now the 24/7 tech network pipe dream will continue. The past failures of ZDTV, TechTV and G4 will not deter Leo and Lisa Laporte. They are positive they can succeed where three other corporations have failed… three corporations that had access to unlimited capital at the time. We at TotalDrama don’t take pleasure in TWiT’s imminent demise. Most news agencies that only cover one company would have packed up half their shit by now, but we remain committed to seeing this out until the last employee is fired and the locks on the front door are changed.

Special thanks to the anonymous tipster who provided the photo of Leo Laporte riding his overpriced and obsolete Segway PT. If you see anything newsworthy please (1) visit our chat room, or (2) leave an anonymous comment below, or (3) submit a tip by clicking on “Feedback & Tips” to the right. Thank you for continuing to support independent journalism.

Misc

More TWiT Shows Put Out Of Their Misery (Merry Christmas edition)

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TotalDrama has received hundreds (if not thousands) of tips the past few days alerting us to the announcement that three more TWiT shows have been euthanized on the network (thank you tipsters)

Latest TWiT “underperforming shows”

We would like to send out our heartfelt condolences to Know How, This Week in Law, and The New Screen Savers for not being good enough for even TWiT’s most courageous sponsors. The cancellation of TNSS hits this writer particularly hard because it was segments like the UGM PC build that turned me into a savage die-hard TNSS fan.

You may recall we previously covered show cancellations in past articles Hurricane Lisa will not stop until TWiT is destroyed and the Francis Ford Crappola’s cinematic masterpiece In Memoriam 2: Remembering those we’ve lost at TWiT.. This time around CEO Lisa Laporte insists the cancelled shows are simply “on hiatus”. But we’ve seen those words used before with Marketing Mavericks. In a follow-up post Lisa Laporte advised us of new start times for the remaining Thursday and Friday shows. At this time TWiT is not merging all the remaining shows to Thursday and giving the slaves a second day off.

Suspicious TotalDrama employee “Steve”

It’s possible that these late-2018 cancellations are simply a stopgap measure to ensure there is adequate money for the 2019 Vacation Fund™. But several writers on the TotalDrama editorial team were not satisfied with this simplistic conclusion, insisting Occam’s razor did not apply in this case.

So staff took it upon themselves to spend days analyzing every show video looking for possible explanations. After crunching the numbers they came up with the following hypothesis:

And while we were finally able to reach Hilton Goring for comment after all these years, our fucking journalistic standards do not allow us to print what he said. But Hilton wanted to thank TotalDrama for giving his name enough Google juice to offset the institutional racism that exists in the video production every industry. You’re welcome! Say hi to Bigg Pwee for us.

From everyone at TotalDrama… Merry Christmas and Happy New Year… and stories will be coming more frequently in 2019.

Thanks go out to Johnny_Drama and the anonymous tipsters who provide a lot of the story leads for this website. If you see anything newsworthy please (1) visit our chat room, or (2) leave an anonymous comment below, or (3) submit a tip by clicking on “Feedback & Tips” to the right.

Misc

Megan Morrone Consents

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Update: It has come to our attention that Megan is a mom. Thank you to Jimmy Jam for the tip.

Megan Morrone is living two lives. In her private life she is an adamant supporter of women’s rights and would not put up with sexual harassment of any kind.

In fact I’m pretty sure she has participated in women’s marches holding up some poorly-spelled signs. And we know exactly what she thinks about the 45th President of the United States Donald Trump — he’s a piece of shit.

Most women in this world would adhere to one set of moral principles, but not Megan Morrone.

https://twitter.com/YourJoleen/status/971239487488647172

Megan Morrone is a walking enigma. When she arrives at work she leaves all her principles at the door. Over the years she has allowed Leo Laporte to sexually harass her on numerous occasions. Never once has she ever uttered the words “What you said is not appropriate” even though that would be a perfectly justifiable thing to say in these circumstances. When she does protest it’s always couched as a joke or expressed as a minor annoyance.

Megan Morrone continues to walk the hypocritical line between victim and enabler. She wants Leo Laporte to stop making lewd comments but then we see a sensationalist tweet from her about an IoT device humping another. She doesn’t understand that making sexual jokes like this will only further embolden Leo Laporte. Megan Morrone is a disgrace to all women and possibly retarded. How could a woman this paradoxical be responsible for shaping the minds of three children?!

Karin P. Beam, two-bit incompetent strip mall lawyer.

We at TotalDrama have spent several years meticulously documenting everything Megan Morrone,  Colleen Goldstein or any other woman working at TWiT would need to launch and successfully prevail in a sexual harassment lawsuit. Not even a two-bit incompetent strip mall lawyer would lose that case.

