Tag Archives: #justdance


guest-submission3The screenshot below was submitted by a fan without comment. I am not sure if the comment was lost or what happened. Our IT department is on it. I personally don’t see the relevance of this tweet but I will post it.

A great CEO, tough but fair.
A great CEO, tough but fair.

UPDATE: Accusations that this was a photoshop mounted, so I will include a link.

B4 it’s 2 late

Image006I am reprising a column started by legendary author Richard Yes. I will attempt to save the upcoming  travel show from imminent disaster. The show is in the planning stages and expected to star the lovely and talented Sarah Lane and Jonny Jet from the weekly snoozefest radio show.

In this article we will rescue the show by doing the following:

  • Cutting costs
  • Merchandizing
  • Garnering sponsor synergy
  • Gripping fans with #drama
  • Increasing audience size
  • Increasing demographic variety
  • Getting employees to work voluntarily
  • Moving the network beyond #soupguzzler
  • Continuing the mission of spreading tech knowledge

First thing we need to do is cut out Jonny, bye bye. No one cares how to save $50 on a flight from San Diego to Phoenix at 2AM on August 22nd.  No offense JJ, I am a big fan. (saving money already)

The show concept is this, we send Sarah on vacation with her hot friends to exotic locations. It’s sort of a reality show with great information mixed in. Who are these hot friends? We all know that hot girls only hang out with other hot girls, it is kind of a rule, see photo below:

Photo courtesy of instagram/el_peego
Photo courtesy of instagram.com/el_peego

I will work out the pilot episode and the staff at TWiT will need to do the rest. I can’t be expected to write the entire series. In the first episode Sarah & Co. head to Tahiti, but there is a stumbling block in their way, every good story needs a conflict. The hotel screws up the reservation and all six of them are forced to share a room with only one large bed. (save money & #Drama, ) The gang is all upset and they all update their Facebook statuses and Instagram accounts on their iPhones. (tech angle) The episode  culminates into a crescendo with one giant pillow fight as the audience is glued to the screen (#Drama) to see who wins. My money is on the girl in the green top. After the pillow fight they get ready for an evening on the town and discuss how-to (sponsor synergy with Lynda.com) put together great outfits.

Let’s discuss this show in more detail. Most of the people reading this article are already hooked and we covered many of the bullet points at the top of this article. What did we miss? Expanding the audience: An overlooked segment of the population at TWiT is  women. They will love the show as they tune in each week for relationship tips and great outfits. Sarah is a gay icon so that demo is sured up and of course straight men are in hook-line-and-sinker.  Getting staff to work free: We all know the nerdy editors will fight over editing this program, no worries on that front. Merchandizing:  Two words, ‘action’ ‘figures,’ as the show moves along everyone will have their favorite lady and plunk down coin for action figures. No Leo, they are not life sized. If somehow the gang at TWiT screws up and ratings slip. Guess who is free on Thursdays and likes to travel.  (see below)

Will travel
Will travel

In conclusion, making a hit show is not that hard. It is so easy anyone can do it. Just treat your audience with respect. Finally, no matter what, I know he is cost-free, do not put Padre on this show (and do not let Sarah pick the music.)

*Update* The show is not scripted, the hotel screw-up will be initiated by the show producer.

Enhanced user social cutting edge experience

SF Jargon
Can anyone be a CEO in 2014?

#TotalDrama has been running low on funds. We tell you this because we are committed to openness and honesty with our fans. Luckily the team at #drama may have stumbled on a windfall of cash. Yesterday SkiEast featured,  a must-read article, that shed light on  the make believe nonsense that the TWiT CEHo will be paying $400,000 for. (see image) This high level plan was combed over at #drama HQ and a few black holes were found on this white board. We put our team to work and formed a new company henceforth known as “Four Toilets” to compete in this space.

Affordable Nonsense
Affordable Nonsense

We immediately set out on a plan to both accomplish the goals laid out by the current contractor while simultaneously adding objectives and saving TWiT LLC some serious bank. We even used a piece of paper instead of a whiteboard in a cost cutting move. (see image) The plan looks solid and we hope to add some more value and bullshit in the near future. The asking price for this business plan is $85,000.

Jesus Christ what happened to TWiT? Enhancing brand image, wtf wtf wtf. There was a time this would have been laughed at and not embraced.
Anyway, I am off to get a plaid shirt, grow a beard and get a business card stating I am CEO so I can meet some of San Francisco’s hottest honeys.

TWiT comeback on the Horizon

Viewers of the Dropcom, TWiT’s mechanical eye in the sky, were greeted with an unusual sight on Saturday. What was first thought to be a spontaneous game of Ring Around the Rosy, turned out to be the often anonymous sales team holding hands and dancing around the studio. What caused the glee?

Needs help keeping track of his money.
Needs help keeping track of his money.

Inside sources reveal that a milestone event was achieved. For the first time in nine months a viewer used the forgotten offer code TNT. The viewer known as Chickenhead was unavailable for comment, but TWiT founder and propaganda connoisseur had this to say, “I could not be happier with the job Gum is doing, he is knocking it out of the park.” Could this be a sign that the troubled network is poised for a comeback?  Not likely.