Tag Archives: #TotalFailure

Lisa Laporte is a Failed CEO: Exhibit A

Editor’s Note: Happy New Year from the Total Drama Editorial Board

Lisa's failed TWiT: a retrospective
Lisa’s failed TWiT: a retrospective
Diving deeper into the concepts laid out in my State of the Drama Address, let’s now take a look at some of the older shows which were canceled since Lisa became CEO of TWiT and compare them to the failed shows developed under Lisa’s leadership.

When viewing the infographic above, it’s clear all of the new shows were developed specifically for the advertisers — or were just plainly bad ideas — whereas the old shows were centered around people and the TWiT audience. At one time, Leo was genuinely trying to build a tech network of diverse and interesting content, but we are well past that point now.

Hey Lisa and Leo, just admit it; you’re committing the ultimate sin: letting the ad sales department drive content! In some cases, advertising is the content.

Shame on you both.

Media Superstar Howard Stern Belittles TWiT and Questions Revenue Numbers

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A Real Talent Howard Stern
A Real Talent: Howard Stern

Jeff Jarvis, CUNY adjunct professor of something, telephoned in to the Howard Stern radio program to kiss Howard’s ass. Between kisses, Google’s #1 fan tried to get in a plug for his other love; Leo Laporte.

Howard would have none of it and laid down the truth.

Howard openly called in to question the revenue numbers publicly given out by TWiT and Leo’s wife turned CEO. He went on to mock the chosen name of the network.
Howard; we loved you before and we love you more now, you have always been an inspiration to those of us tirelessly working at TotalDrama HQ. Babbooey dear friend.
Hey Jeff, thanks for helping out, we owe you one!

Longer Audio Clip

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Click retweet to show your appreciation to the king of all media.

Special thanks to long-time member of TotalDrama koolaide from our chat room and comments for the audio contributions. Team #OneAss.

This Post is for you, #Soupguzzler

The critics of #TotalDrama call us haters; they say we are destructive, they say we are bad people, they call us trolls and troublemakers, beset upon one evil purpose. To those out there who call us vile names, I say to you: NO! To my fellow Dramamines (no relation to the sleeping pill), I say: We are heroes.

A HERO’S WORK IS NEVER DONE: Truth-telling is hard, but #TotalDrama is up to the task.

There are certain ultimate truths that exist in the universe. And we at #TotalDrama exist to expose these truths. The first of which is that the #CEHo is incompetent. As proof, I offer the “hit” show “I’d Fund That” as evidence.
This abomination of a show serves as the supreme example of her

  • The show concept is a blatant rip off. Fine.
  • She morphed herself from a mediocre bookkeeper into a show host. Um, OK.
  • She took Lgum and made him a host. Wow.
  • The show needs way more production time than the next three highest-produced shows combined. Good luck with that.
  • The show requires extensive setup time and interferes with every other show and is incapable of being organized effectively every week. More work for the TWiT staff? I don’t think so.
  • The contestants will quickly realize there’s no benefit to appearing on the show and will stop driving to Petaluma. Rush hour is killer, don’tcha know.
  • The beta episodes were awful. Amen.
  • Kevin Rose may host it once; and JCD will never host. Truth.
  • You are putting the TWiT founder, CEO, and News Director on one show at the same time? Don’t they have better stuff to do?
The hosts of “I’d Fund That,” Leo, Elgum and the CEHo.

So I ask: How does she not realize this? Then it hit me. She is a bookkeeper with absolutely no experience in broadcasting.  As much as I hate #soup, Leo was aware that the show wouldn’t work after about five minutes. As hard as it is to admit sometimes, Leo does have a brain and has worked in broadcasting his whole wasted life. He is not going to be on that show; only the braindead think “I’d Fund That” could ever really be a success—and that includes both fans and staff alike.

So listen up, Soup. This charade is getting ridiculous. Soup: It’s time. DEMOTE HER. You could really use a real, honest-to-goodness qualified CEO. So make her the CFO and we won’t tell her what the “F” really stands for. Soup, I say this as a friend. Look at her CEO blog, it looks like a 6th grader wrote it using a book of keywords and phrases from resumebuilder.com. I am a go-getter….I don’t take no for an answer…I get things done.
I don’t want to play anymore, Soup. When you made the biggest mistake of your life and did not renew Tom Merritt’s  contract, everyone knew you made a big mistake. Only one person not only supported your wrong-headed decision, but stuck with you in doubling down on the denial. Lisa thought you offered Tom too much. She thought Elgum was a great idea. So WTF? Get someone who disagrees with you, who challenges you to be a better TWiT leader. Someone like the lovely and talented Sarah Lane?  So enough already with surrounding yourself with spineless “Yes Men” and your worthless “Yes Mistress.” Hire someone qualified. But for real this time. Make it count—before it’s too late.