All posts by Ghost Dog

TWiT First Broadcast Company to Surpass a Ten Minute Commercial

Many thought it too much for any audience to take but on September 7th 2015 TWiT became the first broadcast network to feed their audience a ten minute commercial. We undertsand it was one of the worst TWiTs in the history of TWiT, but ten minutes?

At what point is it considered an infomercial?

Please Speed through if you don’t believe us.
We are not responsible for any deaths as a result of boredom. Watching this video can cause headaches, vomiting, diarrhea, feelings of depression, suicide, homicide, patricide, genocide, bouts of murder, sweating, sweaty palms, abortion, crucifixions, crusades, terrorism and can result in harm to a fetus (wether in you or in anyone nearby,) racism, homophobia, claustrophobia, agoraphobia, stomach pains, runny nose, bad breath, pimples and spinal injury. Consult your doctor, lawyer, grade school teachers, accountant, janitor,psychiatrist before watching.

Even Laporte is Sick of Drones on Know-How

The formerly popular show Know How has continued showing declining ratings since the departure of the host and creator Iyaz Ahktar. The initail concept was a compelling weekly rotation of various tech-how-to topics. The program was a success, but it truly shined in one other area. It had various episodes that were monster hits on YouTube and with proper management or a CEO at the helm of TWiT, that could have been parlayed into an influx of TWiT viewers.

Wowzers, a million views
Wowzers, a million views

Total Drama has been on this show’s case for some time. TD has often ridiculed the current iteration of Know How for doing the same depleted topic for well over a year; drones.

Avid TD reader Leo Laporte has finally accepted the critique put forth by this blog. In the video below you will see his disgust with how this show was ruined. The secret to success is not droning on for one entire week about propellers, another week on motors, and yet another on drone cameras. The entire fan base has been driven away. This is why the show rests uneasily on the chopping block.

Unfortunately, the current host slash 1920s radio announcer impersonator has decided that the ratings have declined because of the set. His solution is to move the hands on how-to show to a round table discussion format.

Money Drives Content at the New TWiT

An announcement arrived after this past Sunday’s episode of TWiT. Nothing is sadder than watching TWiT abandon everything it once held dear as it becomes nothing more than a high speed pursuit of money. TWiT had previously promised fans that advertising will never dictate content. Add that pledge to the growing pile of lies.

The announcement is that TWiT is now covering any and every live event. But why? Is it all of a sudden important? Why are they looking for live events to cover?  Answer: They sold ads on TWiT Specials, finally. After only five years, management monetized the most “highly watched” content. So now it’s time to pervert it.

Now that specials are making some dough, the audience will undoubtedly be forced to choke on them. In actuality, TWiT is so uninterested in these events , which they are now covering, that they will just have Gum host.

Shame on you Leo.

This short term thinking should accomplish the lone goal of making the public lose interest in the actual watchable live events.

Actually no need to click anywhere for low quality
Truthfully, no need to click anywhere for low quality, you get that regardless.

And I ask the haters of this blog to offer an alternate theory as to why they are suddenly making this change aside from the $$. If only they could sell some ads on Inside TWiT and at the Monthly Global Meet Ups, this network might return to being interesting.

To hear the CEO response click below:

Audio courtesy of NotNozirev

Thou Shall Not Lie

I didn't eat the cookie I promise. (I took the cookie.)
I didn’t eat the cookie I promise. (I took the cookie.)

This site has pointed out some of the classic lies told by a man we feel has abandoned the truth for big houses, big vacations and big cars. However, to prove our point, some times we have to grab a video of him saying one thing and then juxtapose it with a video of him saying the opposite. Other times we just point out his promises of things that never happened.

A favorite of ours is when he contradicts himself within the same sentence. i.e. “We do offer equity, right now it’s a sole proprietership so I can’t give people shares, uh ah but at some point soon we are gonna convert it so that….” Idiot, you do not offer equity. This is not complicated Boolean logic.

When watching the video below, try and get inside his head to see why/how this stuff comes out of his mouth. His instinct is to tell people what he wants them to hear and the truth is like an impediment in his way.

“Who do we have? A great Triangulation tomorrow, we have a substitute but it’s exciting.”
[So you don’t know who is on, but it is exciting?]
[Looooong pause as they look it up]
“Ah that’s what it was, the guy who created Apple.”
[No Leo, he passed on]
“Newton. The Newton.”
[No Leo, not him either]
“He was the “Newton marketing guy.”
[That’s it]
“And Lively’s good.”
[OK Leo likes Lively, but he follows it with]
“What is Lively? That’s familiar.”
[and then a lie]
“I like Lively.”
[and truth]
“What is lively?”
[Looooong pause as they look it up]
“So he is rich. He…”

Fair Use Doctrine: (Such as TWiT.TV rebroadcast of Apple Events) In its most general sense, a fair use is any copying of copyrighted material done for a limited and “transformative” purpose, such as to comment upon, criticize, or parody a copyrighted work. Such uses can be done without permission from the copyright owner. In other words, fair use is a defense against a claim of copyright infringement. If your use qualifies as a fair use, then it would not be considered an illegal infringement…

Editors Note: We saw everything with JCD and will work that story but if you think you caught something feel free to let us know.

