Is Jon Kalish Infatuated With Father Robert Ballecer?

Jon Kalish: Author, not the GNU foot eating guy
Jon Kalish: Author, not the GNU foot eating guy

Father Robert Ballecer does a great job on the TWiT TV Network making LEDs blink, making LEDs blink, making LEDs blink, and also making LEDs blink. Editor’s note: Jimmy Jam pointed out that FMCP also talks about drones incessantly and does native ads for Acer.

But, what some may not know is his storied history at the TWiT TV Network. Never fear; the creepy Jon Kalish, who may or may not be gay for Father Robert Ballecer — not that there’s anything wrong with that — is on the case. The very same Kalish who has a long history of slobbing TWiT’s knob (example 2010, example 2014, example 2016).

Father Robert Ballecer
Fr. Robert Ballecer

In his latest long, sloppy blowjob of an article (archive link), he chronicles the rise of the morbidly obese fake priest from a dumpster diving — that happened — computer builder to a TWiT TV Network personality that makes LEDs blink.

The article also makes the claim that Tom Merritt is to blame for the existence of FMCP on the TWiT TV Network.

And, last but not least, in the article’s introductory section, Jon Kalish quotes an accurate YouTube commenter stating:

“A priest is doing ads? This is the end times.”


Leo Laporte Insults John C. Dvorak’s Writing on Windows Weekly

The wiser, more distinguished gentleman.
The wiser, more distinguished gentleman.

Leo Laporte can’t seem to keep his trap shut about John C. Dvorak.

The wise Dvorak hasn’t been back to TWiT since the banning, and he hasn’t been happy about all the insults (example, example, example, example). Always a man of class, Dvorak never responds in kind.

That doesn’t stop Leo Laporte from mentioning Dvorak at least once a week, however, almost always in a negative light.

In the video above, Leo makes fun of John again, doing his rude impression, and then makes fun of John’s headlines at PCMagazine. Paul Thurrott jokes that all of Dvorak’s current articles are rehashed content from the 1980’s with new product names inserted, and the portly Laporte agrees.

Just get over him, Leo!

Leo Laporte Discusses Dumping More TWiT Shows

Chins for days.
Chins for days.

Leo Laporte lives a pretty tough life. In between $22,000 cruises complaining about rancid food and getting butlers to serve CeHO for the next cruise, he has to occasionally show up to the Shoebox Studios to interrupt his guests/cohosts and say incorrect things on camera.

It takes a lot out of the poor guy, so he’s looking to drop more shows, reducing his “work” week to 4 days. He tried to rope Megan into hosting more shows, as you can see in the video above, and then ponders dropping Windows Weekly.

Look out Paul Thurrott and Mary Jo Foley! Your shared hairdresser has to get paid somehow.

This story is thanks to an anonymous reader tip. Please submit your own tips when you find something interesting.

Megan Morrone Plans Her Escape from Leo Laporte

Hilton A. Goring could not be reached for comment.
Hilton A. Goring could not be reached for comment.

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Morbi ornare diam leo, at porttitor turpis semper sed. Etiam hendrerit eros at felis vulputate, et consectetur tortor cursus. Curabitur hendrerit nulla sed neque imperdiet aliquet. Praesent vel odio Leo Laporte placerat, rhoncus massa non, scelerisque odio. Aliquam id dignissim turpis. Praesent elementum nunc eu porttitor fermentum. Vestibulum in sem vel magna congue molestie et at ipsum.

Can you just imagine Leo and Lisa using this thing?
Can you just imagine Leo and Lisa using this thing?

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TD loves that smile.
TD loves that smile.

Nulla facilisi Christina Warren. Mauris a sodales augue. Phasellus accumsan tincidunt dui nec sagittis. Praesent rhoncus neque metus, ut porta urna convallis nec. Class aptent taciti sociosqu ad litora torquent per conubia nostra, per inceptos himenaeos. Vestibulum facilisis lectus nec leo pretium eleifend. Proin euismod tincidunt diam, at commodo nunc feugiat sed. Aenean laoreet nisi vitae tellus viverra facilisis. Ut ornare tristique mauris eget lobortis. Praesent arcu nibh, Mallory Ortberg sodales et iaculis eu, tincidunt non diam. Aenean et tincidunt lectus. Integer quis vulputate sapien. Vivamus ornare convallis elementum.

PCMag Native Ad: TWiT’s Chat Room is a “Global Braintrust”

Update 2: Shannon Morse’s — aka Snubs — picture has been removed from the original article by her own request. See the archive link for the original article.
Update 1: Shannon Morse — aka Snubshas responded to her corpse being trotted out for PadreSJ and Leo’s benefit.
Jon Kalish: Author, not the GNU foot eating guy
Jon Kalish: Author, not the GNU foot eating guy


Prior Leo Laporte scrot-licker Jon Kalish (2010, 2014, etc) wrote another fluff piece/native ad for TWiT’s benefit, and it’s a really funny piece this time.

PCMag’s headline is funny enough: Geek Squad? Nah, Try TWIT’s Chat Rooms (Archive link)

Subtitle: “TWIT can be accessed by anyone with a Web browser, and once you log in, you’ve tapped into a global braintrust.”

LOL again.

