All posts by The New Jeff Jarvis

Is Andrew Zarian a Bearded Terrorist?

Left: Media mogul Andrew Zarian. Right: Fat washed up DJ pretending to be computer expert.
Left: Media mogul Andrew Zarian. Right: Fat washed up DJ pretending to be computer expert.

No, but Leo Laporte thinks so.

Or at least he feels it’s an appropriate joke to make at Andrew’s expense, while Andrew is busy making Windows Weekly possible on a regular basis.

Out of the kindness of his heart, Andrew Zarian provides technical assistance and sets up the show in the Microsoft store in NYC. He creates a feed back to TWiT with multiple cameras, audio sources, etc.

Andrew Zarian is a one-man network team and donates his efforts to help his friends Paul and Mary Jo, while the jealous Leo Laporte makes fun of Zarian for being a “bearded terrorist” and “wearing a tight t-shirt.”

Leo always wears tight shirts, but they’re the same ones that didn’t used to be as tight when he wore them in 1998.

Stay classy, Leo.

Side note: Andrew Zarian created GFQ Network, a tech podcast network that actually produces quality content — unlike Leo Laporte’s unwatchable SHiT.

Be sure to check out some of his shows, including:

He also provides a live stream and chat when shows are being recorded.

Leo Laporte Regrets Thinking About Dick Pics

Perhaps more accurately, Leo Laporte’s editors and technical directors regret him mentioning dick pics.

During one of his regularly scheduled copyright infringement sessions, he made a crass joke relating to sending sexually explicit text messages to others using new features of iOS 10’s iMessage.

The editors poorly removed the mention by blurring his mouth and silencing the audio, but left in Megan Morrone’s juvenile laugh.

Thanks to a tip from a reader for sending in the clip for this video.

Megan Morrone Pleads with Leo Laporte Not to Be Sexist

From the unpublished archives, circa January 2016.

Leo Laporte is a disgusting monster to his employees. He sexually harrasses them constantly. Watching any episode of any show with Leo on it is an experience in constant sexual innuendo.

Finally, someone has called Leo to task on his deviancy on the live stream. We didn’t expect it to come from the definitely-not-racist, definitely-not-a-monkey Megan Morrone. But, then again, she was able to trick Mike Elgan with a wearable banana.

Good job, Megan.

Leo Laporte Delays iOS Today and Disgusts Viewers

From the unpublished archives, circa January 2016.

Dance, you glorious monkey.
Dance, you glorious monkey.
Leo Laporte is chronically late for every show, including the only one where someone else is his boss. Seething disrespect for his audience comes through quite clearly in the clip above.

Even though his “interview” show Triangulation finished on-time and he was already in the studio, he didn’t want to set a precedent and have people start expecting him to be on-time for any shows.

Leo Laporte, one minute before his next show was scheduled to start, left the studio, claiming to be back in 10 minutes. You can find out for yourself in the video above if that happened. You can also judge his sense of urgency and respect for his viewers.

In addition to being late for iOS Today on purpose, he made more inappropriate sexual jokes in front of and to his employee Megan Morrone, saying “a man would just stick it in.” Disgusting, Leo. Disgusting.

Leo Laporte Mocks Sponsor Rocket Mortgage

TWiT LLC has issued a DMCA takedown on our YouTube video for this post and a few others. They still don’t understand fair use. We will have a story relating to this once we know more.

Leo Laporte and his merry band of idiots have a long history of shitting on their sponsors. The sponsors never seem to wise up.

In the video above, he makes fun of one of their latest sponsors, Rocket Mortgage (by Quicken Loans).

Be sure to check out the comprehensive sponsor shitting article for lots of videos like this one.

Thanks to a reader for the tip on this one.

Man of God: Father Robert Ballecer Seemingly Admits Committing More Crimes

I said I may return for remarkable stories. I consider this to be remarkable. Thanks to the anonymous reader who sent in the tip.

Father Robert Ballecer
Fr. Robert Ballecer
This is the Total Drama series Man of God, in which we chronicle the exploits of one Father Robert Ballecer, aka Grimace in a Priest Costume, aka The Digital Jesuit, aka <PadreSJ>, aka FMCP. Please use our dvr and send in tips with examples of his very Christlike behavior.

Update: TWiT was so proud of FMCP’s admissions that they left them in the posted episode.

In the video above, you will witness Father Robert Ballecer seemingly admit to fraud, trespass, and violations of the Computer Fraud and Abuse Act.

