Leo Comments on Sarah Lane quitting/terminated from Ipad Today

And if you keep this site up with boring, generic tech news, ‘Total Drama’ will no longer refer to Twit. Instead, it will refer to you going back and forth and being a Total Drama Queen.” Holden


The lovely and talented Sarah Lane
The lovely and talented Sarah Lane

There was much ado about the departure of the lovely and talented Sarah Lane from Ipad Today. Founder Leo Laporte thrust himself into chat to rectify what he felt was unfair treatment, we will not deny him his say:

<~Leo> we absolutely did NOT let [Sarah] go  <~Leo> she quit <~Leo> Anytime anyone leaves twit I seem to get blamed

She quit the full time gig but they were talking about the recent firing from doing Ipad Today, and you knew that, but you bent the truth Laporte, again. This is what infuriates people. Why can’t you say that you let her go from IPT, why can’t you be honest?

<~Leo> Techcrunch hired Sarah to compete with TWiT <~Leo> she's already launched a show directly opposite her old show, TN2

And you moved Padre’s Corner directly opposite Night Attack. (backfired as your show cant get sponsored) Don’t you believe in competition? Didn’t you create TNT to compete with BOL?

<~Leo> I don't see how any of this is my fault
<~Leo> all you have to [d]o is take a look at how many times we have had to fill in for her in the last month

Wait, so you did fire her from IPT because she had to miss and reschedule recordings? I thought you just said she quit? Let’s keep the lies consistent please.

<~Leo> Sarah is not an original
<~Leo> she was at twit for about 5 years
<~Leo> Megan started long before Sarah actually
<~Leo> Megan hosted Jumping Monkeys: [link removed]
<~Leo> that was in 2007-2008
<~Leo> Sarah started in 2009 with This Week in Fun [link removed]
<~Leo> and became an employee in 2010

This angers fans. People would like Megan if you didn’t do this. You pit the hosts against each other. And Sarah was on TWIT about 5200 times as many hours as Megan. Knock it off. You did the same thing with Gum, holding him up to be a godsend above Tom. Stop it. As a matter of fact you should have had Megan on with Sarah as friends, Sarah and Megan like each other. That is how you do a transition.

I would like to live in an alternate reality where Leo did a long emotional thank you to people when they leave. One where he is grateful to people for helping him build his business.  That would be cool. I would like that. Thanks Tom for making the highest revenue show on the network, thank you Sarah for two profitable shows and all you did, thanks Iyaz for Know-How. The only person he ever thanked was Colleen.

The original full paste bin which was supplied by a anon source. Unverified
Tell me, am I lying?

Robert Downey Jr

Ask Jeeves not Jarvis
Ask Jeeves not Jarvis

There are many people who are oh so very happy that a real actor like Robert was brought in to play Ironman. However, much like Johny Bravo, it was just the suit. In truth, Robert is a very below average actor. If you look at his resume you will see that he plays the same character in every film, the ‘arrogant highly intelligent man.’ It gets worse. The way he plays intelligence is by talking fast, he thinks that is what intelligent people do. He must be a moron, *baseball player dumb. He does have comedic timing but that is his only redeeming trait and it can’t camouflage his awful acting.

His filmography peak was Chaplin, his award worthy role. Wrong. Every 15 years a movie comes along that no one will watch yet everyone says is amazing and it wins the academy award. The latest installment of this pattern was Lincoln. No one even saw that entire movie unless they were conned into seeing it in the theater, it sucked. Admit it.

1233546-khaleesiThe other masquerade is Emilia Clarke. Her career is young so I am judging her on her role as Danery’s Targaryen the Stormborn, Mother of Dragons, Breaker of Chains and Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea. She can not act, she can’t even move. I will not pass final judgement on her because whoever gave her the 12 pound wig to wear is at least equally culpable. It’s possible the reason the character is so stoic is because she can barely move while simultaneously balancing that thing on her head. Below I have put forth some other styles she might try in season 6, as worn by the lovely and talented Sarah Lane:

Bangs, Shoulder Length or a lighter cut.
Bangs, Shoulder Length or a lengthy lighter cut.

 *Many people think football players are the dumbest athletes but it is baseball players.

Musk Does Nothing Again

The tech world is a flutter. Elon Musk tweeted something, sorta.

Major new Tesla product line -- not a car -- will be unveiled at our Hawthorne Design Studio on Thurs 8pm, April 30 - @elonmusk
Reinventing the Wheel
Reinventing the Wheel

The tech press surmised that a home battery is in our future.  (Note: Musk announced a forthcoming home battery this past January) What will you do with this miracle battery? You can charge it using your home electricity, then plug anything into it that has a long cord and then charge it again when it runs out of power. No word yet on pricing or government tax credits for buying this useless piece of junk.

#TotalDrama is selling a solar powered shovel you can use to dig a hole, then take the dirt (recent content of hole) and fill up the hole, after filling the whole hole, you can re-dig the hole which will be easier because of loose dirt.

I Changed My Mind Again

I have flown too high on borrowed wings. No more TWiT bashing and many of the videos on YouTube are now private. I am a really good person, like really really good. This is final.

Learning is Fundamental
Learning is Fundamental

You fucking people, you have no idea how to run a blog. You just weakened the internet today That’s all you did. Sweet dreams sonnies.

Hell if I am not gonna admit it. I like Christina Warren, always have and always will and we are getting the same Apple Watch style.

Sarah Lane Leaves Twit & Relaunch of Screen Savers

Sources tell #totaldrama that on Sunday March 29th April 19th, TWiT will be (surprise) announcing the relaunch of The Screen Savers in an effort to reinvigorate the fading fan base. [update: I thought that anniversary thing was the 29th]

On an even sadder note, as predicted, the lovely and talented Sarah Lane has been cast off from TWiT for good. In a surprise move, the film pioneer who was thought gone, has returned with a small video in tribute to the lovely and talented Sarah Lane, presented below:

Service Announcement: The long awaited Buzz Out Loud reunion show is scheduled for March 29th 3PM Eastern and 12PM Pacific at diamondclub.tv

The correct opinion about Ellen Pao Verdict

Kleiner Perkins beat the pants off Ellen Pao and her gender discrimination suit. This has become quite the lightning rod for women’s issues much like the Ferguson case was with race issues.

Photo courtesy of Recode
Photo courtesy of Recode (stolen from recode actually)

Whatever your opinion is, make sure of one thing: Do not read the court transcript or look at any evidence. Just form an opinion based on articles or if you’re short on time, just peruse the headlines. And yell passionately at people who disagree with you.

If there is a local rally, make a sign and head on over. Rallys are tons of fun.
Pro-tip:Make out your sign when you get there in case there is an opposing rally and the other side looks like more fun.

Facebook Launching Competing Service to Periscope

TotalDrama’s new News Department has learned that Facebook is launching a competing service to Periscope and Meerkat.  “We feel Facebook is the natural and seamless place for people to start broadcasting.”

Today I went to the dentist
Today I went to the dentist

No word yet on how soon until the long awaited beta is released. We were unable to discover if this will be a standalone app or integrated into the Facebook platform itself.

Can’t wait!

FBI too lazy to hunt terrorists.

No Caption
No Caption

The FBI is apparently going after people who say mean things on Twitter. I can’t quote the mean things because @rogermambs is suspended.

What else….

Say What
Say What

(Thanks commenter for the heads up) Folks, do as Scooter says and check out twit.tv/cal and let us know if you see any pre-recordings for IPT scheduled on any Saturdays after this week.

Apple Watches Are Not Douchbagery

I am currently working on an expose’ on Elon musk. I had down time so I did an official Apple Watch guide to set the record straight. Google fans, look away. Also, Helloworld pointed out immediately when this watch was introduced that the crown/dial should have been centered. He is right, it is oft putting.

Sporty Spice

Don't look like a hog, go for a jog
Don’t look like a hog,  go for a jog

The sport model is cute, if you’re in high school or an actual full-time professional athlete. For everyone else, get the sport band as an accessory (to switch on when you work out,) you’re not a child and you may wear grown-up clothing like a button down shirt one day. This is not android wear, you must start with the mid level watch. The good news is; that means  you only have to choose a band.

On to the band played on.

Cracker Jack prize?
Cracker Jack prize?

This first style is comical, it looks like a watch you get from one of those $0.25 gum ball machines with prizes. And like those rigged machines, you always regret it after you spend mommy’s money. If you find yourself attracted to this style, just get a Casio.

2Watches8x1024This thing on the left could be the ugliest thing Apple ever designed. You know Jonny Ive’s assistant did that disaster. It looks like a watch you find between couch cushions. The one on the right will smell. Both clasps are totally unsecured so watch where you walk.

This one here ain’t bad. Plain and clean. (Classic Buckle)

Closer but not perfect

Finally, (below) we see a watch that is elegant. The perfect accent to a perfect suit. The accessory to turn khakis and a Hilfiger shirt into a complete outfit. Put on a pair jeans and a t-shirt but make sure the world knows you’ve got it where it counts. If you can pull it off, go for the pink. Me, I’m getting blue. (Modern Buckle)

Classy like TD.O
Classy like TD.O

Lastly, if you can afford an Edition, get it. And if you want to know which one to get, here it is. The red Ferrari of Apple watches. Don’t worry if DBag Kevin Rose thinks you’re a douchebag.

Ooooooh yea
Tap that Gûm  (photo by gizmodo.com)