All posts by King Leo Laporte

Megan Morrone Consents

Update: It has come to our attention that Megan is a mom. Thank you to Jimmy Jam for the tip.

Megan Morrone is living two lives. In her private life she is an adamant supporter of women’s rights and would not put up with sexual harassment of any kind.

In fact I’m pretty sure she has participated in women’s marches holding up some poorly-spelled signs. And we know exactly what she thinks about the 45th President of the United States Donald Trump — he’s a piece of shit.

Most women in this world would adhere to one set of moral principles, but not Megan Morrone.

https://twitter.com/YourJoleen/status/971239487488647172

Megan Morrone is a walking enigma. When she arrives at work she leaves all her principles at the door. Over the years she has allowed Leo Laporte to sexually harass her on numerous occasions. Never once has she ever uttered the words “What you said is not appropriate” even though that would be a perfectly justifiable thing to say in these circumstances. When she does protest it’s always couched as a joke or expressed as a minor annoyance.

Megan Morrone continues to walk the hypocritical line between victim and enabler. She wants Leo Laporte to stop making lewd comments but then we see a sensationalist tweet from her about an IoT device humping another. She doesn’t understand that making sexual jokes like this will only further embolden Leo Laporte. Megan Morrone is a disgrace to all women and possibly retarded. How could a woman this paradoxical be responsible for shaping the minds of three children?!

Karin P. Beam, two-bit incompetent strip mall lawyer.

We at TotalDrama have spent several years meticulously documenting everything Megan Morrone,  Colleen Goldstein or any other woman working at TWiT would need to launch and successfully prevail in a sexual harassment lawsuit. Not even a two-bit incompetent strip mall lawyer would lose that case.

Megan has two options, quit and sue for sexual harassment, or continue putting up with Leo Laporte’s lascivious behavior. Either way Megan Morrone is getting fucked.

Special thanks to the chatroom member who provided the 3D VFX clip which was the inspiration for the movie trailer. TotalDrama apologizes for the length of time between posts. If you have any ideas for an article we encourage you to leave an anonymous comment below or submit a tip.

Leo Laporte: Racist for Life

Leo Laporte’s “Gradient” of Blackness (IEEE 205-2001)

In what can only be considered an early Christmas present, Leo Laporte had the opportunity to double down on racism this week when both Owen JJ Stone (Patreon link) and Ant Pruitt (Patreon link) appeared on the number one racist show on the TWiT network, This Week In Tech.

Hilton Goring could not be reached for comment

Leo Laporte has made an illustrious career of spewing casual racist remarks. If there was a Pulitzer prize for racism, Leo Laporte would have won 10 of them by now. Some of Leo’s highlights include:

Self-explanatory

Well as luck would have it, there were 2 “nigras” on Skype this week so Leo Laporte simply couldn’t resist this amazing opportunity to say more racist shit and try to pass it off as a joke. Leo Laporte’s #1 bootlicker Mike_B must have taken the night off as there seemed to be nobody trying to stop him this time. Video is above, you ungrateful bastards.

I Say Spit… You Say Semen

Leo Laporte apologizes again

Megan Morrone continues to be on the receiving end of Leo Laporte’s sick perverted mind. From the time he offered to smear shit on her face  — to the time he suggested her underage daughter should practice milking cows because it will be a “very useful skill” going forward. There was also the time he ridiculed her in front of others by commanding her to speak.

Lisa Laporte’s blind eye

We’re completely dumbfounded how this continues to happen at a company which is run by a woman who regularly champions her female employees — but then turns a blind eye to this sort of disgusting behavior.

Original working title of Russ Pitt’s e-book

The latest incident happened on last Saturday’s The New Screensavers. TechTV employee #1 (and major creeper) Russ Pitts skyped in to plug his new e-book Eagle Semen. The title must have sent Leo Laporte’s mind into a perverted spit-swallow frenzy because he proceeded to dish out more improper sexual innuendo at Megan Morrone.

Artist rendering of #twitlive coward Mike_B

Even Leo Laporte’s chief sycophant and Tech Guy chatroom braintrust Mike_B was quick to speak out saying “Leo: People record these and put them on bad web sites”.  Amazing… Mike_B chose not to admonish the behavior but instead to warn him. This guy deserves cancer.

Part of me wants to remain sympathetic to Megan Morrone. But why this woman has not consulted with an employment lawyer or simply found another job is baffling. There is literally an employment lawyer within a 3-minute walk from the shoebox studios. I hate to be the one that says this but maybe the mortgage has nothing to do with this… Megan Morrone secretly wants this to continue.

BREAKING: TWiT has lost its case against Twitter

Re-enactment of press corps reaction

We are receiving reports from the United States District Court that TWiT was unsuccessful at extorting millions of dollars from Twitter in the trademark infringement case of the century  previously covered (1) here, (2) here and (3) here.

