Lisa Laporte Admits She is Still an Abject Failure

Update 2: Yoko has now disabled comments on her blog.
Update 1: Shortly after publishing this article, Lisa’s site has been updated to work without www. You’re welcome, Yoko.

Yoko has taken to her never-trafficked, poorly-configured — you can’t get there without the www — blog to once again admit that she is a miserable, abject failure of a CeHO.

We wrote about the last time she admitted that she’s bad at her only above-the-table job. We’ve also covered her other misadventures in running a small business.

This time at Artisanal Agency, she’s thrown advertisers, clients, and her own staff under the bus as well. Her writing is terrible, and we know it’s tough to get through, but please read her post in its entirety. (That’s an archive link, but you can comment on the actual post if you want, as long as it’s around.)

Neither Hilton A. Goring nor any other black employees could be reached for comment.
Neither Hilton A. Goring nor any other black employees could be reached for comment.

In her post, she calls some of her Art Is Anal current clients “amateurs” and says she has to drop them. She makes fun of advertisers for actually wanting to track the campaigns to make sure they work; fuck them, right?

Perhaps, most gallingly, she insults her staff as not being her “equals”. You really have to read the entire thing for the full effect.

In her previous failure post, she was a fan of the “SMART” acronym. This time, it’s “STRONG”. Each time she admits failure, she comes up with a new acronym to try not to fail in the future.

Leo Laporte Takes a Shit On Live Viewers Again

Lisa Kentzell Laporte Stomping on Engineer in a Manly Pose
Lisa Kentzell Laporte Stomping on Engineer in a Manly Pose

Leo Laporte’s tumor may be spreading to his brain. He took to his live stream yesterday — before TWiG (This Week in Troll Talk) — to discuss his most ardent of fans, the live stream viewers and IRC chatters.

Did he praise them and thank them for their continued support even as he downsized into the Shoebox Studio? No. He insulted them as he’s done again and again.

He was very angry at some of his fans asking for the schedule to be more accurate. Instead of changing the schedule to reflect when he actually plans to record, his plan is now to insult those people and add wording to the site that says — pretty much — “go fuck yourself if you’re using this for any type of planning.”

An Aside

It doesn’t deserve its own post, but “Geoff Noodles” commented/asked:

They had the biggest change to the network in the last 5 years on Sunday and your guys haven’t said anything about it? Too busy trying to repost your lame videos?

This site is a fucking joke now. You guys might think they’re dying, but this site seems to be dying a hell of a lot faster.

Bye, Felicia.

Thanks for the question, Geoff. Yes, thanks to fraudulent DMCA claims from multiple Gmail accounts on behalf of TWiT, they’ve figured out a good censorship strategy there. They took down the Duke Masterschlong account, NYCritic, and many others. They haven’t taken down Erik Lanigan’s yet, but after what they did to him, a little DMCA won’t even tickle Leo or Yoko’s conscience.

In short, yes, Geoff, we are a little busy working on new infrastructure. We would like to thank Leo and Yoko for pushing us to set up our own CDN and viewing infrastructure, which we are still working on. The video above and a few others are currently hosted from a temporary location.

There will be a video relating to the move to the Shoebox Studios later. Thanks again, Geoff!

Lisa vs Father Robert Ballecer: Will the Bricks Make the Move?

Lisa Kentzell Laporte is nasty
Gorgeous Lisa Kentzell Laporte

Leo Laporte and Lisa Kentzell Laporte say they will move the bricks. Father Robert wasn’t given his talking points and isn’t so sure. He has more specifics and says only “a few choice ones” will survive the move to the TWiT Eastside Studio.

Leo says it will be a while before they’re installed, perhaps hoping #sheeplive forgets by then?

Since each person involved is a known pathological liar, who do we believe?

Unfortunately, we can only present both sides above and let you decide.

Leo Laporte Announces TWiT Eastside Studio Will Be a Literal Sweatshop

In a departure from the usual, there are two videos below.

Leo Laporte and Yoko Lisa Kentzell Laporte
The Walrus and Yoko

Leo Laporte famously cares nothing for his employees, but this may take the cake — sorry Tonya.

The new Eastside studio doesn’t have enough power to air condition the studio and the office space, forcing a Yoko’s Choice. Master planner Lisa Kentzell Laporte couldn’t manage to get appropriate facilities infrastructure in place in time for the move.

For more on the air conditioning situation, lets go straight to the walrus in suspenders’ mouth.

Sorry, TWiT employees! Sweat it out, thinking about Leo’s $22,000 cruise. I’m sure they had something better to spend their money and time on.

“Let the rest of them suffer.” Nice, Leo Laporte. Nice.

Leo Laporte Receives No Sympathy From Twitter

His dick is this long.
His dick is this long.

It wasn’t long ago that Leo Laporte suggested to Virginia Heffernan that “it’s all fabricated” and “it’s one guy” when referring to #TeamOneAss and #DvorakTrollArmy. And let us not forget that “it’s all one ass” photoshopping his dick into live video that was later poorly edited out.

