Entitled Lisa Laporte Rages on Twitter Regarding Luxury Cruise’s Food

It was recently pointed out to us that Lisa is too stupid to even spell the word “Caribbean” and has been tweeting her displeasure at a fake account instead of the real one.

Pricing for the same ship during next year's New Year's Eve cruise.
Pricing for the same ship during next year’s New Year’s Eve cruise.
Lisa Kentzell Laporte — who you may remember is the CeHO of an operation called TWiT — is on a luxury cruise this week.

However, the included food is not to her liking, so she’s either trying to make Royal Caribbean as miserable as a TWiT viewer or she’s trying to get a free cruise.

We’re not sure, but we wonder if Lisa has committed libel against Royal Caribbean when she labeled their food “rancid”.

Libel Definition

noun

  1. Law.
    1. defamation by written or printed words, pictures, or in any form other than by spoken words or gestures.
    2. the act or crime of publishing it.
    3. a formal written declaration or statement, as one containing the allegations of a plaintiff or the grounds of a charge.
  2. anything that is defamatory or that maliciously or damagingly misrepresents.

Rancid Definition

adjective

  1. having a rank, unpleasant, stale smell or taste, as through decomposition, especially of fats or oils: rancid butter.
  2. (of an odor or taste) rank, unpleasant, and stale: a rancid smell.
  3. offensive or nasty; disagreeable.

She might be able to get off on number three by saying it’s subjective, but you can be the judge if this is the way a CeHO should handle her business onboard a ship while inhabiting a luxury two-story cabin with high speed internet access in the middle of the ocean.

Take a look at this shit.

lisa-cruise-complaints-1-accented

Thankfully she got Daddy to take her to an expensive upcharge restaurant on-board to get some Chef Boyardee which was more to her liking.

lisa-cruise-complaints-2

TWiT’s CEO Lies in Bed Naked While TWiT Burns

yea, no.
Prior to boxing day was Leo distracted unboxing the CEO’s box before being distracted unboxing the boxes he unboxes?
Does Lisa Kentzell Laporte still want to be CEO of TWiT?

Why is the CEO of a multi-million dollar company not at work at 11:00 AM on Wednesday morning? She was home naked according to Leo, possibly still in a sex swing.

Leo proudly proclaimed her nakedness with a chuckle upon entering the TWiT studios late — as usual — for his Windows Weekly taping.

Is it appropriate for management to tell employees that the CEO is home naked? Is it sexual harassment to do so? Is revealing private matters like this demeaning and a betrayal of Lisa’s privacy and dignity?

TWiT’s Sad Slide Toward the Green Screen

Possible shooting location for TWiT
Possible shooting location for TWiT
It’s been widely reported that Leo Laporte is losing his million-dollar studio to a bar and brewery. Unable to cover the losses from Alex Lindsay’s Pixelcorps leaving their space ($10,000 per month), multiple cost-cutting measures have been implemented, such as the unceremonious firing of Mike Elgan and the cancelling of many shows, including those of possibly-racist Megan Morrone.

Expect more of this
Expect more of this.
During the latest TWiG’s preshow, Leo explains how he and Lisa are going to drop video from new shows — plus possibly dropping it from existing shows — as he’s threatened many times before. Leo Laporte goes on to explain that he has instructed John (JammerB) to film the studio for hours at a time during all times of the day so that he can downsize the TWiT operation to a sad green screen chroma key.

Pricing for the same ship during next year's New Year's Eve cruise.
Pricing for the same ship during next year’s New Year’s Eve cruise.
Will this be enough to pay for more two-story suites on cruise ships that cost $20,000+ per week (360 video)?

Will Leo have to force EffenDumb to drive for Uber in his down time to make up the slack?

Will Carly have to — God, we don’t want to even imagine. Hopefully TWiT lands on its beetus-ridden feet soon.

State of the Drama Address

Here’s an open letter to all of you TWiT fans.

I am a big fan of TWiT. I have respect for Leo’s talent, and his intellect. I appreciate having a network trying to deliver tech content.

But as a reasonable human being, it was not too hard to see before my eyes the character flaws, and the mistreatment of others by Leo and Lisa.

Erik Lanigan. RIP.
Erik Lanigan. RIP.
It started with Erik Lanigan. A young kid who had all of his hopes and dreams crushed. When I saw that the fans wanted more of Erik, and more support for his show, and it was denied for no good reason other than Leo’s ego that was the beginning. Erik was one of the most interesting passionate guys I have seen at TWiT. Leo always said he didn’t want it to be the Leo network, but as soon as someone is good enough he snubs them.

