Mike Elgum channels the spirit of a cartoon dog

Is this Gumbot, or Poochie the dog?
Is this Gumbot, or Poochie the dog?

Mike Elgum (for SEO reasons: Mike Elgan) sank to a new low during the live broadcast of TWiT’s “24 Hours of 2015” when he imitated a famous cartoon dog. Dressed in a completely unbelievable version of a 1980s “cool dude,” the Most Boring Man on the Planet only succeeded in looking like a second-rate rehash of Poochie the dog from “The Simpsons.”

Take a gander at these two images and see if you can tell which is which.

Is  this Poochie the dog, or Gumbot?
Is this Poochie the dog, or Gumbot?

Top Five Predictions for 2015

He will be missed.
He will be missed.

After a marathon meeting of the #TotalDrama editorial board, we were finally able to narrow down our Top Five Predictions for 2015:

  1. Leo will be found face-down in the Japanese soaking tub by a stone-faced Lisa.*
  2. Sarah Lane will finally quit and start her own Patreon.
  3. Chad will continue to appear at the Twit Shithouse—even though he got fired.
  4. Padre will be discovered in a locked van down by the Petaluma Harbor with powdered sugar on his fingers and male porn mags inside of a dirty backpack.
  5. The #twitlive chat mods will continue being incredible dicks.

*It’s always the “wife.”

Gold-digging whore keeps reaching for the stars

She's like a money-grubbing monkey with those long arms.
She’s like a money-grubbing monkey with those long arms.

Lisa Kentzell, never one to disappoint the members of her Gold-diggers of the World Association, was spotted recently literally reaching for the cash. It’s like a spy camera was installed at the bottom of the cookie jar and she was caught red-handed. Congratulations, Lisa! You make money-grubbing whores all over the globe proud.

Chat Mods Lose Control

All the excitement, from seeing Leo straight for 24 hours, has caused the #TWITLIVE chat mods to once again display abhorrent behavior. Perhaps it was a result of all the blood rushing to their lower (male organ)extremities which caused a lack of oxygen to the brain. The practice of doxxing [that gets people banned from most chat rooms and shunned from internet communities] is exercised with impunity by the twit head chat freak on the innocent patrons of chat.

Actual Name Blocked Out By #TotalDrama
Actual Name Blocked Out By #TotalDrama

Your jaw will drop as you see the freaky Dan give out personal details of another innocent former twit fan. Take note how the fellow mods and neutered members of chat sit idly by as he gives out a users FULL NAME and breaks every social norm that governs the internet we love. We thank the freak for sending more people to our IRC but the strain on the server is costing us a fortune.

Splitscreens need not apply

We can't see the action with this useless spli screen.
We can’t see the action with this useless splitscreen.

The Pickle Corpse knows nothing of television production obviously when they showed “Game of Drones” on TWiT’s “24 Hours of 2015.” We could hardly see the action. Hey, how about this idea Pickle Peeps: Why not show the action…and not your dumb graphics. We don’t care about what “fancy” shit you can throw on the screen. It’s form over content and that just doesn’t fly.

Leo Laporte World’s #1 Boss

We all like a little recognition from our boss once in awhile. It feels good to get a pat on the back. Well at TWiT you’re lucky if your boss knows your name.

Randal has been doing shows on TWiT for about six years and Leo can’t be bothered to remember his name. Carly, on the other hand, Leo can recognize from behind at a distance of 67 meters yet he has no clue what her name is.

Hey Leo, here’s a resolution, learn your employees names!