We could not reach Leo Laporte (or Hilton Goring) for comment, but we were able to secure the following video from a random German media outlet (above).

Actual Courtroom Audio

Audio of Judge lambasting and laughing at TWiT’s lawyer

UPDATE: TotalDrama has received the official ruling below:

TWiT, LLC vs. Twitter Inc. – Case Dismissal

If you have any ideas for an article (like who Leo is frivilously suing next) we encourage you to visit our chatroom, leave an anonymous comment below or submit a tip.  A big thank you to our intrepid court reporter who was forced to listen to endless hours of TWiT pleading its case in court without being able to openly laugh his ass off.

Leo Laporte suspects people don’t like him

In a striking development it appears Leo Laporte wasn’t the most revered employee at ZDTV/TechTV after all… what the fuck?

Random TechTV janitor is upset he was not asked to send in a video tribute

During The New Screensavers “show prep”, he asked Emmy award-winning producer Jerry Wagley (wow times must be tough) how many of his ex-coworkers were contacted to submit a video tribute for the 20th Anniversary TechTV segment.

Surely the people that worked every day around this amazing man would have some good memories of those times, right?

Apart from the usual suspects who are still trapped or enslaved, and the guy who was behind operation suck TWiT dry, it was pretty much the ghost town you expected. Video is above.

The animosity towards Leo Laporte was also confirmed when nobody told him (not even his own staff!) that TechTV was throwing a 20th Anniversary party in San Francisco. How is it possible that the beloved king of TechTV was not made aware of this? The event had been advertised on Facebook which we all know Leo has quit (numerous times), but it’s completely unknown at this time why nobody mentioned this to the captain himself, the man who was at the helm of TechTV until the time it hit the proverbial iceberg.

Thank you to the chatters in our chat room for providing much of the source materials used in this article. If you have any ideas for an article we encourage you to leave an anonymous comment below or submit a tip.

Leo Laporte blames all crime on Blacks and Hispanics

Click on image for full poster. Viewer discretion is advised.

Leo Laporte has made an illustrious career of being a subtle and not-so-subtle racist from the time he couldn’t tell asians apart to the time he said all black people looked the same.

There was also that time he used a racist slur to describe Florence Ion (@Ohthatflo), not just once but twice. If there was a special league for racists, Leo Laporte would be batting a thousand and be the team MVP by now.

Petaluma demographics/crime piechart (2016 data)

But Leo Laporte isn’t happy with merely being the top racist in Petaluma (where he moved to to escape minorities) he clearly has bigger aspirations. On this past Sunday’s This Week in Tech Leo Laporte decided to show his further disdain for blacks and hispanics.

Leo Laporte seen here building energy so he can spew racist remarks.

When given the opportunity to explain why Japan has a low crime rate, he surmised it might be related to its homogeneous population and history of public shaming. An intelligent racist would have stopped there. What came from his diseased mouth next was completely disgusting, but it came as no shock to regular viewers of this network.

We’ll give Leo Laporte the benefit of the doubt that he simply “forgot” to mention that white people also commit crimes. Yeas™Leo Laporte is definitely not a racist /s.

Thank you to the user thoughtpolyp who notified us about this incident in the comment section of our last article #fistbump. If you see anything newsworthy please (1) visit our chat room, or (2) leave an anonymous comment below, or (3) submit a tip by clicking on “Feedback & Tips” to the right.

Leo Laporte mocks radio show caller

TWiT fan VIP area

It’s no secret that Leo Laporte treats his fans like absolute shit and is never grateful for their support.  Everyone remembers the bricks debacle, the time he said people in the chatroom had no lives, and the time he embarrassed them by saying they only watched the livestream because they had nothing better to do. Classy.

Typical radio show caller (probably from California)

It was only a matter of time before he set his sights on one of his callers from The Tech Guy radio show. After receiving two weird calls in a row (what are the chances?!) he decided to visually mock the third caller whose only crime was that he rambled on a bit. Leo Laporte could have been respectful and listened to the question in full. Alternatively he could have politely interrupted the caller to get him back on track.

Actor demonstrating what proper disdain looks like

But what Leo Laporte ended up doing was one of the most disrespectful things you can do to someone who can’t see you. Many of you probably remember the time he also did this to Steve Gibson on Security Now. This level of contempt is fucking shameful. Leo Laporte has completely run out his usefulness on this planet and needs to retire.

If you have any ideas for an article we encourage you to leave an anonymous comment below or submit a tip. Thanks go out to TWiT for letting us borrow Hilton Goring so he could shoot the VFX portion of the video above.

