Leo Laporte Insults Someone Else’s Penis Size

Leo Laporte previously displayed a dick pic on-screen on The Tech Guy. It nearly killed our servers from people viewing the tiny, gray-haired penis over and over.

You’d think that he’d stay away from penis size comparisons after that event, but you would be wrong, as the video above showed. Has #Soup no shame?

You can follow the rest of the #dickgate coverage here.

Megan Morrone continues to not care about her job or appearance

It's seems strange that Megan Morrone continues to collect a paycheck for such shoddy work.
It’s seems strange that Megan Morrone continues to collect a paycheck for such shoddy work.
Megan Morrone delivers the news on TN2.
Megan Morrone delivers the news on TN2.

In honor of Halloween, (because, really, what other excuse could there possibly be?) an orange-faced Megan “I’m a Mom” Morrone appeared visibly angry on the set of “Tech News Tonight” yesterday and flubbed her lines, stuttered over pre-written jokes and generally acted like a fool. In the process, the usually well-composed Georgia Dow was thrown off by Morrone’s monster-like appearance as she turned in a less-than-stellar performance of her own. But Dow can be forgiven in the face of the disturbing jack-o-lantern that Megan Morrone presented on-screen.

Hey, Megan: How about doing us all a favor and leaving the pumpkinhead impersonation to EffenDunn?

TWiT Technical Directors Still Can’t Spell

Cheif TWiT
Leo Laporte can’t be blamed for everything at TWiT. Sometimes the technical directors (the bumbling oafs sitting behind the TriCaster) must bear the blame for being unable to spell.

Much like the prior misspelling on the flagship show The New Screen Savers, they can’t even spell the word chief.

You may watch yourself, if you don’t mind adding to his view count for the flagging flagship show. We are constantly accused of photoshopping, yet no proof ever emerges.

As always, thanks to one of our loyal readers for submitting this in our feedback link. You can join us in our chat room at any time to talk about #Soup and TWiT’s failings.

Correction to the record by the editorial board of Total Drama

We can't get enough of the shit on TWiT.Total Drama has come under intense and sustained attack by commenters pointing out that we have been flat-out wrong about a number of issues recently. We are nothing if not fully engaged in a robust and far-reaching inquiry into truth. So it is with a humble heart and an open mind toward change that the editorial board at Total Drama would like to offer up the following corrections:

  1. Megan Morrone is a beautiful woman with feminine eyebrows who should be allowed to talk about her kids as much as she wants even though she works for a lecherous pig who circumvents the very “family-friendly” nature of the network he purports to uphold. The idea that she is supporting the livelihood of a man who routinely sexually harasses every woman on his staff is ludicrous. And she most assuredly does not look like comedian Demetri Martin.
  2. EffenDunn (Jason C. Cleanthes) is a good-looking man with a full head of hair and clear skin who does not laugh like a hyena whenever he fucks up. In fact, the notion that he has ever “fucked up” is an outrageous mischaracterization of the truth. There was also no point in time where he was unable to run the TriCaster. He has always been good at his job and any remarks to the contrary are just filthy lies.
  3. Lisa Laporte is a talented woman whose bangs are lovely. She most definitely did not “wreck” Leo Laporte’s home and cause his divorce. The fact that she insists on fancy European vacations and expensive cruises should be understood as well-earned time away from her excruciating work schedule of designing t-shirts and looking for windowless warehouses because she botched the TWiT Brickhouse lease.
  4. Amber MacArthur was not fired with no notice before her last show with Sarah Lane and is always happy to have her name mentioned during FreshBooks live ad ads.
  5. Tonya Hall is a slender and lovely woman and the idea that she would be referred to as “Two Ton Tonya” is just completely horrible. Her show “Marketing Mavericks” was not cancelled. It is simply on “hiatus” forever.
  6. Leo Laporte is a caring father and the fact that he did not tell his mother about his marriage to Lisa Kentzell should not factor into anyone’s decision as to the true nature of Leo’s relationship with his mother. Leo did not cheat on his wife. She simply decided to “go away” on her own.

Total Drama commenters are losing their shit

We can't get enough of the shit on TWiT.
A reminder that Total Drama is a mix of fun and fact.

Just a quick note to the shrill commenters on the latest hate-posts regarding Megan and Effenstupid:

You all need to pull your heads out of your asses and realize that Total Drama is a frothy soup of commentary, comedy, investigative journalism, hyperbole, facts and fun.

If you’ve ever picked up a newspaper in your life, you’d realize that there is hard news on the front page, feature stories on the inside, and oh—get this!—cartoons on the back page.

Jason C. Cleanthes is a stupid dumbass garbage can of a man

Jason C. Cleanthes is a garbage can of a man with no brain. Just look at this bizarre clown:

Scary weirdo, Jason C. Cleanthes
Scary weirdo, Jason C. Cleanthes

Be sure to tweet him at his ridiculous Twitter handle EffenDunn to let him know if you think his constant laughing and saying “sorry” before and after “Tech News Today” is getting on your nerves. He’d love to hear from you.

This man moved to Petaluma to be near his hero, Leo Laporte. Can you believe that shit? And  Cleanthes is still trying to make himself an on-air personality by putting the camera on himself before the start of the shows he is technical director for.

Hey, Jason…nobody wants to see you. Just put the camera on Marc Elgum and be done with it. Or go back to the zoo, you dumb ape.

Megan Morrone increasingly looking more like a talking piece of cat shit

Megan Morrone is barely able to stomach sitting next to the pig Leo Laporte and it's definitely taking a toll on her womanhood.
Megan Morrone is barely able to stomach sitting next to the pig Leo Laporte and it’s definitely taking a toll on her womanhood.

Megan Morrone, mother of five boys and 14 dogs, is increasingly looking more and more like a piece of talking cat shit. Her only real job at TWiT (co-host of “iOS Today”) is a joke and she’s obviously just content to sit there and let Leo Laporte mention his favorite porn sites, his subscription to “Playboy” magazine and other inappropriate garbage topics.

Best of luck to you, Megan as you enter your fifth decade. Please tell your nose to stop growing—it’s big enough for a man already, let alone a woman. (Check out her official Wikipedia picture and tell us in the comments section if you think she’s camera-ready.)

Leo Laporte Gives Up Hope for Being a Normal Weight

Leo Laporte BMI Chart
Leo Laporte BMI Chart
Obese Leo Laporte is 5’10”. He should weigh between 132 and 173 to be a healthy weight.

He used to have a wish to be a healthy weight, even if he never had the drive, self control, or respect for others to achieve it.

231.4 – 76.4 = 155 (Middle of normal range)

Now, the sad old man’s goal is only to one day be overweight instead of obese. Let’s see if he can achieve that! He’s trending higher in 2 years, not lower, so we don’t have high hopes.

234.7 – 54.7 = 180 (Overweight)

Leo Laporte Further Insults and Erases Prior Friend John C. Dvorak

Leo Laporte simply can’t stop insulting John C. Dvorak, as you can hear in the video above. He thinks saying “you’re unbanned” negates all the personal insults he’s thrown at John on Twitter publicly.

However, like the erasure of Brian Brushwood and Justin Robert Young before him, once Leo is done with you, you never existed and you never mattered. Leo already had John C. Dvorak erased from the TWiT people page.

He will likely lie about it to our face as well.

John C. Who? Never heard of him.
John C. Who? Never heard of him.

Look what he’s already telling the sheep: