Category Archives: News

News articles about the dark side of “new media”

News

Hurricane Lisa will not stop until TWiT is destroyed

76 Comments

In a move that would make Hurricane Maria envious, TWiT’s much-maligned CEO Lisa Laporte continues her reign of destruction on what remains of the failing TWiT Network.

In the latest Inside TWiT blog post, Lisa Laporte outlined the upcoming fall changes (i.e. cancellations) that were necessary to “bring more context and perspective” to the TWiT network.

The informative yet sponsor-challenged Home Theater Geeks has finally been 86’d from the menu, but thankfully Scott Wilkinson will continue to grace us on The Tech Guy radio show, while also remaining Leo Laporte’s personal audio/video calibrator for the rest of his natural life. The LG TV tagline “Life’s Good” is extremely appropriate here, unless you’re totally trapped right now like Scott Wilkinson.

Secondly, the hilariously insightful daily tech news show Tech News Today is being downsized to a weekly show, leaving its final viewers concerned how they are going to last 6 days without their daily dose of tech news.

But as a goodwill gesture, those who subscribed to Tech News Today will automatically be subscribed to its weekly replacement (yay?) We haven’t seen this level of generosity since U2 gifted their fucking terrible album to all iTunes users and that didn’t end well.

Last, but not least, the highly unpredictable Know How has been exorsized of half its shows. The twice-a-week show — which Father Robert Ballecer simply uses as a pulpit for self-praise and native ads — will now be seen only once per week. We reached out to Fr. Robert for comment and his exact words were “I TOTALLY understand that it’s painful… but this is healthy”. [ #twitlive chat – Oct. 1/17 17:52 PDT ] We firmly believe this isn’t the first time he’s used that line on somebody.

In summary, Abraham Lincoln might have freed the slaves, but Lisa Laporte did one better by liberating Mondays from the TWiT schedule. While canceling shows does marginally impact the bottom line, we don’t think this is enough to stay profitable, which is why we suspect another round of firings is just around the corner. Please tell us who you think will be fired next, and why. If you’re a TWiT employee now’s your chance to throw your co-worker under the bus.

Editor’s Note: Thank you to the anonymous chatter in our chat room for providing the content for this story. If you have breaking news please feel free to submit a tip, or if you’re tired of rotting away in your Mom’s basement please send us your resume.

News

TWiT’s CEO Lies in Bed Naked While TWiT Burns

46 Comments

yea, no.
Prior to boxing day was Leo distracted unboxing the CEO’s box before being distracted unboxing the boxes he unboxes?
Does Lisa Kentzell Laporte still want to be CEO of TWiT?

Why is the CEO of a multi-million dollar company not at work at 11:00 AM on Wednesday morning? She was home naked according to Leo, possibly still in a sex swing.

Leo proudly proclaimed her nakedness with a chuckle upon entering the TWiT studios late — as usual — for his Windows Weekly taping.

Is it appropriate for management to tell employees that the CEO is home naked? Is it sexual harassment to do so? Is revealing private matters like this demeaning and a betrayal of Lisa’s privacy and dignity?

News

TWiT First Broadcast Company to Surpass a Ten Minute Commercial

38 Comments

Many thought it too much for any audience to take but on September 7th 2015 TWiT became the first broadcast network to feed their audience a ten minute commercial. We undertsand it was one of the worst TWiTs in the history of TWiT, but ten minutes?

At what point is it considered an infomercial?

Please Speed through if you don’t believe us.
We are not responsible for any deaths as a result of boredom. Watching this video can cause headaches, vomiting, diarrhea, feelings of depression, suicide, homicide, patricide, genocide, bouts of murder, sweating, sweaty palms, abortion, crucifixions, crusades, terrorism and can result in harm to a fetus (wether in you or in anyone nearby,) racism, homophobia, claustrophobia, agoraphobia, stomach pains, runny nose, bad breath, pimples and spinal injury. Consult your doctor, lawyer, grade school teachers, accountant, janitor,psychiatrist before watching.

News

Even Laporte is Sick of Drones on Know-How

14 Comments

The formerly popular show Know How has continued showing declining ratings since the departure of the host and creator Iyaz Ahktar. The initail concept was a compelling weekly rotation of various tech-how-to topics. The program was a success, but it truly shined in one other area. It had various episodes that were monster hits on YouTube and with proper management or a CEO at the helm of TWiT, that could have been parlayed into an influx of TWiT viewers.

Wowzers, a million views
Wowzers, a million views

Total Drama has been on this show’s case for some time. TD has often ridiculed the current iteration of Know How for doing the same depleted topic for well over a year; drones.

Avid TD reader Leo Laporte has finally accepted the critique put forth by this blog. In the video below you will see his disgust with how this show was ruined. The secret to success is not droning on for one entire week about propellers, another week on motors, and yet another on drone cameras. The entire fan base has been driven away. This is why the show rests uneasily on the chopping block.

Unfortunately, the current host slash 1920s radio announcer impersonator has decided that the ratings have declined because of the set. His solution is to move the hands on how-to show to a round table discussion format.

News

Money Drives Content at the New TWiT

43 Comments

An announcement arrived after this past Sunday’s episode of TWiT. Nothing is sadder than watching TWiT abandon everything it once held dear as it becomes nothing more than a high speed pursuit of money. TWiT had previously promised fans that advertising will never dictate content. Add that pledge to the growing pile of lies.

