Leo Laporte Explains What It’s Like To Have Sexual Intercourse With Him

Take in the view, ladies.
Take in the view, ladies.

Leo Laporte, who you’d think would know better than to actually flash a dick pic on the stream, managed to one-up himself yet again on Sunday’s episode of “This Week in Tech.”

Here’s the scene: Georgia Dow was the female guest and thus the undeserving target of Leo’s sexually-laced commentary when Leo decided to unload on her as seen in the video above. We certainly feel sorry for Georgia, but she later excused his behavior, even though he apologized only to Anthony, Georgia’s husband, and not to Georgia herself. Does Leo believe that women are still the property of their husband?

One cannot simply sit by while Leo Laporte commits grievous atrocities against women when he wants his family-friendly network to be an example for children. Total Drama stands with Georgia and countless other females and minorities that have been disrespected on the TWiT network. Leo’s behavior is unacceptable.

What did he just call me?!
What did he just call me?!

We encourage women and minorities to boycott TWiT until Leo stops showing dick pics on the stream, sexually harrassing women, and saying “nigras” on-air.

Leo Laporte Drags Steve Gibson Through the Mud Again

"He said what about me??"
“He said what about me??”

In yet another breach of decorum by a supposed professional broadcaster, the editorial team at Total Drama has taken possession of video in which Leo Laporte pretty much takes a sledgehammer to “Security Now” host Steve Gibson, smashing his personality and slamming his general good nature.

One would not be blamed for finding it hard to believe that Leo Laporte didn’t learn his lesson the last time we covered him massively disrespecting Steve Gibson live on-air. Scratch that. #Soup never learns and he’s a sociopath in our opinion.

The video above is just the latest example. Many tips were sent in—so thank you—but it took a while to compile all the footage and give our readers the appropriate context that they deserve.

If you can’t watch the video, here’s a little summary:

  1. Leo Laporte says Steve Gibson drones on when speaking.
  2. Leo says Paul Thurrott will call Steve Gibson “an idiot” over his Windows 10 concerns.
  3. Paul shared the same concerns and refused to call Steve an idiot.

Previous video from the last time:

“The New Screen Savers” has no live in-studio audience and is basically a total failure

Cancel this, please
Nobody cares anymore about you or your dumb show, Leo.

When the diabetes-ridden Leo Laporte and his whorish, gold-digging bride pinned their hopes and dreams on the TWiT-saving débâcle known as “The New Screen Savers,” they fervently wished that each show would be lovingly adored by a live, in-studio audience. But there would have been no way for them to have had any idea what was in store for them. But the dream became a nightmare  on the August 29, 2015 edition of TNSS: Exactly zero people showed up to watch live.

Just look how fat Mike Elgan looks without his lame blazer. Is every shitty TWiT employee a fatass?
Just look how fat Mike Elgan looks without his lame blazer. Is every shitty TWiT employee a fatass? And look at Leo wipe his sweaty face. YUCK!

Leo asked, “What happened?” when he learned there was nobody to read the traditional cold-open of the lame attempt to recapture the former glory days of TechTV’s legendary live show. So Leo did what any desperate, sweat-covered host would do in this situation: He drafted a fan that came to watch “The Tech Guy” into the worst, most amateurish performance ever.

Just imagine: Lisa’s signature achievement was to have been her crowning glory as CEO of the TWiT network and it’s all just crumbled in her claw-like witch fingers; as the remains of a once-engaging tech network are now but dust under Leo’s fat feet.

Megan Morrone has zero self-respect, is horrible example for her children

Megan Morrone, the sad little dog-faced girl who co-hosts “iOS Today” with the fat pig Leo Laporte, has zero self-respect and his a horrible example for her children.

We dare you to watch this cringeworthy clip of Leo ogling her cleavage and then wheeze-laughing his way to an early grave without wondering why in the world Megan would continue to work there one day longer. One has to ask if the paycheck is really worth the harassment and unpleasant work environment. It can’t be, right? It’s such a shame that talented women in tech refuse to stand up for themselves and just leave these abusive situations.

Megan: Think of what your kids must think of you when you allow yourself to be abused this way. Take a moment to watch the video above two or three times—look at your face and tell us that you are happy with the direction your life has taken. Is this the way you want to be remembered…as a milquetoast sidekick to a sexual pervert?

The editorial board at TotalDrama of course wishes you well, but you really need to examine what went wrong in your life.

Wake up, Megan! You are better than this.

BREAKING: Father Robert Ballecer Announces TWiT’s “Studio C”

Father Robert Ballecer
Fr. Robert Ballecer

As we all know, TWiT has been on a huge upswing (not a sex swing) lately. We also know that they’ve been busy jamming more ads into “Know How” by taping once and then releasing individual segments over the week. And—of course—the TWiT Brick House lease is in no danger whatsoever.

So it makes sense that TWiT is expanding (into Leo Laporte’s storage shed). Father Robert Ballecer, aka Padre SJ, aka The FMCP announced last night between “Coding 101” pre-records, that TWiT is building a “Studio C” to open either in September or October. Patrick and Padre can’t seem to get their stories straight.

Watch the video along with us and try to decipher exactly what fatass Padre thinks he’s being so clever about. At one point—after spilling the beans—he implores the chatroom not to mention this as he might get fired.

Could TWiT soon broadcast from a run-down abandoned church in the woods?
Could TWiT soon broadcast from a run-down abandoned church in the woods?

Leo has already mentioned that he’s exploring the option of renting or buying an old church in Petaluma. This could be the “Studio C” = “Studio Church.” Padre would certainly burst into flames along with Leo if they really do intend on broadcasting from a decommissioned church. God doesn’t take kindly to obese gluttons who defy the word of the Lord.

