Category Archives: Misc

Leo Laporte Would Like To Remind You That He Is Still Paying For Porn

Notice: Thanks to the government paycheck protection program we were able to upgrade our 286 processor to a blazing fast 486 CPU. Our videos can now be enjoyed in 1080p. Watch fullscreen for best quality.
Jeff Brockman, drummer extraordinaire

Hello, my name is Jeff Brockman and I am a progressive rock drummer for the band CAIRO. We rank right up there with other progressive rock bands like Genesis and Pink Floyd but without the success and never going on tour. But there was this one time Deen Castronovo let me touch his drums, and back in 1989 I walked past Axl Rose at the MTV Video Awards.

Kelly Madison, Porn actress and trustee of Leo Laporte’s credit card number could not be reached for comment.

Thanks to a user tip we were alerted to the fact that Leo Laporte is still paying for porn, still completely unaware that porn is free and available everywhere. We first learned of Leo Laporte’s sick fascination with paying for porn in a previous post where he was shelling out cash to a porn-star that didn’t look a day over 15. But we’re glad, and somewhat relieved, that Leo has finally decided to lust over a whore more close in age to the one he married.

So we applaud Leo Laporte on finally outgrowing his pedophilic tendencies. That being said he might want to browse in incognito mode if he insists on jerking it at the office on a production machine.

TWiT Teams up with Scrotum Shaving Sponsor “Manscaped”

“Manscaped is fantathtic!” Louis Maresca, TWiET Emperor and aspiring Manscaped spokesman

As many of you have reported, TWiT has continued their advertising ascent, this time landing the much-coveted pubic hair and scrotum shaving company “Manscaped”.

“I am unbelievable as always, but when I’m not I use The Lawn Mover 3.0. Thank you for suhscribing!” – Ant Pruitt, TWiT.tv

This seems to be in line with previous sponsors such as Roman, the erectile dysfunction company, and current mattress sponsor Casper. So now you can ejaculate on your mattress in style with a raging boner and “manscaped” genitals.

“Before I used this product I often got a jarring reaction when I removed my black robe, but now I get no complaints!” Fr. Robert R. Ballecer SJ

Many of us had hoped TWiT’s very own fake priest Fr. Robert R. Ballecer SJ, would be the one to grace us with these ad reads, because he is hands down the most qualified to speak on the subject. But we got stuck with Leo Laporte, who often appeared unable to find the right words.

“As a registered anti-anxiety therapist in the Province of Quebec, I can assure you this product will not only reduce your stress but also fix your hideous looking balls you pathetic incel!” – Georgia Dow, Psychotherapist

We dispatched our crack research team and asked them to comb the internet for reviews of this ball trimmer. They found multiple videos suggesting “Manscaped” isn’t the best choice for shaving your pubes, but if we are to believe Artisanal Agency’s statement on how they vet their clients, we might just be wrong on this one.

In the end, the reaction from the chatroom was priceless. Many expressed dismay it had come to this, while others simply made inappropriate jokes (trolls!). There were still some obsessed arse-lickers who tried to defend this choice of sponsor, but they were clearly in the minority.

Note: The following chat log has been condensed.