He would like to pretend — he doesn’t believe it himself, right? — that only one person dislikes him and what he’s let Lisa Kentzell do to his once-acceptable tech netpodcasting network.

However, look at this sampling of his (previous?) audience’s reaction to him complaining about Twitter… on Twitter.

Reactions to Leo Laporte on Twitter

Lisa Laporte Explains Business In Under 9 Minutes

Expert business leader, Lisa Kentzell Laporte.
Expert business leader, Lisa Kentzell Laporte.

When we heard the BeanCast — whatever the fuck that is — was having Lisa Kentzell Laporte on their show to discuss agency gender bias, we became supremely excited!

What could legendary business leader Lisa have in store?

What could we learn from her?

We knew that if Lisa was capable of tricking another podcast into believing she has an actual agency representing actual podcast networks, she is pretty much capable of anything. The podcast itself is a bit over an hour, but it’s there if you want to hear it.

Here are Lisa’s insights alone with no interruptions (8 min 37 sec). Listen — if you dare — to her dulcet tones explaining business principles, adversities she’s overcome, and definitely not sleeping her way to the top.

Hilton A. Goring could not be reached for comment.
Hilton A. Goring could not be reached for comment.

The credits list her as “Lisa Laporte, CEO, and Artisanal Agency”. You know, Lisa Laporte, the one with the Twitter account set to protected who runs the Art Is Anal LLC Twitter which is also protected.

That Lisa Kentzell Laporte, business expert extraordinaire.

Leo Laporte Forces Megan Morrone to Discuss Her Compensation On-Air

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Update: You can view the botched edit job from Laurence Simmonds on YouTube.

Leo Laporte's feelings toward his staff and viewers.
Leo Laporte’s feelings toward his staff and viewers.

Leo Laporte is usually content to embarrass others through his own actions. From time to time, however, he requires that those he humiliates participate in their own shaming.

For example, he reveled in forcing an underage rape victim to relive the scenario. He published the ass crack of his Segway delivery man. Leo’s The Tech Guy call screeners have to sit there on camera while he insults and berates them. His depravity truly knows no bounds.

Comparison between Megan Morrone and a monkey.
Comparison between Megan and a monkey.

Yesterday, on iOS Today, Leo forced possibly-racist, non-monkey Megan Morrone to discuss her compensation and possibly lack thereof on-screen while she was visibly uncomfortable. If you can work past the cringe factor, give the video above a complete viewing.

To help cleanse the palate, here’s Megan doing her little “defuse the tension and anguish you just caused me” dance.

TWiT Solicits Strip Mall Studio Logo

Update 2: TYFYC Mike for posting it to TWiT’s Facebook page where it remains days later, unnoticed by TWiT’s crack social media team (Lisa).
Update 1: Scroll to the bottom to view Total Drama reader submissions!
TWiT Eastside Studio Logo Donated by Total Drama
TWiT Eastside Studio Logo Donated by Total Drama (click for larger version)

Leo Laporte and Lisa Kentzell Laporte have always made their living on the back of free labor, services, etc. Today’s example is no different.

Poor Anthony Nielsen had to make two example logos — at least it’s not a genital-distracting sizzle reel right Anthony? — for their Facebook post requesting that a fan make them a free logo. If your logo is selected, they will pay you an exclusive license fee of $500 plus a $0.50 royalty on each T-Shirt sold with your logo.

Haha. Just kidding. You don’t get jack shit.

Our contribution — seen above — will be hard to beat. It has all the important elements and milestones TWiT and Leo Laporte are now known for. It’s got his dick pic, cunt pic, and most importantly, Leo’s prized possession lease, the Tesla Model X. Is he compensating for something? Yes.

Be sure to put your suggestions in the comments and tweet @leolaporte, @lisadlaporte, and @artisanalllc. If you are feeling particularly adventurous, post your suggestions on that Facebook post!

Here’s what Anthony made.

twit eastside logos

Reader Submissions


drama6108's TWiT Eastside Logo Submission
drama6108’s TWiT Eastside Logo Submission


Total Drama Eastside Studio Logo on the Inside TWiT Facebook Page
Total Drama Eastside Studio Logo on the Inside TWiT Facebook Page

Leo Laporte Laments the Loss of Casual Homophobia

Guest SubmissionAn anonymous tipster sent in this video from the most recent The Tech Guy. In it, Leo appears to lament the loss of casual homophobia. At the least, he doesn’t seem to have much of a problem with it.

For a normal person in 2016, this would be surprising, but for Leo Laporte, it’s par for the course. Nathan — the iHeartMedia producer — plays a song containing the word “faggot” three times in a row during an intro to a The Tech Guy segment. Leo notes that it “used to be OK to say that.”

Leo makes insensitive gay jokes on air on a regular basis. He purged many staffers for questionable reasons. He even drove Jeff Needles away.

Will the depths to which he will sink never end?