Media Superstar Howard Stern Belittles TWiT and Questions Revenue Numbers

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A Real Talent Howard Stern
A Real Talent: Howard Stern

Jeff Jarvis, CUNY adjunct professor of something, telephoned in to the Howard Stern radio program to kiss Howard’s ass. Between kisses, Google’s #1 fan tried to get in a plug for his other love; Leo Laporte.

Howard would have none of it and laid down the truth.

Howard openly called in to question the revenue numbers publicly given out by TWiT and Leo’s wife turned CEO. He went on to mock the chosen name of the network.
Howard; we loved you before and we love you more now, you have always been an inspiration to those of us tirelessly working at TotalDrama HQ. Babbooey dear friend.
Hey Jeff, thanks for helping out, we owe you one!

Longer Audio Clip

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Special thanks to long-time member of TotalDrama koolaide from our chat room and comments for the audio contributions. Team #OneAss.

Leo Laporte refuses to admit he’s being trolled now by major podcasting conferences

Leo Laporte is an idiot, and so was the idea to put his studio in the middle of nowhere.
Leo Laporte is has pretty much given up on life, his career and supporting his industry.

Leo Laporte is continuing his slide into irrelevance by refusing to take part in a major podcasting conference called “Podcast Movement” scheduled this weekend in Fort Worth, Texas. In fact, Leo had to tweet that he’s not going to be there after the group put up a page announcing his appearance. (Here’s an archive link in case the original linked above is taken down.)

Podcast Movement has Leo Laporte listed as a conference speaker this weekend.
Podcast Movement has Leo Laporte listed as a conference speaker this weekend.

There remains the possibility that the podcasting conference is trolling Laporte and knows he never intended to show up. Which, if true as Leo implies in a Tweet, would qualify Podcast Movement for our annual TotalDrama “Troll of the Year” award.

Podcast Movement used a great photo of Leo Laporte with no hair—something the egomaniac Laporte is sure to appreciate, and Leo Haters the worldwide are relishing. In fact, the photo was taken from this TotalDrama post. Here’s the rude and slightly menacing Tweet Leo sent to an adoring fan:

Now it appears that the two-faced Laporte is “honored” to be included. So which is it, Leo? Are you happy to be associated with your chosen profession, or are you still insisting on calling your shitty shows “netcasts”? Either way, Podcast Movement is still using a photo of you originally posted on TotalDrama of you with a bald head, looking like a piece of headphone-wearing garbage.

Guests finally beginning to cancel on the pervert Leo Laporte

Guests and co-hosts of TWiT shows are finally beginning to see the light of truth shining on Leo Laporte’s perverted actions and are bailing on the fat host and his failing network. It’s like the USB-enabled rats are fleeing a fat sinking ship.

And in further evidence that the once mighty network is showing foundational cracks, technical director Jason Howell had to yank Leo back from the brink last week from a disastrous ad-related decision and remind him that per the signed contract with advertisers, Leo can’t just move ad placements around from show to show. Thus, Leo is recording “iPad Today” with zero ads. Tada!

Lf05VNC
Leo Laporte was photographed frantically searching the Internet for a replacement guest.

“iPad Today” had to run early to take the place of a guest cancellation on the boring “Triangulation” show (which was originally intended as a three-way interview format between guest, Leo and the chatroom…but Leo long ago dropped the pretense of involving #twitlive in the show). Leo then proceeded to badmouth the guest, sci-fi writer Ernest Cline. Thank God for Ernest that he didn’t appear on the show. Who needs that kind of negative publicity  of Leo Googling you during the show to figure out what the hell he’s going to ask. You can only talk bout the weather and where you born for so long.

Is this a non-Mexican version of Padre? Perhaps this person can be a guest on "Triangulation."
Is this a non-Mexican version of Padre? Perhaps this person can be a guest on “Triangulation.”

Pfft Free Speech

I have been listening to these three great minds (below) for quite some time. These are three advocates of free speech and three self-proclaimed journalists, who think that Twitter is a cesspool and *needs to close, and Redditt needs to grow up and trash the “bad” subreddits. Facebook is fine because Zuckerberg, a man obsessed with profit, already unilaterally decided that on his site, home to billions of people, a kid in flip flops, all alone will decide what you can say.

Three Great Minds who Don't Like Name Calling
Three Great Minds who Don’t Like Name Calling

In 1980 you would be shunned if you said gays should be allowed to marry. In 1960 you could be lynched if you screamed blacks should use the same toilet as whites. In 1940  Germany you could be shot for advocating hiding a Jew in your home. In 1520 you went to jail for proposing that the Earth is flat.

Sometimes the majority is wrong: true that.

Maybe free speech has some draw backs, like trolling, but it is still kinda important, heck it’s even in some documents in famous museums.

Genius or Lucky Nerd?
Genius or Lucky Nerd?