<Dr_Mom_Grandma> Oh My!
<TanDanner> Wow, you did have to range afield for sponsors in this time
* @Keith512 bangs his head on the desk
<FauxPos> I look like a caveman
<Dr_Morbius> The geezers heads are exploding
<Sophia> this is fun
<+kim> OMG
<AZthmatic> Berries
<TanDanner> oh god
<Bender> Remove all hair would be terrible
<Bender> Forever itchy
<Web4466> my balls have the zz top look
<ElderWand> Oh my
<Loquaciousv2> Yea, went there
<Bender> everywhere
<DesertMoon> kim: LOL!!!! Agree!!!!
<Dr_Mom_Grandma> I’ve seen too many of those ‘accidents’ in the ER
<JeepTalkShow> I wonder if they sell that donut shaped soap
<Loquaciousv2> Just one time, clip the wrong thing....
<JerseyFudge> Leo has plunged new depths ;-)
<JeepTalkShow> ouch! that hurt hearing
<BackinPhilly> Did Lisa find this advertiser as a prank?
<EchoSeven> the tv commercial straight says 'trim your balls'
<Web9470> TWiT has been scrambling for new advertisers!
<+kim> WHO wrote this script!
<Dr_Mom_Grandma> If I gave that to my father he’d have had a meltdown
<Dr-Flay> Twit has had shaving ads for years. nothing new
<@ScooterX> Why is grooming/hygiene considered a prank?
<Web7855> "that junk"...
<OneBrian> Does it come with a little leaf blower?
<ericDuckman> matches the ED pill company
<dalepoco> need a gender-equalizing sponsor
<UserError> does it come with a gold plated spark plug wrench?
<Loquaciousv2> This was information I and nobody needed to know
<imadethat2> I think kim should have done this ad....  ha
<Dr_Mom_Grandma> Kim Leo please tell me there’s no picture copy for that ad
<Sophia> that's entertainment
<TSJim> I hope Leo doesn't do an extended Manscaped demo like he did with BREW.
<Sluggo> beats scissors
<ElderWand> There goes the G rating...
<preternat> leo no disclaimer for getting this product?
<User0072> wow...
<@Mick> Wasn't it Rowan & Martin's "Laugh In" that had that button "Whack his peepee!!!"?  We need that button for this commercial.
<ericDuckman> there's an image i'll never get out of my head

If you see anything newsworthy please (1) visit our chat room, or (2) leave an anonymous comment below, or (3) submit a tip by clicking on “Feedback & Tips” to the right. We hope everyone remains safe in their basements at this time.

Leo Laporte Explains Why TWiT Is Screwed

TWiT marketing handout (“Our listeners continue to grow”  © 2020 Artisanal Agency)

After 15 years of providing second-rate, and at often times, laughable coverage of the tech sector, it looks like TWiT is finally finished.

From one time boasting about having 14 million in annual sales, and owning 25% of all podcast revenue, Leo Laporte recently acknowledged that TWiT is screwed because sponsors now want proof that there are actual listeners, i.e. analytics that can’t be faked.

Man wins Oscar For Best Underperforming Host at a Sham Podcast Company (Video #2)

Here at TotalDrama we’ve been reporting on TWiT’s decline for years. From the elimination of certified on-air talent to the recruitment of questionable talent, Leo Laporte has continued to choose lavish vacations over investing money back into the business.

Coronavirus statement: “I will not be maligned by these disgraceful statements and slanderous accusations.”

As previously covered, sponsorship continued to decline in 2019 and now in 2020, Leo Laporte admitted on March 3rd that first and second quarter sales have plummeted, blaming this on the coronavirus. However, it is obvious to anyone who runs an agency these sponsorships would have been sold and finalized in late-2019, so you can’t blame this one on the “invisible enemy”.

However, the current pandemic has undoubtedly made things worse, and while Lisa Laporte has shamelessly been spouting “coronavirus discounts”, sponsors do not seem to be interested:

<~Leo> Lisa and her team have pursued more than 700 companies in the past few weeks, with one sale.
<~Leo> Listeners dropped off at first, but it's come back.
<~Leo> I'm not too worried about the audience, but advertisers are dropping like flies.

We will continue to watch this with pitying interest but firmly believe Leo Laporte will retire because it is the easiest thing for him to do.