Erik was terribly mistreated and it is documented well. His career and self-esteem was crushed.

Leo’s personal business is his own. But as his personal issues started affecting the quality of his product then it became our business too. It became our disappointment. It became our loss.

Typical.
Typical.
We have seen the pattern of Leo using people, discarding them. We have seen Leo’s eating problems. We have seen him bring his relationship into the business. The sexual blue humor. The talking behind peoples backs. His extreme narcissism. We have seen many people leave. We have seen many poor “off the cuff” decisions.

TWiT is a lazy operation. The content stealing, the lack of imagination. The constant ads, and the lack of any feedback or support on their site. These things are all appalling and a spit in our face.

We are the people who were kicked out of the chat room for speaking up. Left with no place to go, we found TotalDrama.

I don’t speak for all of us, but most of us in the #drama chatroom are here to still watch, but have a community where we can air our grievances amongst ourselves, and have a some fun. For many of us, it is the most community we have around TWiT, since there is no other way to give the network feedback.

But we are here having fun, keeping it to ourselves. We don’t intend to hurt or troll anyone.

Lisa Kentzell Laporte, TWiT CeHO
Lisa Kentzell Laporte, TWiT CeHO
Lisa as CEO has not improved anything for the fans of TWiT. I call on any of you to tell me what is better today? For all that money spent, what is better for us?

TWiT is supposed to be netcasts you love from people you trust. I used to trust TWiT, and I used to love their product. Today I do not trust them, and I do not love their product.

TWiT used to have a certain character. The shows were centered around people. Smart, interesting people. If you look at all of the artwork for the shows back in 2010, they all had images of people on them.

Either Leo doesn’t care, or he is intentionally milking this cash cow. I don’t blame him for trying to be successful and make money. But if you have to spoil the product to do it, then that makes you a ripoff artist.

I call on Leo to FIRE Lisa as CEO. Let her run sales, and financial. But keep her out of the content.

I call on Leo to make TWiT about the people again. Not using people.

I call on Leo to re-invigorate the energy of making a great network again. With imagination, and vigor, create something worthy and great and you will make lots of money.

I call on Leo to let us submit our feedback in a respectful manner, and consider it.

Leo if you can not make money in a respectful way, then do not expect respect from us.

Merry Christmas from Total Drama

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays! Look at this fat fuck and his skanky wife. Yech!

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays from your friends at the editorial board at Total Drama!

We’re not sure yet what the schedule of posts will be in the coming days, but we wanted to leave you with this beautiful reminder of the love between a fatass diabetes patient and his bitch bride, the home-wrecking cunt of a nightmare: the ever-amazing Leo ‘n’ Lisa Laporte.

May their shitty personalities forever light your world in the New Year and beyond.

Leo Laporte Completes Certificate Program

Leo Laporte has received the coveted Certificate of Drama
Leo Laporte has received the coveted Certificate of Drama.

Leo Laporte — fat monster disguised as a podcast host — has been awarded the Certificate of Drama. He is now certified in opening Amazon boxes full of junk, his only apparent exercise.

According to reports, Leo will continue trying to fill that hole in his heart — left by Sarah and Jennifer — with more crap and cruises.

We congratulate Leo Laporte on earning this certificate. Great going, Leo!

Passive-aggressive mean girl Denise Howell forced to wear TWiT fez

Denise Howell wears that ugly TWiT fez over her wig.
Denise Howell wears that ugly TWiT fez over her wig.

Legendary bitchy TWiT contributor Denise Howell (hostess of “This Week in Law”) has been sent a year-end “bonus” by Leo ’n’ Lisa: The ugly TWiT fez. Denise was forced to wear the gift that is essentially just a branding opportunity for the shitty TWiT company disguised as something nice for the hosts. (Total Drama tried for nearly 14 minutes to get a better screen capture than the one above, but Denise kept fluttering her eyes like a French whore so often, that it was impossible to get a more flattering pose.)

Wearing zero makeup with a dirty sweatshirt sitting in her outdated middle-class kitchen at home, Denise Howell appears uncomfortable and barely able to contain the subtext of rage that bubbles under the surface as she wears the ugly hat over her wig.

Hey, Denise: Next time you decide to bring out that ice-cold bitch stare, make sure that you actually have some real-world work experience to back up that rude attitude. Nobody wants to hire an attorney who doesn’t even have a real office.