This is not the first time he’s used the TWiT dot TV platform to announce possibly felonious activities.

I am not back “full time”. I will be here when needed. I also still have unreleased videos in “the vault”.

Leo Laporte Admits He Has to Buy Friends

See below the video for an important message.

In the video above, you will witness Leo Laporte admit that he has no friends and that he started TWiT as a way to surround himself by people who he can claim to be his “good friend” so and so. It’s just another in a long line of sad admissions made by Leo Laporte.

Many people have asked why we do this. Why do we watch Leo Laporte run what was once a great podcast network into the ground? Why do we collect, edit, and post proof of him showing dick pics, cunt pics, porn he browses, terrible things he says about cohosts, terrible things he does to cohosts, banning, insulting/erasing and dismissing old friends, erasing shows of those he no longer likes, and even possibly driving a man to commit suicide?

I don’t have a good answer anymore. It used to be for the truth, the lulz, and a hope that TWiT would get back on the right track.

TWiT is never going to get back on the right track.

I have made many videos, but in truth, many of the latest ones have come from tips from readers, because I can’t watch TWiT anymore. It’s unbearable. I’m also now tired of expending my mental energy writing stories and making videos.

Can you imagine editing together videos of TWiT and Leo? Having to listen to him say things over and over, cutting out the unimportant parts to leave in what is funny, relevant, and interesting? It’s the worst “job” in the world.

Hilton A. Goring could not be reached for comment.
Hilton A. Goring could not be reached for comment.

Total Drama is an altruistic effort. We have no ads, and the infrastructure is donated by those who believe in the effort. No money is made of any kind, and in fact is lost, in the pursuit of the truth regarding TWiT.

I have several posts in the queue including never-before-seen videos, and I may publish those, perhaps without extra commentary. But, for now it seems, the road comes to an end for me.

The New Jeff Jarvis won’t be writing any new posts unless something major or terribly interesting happens. For example, posts like this one with the video above will not be created.

We have lost many writers, and I believe I am the first to say goodbye. I hope that by doing this, other writers may join, and perhaps some of those we lost may come back.

It’s all #OneAss, after all. TYFYC.

Leo Laporte Says John C. Dvorak “Used to Be a Very Well-Respected Tech Writer”

The dumb, fat one on the left seems to hate the journalistic god on the right.
The dumb, fat one on the left seems to hate the journalistic god on the right.

Leo Laporte used to be a somewhat-respected, mostly-incorrect tech grandpa on a failure of a cable network. Now, he’s a disgusting imbecile masquerading as a tech mogul.

Since the original banning of John C. Dvorak and the follow-up insults, he’s been continuously dissing JCD and Adam Curry on a regular basis. He makes snide comments regarding John, especially when asked about him, but there’s usually not enough material for a post on Total Drama.

However, in the video above, you can hear him really lay into John C. Dvorak and Adam Curry again. Even his sycophant chat room was shocked. When you lose <Mike_B>, you know you’ve got problems, Leo.

<triplead> dvorak!
<MrMxyzptlk> ouch
<ToiLeTBuG> No agenda isnt that at all
<Web7991> hes the Man !!!
<Mike_B> Leo:  That was a bit harsh regarding JCD, wasn't it?
<User9468> leo - dont go there.
<User9468> leo--- just move on..
<plus4db> You should have Dvorak on your show sometime.

Dvorak doesn’t seem to understand Leo’s current attitude either.

Leo Laporte Flushes $60,000 Down the Toilet on Vaporware TWiT Apps

Expert business leader, Lisa Kentzell Laporte.
Expert business leader, Lisa Kentzell Laporte.

Leo Laporte got taken to the cleaners again. This time, not by Four Kitchens, but by Indians he hired to write native first-party apps for TWiT.

He has now realized that they “had no idea what they were doing.” After pissing away $60,000 on his first attempt, Soup is simply giving up because there are “great apps” on every platform, including Android where no apps have been updated for 2 years. Developers, like everyone else, are tired of Leo.

Why would a developer choose to work for free, knowing Leo spent $60,000 in an attempt to undermine and eliminate them?

Leo completely wasting $60,000 is unconscionable! That’s almost 3 luxury cruises four Soup and CeHO!.

Leo’s gorgeous wife and CEO, Lisa Kentzell Laporte, is an expert business leader who will shepherd TWiT through its coming expansion contraction into its new office space.