Update: During today’s episode of Security Now (Apr. 21, 2020), Leo opened up further about TWiT’s current problems to his chatroom sycophants.
<Sawgrass> @Leo - another $480B just passed for small business
<~Leo> well that's good Sawgrass
<~Leo> I'm sure we'll need still more
<~Leo> we haven't had to hit our line of credit yet
<~Leo> but things aren't looking good
<~Leo> we're starting to see slow pay and no pay for advertisers, numerous others have cancelled
<Sawgrass> @Leo - still should get in line for $help
<~Leo> I really don't want to take any loans
<~Leo> I'd prefer to shut down than owe a bunch of money
<Sawgrass> @Leo - keep you staff and it becomes grant?
<~Leo> no it only becomes a grant if you don't make any money
<~Leo> and the owners can't get paid
<~Leo> I love my staff but I'm not working for free so that they can get paid
<LonnDawg> Leo, you could apply for the business loans, Trump just said that people who abused the first allocation of money, are now by his own personal words are going to pay it back, however they manipulated the system... They been caught, so the next round of funding is in play and should be available in the next few days, don't fire anybody and you can keep the money ...  I know you know all this stuff
<~Leo> we'd have to repay the loan if we made a profit or if Lisa or I took a draw
<~Leo> I love you guys but I'm not working for free for a year
<Sawgrass> @Leo - time to retire like many of us :)
<~Leo> we'll just ride it down - we're working very hard to get new advertisers who are still solvent
<~Leo> but even solvent companies aren't doing much advertising, especially on podcasts
<~Leo> as always, we'll do what we can afford to do
<LonnDawg> Leo... I don't particularly like this particular individual because he's kind of testy... In his speech, but the information he hands out has been accurate, maybe Lisa or whoever does the accounting could review some of this guy's past updates,  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GgEFrvjnQJw to me, I think there's a misunderstanding, a business owner can take a portion of the money
<~Leo> No we consulted with our CPA and it's clear that the terms were not suitable for us LonnDawg
<~Leo> We got expert advice, I promise.
<LonnDawg> ok...
<~Leo> One of the principals I've always stuck to is living within our means. We only borrowed once and that was to build the brick house and we paid it back in six months.
<~Leo> I'm not a high flyer. I'm not speculating on the future.
<~Leo> We do what we can afford.
<LonnDawg> Leo...  A electrical company I used to work for had the same principle, he pretty much paid for everything and had very little loans on the business, mostly because construction is an unpredictable ride in the economy...
<~Leo> That's why we don't carry a bunch of shows that don't pay for themselves.
<~Leo> I'm not trying to build CNN.
<~Leo> I'm not that ambitious.
<~Leo> Lisa might be, but I hold her back.
<~Leo> From day one there's always been two risks: loss of audience and loss of advertisers
<~Leo> we wouldn't survive either - and I wouldn't want to
<LonnDawg> Leo... that's interesting... Because Lisa is part salesman.... And I can see... Sometimes, they have to be held back for their own sake. :-)... Not all problems in the world can be mastered with salesmanship
<~Leo> She's much more than a sales person, she's an entrepreneur.
<~Leo> I'm just trying to do my shows in peace.
<~Leo> It's a lucky thing she came along.
<LonnDawg> yep...I know that Leo... It's not easy to put my thoughts in one sentence, she is a fantastic person with a lot of talent...
<~Leo> The day I hired her I asked her to tell me why we should do anything but the five most profitable shows.
<~Leo> she convinced me
<~Leo> but I might win in the long run - we've had a great ride. I'm very content.

Thanks go out to Jimmy Schumacher who continues to provide the majority of story leads for this website. If you see anything newsworthy please (1) visit our chat room, or (2) leave an anonymous comment below, or (3) submit a tip by clicking on “Feedback & Tips” to the right. Thanks for sticking with us through these difficult times. Stay safe trolls!

Alex Lindsay provides much-needed relief from Leo Laporte’s bragfest

TWiT Eastside Prison, Petaluma, CA.

While Leo and Lisa Laporte continue to traipse around the Middle East taking terrible pictures with expensive cameras, employees back at the Eastside Studio are dreading their return.

And it’s not because this means they will have to raise their level of performance once the bosses are back. We know for a fact that employee performance never improves at TWiT, as evidenced by watching any TWiT podcast. What employees ultimately dread is the inevitable bragfest that ensues once the world travelers return from their much-deserved vacations™.