The announcement is that TWiT is now covering any and every live event. But why? Is it all of a sudden important? Why are they looking for live events to cover?  Answer: They sold ads on TWiT Specials, finally. After only five years, management monetized the most “highly watched” content. So now it’s time to pervert it.

Now that specials are making some dough, the audience will undoubtedly be forced to choke on them. In actuality, TWiT is so uninterested in these events , which they are now covering, that they will just have Gum host.

Shame on you Leo.

This short term thinking should accomplish the lone goal of making the public lose interest in the actual watchable live events.

Actually no need to click anywhere for low quality
Truthfully, no need to click anywhere for low quality, you get that regardless.

And I ask the haters of this blog to offer an alternate theory as to why they are suddenly making this change aside from the $$. If only they could sell some ads on Inside TWiT and at the Monthly Global Meet Ups, this network might return to being interesting.

To hear the CEO response click below:

Audio courtesy of NotNozirev

News

Sweetheart

38 Comments

guest-submission3The screenshot below was submitted by a fan without comment. I am not sure if the comment was lost or what happened. Our IT department is on it. I personally don’t see the relevance of this tweet but I will post it.

A great CEO, tough but fair.
A great CEO, tough but fair.

UPDATE: Accusations that this was a photoshop mounted, so I will include a link.

News

Jeff N. Dishes on TWiT

29 Comments

What many suspected, is confirmed. TWiT finds fans and pays them pittance until their dream becomes a nightmare. In a medium post [from June 2015] a former TWiT had a lot to say.

One Way Ticket to Freedom.
One Way Ticket to Freedom.
"how I ended up at TWiT involves my Leo-fandom from The Screen Savers days followed by me relentlessly emailing..."
"they [TWiT] were interested in discussing a full-time gig. It was less money than I was hoping for"
"I was excited and optimistic and maybe a tad naive."
"But dreams change. Reality sets in"
"~5 months at TWiT. There were ups and downs, periods of bliss, followed by periods of misery. It was only once the frequency of the latter outpaced the former that I knew it was really time for a change"
"....and I’d end up just giving up and staying at TWiT."

The story has a happy ending. Jeff got a job at Meerkat.

"Right now, I’m extremely thrilled to be doing something I love for a company I believe in"

How long until the remaining fans-turned-underpaid see the light?

Pro Tip for Jeff: You do not have to put everything on your resume. Leave off stuff like McDonalds griller, Cineplex usher and TWiT.

News, Opinion

TWiT.TV 2.0: TWiT TV Reinvents Itself

32 Comments
Did the lovely and Talented Sarah Lane demand a cat pic?
Did the lovely & talented Sarah Lane order a TD cat pic?

In a sobering behind-the-scenes look inside TWiT, we see that the Total Drama prognosis for the future of TWiT is not far off from the vision of its very leader, Laporte himself.

In the following video we see a quick look at how Leo prepares for his flagship show. Twenty short minutes before the scheduled start time Laporte asks his director [Jason Howell] which guests will be appearing on his panel [and who they are.] Laporte then goes on to inquire of Howell if any tech news actually transpired in the past week. That concludes his preparation, he doesn’t even browse the headlines.

Furthermore, rather than preparing, even for the remaining 10 minutes before airing the live show, he begins to nap, complete with lullaby music. He also clarifies his dream about a day when he can just do the ads and ditch the content.

Trust us folks, Leo broadcasting from his bed is not far off.

Gossip, News

Media Superstar Howard Stern Belittles TWiT and Questions Revenue Numbers

57 Comments

Click here if the player above doesn’t work.

A Real Talent Howard Stern
A Real Talent: Howard Stern

Jeff Jarvis, CUNY adjunct professor of something, telephoned in to the Howard Stern radio program to kiss Howard’s ass. Between kisses, Google’s #1 fan tried to get in a plug for his other love; Leo Laporte.

Howard would have none of it and laid down the truth.

Howard openly called in to question the revenue numbers publicly given out by TWiT and Leo’s wife turned CEO. He went on to mock the chosen name of the network.
Howard; we loved you before and we love you more now, you have always been an inspiration to those of us tirelessly working at TotalDrama HQ. Babbooey dear friend.
Hey Jeff, thanks for helping out, we owe you one!

Longer Audio Clip

Click here if the player above doesn’t work.

Click retweet to show your appreciation to the king of all media.

Special thanks to long-time member of TotalDrama koolaide from our chat room and comments for the audio contributions. Team #OneAss.

Gossip, News, Opinion

Gum and PadreSJ are banned from hosting “This Week in Tech”

65 Comments

Where are my facts?  Where is my proof? This is pure speculation!

My facts are my eyes and my proof is my reason. Here’s the facts, Jack:

  • For a decade now, #Soupguzzler has taken multiple vacations.
  • Spare TWiT hosts always fill in (Merritt, Lane, Padre, Gum etc.).
  • All of a sudden, outsiders are substitute hosting the weekly TWiT.
  • PadreSJ would do anything, even help the wretched poor, to host. We know he wasn’t busy.
Would you rather a unrelated pic of Shannon Morse or another Padre pic.
Would you rather see an unrelated pic of Shannon Morse or another Padre pic? I made my choice.

So use your brain…what happened? What changed? Why all of a sudden are they begging Becky and Kevin Rose to host? Maybe the TD premise is accurate. Maybe ratings are down. Maybe they are getting desperate. If you disagree, then buy another TWiT shirt.

Wake up kids, Rome is burning.

*Note: In the interest of saving space “the lovely and talented Sarah Lane” was referred to as “Lane” in paragraph 2 line 2. God forgive me but format matters