Where’s Iyaz?

I have a question: Why has Iyaz never been invited back on TWiT?

He was a nice guy.
He was a nice guy. This pic was obviously photo-shopped.

Leo has told the fans that sometimes they take things too much to heart. Fans need to understand this is a business he is running.
For example: Not rehiring Tom Merritt, cancelling Amber and Dickie D et al, poaching Chad from Brian then subsequently firing Chad. Again, TWiT is a business and in business, decisions need to be made and sometimes difficult decisions. They are not personal.

I wonder why it doesn’t work the other way.

Sarah Lane was too busy to comment
Sarah Lane was too busy to comment

I wonder why Iyaz quitting was such a crime that it really set Leo off. #Soup made many comments about it, usually without naming names but we knew who he meant. So why is every Tom, Dick and Lyndsey from CNeT a frequent guest of TWiT, barring one Iyaz Akhtar. I Wonder.

Bye Bye Brickhouse

A commenter on the last post asked…

"I thought he isn’t staying once the lease is up anyway, why is he so bitter towards new tenant?"
How much for the rafters?
$80 for the mic stand, do i hear $85? OK $85 from Scooter do I hear $90? $85 going once…..

My diagnosis is that he is coming to grips with reality. The last four years were an important time for TWiT.  As Lisa alluded to in her CEO blog, it was about metaphorically growing twit to fit the brickhouse. They were launching new shows and trying to build a network. They failed.

(L to R) CEO/Wife Lisa Kentzel, Founder Leo Laporte, Malformed creature Ozzie

Now the millions of greenbacks put into the rented brickhouse are gone. They got 4 or 5 years out of that money. Due to bad decisions they lost all talent. Elgin has launched zero shows. Megan has no time to launch a show. Each show Padre has launched would be cancelled if not for the free labor cost. Thank god for Gazelle because they don’t even entertain new show ideas anymore after the TNSS disaster.
An expensive video show for a podcast network, sheesh.

The new people have not had one new show and are struggling to maintain the foundation from crumbling. Leo is well aware that when the next phase comes it will be about squeezing everything he can out of what is left of twit and not growth.

123 in tech can not be good
123 in tech can not be good

The next studio will be smaller. They will retain Jason for AAA and editing with one other editor and one IT guy. Everyone else will have to be let go. TNT will end and Padre will begin his sabbatical. They will cut more costs and try and preserve revenue from the people not updating RSS feeds in iTunes and Stitcher. The days when shows brought viewers to other shows is turning into days where defections cause defections on other programs.

Getting back to the original question of the commenter, Leo knows when the brickhouse closes the final chapter begins. He would probably rather pay high rent for another year or two than admit the truth. This is a sad time and calls for a classic sad video.

Why You Should Advertise With TWiT

Total Drama is not afraid of our community and if we have something positive to say about TWiT we say it. Do not adjust your monitor. Buying ads on TWiT is a good business decision and here is why…

God don't lie.
God don’t lie.

If your company is looking for an edge and you’re thinking  about advertising on TV or radio—think again. When you pay for an ad in old media you don’t get anything close to what you get if you advertise on the TWiT network. Most companies in old media are bogged down with “standards and practices” and  even cumbersome “morality,” but not everyone has this dilemma. When you buy an ad with TWiT you don’t just buy a commercial, you buy the man: the news and the content. It’s all included for one low, low price. Any broadcaster can simply endorse a product, but I challenge you to find one network that loooooooooooves the sponsors like TWiT does; on and on they go.

You should borrow money and not from a bank
You should borrow money and not from a bank

They will clarify to the imbecilic fans that it’s real opinion which they are spewing and not just an ad. They accomplish this by mandating that every advertiser receives one personal anecdote per ad, whenever possible. For example: Leo’s son and his Casper mattress, Padre recalling the days when he was hiring tons of employees. With Zip Recruiter it’s so easy. Mike and his (really super easy) Blue Apron meals. Has an actual policy been instituted ensuring that they all prostitute themselves and their lives into the ads with these honest tales? They will never just read an ad, all employees will use and love the products.

There’s another gem included in the ad package: Most every unsuspecting guest on their shows will be thrust under the spotlight and asked to chip in to the ad with a story of their own. They will literally put guests on the spot—live—for the sponsor. And fret not about the listeners, ads can take up to eight minutes—it’s all o.k. But you get even more than that, you can become the content, too!

Trust is bond between me and Leo
Trust is a bond between me and Leo, trust me on this.

