Leo Laporte is a Braggadocious Asshole

William Shakespeare said it best when he quipped “Who knows himself a braggart, let him fear this, for it will come to pass that every braggart shall be found an ass.”

Leo Laporte shown here at his emotional age

We don’t believe Leo Laporte ever got the memo because his fat mouth spews more braggadocios garbage than any reasonable person can handle.

If you’ve watched any Leo Laporte show in 2017 chances are you’ve heard him bragging endlessly about some stupid cell phone, computer or vacation he took or is about to take.

All we know for sure is that Leo Laporte uses these vacations and materialistic possessions to define his success. Maintaining the illusion of success is paramount even if that means firing employees to free up money.

But clearly TWiT isn’t a success in any sense of the word. It’s been a complete personal failure, financial failure, cultural tolerance failure, and the company doesn’t have the ability to hire and retain talent ( . )( . )

You don’t have to look far and wide to uncover the undeniable proof that Leo Laporte and TWiT have become a complete laughing stock and they are living on borrowed time. We look forward to watching this oversized asshole completely disappear like an loose turd circling the toilet bowl. Bon Voyage asshole.

Night Attack Looks Back on Time at TWiT

Make the video full screen and read the chat too.

On Night Attack, a viewer asked:

Have you guys forgiven twit for what happened? Is there still any residual issues hanging from it all?

One might expect Brian Brushwood and Justin Robert Young to be bitter. After all, Leo Laporte told Brian “you’re dead to me.” He had Lisa Laporte’s minions erase the entire existence of Brian and Justin’s shows.

Leo Laporte's conciliatory message

leo_to_jury

Brian isn’t bitter though, because he’s the bigger man. What he realized is what we’ve always known: Leo and Lisa Laporte are sociopaths. They will act nice to your face, pretending to be friends. Brian finally realized they were never friends.

Justin Robert Young was never “under the illusion”, because he spent more time at TWiT. He said he had friends there, but not “the top of the company.”

The big revelation is that the childish Lisa Laporte begged to have them back on TWiT, but only if they groveled and apologized better. Brian said “That’s not the way friends talk to each other; that’s not what happens.”

The Firings Continue Like Clockwork

Update: Bryan confirmed he is unemployed, contrary to FMCP’s lie that Bryan is “moving into a new venture“.

Petaluma bus ticket and/or TWiT employment souvenir

It should now be obvious to anyone that TWiT is in an irreversible death spiral after recently suffering its third consecutive month of staff firings.

In early June, TWiT bid adieu to Tony Wang, Kara Kohl and Frédérique Louis, three employees whose hard work and loyalty was reciprocated by getting fired. Then, in July, Nathan Olivarez-Giles was told adios muchacho, given a bus ticket and escorted off the property.

Dramatization of TWiT’s “production meeting”

Last week, TWiT staff assembled for an #insidetwit “production meeting”, a name which must be an inside joke at this point because everyone who works there knows that TWiT podcasts have no production value whatsoever.

TotalDrama’s attempts to infiltrate this meeting failed after we got lost and ended up at Lagunitas. However, we think the meeting must have gone down like an episode of The Apprentice in which everyone had to make a statement about why they should not be fired.

When the smoke finally cleared, TWiT said goodbye to the devilishly debonair Bryan Burnett, the gfycat goddess Carly Perkins and the completely abominable Tonya Hall (fired a second time because the first time it didn’t stick?). We wish them all good luck and hope they land on their feet soon.

As expected, Leo & Lisa Laporte celebrated all the money they just saved by booking another vacation, this time to Disneyland, the happiest place on Earth where dreams come true,unless of course you were just fired from TWiT and can no longer make rent. To show there were no hard feelings the following postcard was mailed out, with postage due on delivery:

Thank you to the anonymous chatter in our chat room for giving us the initial tip for this story. If you were fired from TWiT and wish to speak out against these motherfucking monsters, we encourage you to leave an anonymous comment below or submit a tip.

Leo Laporte Marks Charlottesville Tragedy With His Own Racism

Did Leo Laporte just find out Daily Stormer is only accessible on the Dark Web?

Leo Laporte has a long and storied history of casually racist statements on the air. He once said “they all look alike” and said “nigras” while sitting next to a black man — who he later fired and cancelled his show.

He called Flo a gypsy not once, but twice.

And then we come to his most recent, egregious example of racism. He used a photo of another random Asian woman to represent Katie Benner — who is not a fan of NatureBox — a woman he supposedly knows well, for the duration of a show.