We can either let hipsters with beards running websites determine what is allowed and what isn’t, or we can just like, sorta allow all free speech, like how the founding patriarchs of America intended. Jeff Jarvis or Thomas Jefferson? Lance Ullanoff or John Adams? Sometimes, once in while, here and there, the unpopular opinions are even right. Some of those opinions even change the world. (Albeit, not the ones about the TWiT CEO)

I can cut them some slack when curtailing opinions on a small medium like an irc, but don’t these intellectuals realize that if the pillars of the internet, Facebook, Twitter and Reddit, disallow free speech, it sorta creates a problem. Kinda like  if all the TV stations refused to air what they don’t like. Yea, I kinda sorta make sense sorta.

Just to be clear douche-bags; having the pillars of the internet prohibit free speech is effectively prohibiting free speech.

Who knows why the symbol for justice is a scale?
Help, I can’t see!

Perhaps Jeff Jarvis should have to deal with someone calling him a shill on Twitter and Leo should have to deal with someone calling him fat. There is a reason lady justice holds a scale, some issues are more important than others. Lastly, whenever you take “haters” and put them in a ghetto away from normal people you excasserbate the problem. If you’re a lone racist in a crowd of normal people you will be quieted. If you are a racist amongst racists you create peer pressure to be even racist-ier.

Full disclosure I could not care less about Free Speech, it’s just the hypocrisy I can’t stomach.

UPDATE: This is in response to a comment: I am well aware that these are public companies and they are not bound by law to comply with any Free Speech doctrines. Yet, I feel that companies of their size should voluntarily adhere to these Free Speech principals in order to retain credibility as a platform.

* Per Jason Cortez – they never said “it needs to close” that was an assumption by the author regarding the critique of these sites for allowing trolls
**Please alert me in comments for spelling and grammar mistakes
***Sorry for America centric notions but that’s my hometown. And all you other countries like California copied us anyway.

What’s wrong with Christina Warren’s face?

Christina Warren looks like a garbage truck ran over her face and dumped a load of fake eyelashes on her.
Christina Warren looks like a garbage truck ran over her face and dumped a load of fake eyelashes on her.
Goddamn, she's ugly.
Goddamn she’s ugly.

What the fuck is going on with Christina Warren and her desire to whore herself up? On a recent episode of “Tech News Today” the Mashable senior tech writer looked like she’d been dragged behind an ambulance full of prostitutes for 69 miles.

Plus, her jawline is not as pronounced as it was a month ago—what with her unexplained weight gain and all. And she’s certainly not going to win any beauty contests if that double chin continues to grow.

Somebody needs to tell this bitch that we’re not buying her “woman in tech” schtick anymore. She’s just a babbling cunt. Tweet her at @film_girl to ask if she’s OK or needs to be taken to the hospital.

Leo Laporte displays his fondness for sex swings on-air

Leo streamed his Google dictations on the livestream of "This Week in Google." If you can't read it, it says, "hang up sex swing." Click to view the full screenshot.
Leo streamed his Google dictations on the livestream of “This Week in Google.” If you can’t read it, it says, “hang up sex swing.” Click to view the full screenshot.

In another breach of the trust of the “family-friendly” viewing environment that the TWiT network claims to maintain, the ever-perverted Leo Laporte has done it again, giving the livestream viewers another unwanted peek behind the sordid curtain of his disgusting lifestyle on a recent taping of “This Week in Google.” When the discussion turned to Google’s saving of voice notes, Leo casually scrolled through his search history and revealed that he had used Google to either search for, or dictate a reminder note for “hang up sex swing” and then “hang sex swing.”

Can you just imagine Leo and Lisa using this thing?
Can you just imagine Leo and Lisa using this thing?

The sex swing is most likely intended to be used as a marital aid with his mistress-turned-CEO, Lisa Kentzell Laporte.

Barf.

One can only imagine the horrors that Siri has been subjected to if this is how he mistreats Google’s voice dictation feature. This of course follows closely on the heels of Leo’s posting of his dick pic that was subsequently covered by TotalDrama, Gawker and Perez Hilton.

Here’s the video to calm the fears of those who think that this has been altered or video “Photoshopped” in any way:

Please keep the suggestions and story tips coming as we value reader input. Thank you!

Spy pic of Leo Laporte reveals possible tumor in belly

Leo Laporte is fatter than ever following a three-week European vacation.
Leo Laporte is fatter than ever following a three-week European vacation.

Leo Laporte—fresh off a three-week European vacation where he floated and Segwayed his way across the Continent—is fatter than ever.

In a recently-obtained spy photo, Leo appears to either be on the verge of death because of a belly that refuses to shrink, or is possibly even suffering from a rare stomach tumor that only affects obese men who marry whores.

Our prayers are with the Laporte family during this difficult time. Father Robert Ballecer would also be praying for them, but he’s too busy flying quadcopters over kindergarten playgrounds.