Remember when Ford was a sponsor? Every other week Leo would talk about Allan Mullalay (his great friend) and quote him and talk about Ford in technology. Yes, he recites his disclaimer but then proceeds to give Ford air time on Premier and TWiT as coverage. Now that Ford is no longer a sponsor they have become just another irrelevant car company? And remember Carbonite? At least once a week a “Tech Guy” caller would serendipitously get through to tell a story about his woes of not backing-up and (disclaimer they’re a sponsor) #Soup would mention Carbonite. Does no one need to back up anymore?

If you’re a really big sponsor you may even be interviewed on “Triangulation.”

I loooooooooove this company
I loooooooooove this company

{Prosper and Harry’s shaving stuff are Silicon Valley companies} you get stuff like that said if you advertise with TWiT, they’ll say anything. They blur the line between content and paid commercial all the time. ‘Smooth transitions’ they call the blur. As the CEO of a sponsoring company, you also get to be a good friend of Leo; Lynda, Joe and Steve from ITP, Bill Harris, the great guys from Warber Parky, Carbonite founder etc etc etc etc. The fans eat that shit up. They will whore it all for you, if you buy ads..

I don't lie.
Do I look like a liar?

Do you want an endorsement from Kevin Rose for Legal Zoom or from Amber MacArthur for Freshbooks? No problemo, he will throw that in free and you don’t have to pay them. Do you want the hosts to love and use your product? Easy, it’s part of every host’s job description, they have to use them. They’ll make wills, they’ll eat NatureBox nuts, they’ll install doorbells, they’ll do anything. And it’s legit, they really, really looooooove it all. Leave your dignity at the door please.

Technology maven and sponsor
Technology maven and sponsor

One employee dared to have an opinion against a sponsor and he no longer works at TWiT. Presently, all employees shave with Harry’s, all of them, they love it. And don’t worry, even if it’s old salami and a cracker for your pet (delivered once a month by barkbox) Ozzie the putrid pooch will love it. That’s right, Ozzie’s endorsement is for sale too. Oh, and if you want the ultimate sellout, we have one pitch man in a priest outfit telling you how great ProXpn is and how everyone loves it. TWiT has never hired anyone with Zip Recruiter, ever, never ever. But who cares? They list a job there so they can say to the catatonic fan base that they use Ziprecruiter. Would it kill them to just do the ad without the misrepresentations? BUT ALAS, I LOVE IT. Barbados vacation, here I come.

Did you ever wonder why they don’t prerecord ads? Think about it and you’ll know why sponsors prefer live. It’s all for sale if you got money. So call or e-mail TWiT and place an ad today!

Note* Paul Thurott doesn’t put up with this shit and will not be a part of the shenanigans. [Per commentor except audible]
Note* Much of this sponsor story was based on other stories found here and here.

Note* I have no problems with ad reads or advertising in general. It is easily and often done with integrity.

Jeff N. Dishes on TWiT

What many suspected, is confirmed. TWiT finds fans and pays them pittance until their dream becomes a nightmare. In a medium post [from June 2015] a former TWiT had a lot to say.

One Way Ticket to Freedom.
One Way Ticket to Freedom.
"how I ended up at TWiT involves my Leo-fandom from The Screen Savers days followed by me relentlessly emailing..."
"they [TWiT] were interested in discussing a full-time gig. It was less money than I was hoping for"
"I was excited and optimistic and maybe a tad naive."
"But dreams change. Reality sets in"
"~5 months at TWiT. There were ups and downs, periods of bliss, followed by periods of misery. It was only once the frequency of the latter outpaced the former that I knew it was really time for a change"
"....and I’d end up just giving up and staying at TWiT."

The story has a happy ending. Jeff got a job at Meerkat.

"Right now, I’m extremely thrilled to be doing something I love for a company I believe in"

How long until the remaining fans-turned-underpaid see the light?

Pro Tip for Jeff: You do not have to put everything on your resume. Leave off stuff like McDonalds griller, Cineplex usher and TWiT.

TWiT.TV 2.0: TWiT TV Reinvents Itself

Did the lovely and Talented Sarah Lane demand a cat pic?
Did the lovely & talented Sarah Lane order a TD cat pic?

In a sobering behind-the-scenes look inside TWiT, we see that the Total Drama prognosis for the future of TWiT is not far off from the vision of its very leader, Laporte himself.

In the following video we see a quick look at how Leo prepares for his flagship show. Twenty short minutes before the scheduled start time Laporte asks his director [Jason Howell] which guests will be appearing on his panel [and who they are.] Laporte then goes on to inquire of Howell if any tech news actually transpired in the past week. That concludes his preparation, he doesn’t even browse the headlines.

Furthermore, rather than preparing, even for the remaining 10 minutes before airing the live show, he begins to nap, complete with lullaby music. He also clarifies his dream about a day when he can just do the ads and ditch the content.

Trust us folks, Leo broadcasting from his bed is not far off.