TWiT employee referenced in adjacent paragraph

As viewers we can choose to look away or hit the mute button when Leo Laporte decides to spend 10 minutes recounting the amazing lobster dinner he had in Egypt, but if you’re dumb enough to move your family across the country to work at the pleasure of a racist, pervert and con man, your options are more limited.

TotalDrama employee “Steve” says he now feels differently about Alex Lindsay

But what this TotalDrama writer easily discovered is that people who work for TWiT can be just as braggadocios as Leo Laporte, and this is greatly troubling. Perhaps the bloviated aura from Leo’s decomposing asshole jumps from his chair into the next overweight host who sits in it, we’re not sure. Video is above.

Note: If you clicked on the video expecting to see iJustine smiling into the camera and making some aporophobic statement about how scared she is of homeless people in Los Angeles, I apologize in advance for this deception.

If you see anything newsworthy please (1) visit our chat room, or (2) leave an anonymous comment below, or (3) submit a tip by clicking on “Feedback & Tips” to the right. Epstein didn’t kill himself.

Leo Laporte Continues to Lie With Impunity

It goes without saying that Leo Laporte has made a career out of lying to people. Every day he makes completely fraudulent statements to unsuspecting companies promising them a great return on investment. Most of them eventually realize they’ve been conned and stop advertising but only after incurring substantial losses. This “fuck you, you are just a means to an end” mentality even makes it way into guest interviews.

Yan Zhu, aka “bcrypt” is the latest to be deceived by the shyster Leo Laporte

The latest victim of Leo Laporte’s disgusting superiority complex is Yan Zhu, CISO of Brave Software. Despite numerous tweets directed at Brave Software, it looks like a few Twitter heroes were unable to stop this interview from happening.

Brave is a web browser which runs on Chromium and is deeply centered on privacy. But times must be tough for Brave Software, Inc. because they continue to be completely insignificant in terms of market share even after 4 years in the game. So with their initial capital investment running out, it looks they are desperate to get more users. Brave’s CEO is disgraced Mozilla co-founder Brendan Eich, who also created the much-maligned programming language JavaScript.

The video above demonstrates the deceitful Leo Laporte at his finest. We also received other evidence (thank you readers) that suggests Leo Laporte doesn’t even have the Brave browser installed. Furthermore, the confusion that ensued from the shutins because of these contradictory statements is absolutely hilarious.

<TokyoTony> Leo: Why did you switch from Brave?
<TwistedMister> cailloux: Ting. They start at $6 for 500Mb and you pay for what you use. They used to be Sprint (which minimized usage due to no coverage) but now use T-Mo.
<Mike_B> leo: Does the Nest doorbell have a decent MacOS app?
<PcGuy8088_lt> I had tried Idrive backup for a year. I did not renew
<cailloux> thanks, twistedmister
<TokyoTony> Leo: I switched TO Brave and then next thing I know is you went to FireFox.
<TokyoTony> Mike_B: You use a web browser for Mac

If you see anything newsworthy please (1) visit our chat room, or (2) leave an anonymous comment below, or (3) submit a tip by clicking on “Feedback & Tips” to the right.

TWiT Breaks California Labor Laws By Forcing Ant Pruitt To Work For Free

Picture of man enslaved in chains – © 2019 Misaka/TWiT Social Media

On December 6, 1865, the 13th amendment abolished slavery in the United States — but it appears that Leo and Lisa Laporte didn’t get the memo because slavery appears to be alive and thriving in modern-day Petaluma.

“You guys want me back yet?” – TWiT ex-employee Megan Morrone trolling us hard

We  recently reported on the purchase of Anthony “Ant” Pruitt for the eastside plantation. Ant was acquired to bring new and amazing content to the TWiT network, but judging from his recent show performances, the only thing he will be bringing to TWiT is Megan Morrone’s robotic head nod.

TWiT’s legal counsel Denise Howell could not be reached for comment

Under California labor law it is illegal to make an employee work off-the-clock, even if that work is voluntary. Furthermore it is illegal to not pay prospective employees for time spent in a new hire orientation. Here at TotalDrama we have no confidence that Ant Pruitt will ever pursue this with the California Labor Board because anyone who would move their family across the country to work at TWiT has to be absolutely retarded to begin with.