Father Robert Ballecer thinks that raping women is funny

Father Robert Ballecer, Man of God
Fr. Robert Ballecer, Man of God

Just in time for Christmas, this delightful video comes to light of Jesuit priest (and supposed man of God) Father Robert Ballecer laughing at rape jokes about women—in particular the “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” song. Watch the video to see just how far the Fat Mexican Clown Priest takes this concept and gleefully chuckles at the real-life horror that millions of women worldwide have suffered throughout the centuries.

The editorial board at Total Drama does not think rape is funny and only shares this with you so that you may know the true depths to which Father Robert Ballecer has sunk. It’s one thing for the fatass Leo Laporte to lie down with pigs, but it’s entirely inappropriate and disgusting for a Jesuit priest who lives with children to deal in this type of filth. This video is provided as a public service in case any of our readers would like to reach out to the Jesuits and see if Father Robert Ballecer can be fired for his lighthearted attitude toward rape or at the very least prevent him from ever being near children again.

TWiT Puts Four Shows Out of Their Misery

Hot on the heels of firing Mike Elgan, Lisa Kentzell Laporte, CeHO of the TWiT TV Network is cancelling four shows effective almost immediately.

I'm the new News Director.
I’m the new News Director.
Possibly racist Megan Morrone will no longer have to do two redundant newscasts a day. Instead, Tech News Today with Jason and Megan will move to TN2’s 4PM timeslot and TN2 — the show created because Sarah Lane hated Mike Elgan — will die.

Coding 101, home of the liar and fake coder Father Robert Ballecer — which used to feature the fat sack of shit pretending to program and failing to be able to use GitHub — will no longer be on the air after December 21, 2015. Lou is out of a job, except that Lisa claims he will be sprinkled around on other shows, just like Shannon Morse, Justin Robert Young, and Chad Johnson. Does that make Lou an offsite producer now?

IRS don't got shit on me
IRS don’t got shit on me.
Before You Buy, the show Leo uses to execute his questionable IRS tax evasion maneuvers — purchasing toys as business expenses — will end December 18, 2015. Instead, these questionable business expenses will appear on every fucking show just like they do now. Leo will continue to say “Look what I just bought before my next cruise, you poors” on every show he hosts, so the IRS should still be OK with this.

Megan does not look like this.
Megan does not look like this.
iFive, the show that people only watched to see the beautiful Sarah Lane deliver snarky quips about new apps and tips for iOS, is DOA as of today, December 16, 2015. iFive was handed over to Megan Morrone — did you know she’s a mommy? — when Sarah Lane left for greener pastures, but nobody wants to listen to Megan and they certainly don’t want to see her. iFive’s success under Sarah even spawned a copycat show “Android App Arena” hosted by Jason. We don’t yet know if this show will meet the axe in 2016.

We find it hard to believe that CeHO is cancelling shows with active ads. How will the money collector pay for his next cruise? We certainly hope they will not take the unethical step of pointing the RSS feeds for the failed shows to active shows in order to fraudulently get downloads from prior subscribers. We will report if this happens.

Father Robert Ballecer
Fr. Robert Ballecer
Father Robert Ballecer — aka FMCP — will be expanding not only his massive gut, but also his show Know How, to two days. One show will be released Monday but recorded out of view of the public. The traditional Thursday live show will continue.

Hey dummy, wanna help me fill time before a bed sheet ad?
Hey dummy, wanna help me fill time before a bed sheet ad?
TWiT claims they will be covering many “marquee tech events” such as CES, Developerweek, Mobile World Congress, SXSW, and “more.” However, TWiT’s full-time hosting staff consists of Leo plus Megan and Jason, so we’re not sure who’s going to do that. We assume they’ll send out the fat priest to jiggle his neck and grin into the camera.

Possibly, TWiT may have actual professionals like Scott Johnson jam a TWiT-branded microphone into people’s faces, pretending to represent the advertising machine masquerading as a technology podcasting network.

Leo Laporte Jiggles His Jingle Balls

Father Robert Ballecer
Fr. Robert Ballecer
Thanks to Father Robert Ballecer, we have a video for you to enjoy of Leo Laporte shaking his stacked tits, gut, and balls (in order of top to bottom). We weren’t expecting this early Christmas gift from the TWiT TV Network, but here it is. Thanks to Leo and Lisa for letting us do this blog.

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