John Slanina leaks TWiT’s new secret show “Hands on Tech”

John Slanina, TWiT "Engineer"
John Slanina, TWiT “Engineer”

Proving there are no limits to his incompetence, John Slanina (aka JammerB, aka Table Rotation Artist, Studio ‘A’) demonstrated again on Saturday why TWiT still has the worst engineering team in the business.

If you have been following CEO Lisa Laporte’s Inside TWiT posts you would have read that TWiT plans to release a new show in early 2019 to pacify the dozens of fans who were upset with the cancellation of Know How, The New Screensavers, and This Week in Law.

While Lisa Laporte has stated that this show will incorporate reused content(™) from previous shows, more specific details about the new show has otherwise been sparse. Although one of our tipsters did find a few more ramblings on Google+

Video of the big reveal is above. At this time we believe JammerB purposely leaked the contents of his GMail Inbox simply to get TotalDrama to ramp up excitement for this upcoming show. You may be an incompetent engineer but you’re a fucking PR genius.

Thank you to the anonymous chatroom member who tipped us off to this story. If you see anything else newsworthy please (1) visit our chat room, or (2) leave an anonymous comment below, or (3) submit a tip by clicking on “Feedback & Tips” to the right.

Click on picture to see JammerB’s leaked GMail Inbox.

60 thoughts on “John Slanina leaks TWiT’s new secret show “Hands on Tech””

  1. Hands On Tech, so Lisa will be lubing up her hands with european butter and Leo’s taint drippings, and slowly jerking off a futuristic triple headed dildo with an Oled display, showing off its Cortana abilitys by putting it in her mouth?

    You fine folks in the shithouse 2.0 keep trying, the public doesn’t care anymore about twit. Your running out of show to axe and people to fire – who and whats next?

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      1. Without Totaldrama.net my total web. Presence would be down to zero. Even the Mayor of Petaluma thinks that we would have been better off moving to a slum in Los Angeles rather than continue to be a negative impact on tourism to Petaluma.

        I was shocked, “l’m a celebrity” I told him. He just laughed in my face and said “you’re a joke”, I had our security guard dispatch him out the door of the Eastside Studio for that insult. Now I wonder if the Mayor of Petaluma is not the nemesis that has haunted me for years online.

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    1. Jeff:
      How is Hands on Tech (HOT) different than BYB or KH?

      Call me crazy, but I actually liked BYB. I thought it was nicely produced, and generally well-packaged reviews. Leo’s were generally the most insufferable, but even then I thought the reviews were pretty solid. I miss that show. I know that every tech channel on YouTube does reviews, but there’s something to be said for a sort of long form Fresh Gear-style show where you can just sit back and watch people review cool products instead of just looking reviews for specific things that you might want to buy.

      I miss that era of TWiT, honestly. You had Tom’s TNT (I still love that set! It was simple. I loved the T-shape of those gorgeous tables. Tom’s bookcase background. And a great panel of hosts that genuinely liked each other and seemed into the job). The original Know How before it became Priest Plays with Drones. Game On wasn’t my cup of tea (I’m not a gamer), but I liked the energy it had. Same with OMGCraft.

      I just liked that they were actually putting effort into producing new shows instead of just having a bunch of talking heads around Leo’s dining room table. It was an exciting time to be a fan.

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    2. Jeff:
      How is Hands on Tech (HOT) different than BYB or KH?

      The NAME is different. New. Innovative!
      New new new new. The buzzword for 2019. Throw out the old and do new. “New things. Turn us on.” Old TechTV slogan we can probably steal.

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  2. Lol at “strictly confidential”.

    Is she worried that a leak would reduce the massive impact this would have had in media and social media when they dropped the bomb?

    Or maybe that a competitor would copy what the biggest losers in the industry are up to?

    Or did she want the option of cancelling the show before it was even announced?

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  3. Hands on Tech? Where did he screw that up. It’s “Hands On Dick”!

    Keep trying to explain to him that he needs to read the damn memo’s, memorize them then eat the memo followed by keeping his mouth shut.

    Oh well, at least he got the title of the show wrong.

    Trouble is now I have to find enough interns willing to put their hands on my dick. We have a lot of guests lined up that I hope will do it to.

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  4. This “Hands on Tech” show will be Henry’s transition from ace account rep to the future “theeeee tech boy”. Hopefully his run won’t end as Erik’s did… It’d give Jennifer another law suit against ex Leo and the gold digger Lisa.

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    1. Jibbering Jeff Jarvis:
      Any truth to the rumour that PIJJ and Hilton E Goring are putting together a management buyout to make TWIT great again?

      Not in the slightest, the Catholic Church and the good Friar Father Robert have shown a lot of interest but it is a requirement that I switch from female interns to Choirboys for everything.

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      1. So, it looks like Hands on Tech is just a rebranded Before You Buy. They’re even using the old BYB youtube channel so they can keep those subs: https://www.youtube.com/user/TWiTBeforeYouBuy/videos

        Even the announcement post reeks of laziness. They’re not holding themselves to a schedule. Which means this will be a lazily produced “show,” and problem just repackaged segments from other shows where they talk about products.

        The focus is on the tech, not the calendar, so the publishing schedule is different than our other shows. The plan is to release a show anytime we get our hands on a new piece of gear. Some weeks you may get multiple episodes as we feel this is the best way to keep you up to date with the most current technology.

        The focus is on the tech, not the calendar, so the publishing schedule is different than our other shows. The plan is to release a show anytime we get our hands on a new piece of gear. Some weeks you may get multiple episodes as we feel this is the best way to keep you up to date with the most current technology.