Despite trying to walk back Megan Morrone’s casual racism, he continues to dig his own deeper, racist holes.

Leo Laporte literally cannot tell non-white people apart.

The latest example is Leo Laporte trying to dig himself out of a hole, live on The Tech Guy radio show, broadcast to an ever-shrinking live radio audience, subjected now to his casual racism. Nathan tries to save him repeatedly, but he won’t stop talking.

These two legendary artists are not actually twins.

We find it incredibly painful that Leo Laporte can’t even keep his racism under control after the events of this past weekend in Charlottesville. Disgusting.

Shannon Morse Labels Leo Laporte a Narcissist

One of the more safe-for-work images we have of Mrs. Morse.

The wonderful, talented, and beautiful Shannon Morse — aka Snubs.zip — posted the following to Facebook. She hopes Leo Laporte will change, but she knows he won’t.

“OMG! I hope my old boss sees this. He was definitely a narcissist, and would fire his competition instead of giving them the ability to grow in their career paths. He would publicly shame anyone who disagreed with him, and he’d talk about himself constantly.
But they can change! I don’t think he ever will, but it would be nice. :)”

— Shannon Morse aka Snubs.zip, August 2, 2017

Shannon Morse — aka Snubs — giving an accurate description of Leo Laporte on Facebook

Steve Gibson Resorts to Reusing Testimonials for Long-Broken SpinRite on Security Now

Egads! They got me!

Steve Gibson’s SpinRite program has been broken for the entirety of this decade. It doesn’t run on modern machines which use AHCI to access the hard drive and instead requires legacy ATA. It doesn’t work under UEFI and instead requires a legacy BIOS.

For these reasons, it literally does not run on modern computers. People who still swear by the snake oil program must keep old computers around for the specific purpose of running the Dumbo feather program.

Steve Gibson needs Security Now as his vehicle to keep a stream of new customers coming to buy his now-useless program. With the pittance that Leo pays Steve, he says in his own words this is literally the only reason he continues doing Security Now.

“Leo pays me so little that I pay Elaine more than half of what I receive from TWiT. And if it were not for my ability to keep SpinRite alive through the podcast, this would never have been a viable use of my time.”

— Steve Gibson, July 7, 2017

As you saw in the video at the top of the post, Steve has resorted to reusing testimonials, presumably because no new ones can come in, because the program physically cannot run on modern machines.

What’s shocking is that he pretended to have never heard of the blog post, the “KSOD”, or any of the rest of it. Steve dishonestly presents each reading of the testimonial as if it was a new testimonial that just came in.

The Total Drama Scholarly Research Team set out to find other examples, and they were found easily. This is not an exhaustive list, but here are some examples of testimonial re-use.

  • Security Now 622 and 481
  • Security Now 600 and 333
  • Security Now 456 and 312
  • Security Now 599 and 334
  • The research team was too frustrated to continue after finding this many examples.
Steve Gibson could not be reached for comment.

In the interest of allowing Steve Gibson to explain himself, we requested comment from him on this article. He did not reply. We then requested comment again in his SQRL newsgroup. He did not reply.

Thanks to BillEverlasting in our chat room for giving us the initial tip for this story. Submit your own tips to help us find stories we may have missed!

We fully expect many of these links to disappear, but we have archived everything in case. Let us know in the comments if he starts deleting anything.

Leo Laporte Learns He is a Nobody

Leo Laporte, Diabetic

Leo looooves Wolfram Alpha. He told us so on the latest episode of iOS Today. While Megan Morrone poked at the iPad screen like a monkey, Leo droned on and on about how great Wolfram Alpha is.

We agree with him on that point. You can’t argue with the data. When Leo mentions searching names, Megan’s early-primate fingers type out “leo laporte” into Wolfram Alpha. What appears is magnificent.

Leo Laporte’s declining relevance, expressed in Wikipedia page hits over time.

Notice the dick pic bump in May 2015. That’s the last time people searched for him trying to figure out who “Leo Laporte” was when the story was picked up by Gawker, Perez Hilton, and TomoNews.

When we hear Leo realizing he’s a nobody, like Tonya proved at the Crunchies with her interviewing skills, he sounds really disappointed. Megan tries to console him with a statement of “People don’t use Wikipedia anymore.”

Really, Megan? Wolfram Alpha — which Leo Laporte loooooves — says Wikipedia is the 5th most popular site on the internet.

Thank you to the dark tipper who sent this in. We would have missed it. Submit your own tips to help us out.