One can only hope that this post is shared with Leo on his Twitter. Go head and include Padre on that Tweet as well. Let’s see if we can’t get that fat fuck into some trouble.

We look forward to Cottage 2.0 where #Soup can set up shop after he axes all of the shows that don’t involve him and he can do his shows from an attic for very little money again. If CeHO goes away, maybe TWiT can start over with a new beginning.

Update: Apparently the word is out…

Leo addresses the concerns during the pre-show to the August 29, 2015 episode of “The New Screen Savers”:

Leo Laporte Deliberately Destroys Brand New $850 Phone and Cracks a Gay Joke

He really doesn't give a shit.
Who the fuck cares? I’ve got 5 more coming tomorrow.
Leo Laporte knew about the Ars Technica story explaining that if you put your stylus in backward it will get stuck and permanently damage the phone upon removal.

He did it anyway. Big surprise right? He doesn’t give a shit because he has 6 phones on 3 carriers and CeHO “makes him” buy all the new phones. We think he destroyed an $850 phone for humor’s sake, and he says he is going to try to make AT&T replace it for him for free.

This is a man who made Chad “OMGchad” Johson drive to the studio, prepare for Giz Wiz, and perform the show, all for a meager $250 weekly. Luckily, Chad is still an off-site producer.

Castro District, an icon for the gay community, and subject of ridicule for bigot Leo Laporte.
Castro District, an icon for the gay community, and subject of ridicule for bigot Leo Laporte.
As an added bonus, the piece of shit cracks a very insensitive gay joke. It’s in the video at the top, but a shorter video is below to make sharing this particular gem easier. He says that the pen sticking out of the bottom of his phone is like “the emergency room in the Castro district“.

We’re not sure that MacBreak Weekly is the best place to joke about gay people going to the emergency room to have things removed from their anuses, but maybe Total Drama is alone in that perception.

Castro photo courtesy Franco Folini on Flickr.

Leo Laporte Gets Called Out on Triangulation for Knowing Nothing About the Guest

The video has been updated due to the great tip from commenter “Me”. Thanks to all our great community members. Be sure to give the video another watch if you watched before the update.

It’s well known that #soup no longer prepares for any show and can’t be bothered to show up on time for any of them anymore either, but he’s usually not called out on it. His obese antics caught Megan Prelinger off guard on Triangulation, however, and she expressed her surprise on the live stream.

He really doesn't give a shit.
He really doesn’t give a shit.
We really can’t believe we’re advising you to do this, but the editorial board at Total Drama encourages you to download or watch the latest Triangulation episode 214. Leo Laporte flips through the author’s book and comments on the pictures, all the way through to the works cited.

Leo “ads will never exceed one per 30 minutes” Laporte slams in three ads into a less than 51 minute episode, all the while knowing nothing about the guest or the subject and reading through the book like a young child would view a Dr. Seuss book. That’s an ad every 17 minutes (including the time it takes to read the ad). It’s a sight to behold and we encourage you watch it; the episode is more ad than content.

Unfortunately, our video content at the top of this post didn’t make it into the published episode, but we archived it for you, dear reader.

And, for what it’s worth, Megan Prelinger had no idea what she was in for and had no clue where she was. She thought she was on This Week in Science, as evidenced in now-deleted tweets.

Poor woman. Tweets have since been deleted by Megan.
Poor woman. Tweets have since been deleted by Megan.

Full Episode

Know How Could Be the Next Show On The Chopping Block

Stay still would ya
Stay still would ya
It looks like the rising bandwidth cost is quite the obstacle for TWiT and its dwindling savings. When it was reported that free video from Cachefly will be no more, we knew bad news was on the horizon. The next batch of cancellations seems to be the video shows that do not make money. That means you Padre! And it means Know-How!

Two Hour Come to Jesus meeting with the CeHO
Two hour “Come to Jesus” meeting with the CeHO

What could be the result of that long meeting? Who could want to be in a room with FMCP that long? Well it appears that the future of Know How is in jeopardy, for this was posted shortly after.

Know How Dear John Letter. Oh shit.
Know How Dear John Letter. Oh shit.

Guest SubmissionAn amazing bit of Triangulation-level-research by a contributor noticed a meeting on Leo’s calendar with Lisa and Padre in the Tea Room, the meeting was followed by a desperate plea for viewers from Padre. Remember folks, don’t trust this site, it’s made-up facts, according to Leo.

Update: Featured Commenter

“The Patrick Klepto” posted a truly genius comment that deserved to be featured in the article:

“Padre is good friends with video. They realized they were misusing video. So instead if sprinkling video throughout the network, maybe there’s a show that video would like to do. Not a show that it CAN do, but a show that specifically fits its talents and its passion.”

TWiT can no longer claim to be “family-friendly”

We must apologize. We recently learned many of our readers are intellectually challenged and are unable to distinguish the satirical articles (such as this one) from the news articles. We apologize for the contents of the comments on this article due to their disability.

TWiT can no longer claim to be “family-friendly” after a German guest, Rolf Claessen, appeared on the August 21 edition of “This Week in Law” with the absolutely, horrendously inappropriate plug for his website: ipfridays.com.

He Pees Fridays
He Pees Fridays

One can only imagine what must have been going through Rolf’s head when he declared it OK to have the TWiT staff type that website in under his name. The editorial board at TotalDrama is questioning their judgment when children are watching in the middle of the day.

We can only hope that this was allowed to happen because regular host and wig-wearing weirdo Denise Howell wasn’t there to crack the whip. She skipped this episode and thank God she did. “I Pee Fridays” is so far out in the field as to be laughable if it weren’t so obscene. Maybe there should indeed be the “right to be forgotten” because by unanimous vote of the editorial board at TotalDrama, we wish we could forget “I Pee Friday” and flush this entire TWiT enterprise down the shitter.