The End is Nigh for Father Robert Ballecer

If I asked you to describe the qualities of a priest most of you would say that person is kind, peaceful, understanding and an eloquent speaker of the teachings of Christ. It is also a man who is devoted to serving the Lord, and will tirelessly sacrifice himself for the sick and the poor.

Fr. Robert Ballecer (Andy Warhol-commissioned painting, circa 1987)

Of course that would be your impression until you met Father Robert Ballecer. This man can only be described as the Bizarro Superman of the ecclesiastical world. To use a food analogy (and you know it fits here) it’s what you get when you add 1 cup of corruption, 2 cups of perverted fetishes, 3 cups of dishonesty, one teaspoon of cumin and then bake at 325 degrees until it fattens up like a Butterball® turkey (absolutely no disrespect to Butterball® turkeys, those turkeys are amazing).

The man is even a joke in his own circles. On the website jesuits.org, he received nothing but a scoffed mention in the official newsletter as “the priest seen cavorting around Las Vegas again under the auspices of a ‘technology convention’”. Even fellow Jesuits see him as a clown.

On the website goodjesuitbadjesuit.blogspot.com, you can read him defending a lavish lifestyle of going on vacations and “eating” at good restaurants on the church’s dime because it serves his “emotional needs”. I haven’t read the entire bible yet but I’m pretty sure Jesus didn’t ask the Romans to stop nailing him to the fucking cross so he could have a sandwich.

Therefore it came as no surprise to this TotalDrama writer when Fr. Robert Ballecer began complaining like a petulant child about not getting his first choice of “studio” space when he moves to Rome in mid-June. That’s right… he plans to continue the act. His first choice of studio is apparently unusable because there is an ambulance station directly outside. The only other location is some moldy (possibly unhealthy) underground room not used for centuries. For a man who is extremely obese I find it ironic that he is now expressing a concern for his health. Fuck you fake priest, you’re Rome’s problem now.

Thank you to the chatters in our chat room for providing much of the source materials used in this article. If you have any ideas for an article we encourage you to leave an anonymous comment below or submit a tip.  Also a big thank you to the tireless editors, reporters and administrative staff who sacrifice their sanity every day so this trainwreck is completely documented.

Twitter’s Lawyers Are Not Fucking Around

Joseph C. Gratz, Lead Attorney for Twitter (is not fucking around here).

Twitter’s lawyers have responded to TWiT’s claim of trademark infringement and breach of contract, and while I’m not a lawyer it seems that the gist of their response was “what crappy law school did you graduate from because you dumbfucks don’t know shit about trademark law and contracts”.

Karin P. Beam, TWiT lawyer (black and white photo only because color would have cost her extra)

It should surprise no one that Leo Laporte allegedly sought out the most incompetent but cost-effective lawyer in Sonoma County to argue this case. We’re trying to find out how this relationship began — but we strongly believe some sort of “discount” was involved.

The PDF summary of the Motion To Dismiss is embedded below should you want to read what a “evidence-based” legal argument consists of.

What is clearly apparent is that this law firm did their fucking research. “They are even better at digging up past stuff than we are” remarked TotalDrama’s editor-in-chief during our 5-hour production meeting. Honestly we haven’t seen this much research and attention to detail since TotalDrama published the story of Leo showing his dick on the livestream.

Law offices of Durie Tangri, San Francisco, CA

We would like to acknowledge and salute the dozens of interns who were forced to consume every disgusting morsel of Leo Laporte’s horrid history, in order to gather enough evidence to bring down the greedy son of a bitch and defend this ridiculous legal claim. We have included a fictional re-enactment above. Thank you for your service.

Also thank you to the anonymous chatter in our chat room for providing the inspiration for this article. If you have any ideas for an article we encourage you to leave an anonymous comment below or submit a tip.

TWiT vs. Twitter: Discovery Phase

For better quality watch the video fullscreen.

When news broke that Leo Laporte was suing Twitter for breach of contract and trademark infringement, we all checked our calendars to make sure it wasn’t April 1st.

Doug Llewelyn, Jr. – San Francisco court reporter

When it became obvious that it was still mid-January, TotalDrama immediately sent our intrepid court reporter to San Francisco to monitor what would most likely be the trademark infringement case of the century.

TWiT vs. Twitter has just entered the discovery phase of the trial, and we are now getting access to some of the documents being entered into evidence. Judge Jacqueline Scott Corley (who we believe drew the shortest straw in the office) asked both sides to submit a video sample of some of the content which exemplifies their core business.

TWiT has requested a jury trial so we believe these videos will help “educate” the jurors or at least clear up the confusion that these companies are in fact not the same legal entity. Yeah

Editor’s Note: The above video is a dramatization and not real trial evidence. TotalDrama will continue to follow the trial closely and will provide material updates as they become available.