The New Screen Savers is Officially a Monumental Failure

Well a hey hey hey and a how de do, it didn’t take long but TWiT’s last hope is apparently on its way out. The show known as The New Screen Savers is witnessing its ratings descend at an alarming rate.

Youtube views for video shows are meaningless indicators of popularity. [WinkyFace]

Will this show ever reach TNT level lows?
Will this show ever reach TNT level lows?

Let’s dish, the show was ill-conceived at the outset. They had one advantage in that salaried employees could be made to work on the show at minimal to no cost.  But the shearing of talent meant they had no one left to put on screen. They were forced to cash in a lot of favors from outsiders, but now that well is drying up too. No one wants to be on this failing program without being paid (at least) on a similar level to Patrick.

Not in the top 40??
Not in the top 40??

Oh, and if you non-believers want to see the top 40 tech podcast list unaltered you can click this. But TNSS is undoubtedly in trouble. Who knows, maybe the CEO/ PR expert/ Wife/ Host/ SalesExec/ Producer did not realize that a video show is not an ideal fit for an MP3 dominated podcasting genre. Remember when hopes were high at the studio and fans always heard about new shows on the horizon? That ship sure as heck passed, when was the last time the gun shy execs even teased a new show? They don’t even lie about new shows anymore.

Whatever the colossal error was, the begging of guests  is not the answer. Folks who graciously appear in-studio, should not be pestered into prerecording a TNSS segment because it just takes “a few minutes” after doing This Week in Tech. Frankly my dear, it’s kind of rude. This network needs a better business model than relying on the kindness of others. Already we see TWiT being forced to call in Christina Warren, Inhatko, Ritchie and other TWiT contractors to be This Week in Tech guests. The impact of TNSS on This Week in Tech is a further reduction in guests as tech journalists try and avoid the badgering to do free segments for TNSS. He already fired Chad for not getting good guests who is the next whipping boy?

(Should  the 4th sexiest person in tech ask for a raise?)

Keep the ban going!
Keep the ban going!

Is it time to zip up the body bag on this show and maybe roll the dice on a Padre toy helicopter show instead? We doubt Leo will cancel this show and we predict a pig-headed stubbornness in the vain of, his choice of TNT host, to win out over reason. But…..

Self Love
SelfLove, Ever see him happier?

Folks, Leo needs help and he can’t ask his fans so I will be his voice. Can anyone offer some advice in the comments on how we can save this show?

*Now, why does Padre start three/fourths of his sentences with the word “now” when he does his 1920’s radio voice?

Follow Up

guest-submission2

We all loooooove catching people in lies and none are more fun to catch than the two masters, Leo and Padre, go on and click the image below to read PSJ’s horse hooey.

Making the world a better place
Making the world a better place (Non-relevant portion is darkened – full conversation is here.)

The church is now an employee leasing service? I liked the old lie better, ‘he is spreading good will for the church by being at TWiT.’

We have been told countless times by Leo that PadreSJ has turned down assignments from the Church to work at TWiT. So why did he say that the church ASKED him to be at TWiT? The church didn’t know shit about TWiT until Padre told them. PSJ has also made references to the church not being happy with him. Why? In his twitter feed the man has said many times he chose to be at TWiT and was asked to do some sort of year long sabbatical he is pushing off. Am I supposed to pretend an arch-bishop or some higher up came up with the idea to put PSJ at TWiT? Come now.

Does he really expect us to believe TWiT’s measly donation pays for his room, board, food, expenses and saving Bolivia?
Why wont he say how much the #guzzler pays the church annually? I am gonna bet that the job Padre stole would have cost #Soup at least 100K in salary, payroll expenses, insurance and benefits if TWiT had to pay a “regular Joe.” TWiT probably pays the church 5K-25K annually tops.

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I am not a church guy but I have no animosity towards the church either, Why not just be honest? Don’t try and paint working at TWiT as something you will be canonized for. Stay quiet. Working at TWiT is not god’s work.  Hopefully PSJ fooled himself so he can sleep at night because he doesn’t fool me.

**The blackout was not done to take something out of context or protect PSJs target. Everything  aside from his fib about the Church asking him to be at TWiT was not relevant. The link is in the picture caption**

Leo Laporte is a disgusting clown

What a god damn clown this fuckin' douchebag is in that stupid German costume shit.
What a goddamn clown this fuckin’ douchebag is in that stupid German costume shit.

Look at this piece of shit outfit that Leo Laporte brought back from his vacation (a three-week tour through Europe rumored to have cost upwards of $35,000). Leo looks like total shit and Megan is as ugly as ever.

We are really expected to believe that Lisa Kentzell Laporte is fucking this monster?

Update: Look at his whore wife:

Lisa the whore
Lisa the whore

Update: Upon closer inspection, it appears that Megan is indeed a raving beauty. Thanks to the commenters for pointing out that she’s not a fugly wreck of a Kevin Rose look-a-like as first thought.

This is completely stupid-looking on his fatass, gross body.
This is completely stupid-looking on his fatass, gross body.