Inside the Mind of Perverted Tech Pundit Leo Laporte

Leo Laporte is no stranger to perverted thoughts. From the time he sexually harassed Sarah Lane, to the time he made a disgusting handjob joke about Megan Morrone’s daughter, there is one more thing even more certain than death and taxes, and that’s you can always count on Leo Laporte to say the most perverted things live on the air.

TWiT’s public relations consultant (O’Doctah) could not be reached for comment.

Case in point on This Week In Google, everyone’s favorite IoT princess Stacey Higginbotham was introducing a new camera appliance and made the unfortunate mistake of rubbing it up and down.

Instead of being a professional and letting this go Leo Laporte immediately went FULL PERVERT and told Stacey to “stop rubbing it”.

Not only was this embarrassing and completely avoidable, but it affirmed what we’ve been saying all this time… that Leo Laporte has possibly the most perverted mind in the universe.

Through the power of modern technology (thank you Starbucks) we’ve been able to see exactly what Leo Laporte was thinking the entire time. Viewer Discretion is Advised.

Man of God: Father Robert Ballecer Lies While at Religious Retreat

Update: The liar priest, who is supposedly without technology on a vow of silence, is now muting accounts on his personal YouTube (Proof) within 2 minutes (push notifications). Absolutely incredible.
Father Robert Ballecer
Fr. Robert Ballecer

This is the Total Drama series Man of God, in which we chronicle the exploits of one Father Robert Ballecer, aka Grimace in a Priest Costume, aka The Digital Jesuit, aka <PadreSJ>, aka FMCP. Please use our dvr and send in tips with examples of his very Christlike behavior.

Something very strange is happening over on Father Robert Ballecer’s Twitter profile. The fat fake priest — aka FMCP aka PadreSJ — is pretending to have written an artificial intelligence bot that is running his Twitter.

He is supposedly away at a no-technology Jesuit retreat. Mercifully, this is the reason he is not appearing on TWiT right now.

We found it odd that he has timely mentions of things that just happened, such as the new Doctor being announced and National Ice Cream Day — a holiday we are certain he celebrates daily.

We did some digging using the actual Twitter API. All of his Tweets are being posted from TweetDeck. Here’s the source attribute from almost all of his “bot” tweets:

"source":"<a href="https://about.twitter.com/products/tweetdeck" rel="nofollow">TweetDeck</a>"

He can’t control that string, because it’s set by Twitter’s server side based on the API keys being used. He’s 100% using the TweetDeck program to post his tweets.

TweetDeck can’t create Twitter polls. No consumer of the Twitter API can, including FMCP’s fictional “bot” lie. The fake priest logged onto the Twitter web site to post these polls:

"source":"<a href="http://twitter.com" rel="nofollow">Twitter Web Client</a>"
"source":"<a href="http://twitter.com" rel="nofollow">Twitter Web Client</a>"

Some questions:

  1. Did FMCP sneak a smartphone into the no-technology religious retreat under one of his many fat folds?
  2. Is Bryan Burnett running FMCP’s Twitter and pretending to be a robot, not far from the truth? Edit: This hypothesis is improbable, now that we’ve seen he is policing his own YouTube/Google account via push notifications.
  3. Does FMCP think anyone believes he knows how to program anything, let alone an artificial intelligence that can respond to current events? We’ve seen Coding 101.

Don’t forget to read the rest of the Man of God series detailing Father Robert Ballecer’s misdeeds in real life and on Twitter.

Watch Leo Laporte Struggle Using Linux

Time capsule of the last time Leo learned something new about technology.

Leo Laporte, Theeeeeeeeeeeeeee Tech Guy, had some technical difficulties with his System76 laptop during Triangulation.

After the show, he sought help from the shutins who frequent his chatroom and discuss Game of Thrones instead of the current guest.

Leo Laporte literally doesn’t even know what distribution he’s using, as you can see in the clip above. He desperately tries to follow Keith512’s instructions before giving up and saying he’ll just use a Mac from now on.

<@Keith512> what nvidia driver is it
<@Keith512> 375,381 or 384
<@Keith512> inxi -F will tell you
<@Keith512> maybe upgrade 375.66 to 381.22
<@Keith512> let me just check

Listen as Leo does various voice impersonations to try to deflect from the obvious awkwardness. It’s a long clip, but it’s painfully delicious.

Maybe he should follow his own advice for fellow grandpas and long-haul truckers:

JUST BUY A CHROMEBOOK.