Leo Laporte Says Paul Thurrott’s Hair Looks Like a Bad Wig

“Hey Paul. Your hair looks like shit. Now let’s do a 2 hour show on video.”

— Leo Laporte, Windows Weekly, January 27, 2016

The editors at Total Drama are 100% against attacking people solely based on their personal appearance. We were surprised and horrified when Leo Laporte crossed that ethical line. You should criticize ideas, Leo, not looks. People can’t change their looks, even if they have caterpillars crawling across their face.

Shame on you, Uncle Leo.

Tommy Chong Watches TWiT’s Live Stream and Thinks Leo is Cool — According to Leo

Leo Laporte is so vain that he thought a tweet by Tommy Chong — of Cheech and Chong fame — was talking about him. In reality, “Leo” is a character played by Chong.

The video above would be embarrassing for Leo, if he was capable of feeling that emotion.

TWiT’s $350,000 Website Has Been Down for Hours

Update 2: Our long national nightmare is over. See below for Redis Labs’ response to Leo and his TWiT Army Troll DanLoFat.
Update 1: The reason the site is down is that Leo actually didn’t pay his bill for his website. See the additional chat log below. Leo is now trashing his provider’s customer service after he didn’t pay his bill.

What users see during the outage. No Leo salad here.
What users see during the outage. No Leo salad here.
TWiT’s $350,000 they gave to Four Toilets seems to have been well spent.

The turd of a website has been down since the early morning. Is Leo taking this seriously? Hell no.

<~Leo> working on it
<~Leo> I think redislabs went offline for us - probably didn't pay the bill
<Leo> that's a joke by the way
<Web4635> "Leo acknowledges unpaid bill cause of twit downtime."
*** Tater kicked Web4635 (Tater)

What will <@ScooterX> do without being able to refer people to twit.tv/cal? He may go clinically insane.

How will morons watch TWiT’s live stream if they don’t know the URL? Don’t worry. We got you covered there.

The web "team"
The web “team”
What team, Lisa? That tubby ogre that walks around with his hands on his hips before he pulls his curtain to hide himself in his closet of an “office” (Patrick)?

Further Leo Chat Log

<~Leo> no it wasn't hacked
<~Leo> redislabs closed our account for non-payment
<~Leo> we owe them $144
<~Leo> and I can't get in to fix it
<~Leo> waiting for them to call back
<~Leo> it's totally my fault
<~Leo> I didn't see the messages that the credit card had expired
<~Leo> so stupid of me
<~Leo> it's about as stupid
<~Leo> unfortunately they deleted my account!
<~Leo> so I can't get support or anything
<~Leo> it should have been on my credit card - but we'll fix that of course
<Redlynx> That happened to me with my work's Adobe CC account... they forgot to renew it.
<~Leo> ironic isn't it
<~Leo> the big stuff we handle
<~Leo> it's the little stuff that slips through the cracks
<~Leo> they have been sending me emails but they're buried within hundreds of other service emails from them
<~Leo> no excuse
<KBJockey> probably some script automatically deleted the account.
<RevDanOnimity> stoicsquirrel: jeez, happened to me last year, i pay my AWS with a paypal account (automatically, ironically), changed some payment methods, didn't pay attention, then couldn't figure out why half my website didnt work the way we planned.
<PutinOnTheRitz> I'd be looking for a diff co.
<~Leo> it's totatally on me
<~Leo> no my redislabs folder

Leo is too good for normal customer service channels, so he used what he described as “the nuclear option” on the MacBreak Weekly pre-show: he tweeted his dissatisfaction at the company. Apparently, companies should provide services in perpetuity for free — CacheFly/BitGravity/Ustream — for Uncle Leo.

Redis is on it.

Leo’s fans are bothering Redis Labs on his behalf as well, such as the infamous DanLoFat aka RevDanOnimity aka Danonymous (old guy who complains constantly and is then muted by <@ScooterX> in #twitlive).

The Resolution

Tom Merritt Explains What’s Wrong with TWiT

Undercover TD reporter Tom Merritt
Undercover TD reporter Tom Merritt
In the video above, Tom Merritt describes the core of what’s wrong with TWiT. He makes the salient point that advertising has eclipsed content on TWiT — in terms of importance — years ago.

What made TWiT great was:

  1. Enthusiasm for the subject material (tech).
  2. Lack of coverage in other outlets since the demise of Tech TV.
  3. Leo Laporte’s seemingly endearing character.
  4. Advertising that was minimally invasive and relevant to the audience.

What do we have now?

  1. Native advertising. Example: The Personal Capital CEO was Leo’s guest on Triangulation and Leo shut off the chat room monitor due to his own #twitlive sheep revolting against the huge native ad.
  2. Many other, better tech reporting outlets.
  3. Completely irrelevant advertisers: Pillpack (might be relevant to the average The Tech Guy caller), Naturebox, Trunk Club, Casper mattresses, Blue Apron, Boll & Branch bed sheets, etc.
  4. Leo’s complete indifference to his audience. They are only the source of his Podtrac clicks that get him his next Tesla lease.
  5. Leo doesn’t care about new technology now and only feigns an interest while he watches football games just off-screen during TWiT and The Tech Guy. He hasn’t learned anything new since 1994 and the audience can tell.

While we can’t be 100% sure Tom is discussing TWiT in the video about “places that [he’s] worked,” it is definitely an accurate description of the sad downfall we’ve all witnessed.

RIP TWiT we all knew and loved in the cottage days.

“In content companies is where I’ve seen it, where, you have great content ideas, but the only ones that get traction are the ones that the people who are selling the product think are good, because they can sell them, and your content suffers as a result. It’s not very cohesive.”

