Leo Laporte’s Binder Full of Women

Welcome to Leo's Sexy Circle
Welcome to Leo’s Sexy Circle

Leo Laporte’s misogynistic ways are well known to regular viewers — especially live viewers — as well as Total Drama staff. Therefore, this post comes as no surprise, but we felt that we should pass along the tip that we received: Leo Laporte maintains a circle named “Sexy” on Google+, the long-abandoned and failed social network for socially inept males on the autism spectrum.

We can only assume Leo has such beauties in his circle such as:

He definitely does not have the following people in the Sexy circle:

Thanks to an anonymous tipster for the episode and timecode for this article. You can submit a tip by using our feedback link. You can join us in our chat room at any time.

There will be no police report because Father Robert Ballecer is a liar

Father Robert Ballecer is a liar. He lies about all sort of things.

Yesterday, Father Robert Ballecer, a Man of God, lied about his mother’s cellphone being stolen from a hospital. He even tweeted about it:

But we don’t have to even wonder for one second if Father Robert Ballecer is lying about this. We know he is. Do you want to know why we know that Father Robert Ballecer is lying about this? Here’s why: There will be no police report. Normally, a police report would be filed in such a case, a clear case of theft from a woman lying in a hospital. A clear cut case that would—as a matter of course—be both the domain of the hospital and local law enforcement. But instead of availing himself and his family of those services, Father Robert Ballecer chose to take to Twitter. He took to Twitter to lie; to lie about his mother’s “stolen” cellphone.

Father Robert Ballecer is a liar. There is no police report. There will never be a police report. Because at least Father Robert Ballecer knows enough to not lie to the police. But he will lie to Twitter.

Harry McCracken’s weird Filipino wife has been hired by TWiT

Marie Domingo is the mail-order bride of bizarre tech writer Harry McCracken.
Marie Domingo is the mail-order bride of bizarre tech writer Harry McCracken.

Marie Domingo, the weird Filipino mail-order bride of the pervert Harry McCracken, has been hired at TWiT. The wide-faced immigrant is now listed as a “producer” working on two shows.

The editorial board at Total Drama is highly skeptical of this “diversity hire” because it’s obvious that hardly any TWiT show is actually produced. How much production value and prep is needed when the host just waddles in late and starts hawking doorbells and mattresses?

Harry holds onto his wife so she can't escape
Harry and Marie…which one is fatter?

Although we wish Marie well, we have no faith in her abilities whatsoever. Nobody of any talent, drive or determination ends up in Petaluma—it’s too far from the successful people who live and work in San Francisco. Petaluma is where losers come to die.

The most important thing to remember during this time when TWiT is trying to fake us out with “people of color” on their staff lists, is that it has been over two years since a black woman appeared on any TWiT show; possibly due to the fact that Megan Morrone is a racist.

TNT co-host Joe Panettieri is missing in action

Joe Panettieri has been MIA from TNT for weeks now.
Joe Panettieri has been MIA from TNT for weeks now.

“Tech News Today” co-host and beloved #CokeRage, Joe Panettieri, has been dumped from the network. The AfterNines (whatever that is) founder has been MIA for weeks now.

Please join the editorial board at Total Drama in our concern that a longtime TNT contributor would just be fucking thrown out like a fucking bum with NO word from host Mike Elgan (Marc Elgum). So this is the best that they can do over there? Just use and abuse good and decent people?

Joe has been cleansed from the People pages on the official TWiT website.

DOES ANYBODY HAVE A CLUE TO WHERE HE IS?

Tweet Joe and let him know that you demand answers. Long Live #PrisonPussy (so named for his signature goatee also called a “prison pussy” in street slang for its resemblance to the hairy mouthpussy as used in penitentiaries across the country for oral entertainment between inmates).

No word yet if Joe left because of Megan Morrone’s racism.

Christina Warren looks like hell

Christine Warren looks like hell. It’s almost as if she’s completely given up on everything. AND FOR THE RECORD: This image is not some screen grab that the editorial board at Total Drama Photoshopped or otherwise doctored up to make her look this shitty. This image is from a tweet that a professional writer posted that is supposed to flatter her to promote another bizarro project she’s involved herself in.

Yikes, we can only imagine the frames that they didn’t use—gives us the creeps. Doesn’t it look like she got her hair caught in a meat grinder?

Christina Warren looks like a Social Justice Warrior that got run through a meat grinder.
Christina Warren looks like a Social Justice Warrior that got run through a meat grinder.

It’s official, TWiT is moving from their million dollar studio into a piece of shit new space yet to be determined

Well, folks. This is the beginning of the end for Leo’s vaunted “CNN of Tech.” Lisa Laporte has screamed via her Twitter account that TWiT is indeed moving out of the million-dollar Shit Twithouse. The new location is yet to be determined…but the editorial board at Total Drama is prepared to wager the new digs will be a much, much shittier place to work than the bizarro world that Leo has created for himself in downtown Petaluma.

Crazy eyes, threatening smile...we fear the worst
Lisa Laporte is proud to announce that TWiT is moving AGAIN. Why is this something to be proud of?

Odds are that they are moving to some completely lame industrial park space where potential guests will be double- and triple-checking their GPS coordinates and muttering to themselves, “Where the FUCK is this place?”

Perhaps most interesting of all will be to hear Leo’s spin on moving out of downtown, even farther away from the action of Silicon Valley and San Francisco.

Padre has been heard to already be fighting over office space wherever they end up. And I can just imagine the matching parking spots labelled “Chief TWiT” and “CEO.” Gag me already.

We’re waiting for Megan Morrone’s racist response.

TWiT Sinks to a New Low

Lard-ass of the Century, Leo Laporte is now back to begging his “fans” for money. The editorial board at Total Drama is not quite sure what to do with this outrageous and cynical grab for cash. Instead of holding his fat hand out like a common Petaluma street bum, perhaps Leo could put down the soup spoon, dump his hag wife and get on the treadmill. That’s the best way for people to support Leo:

tough love.

Send him a tweet to stop begging for money and instead spend his time producing better content. If you can spare the time, ask Megan Morrone to stop being a racist.

Becky Worley squirts herself with joy

Becky Worley caught mid-squirt.
Becky Worley caught mid-squirt.

Professional lady journalist Becky Worley—and inexplicable supposed friend of Leo Laporte—nearly squirt herself right out of the million-dollar studio recently during “Good Morning America’s” dopey 40for40 stunt (who even knows that that means) during the late-night broadcast. Luckily enough she was able to recover in time to complete the hour-long show.

Highlights from the non-event include:

  • Leo having to admit that Petaluma is in the middle of nowhere.
  • Becky referring to Leo’s netcasting empire as a “podcast.”
  • A creepy musician playing with himself.
  • No in-studio appearance by Padre the fatass fake clown priest. (Possibly the year’s greatest highlight besides DickPicGate.)
  • Becky reminding Leo that he used to be on network television shilling stupid gadgets on “Live with Regis and Kelly” made for a wonderfully sad moment.
  • Seeing OMGChad’s weird goatee; he was obviously trying to hide his unexpected weight gain that resulted in the sudden growth of his very own double chin. See for yourself.

Watching Becky produce a show so effortlessly while Leo stood by with his hands in his pockets was immensely satisfying to longtime hate-watchers. It’s almost as if having a pleasing onscreen presence, being prepared and being well-spoken (in a non-sexist way) might just be something Leo should emulate.

In an odd twist, there was zero discussion of Megan Morrone’s recent foray into racism. The editorial board at Total Drama was hoping for a wide-ranging talk about Megan Morrone being a racist. Well there’s always next week. Megan is bound to say something racist.