We don’t want to ruin the rest of the article, but it appears to have been ghostwritten by Father Robert Ballecer. There is lots of puffing up (get it?) of FMCP, including two pictures of him.

Hilton A. Goring could not be reached for comment.
Hilton A. Goring could not be reached for comment.

In the first picture, Jon Kalish shows a smiling Snubs (fired), Dale Chase (black, so also fired, of course), and FMCP starring in Coding 101 (cancelled).

In the latter picture, it appears Fr. Ballecer is proud of being squeezed to death by his priest costume.

The TWIT chat room does have its down side. In recent years, trolls have been so unpleasant that Laporte considered ending chat. Many moderators quit.

“These trolls are really vicious, horrible people,” Laporte told me.

How horrible? Someone recently made fun of the fact that a chat room regular known as Tater passed away.

Is this real life?

John C. Dvorak is similarly bemused.

Shannon Morse’s (Snubs) response to her corpse being trotted out for PadreSJ and Leo’s benefit

Additionally, she replied in the source article’s comments.

Shannon Morse PCMag Response Article Comments

Leo Laporte Says He Will Never Have an App and Wasted $85,000

What a douche.
Time capsule of the last time Leo learned something new about technology.

Leo Laporte measures things in tens of thousands of dollars. Some examples: $22,000 cruises. $350,000 website.

Previously, he claimed they had spent $60,000 on apps and had nothing to show for it.

Leo now claims they’re $15,000 or $25,000 — because who can be sure about a $10,000 price difference — further in the hole, still with nothing to show for it. The claimed total is now up to $85,000.

Hilton A. Goring could not be reached for comment.
Hilton A. Goring could not be reached for comment.

Perhaps CeHO Yoko just needs to allocate her time to it.

Why can third party developers make apps for free, but Leo Laporte and Lisa Laporte can’t even get a product they pay for? Are they that big of a joke and that big of a mark?

Leo Laporte Ridicules Megan Morrone for Sitting Quietly and Commands Her to Speak

Dance, you glorious monkey.
Dance, you glorious monkey.

The insufferable Alex Lindsay is used to living and working in Rwanda, but even he seemed appalled by the conditions, poor lighting, and terrible audio at the new Shoebox Studio.

While Alex described another one of his idiotic ideas for 360° camera placement, Leo interrupted — the theme of any Leo Laporte show — with what Leo thought would be a funny retort. He looked over at Megan and instantly thought up a funny insult and, of course, he blurted it out immediately.

Watching Megan’s wince, as usual, makes it all worth it. Megan’s Laporte-induced winces are wonderful. They are life.

Will Tonya Hall Ever Be Allowed On-Screen Again?

Jason Howell at TechCrunch Disrupt 2016
Jason Howell at TechCrunch Disrupt 2016

It’s been seven months since Tonya Hall — aka Two Ton Tonya in the chat room — has been “on the air.” Her well-run Marketing Mavericks show was always filled with great guests, but ultimately it was cancelled.

Where in the World is Tonya Hall?
Where in the World is Tonya Hall?

At the time, she lied and said it was going on hiatus and would be back when she returned from Russia. As best we can figure out, she never went to Russia.

Is she in Witness Protection?

Her Twitter picture looks nothing like her. We are sincerely worried about her well-being and future at TWiT.

Tonya Hall: Twitter vs Reality
Tonya Hall: Twitter vs Reality

Has Leo Laporte not allowed her back on the air because of her live humiliation of Sarah Lane, Leo Laporte, the TWiT Network, the City of Petaluma, and herself all at the same time?

We may never know, but we’re worried about her. Below, you can see her last known appearance, lurking in the shadows like a monster from an urban legend. We hope these grainy pixels aren’t the last we see of Tonya Hall.

Leo Laporte Likens John C. Dvorak to a Dishonest TV Preacher

Update: John is displeased, as one could expect. He discussed the situation with Andy Horowitz on DH Unplugged starting around 43:00. The “Chipotle” reference after our clip ends refers to around 40:15.

John says “In these situations, he’s just a prick.”

John also tweeted a few replies to sheep that keep asking him when he’s going to be on The New Screen Savers.

Thanks to a commenter and tipster for this new information.

The dumb, fat one on the left seems to hate the journalist maverick on the right.
The dumb, fat one on the left seems to hate the journalist maverick on the right.

Fount of idiocy Leo Laporte took to his live stream on Saturday to insult John C. Dvorak yet again. It wasn’t enough to ban him for things he said on No Agenda. It wasn’t enough to insult him again and again, finally blaming John for the breakup.

In the video above, you’ll see Leo Laporte say yet again that he doesn’t listen to No Agenda, but he feels completely comfortable insulting John C. Dvorak based on its contents. Leo Laporte compares John to an insincere TV preacher, lying to take stupid people’s money *cough bricks cough*.

Me leave TWiT? Never!
Me leave TWiT? Never!

Leo says that No Agenda is pulling the wool over its subscribers’ eyes and that it’s all an act to take advantage of the No Agenda fans, again calling it a “conspiracy theory” podcast. He says they’re cynical and are just in it for the money, not believing their own words.

But hey, Steve Gibson is perfectly OK with all of this, so why should any of Leo’s fans care. Oh shit. They do care. Read some of the replies to this tweet.

John was not pleased.