Megan has two options, quit and sue for sexual harassment, or continue putting up with Leo Laporte’s lascivious behavior. Either way Megan Morrone is getting fucked.

Special thanks to the chatroom member who provided the 3D VFX clip which was the inspiration for the movie trailer. TotalDrama apologizes for the length of time between posts. If you have any ideas for an article we encourage you to leave an anonymous comment below or submit a tip.

Misc

Leo Laporte: Racist for Life

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Leo Laporte’s “Gradient” of Blackness (IEEE 205-2001)

In what can only be considered an early Christmas present, Leo Laporte had the opportunity to double down on racism this week when both Owen JJ Stone (Patreon link) and Ant Pruitt (Patreon link) appeared on the number one racist show on the TWiT network, This Week In Tech.

Hilton Goring could not be reached for comment

Leo Laporte has made an illustrious career of spewing casual racist remarks. If there was a Pulitzer prize for racism, Leo Laporte would have won 10 of them by now. Some of Leo’s highlights include:

Self-explanatory

Well as luck would have it, there were 2 “nigras” on Skype this week so Leo Laporte simply couldn’t resist this amazing opportunity to say more racist shit and try to pass it off as a joke. Leo Laporte’s #1 bootlicker Mike_B must have taken the night off as there seemed to be nobody trying to stop him this time. Video is above, you ungrateful bastards.

Misc

I Say Spit… You Say Semen

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Leo Laporte apologizes again

Megan Morrone continues to be on the receiving end of Leo Laporte’s sick perverted mind. From the time he offered to smear shit on her face  — to the time he suggested her underage daughter should practice milking cows because it will be a “very useful skill” going forward. There was also the time he ridiculed her in front of others by commanding her to speak.

Lisa Laporte’s blind eye

We’re completely dumbfounded how this continues to happen at a company which is run by a woman who regularly champions her female employees — but then turns a blind eye to this sort of disgusting behavior.

Original working title of Russ Pitt’s e-book

The latest incident happened on last Saturday’s The New Screensavers. TechTV employee #1 (and major creeper) Russ Pitts skyped in to plug his new e-book Eagle Semen. The title must have sent Leo Laporte’s mind into a perverted spit-swallow frenzy because he proceeded to dish out more improper sexual innuendo at Megan Morrone.

Artist rendering of #twitlive coward Mike_B

Even Leo Laporte’s chief sycophant and Tech Guy chatroom braintrust Mike_B was quick to speak out saying “Leo: People record these and put them on bad web sites”.  Amazing… Mike_B chose not to admonish the behavior but instead to warn him. This guy deserves cancer.

Part of me wants to remain sympathetic to Megan Morrone. But why this woman has not consulted with an employment lawyer or simply found another job is baffling. There is literally an employment lawyer within a 3-minute walk from the shoebox studios. I hate to be the one that says this but maybe the mortgage has nothing to do with this… Megan Morrone secretly wants this to continue.

Misc

Leo Laporte Says TWiT is Going Down the Tubes

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Rare picture depicting Lisa Laporte harvesting money in the wild.

Because he is a pathological liar, it’s hard to trust anything that comes out of Leo Laporte’s mouth.

However, we do have the evidence of rapidly decreasing viewership (see stream viewer count), the comment bots on the videos (check YouTube), and ever-decreasing number of ads per show.

I think it’s safe to say that there’s at least a kernel of truth in his statements in the video above.

Megan’s brow-merged-with-bangs stressed face at the thought of being made redundant is evident. You can hear her absolute reliance on her employment by Laporte when she says her children will be put through college with TWiT paychecks.

Good luck, Megan!

This story happened thank to a tip. Please submit yours. I don’t want to watch TWiT, but you can help by sending us a DVR time (date/time and timestamp in the file).

Misc

BREAKING: TWiT has lost its case against Twitter

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https://youtu.be/aT0KOgL6haI

Re-enactment of press corps reaction

We are receiving reports from the United States District Court that TWiT was unsuccessful at extorting millions of dollars from Twitter in the trademark infringement case of the century — previously covered (1) here, (2) here and (3) here.

We could not reach Leo Laporte (or Hilton Goring) for comment, but we were able to secure the following video from a random German media outlet (above).

Actual Courtroom Audio

Audio of Judge lambasting and laughing at TWiT’s lawyer

UPDATE: TotalDrama has received the official ruling below:

TWiT, LLC vs. Twitter Inc. – Case Dismissal

If you have any ideas for an article (like who Leo is frivilously suing next) we encourage you to visit our chatroom, leave an anonymous comment below or submit a tip.  A big thank you to our intrepid court reporter who was forced to listen to endless hours of TWiT pleading its case in court without being able to openly laugh his ass off.

Exposing The Dark Underbelly of TWiT, Leo Laporte, and Failed CEO Lisa Laporte