— Tom Merritt

This Tom clip came to us as a tip from a reader. The tipper remains anonymous, but he or she is very appreciated.

Man of God: Father Robert Ballecer Tells Another Lie on Twitter

Father Robert Ballecer
Fr. Robert Ballecer
Of all the things that never happened, this never happened the most.

Just like his prior flights of fancy, master troll Father Robert Ballecer — disgusting priest with a persecution complex — told another fib on Twitter.

We’re totally confident he took pictures, video, and can tell us who the company was. Right? Right?

Leo Laporte Confirms Plans for TWiT Shed in 2016

Titan of Industry
Titans of Industry
Leo Laporte, the man you may remember actually liking way back in the Tech TV days, confirmed what we reported in October. In the video above, he details TWiT’s plan to move into a run-down office park far away from downtown Petaluma. The trick will be seamlessly moving without interrupting the ad conveyances known as TWiT shows.

He explains the plans — which would have actually cost money — to redesign the studio with Hollywood set designers have been scuttled entirely. They are just going to move all the existing, dated decor to the strip mall location.

Will this massive downgrade in status result in some humility from Leo or Lisa? Probably not, but it will provide some humor as the remaining staff have a huge downgrade in available space and have already been heard fighting over office space. FMCP and Bryan want to have an office and not be stuck in an uninhabitable space like their current “Know Hole” in the basement.

The new location is next door to The Hummus Guy — we are not making this up. Theeeeeeeeeeee Tech Guy will be next door to Theeeeeeeeee Hummus Guy in a strip mall. Additionally, they’re 6 minutes walking3 minutes on a Segway? — distance from a highly rated tug job joint, so you know the area is high class.

See our previous coverage with pictures and maps.

Could TWiT soon broadcast from a run-down abandoned church in the woods?
Could TWiT soon broadcast from a run-down abandoned church in the woods?
Master CEO Lisa Kentzell Laporte — who has honed her business skills non-stop after acquiring her University of Phoenix business degree — has been unable to close the deal since at least October.

TWiT still has no signed lease on the strip mall location and they will have to go month-to-month — at great expense, probably, and only if accepted by the landlord — on the Brickhouse until they are able to successfully complete the move.

With knowledge of Lisa’s business acumen and Leo’s laziness, the deal could easily fall apart completely before then. To borrow a phrase from FMCP: Stay tabbed!

Live from the TWiT beige metal building far, far away from beautiful downtown Petaluma, it’s The New Screen Savers!

TWiT’s Obese Priest Wants to Convene a Panel on Trolls

Father Robert Ballecer
Fr. Robert Ballecer
Father Robert Ballecer — master troll of the Catholic faith — wants to convene a panel on trolls for his now-defunct Padre’s Corner.

Over on Twitter, the glutton (get it?) for punishment solicited suggestions, and several people brought up Total Drama. We find that odd, since we just cover the downfall and underbelly of TWiT’s operation and Leo Laporte in particular.

If you have better suggestions, let @PadreSJ know.

All Co-Hosts Erased from The New Screen Savers Intro

Update: TWiT paid for a billboard in Times Square to announce the news.

After the untimely demise of the world’s best tech journalist, Mike Elgan, we wondered what would happen to the intro for The New Screen Savers.

Leo and Lisa star in the sequel.
Leo and Lisa star in the sequel.
It appears the answer is that the demon succubus had an editor erase all of the hosts from the intro, just like all the faces have been removed from the TWiT show thumbnails where hosts have changed. Lisa and Leo can’t afford to pay to update artwork when there are $22k+ cruises to take.

This isn’t the first time they’ve played The Eraser.

The last episode with the old hosts in the intro was December 5, 2015. Mike Elgan’s employment was terminated after his last Tech News Today on December 7, 2015. The very next episode of The New Screen Savers, airing on December 12, 2015, featured the very clumsily edited — probably by poor Anthony — new intro featuring only Uncle Leo.

Leo Laporte Late for Work Again

Editor’s Note: This article is not a repeat. He is just late for his job all the time.

I need more soup for my jowls, please.
I need more soup for my jowls, please.
Leo Laporte only has one job for which he he has to be on-time. Sure, he’d be on time for all his podcasts if he respected his viewers, guests, and employees, but we know he doesn’t give a shit about any of them.

You’d think he’d respect his golden goose and show up for The Tech Guy on-time twice a week. But, you would be wrong.

THEEEEEEEEEEEE Soup Guy loves tormenting his slaves/employees every weekend, as they nervously look outside to look for any sign of the waddling fat man heading for the emergency exit door.

Did he stop at the Petaluma Market to get some soup? Probably not. He makes jammerb fetch his food for him. Was Lisa keeping him home by being in bed naked? We don’t know.

Lisa Laporte Cares About “Pissing off the trolls”

Small-minded Lisa Laporte is obsessed with trolls.
Small-minded Lisa Laporte is obsessed with trolls.
Poor Lisa Kentzell Laporte thinks she’s able to piss us off. We’re not mad. We’re disappointed that Leo Laporte let her ride the TWiT gravy train right into the ground.

Does anyone remember the overflow #twitlive chat room? When was the last time that was used? Years ago. Remember when shows would have live audiences? We do too. Remember when people would call Theeeeeeeeee Tech guy? We do too.

It’s truly sad. We’re not mad, Lisa. We’re sad that Leo let you ruin TWiT. You are an evil succubus from which Leo can never recover. Enjoy your sex swing, you nasty bitch.

Full screenshot.
Full screenshot.