        There are tons of youtube channels that do this. What TWiT does (or did) better than those is long-form. I know long-form doesn’t do as well, but they could have done well with a niche, long-form show like BYB used to be or Fresh Gear on TechTV. It’s a shame, really. This will just be a poor knock off of what Marques Brownlee and those types of people do.
        https://twit.tv/posts/inside-twit/new-show-hands-tech

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  5. On Saturday’s TTG guy he was going to start lording over everyone about how he saw Lady Gaga in Vegas, until his call screener told him she actually met Gaga before she was famous and even got a follow-back from her on Twitter.

    No mention of Gaga since. It’s the little things…

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    1. Bud Knight:
      On Saturday’s TTG guy he was going to start lording over everyone about how he saw Lady Gaga in Vegas, until his call screener told him she actually met Gaga before she was famous and even got a follow-back from her on Twitter.

      No mention of Gaga since. It’s the little things…

      The Phone Angel is now the Phone Devil and will be terminated shortly. Leo will fill the hole with son Henry the ace account rep.

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  6. The evil Lisa( I’m going to show my fit ass) Laporte has hijacked the Before you Buy twit YouTube channel for promoting the new HOT recorded not before live victims tech show . She will slowly kill off all the remaining live recorded twit shows and transition to a green screen production company and kill off that pesky chat room, the source of many many ills.

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  7. Anyone see a phony, bloated sub count for the new show? Almost 50K subs in 2 days, beating all the rest thats been on for years? https://www.youtube.com/user/twit

    And scroll down and look them ass bursting view counts. Speaking of, lets look at total views of full episodes of mac book yearly. This must be the views Leo talks about being in the 3-4-500K range. https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7DLT1zdSVGvnW11y4kqDng
    Sponsors must be tickled me elmo’d, must be why more and more are bailing. Fuck off.

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      1. There’s still something dodgy there – even TWIT weekly itself only has 32,000 subscribers. How can a show that wasn’t even good enough to stay on the air have 50,000?

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  8. Excited to announce SpinRite 6 Service Pack 1. The same great features you love, now with Windows 2000 compatibility and support for hard drives over 8GB.

    Makes a great Valentine’s Day Gift!

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    1. Ha! You got me excited and I checked grc.com. I can’t find any indication 6.1 is out. But plenty about developing it. For six years! And it’s been 15 years since v6 came out. But he’s talking about 6.1, 6.2, 6.3, v7, and other programs. But probably still after SQRL, which has been under development for six years. Apparently the keto-diet will let you live to at least 127 (at which point he’ll say “7 bits baby!”) if he continues to release at the current rate!

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      1. Steve made the right call, by time SQRL is done we will have perfected storage, or it will all be in the cloud anyways thanks to how good 5G will be. No need to buy a bigger faster disk just a bigger lane on the information super highway!

        Spinrite is a MEH at best product currently. There are other products on the market that do that same thing but better.

        Is there a massage parlor near the new Twit HQ or a Bath house?

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          1. evilpants:
            I wanna know how the guy makes a living. What does he do apart from Security Now?

            Probably (wisely) didn’t live beyond his means when SpinRite was big, banked a bunch of cash, and now coasting on past successes (an admirable retirement). SpinRite probably continues to dribble in a modicum of revenue for little effort on top of the fiver or Hamilton that Leo pays for his presence on SN (aka Leo lunch time)

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  9. On TTG, Sunday Feb 10 hour 1 40 min, Leo confirmed HOT will be nothing but clips culled from other shows. No hosts. No live recording. Nothing new. Just recycled clips. Yawn.

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  10. Had to look, TWiG used to get 5-600 live viewers, the latest one I took a peek. 330 live viewers. Went to YT to confirm it and yup.

    TTG used to get roughly 1,000-,1200 live viewers. Today I looksie, 554 when I checked.

    Hows the story go about re-arranging the deck chairs on the Titanic? HoT using chopped up clips for shows is lazy, cheap, affordable and genuinely a sign that L&L could give a bums sweaty moist asshole anymore. I fucking hope they hang it up in 2019, theres nothing left.

    I could picture Leotard doing the radio show in his closet wearing his GIMP costume that Lisa loves.

    Fuck You

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  11. Jesus, I got ‘nuthin

    Leo, get your numbers up.

    Any romperroom 14 yo girl can generate more traffic.

    What’s with the dumb ass youtube clips? They don’t work!

    How are you making money?

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  12. Trump attacked me on the bus!!! Wahhhh! It was him and Mike Pence both wearing MAGA hats and screaming this is Trump land! I was terrified. Then they broke my knee and tied a noose around my neck just because I support kid bangers like Clinton. Or I just may be too old and stupid to walk any longer.

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  13. Looked during the Samsung live keynote, 820 live viewers. And it was 2+ years ago 1,200+ viewers for keynotes.
    Looked around of other credible media sites on the youTubez and its ehh 8-30K.

    Just hang it up Leotard, you fucking irrelevant twat.

    Fuck You.

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  14. The Smithsonian Institution protects it’s security with SpinRite!
    “SpinRite has quite literally helped to keep the physical security of the Smithsonian intact, and I have convinced some skeptics of it’s power.” — Skieve Gibbons
    https://www.grc.com/sn/sn-651-notes.pdf
    “If it’s good enough for the Smithsonian, it’s good enough for you.” — Soup

    Smithsonian Employee doesn’t realize SpinRite can’t be used on modern large drives https://twitter.com/ssnapier/status/846118589128151040

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    1. Carefully curated bullshit… spinrite is FRAUD hiding behind dumbass marketing. Chump change or it’d be like the bigger $ nonsence (Olivia friggin’ Jade) –> these people: Leo Laporte, Steve Gobson, & all deserve this silly hater troll site. Mediocre non evolving/improving junk. Cool now that there’s real accounting, It reveals the TWIT joke numbers.

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