Monthly Archives: August 2019

Misc

TWiT Breaks California Labor Laws By Forcing Ant Pruitt To Work For Free

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Picture of man enslaved in chains – © 2019 Misaka/TWiT Social Media

On December 6, 1865, the 13th amendment abolished slavery in the United States — but it appears that Leo and Lisa Laporte didn’t get the memo because slavery appears to be alive and thriving in modern-day Petaluma.

“You guys want me back yet?” – TWiT ex-employee Megan Morrone trolling us hard

We  recently reported on the purchase of Anthony “Ant” Pruitt for the eastside plantation. Ant was acquired to bring new and amazing content to the TWiT network, but judging from his recent show performances, the only thing he will be bringing to TWiT is Megan Morrone’s robotic head nod.

TWiT’s legal counsel Denise Howell could not be reached for comment

Under California labor law it is illegal to make an employee work off-the-clock, even if that work is voluntary. Furthermore it is illegal to not pay prospective employees for time spent in a new hire orientation. Here at TotalDrama we have no confidence that Ant Pruitt will ever pursue this with the California Labor Board because anyone who would move their family across the country to work at TWiT has to be absolutely retarded to begin with.

Thank you to the eagle-eyed viewer in the chatroom who provided this scoop. We appreciate your unhealthy obsession with TWiT and its collection of misfits. The editorial team at TotalDrama would like to take you out for a beer the next time you are in town.

If you see anything newsworthy please (1) visit our chat room, or (2) leave an anonymous comment below, or (3) submit a tip by clicking on “Feedback & Tips” to the right.

Misc

Ant Pruitt’s Employment Will Save TWiT Thousands of Dollars

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Ant Pruitt, “Former Technology Professional”

Note: This is an update to the story posted yesterday when we broke the news hours ahead of the official announcement. Thank you to our investigative journalist in the chatroom who provided the scoop.

If there’s one thing Leo and Lisa Laporte know how to do, it is how to hire people down on their luck.

Mikah Sargent coming to you from his “office”

Last month they hired Mikah Sargent, a struggling podcaster/tech reporter from St. Joseph, Missouri, who like many millennials, simply worked from their bedrooms hoping to land a real job some day. Mikah took over for the outgoing/incompetent Megan Morrone, who we reported on last month.

However, the great philanthropists Leo and Lisa Laporte weren’t done yet. The next person to be “gifted” a job at TWiT was none other than Anthony “Ant” Pruitt, literally the guy who was on call if another Skype guest canceled. He met all the prerequisites for working at TWiT: a struggling YouTuber and Patreon beggar, ineffectual, desperate, and easily exploitable on salary.

Ant seemed to be playing along because he did his best to suck up to TWiT whenever possible. He was regularly on Lisa Laporte’s social media, liking every post, and constantly stroking her ego by leaving a comment. Perhaps in Lisa’s mind he had already proven his loyalty/worthiness?

“You opened the Louis XIII for who?”

Anyway, in an event that can only be described as a miserable spectacle, the entire Pruitt family was flown in on Sunday so it could be announced live “on air” that Ant Pruitt would be joining the TWiT family. They even brought out the bottle of Louis XIII, normally reserved for luminaries such as John C. Dvorak. The post-show was filled with Lisa Laporte’s grandstanding — literally asking each family member “has it sunk in yet?” making it sound like they just won the fucking lottery.

We scoped out Ant’s YouTube channel and found the video above for your consideration. It looks like TWiT snagged a good one this time!

If you see anything newsworthy please (1) visit our chat room, or (2) leave an anonymous comment below, or (3) submit a tip by clicking on “Feedback & Tips” to the right.