Thank you to the eagle-eyed viewer in the chatroom who provided this scoop. We appreciate your unhealthy obsession with TWiT and its collection of misfits. The editorial team at TotalDrama would like to take you out for a beer the next time you are in town.

If you see anything newsworthy please (1) visit our chat room, or (2) leave an anonymous comment below, or (3) submit a tip by clicking on “Feedback & Tips” to the right.

Ant Pruitt’s Employment Will Save TWiT Thousands of Dollars

Ant Pruitt, “Former Technology Professional”

Note: This is an update to the story posted yesterday when we broke the news hours ahead of the official announcement. Thank you to our investigative journalist in the chatroom who provided the scoop.

If there’s one thing Leo and Lisa Laporte know how to do, it is how to hire people down on their luck.

Mikah Sargent coming to you from his “office”

Last month they hired Mikah Sargent, a struggling podcaster/tech reporter from St. Joseph, Missouri, who like many millennials, simply worked from their bedrooms hoping to land a real job some day. Mikah took over for the outgoing/incompetent Megan Morrone, who we reported on last month.

However, the great philanthropists Leo and Lisa Laporte weren’t done yet. The next person to be “gifted” a job at TWiT was none other than Anthony “Ant” Pruitt, literally the guy who was on call if another Skype guest canceled. He met all the prerequisites for working at TWiT: a struggling YouTuber and Patreon beggar, ineffectual, desperate, and easily exploitable on salary.

Ant seemed to be playing along because he did his best to suck up to TWiT whenever possible. He was regularly on Lisa Laporte’s social media, liking every post, and constantly stroking her ego by leaving a comment. Perhaps in Lisa’s mind he had already proven his loyalty/worthiness?

“You opened the Louis XIII for who?”

Anyway, in an event that can only be described as a miserable spectacle, the entire Pruitt family was flown in on Sunday so it could be announced live “on air” that Ant Pruitt would be joining the TWiT family. They even brought out the bottle of Louis XIII, normally reserved for luminaries such as John C. Dvorak. The post-show was filled with Lisa Laporte’s grandstanding — literally asking each family member “has it sunk in yet?” making it sound like they just won the fucking lottery.

We scoped out Ant’s YouTube channel and found the video above for your consideration. It looks like TWiT snagged a good one this time!

If you see anything newsworthy please (1) visit our chat room, or (2) leave an anonymous comment below, or (3) submit a tip by clicking on “Feedback & Tips” to the right.

Leo Laporte & Steve Gibson Gawk at “Starbuck” Photos

Guest Submission“Fake Alex Lindsay” created this video and post for us and plans to create more in the future. We appreciate his creativity. If you feel creatively inclined, contact us to discuss how we can collaborate, and feel free to chat with us in our IRC.


We all know Leo loves to be dominated by his lovely wife and CEHo Lisa.

Leo Laporte the KING of sexism is at it again this time with the help of none other than Steve Gibson.

Gibson remarks “All I see is buff women, I’m not sure what the plot line is” with a chuckle.

Leo immediately interrupts Gibson and says “SOUNDS LIKE MY KIND OF SHOW.”

But the icing on the cake is when he decided back in 2016 to make a sex joke about Megan’s daughter. Yes he found that line and crossed it.

Hilton A. Goring could not be reached for comment.

Vascularity, in bodybuilding, is the condition of having many highly-visible, prominent, and often extensively-ramified superficial veins. The skin appears “thin” — sometimes virtually diaphanous — due to an extreme reduction of subcutaneous fat, allowing for maximum muscle definition.

Goodbye, Megan

Update: Megan tweeted she landed a job at Medium starting next week. If you’re not familiar with Medium they suffered massive layoffs 2 years ago because they couldn’t pay their writers. A quick look at the Medium job board shows they currently have dozens of positions still available. Maybe there is still hope for Jason Howell?
Feel free to watch the video fullscreen (at your own risk).
Leo Laporte will be sad to see Megan go, but will love to watch her leave

We honestly never thought this day would come…. Megan Morrone is finally gone, stating she was tired of being in front of the camera. We were tired too, Megan. TotalDrama sincerely apologizes there hasn’t been more site updates but TWiT has taken its toll on this editorial team. And it appears we weren’t the only ones.

Following a fairly uneventful few months at TWiT we learned that another employee decided to pack up his things and leave the TWiT Eastside Studios, otherwise known as the Shoebox of Despair.

Alex Gumpel wasted 8 years of his life

In early-June, 70’s-time traveler Alex Gumpel finally called it quits after surviving 8 years of listening to Leo Laporte drone on about vacations and material possessions, while at the same time listening to him sexually harass anyone without a penis. We wish Alex all the best at his new job at KOMO-TV. He will finally get to flex his “engineering” muscles at a real TV station.

But what can we say about Megan Morrone that hasn’t been already editorialized ad nauseam? The people who love her will say it was her time to move on to greener pastures. Others will say she spent 4 long years meticulously planning her escape from TWiT. But who are we kidding? She was fucking retarded and knew absolutely nothing about technology.

Goodbye, Megan… the only thing we’ll miss are your gigantic mammaries. Video tribute is at the top for all you assholes who still enjoy real content.

If you see anything newsworthy please (1) visit our chat room, or (2) leave an anonymous comment below, or (3) submit a tip by clicking on “Feedback & Tips” to the right.

Please note: TotalDrama has hired a new writer and more stories will be coming shortly.

K-Pop Video Confirms TWiT’s Irrelevance on YouTube

For better quality watch the video fullscreen.
This man still uncertain who Leo Laporte is or  TWiT.tv for that matter

We know most of you guys want TWiT to die, but for the record we find your schadenfroh attitudes absolutely deplorable. Here at TotalDrama we remain deeply saddened by the indications that Leo Laporte and TWiT continue to fall into absolute obscurity.

In a previous post we reported that Leo Laporte’s relevance had steadily declined across the years. And at the beginning of this year we witnessed the exodus of 40% of all sponsors. Right now TWiT is looking nearly as dead as a doornail, but the following #twitlive chat log did catch our interest:

<Truckee> Leo In a YouTube Search for TWIT in browser or AppleTV the real TWIT is 2nd or 3rd after Asian girlie sites of some sort. I haven't clicked on them!
<Tenspeed> Mr.. Wilkenson... I was wondering if you could talk about some speakers called Violet3d. Have you heard of them? Thank you for your wisdom and info.
<Titus> Salut...Bonjour à tout le monde.
<@ScooterX> PGMex: skypeout, Google Voice
<Maverik56> Best Buy is selling the LG Oled B Series at $1,109. And C8 At $1,359. And finally the E8 Series At $1,629. All 55 in Oled tv’s
<Chumly> was just looking at that E8 ad, but not sure what it really offers over the C8
<@ScooterX> Truckee: "Twit Live"
<Truckee> ScooterX just ant TWIT company to know.
<Truckee> ScooterX try it you'll see.
<ericDuckman> i'll settle for a D8
<@ScooterX> Truckee: I am aware
We apologize that we could not find a better picture of “Truckee”

We understand that the average #twitlive user is completely retarded, but if “Truckee” had bothered to click on that girlie video he would have watched something one million times better than anything on TWiT.

Hot Asian angels

It took this TotalDrama writer a month and several boxes of kleenex to determine that the video skewing YouTube’s search results was from Korean pop singer Hwasa (화사). Unlike Leo Laporte we can tell the difference between Asian people.

It appears that “twit” is also the word Koreans use to describe an absolute idiot. Go figure. We hard-coded the YouTube captions into the video for you sons-of-bitches. Enjoy.

If you see anything newsworthy please (1) visit our chat room, or (2) leave an anonymous comment below, or (3) submit a tip by clicking on “Feedback & Tips” to the right.