Monthly Archives: June 2015

Misc

Watch the TWiT livestream from the TotalDrama blog

14 Comments
Click “Classic TWiT Livestream” under “Other” at the top of the page to visit our new player with rewind function!

The editorial board at TotalDrama is proud to announce the latest way to screw Leo ‘n’ Lisa out of website views that they trumpet to their advertisers: Watch the livestream on OUR site instead!

Click the “Classic TWiT Livestream” under “Other” at the top of the page to visit our new player with rewind function.

No more pesky clicking around on Leo’s shit website. No more ugly TWiT bug logos to annoy your eyes. And, best of all, our video player allows you to « REWIND « the livestream—something that the new TWiT site has removed from their video player. So now you can sit back and watch Leo’s gaffes, sexist comments and racist blunders as they happen.

The BitGravity stream might still report your click as a view, but you can rest easy knowing that you can watch all the drama from the comfort of your own personal TotalDrama living room, so to speak.

Even as you read this, our engineers and coders are working to bring you the latest and greatest innovations. And we wish to thank you for reading the TotalDrama blog.

News

Mike Elgum Bullies Randal Schwartz

23 Comments
Are ee ess pee ee cee tee
Are ee ess pee ee cee tee

One of the only remaining nice things TWiT does, dating back to the golden era, is give the fans a show about Linux.  FLOSS Weekly was genuinely born in a time when TWiT cared about the audience and not profit.

Another old tradition is not adhering to a schedule and having programs begin on time. When non-professionals like Elgum helm a broadcast, it is paramount that there is no time frame to follow. The length of his show can vary from seventeen minutes to sixty five minutes. He has no control of what happens nor any idea what he is doing, the chances of him starting on time are virtually non-existent.. All the hosts have always been understanding about the malleable calendar.

The girls won't go for this in 2015
The girls won’t go for this bullying in 2015

It seems power hungry News Director Mike Elgum found someone to push around. Although Gum is unable to start or finish his show on schedule he is forcing the kind and generous Randall Schwartz to start his show an hour earlier so as not to dare delay the comedy news show known as TNT. Oh how I long for what once was and what will surely never be again.  The lovely and talented Sarah Lane would never have stood by for this.

Update 1: Hilton was unavailable for comment. We are investigating why he was let go from TWiT and no longer appears in the “people” section. One possible explanation is he never worked there. Speculation that his picture and profile were  put on the site instead of actually hiring someone of color is pure speculation

Misc

New TWiT website is live, and it is pure garbage

101 Comments
Looks just fantastic with the text box slicing through Leo's head and obscuring the audience. I guess that's what $350,000 buys these days.
The new TWiT site looks just fantastic with the text box slicing through Leo’s head and obscuring the audience. I guess that’s what $350,000 buys these days.

BREAKING NEWS: The new TWiT website is live and it is one confusing messy pile of HTML.

Months in the making, Leo couldn’t stop squawking about how amazing and cutting-edge the new site would be—and let me tell you, it is nothing short of underwhelming.

Costing a reported $350,000, it’s a bloated, bewildering junk pile of a revamp. Even Chad Johnson’s Giz Wiz website blows it away in terms of an elegantly finessed portal to content.

Please comment about what you think is wrong with the site, but for now the editorial board at TotalDrama has compiled this short list:

  • The image carousel of “hero” images is too fast and is confusing. Read this for a perspective on why this is just plain bad.
  • Text covers up the middle of the photos, at one point an ugly black box covers the back of Leo’s head as if attempting to slice  through his brain.
  • The TWiT logo on the upper left is a jagged disaster (one would think that $350K could by a properly anti-aliased alpha-transparent PNG).
  • Not one person of color appears on the homepage. So much for diversity.
  • The cartoons on the “Shows” link are a jumbled wreck of amateur-hour kindergarten doodles that appear nothing like what the hosts really look like.
  • More critiques to come, but for now, just repeat this number out loud: $350,000.00. That’s what this disordered muddle cost.
Misc

Leo Laporte Admits He’s a “Dirty Old Man”

37 Comments

Dirty old man.
Dirty old man.
Leo Laporte invited his audience members to sit in his lap, and then realized his mistake, admitting that he is a “dirty old man”.

Total Drama has realized this fact for ages, but it’s nice to hear some self-realization from #Soup.

The Admission

Misc

Chad Johnson throws his credibility into the toilet

53 Comments
Chad says he will include the lower-third during the Little Bits segment to clear up any confusion as to its paid status.
Chad says he will include the lower-third during the Little Bits segment to clear up any confusion as to its paid status.

UPDATE: A proactive and very brave Chad Johnson waded into the morass of the TotalDrama chat and has clarified a few issues regarding the following story. He provided us with the above graphic that he says will appear with the final edited show video; thus substantially clearing up the murky issue of an unpaid mention during the show. Hats off to Chad for taking an open mind to our criticism—it really does seem as if he cares to make things right.

Chad Johnson has seriously jeopardized the future of the "Giz Wiz" by selling out the audience.
Chad Johnson has seriously jeopardized the future of the “Giz Wiz” by selling out the audience.

Chad Johnson is reeling after the live broadcast of his “Giz Wiz” show Thursday evening. At the beginning end of the livestream with Dicky D, Chad was heard to say that he had accepted money for a Little Bits product mention during the show but that it wouldn’t be a traditional ad.

This, of course, flies in the face of his Patreon that had previously had nearly 900 members and was approaching $1000 a show. After hearing of Chad’s attempt to bamboozle his audience, at least two Patreon members pulled their funding, leaving a visibly confused Dick DeBartolo scratching his head and openly questioning Chad’s judgment.

For those out there who might not completely grasp the gravity of this fake ad: Chad has literally thrown his and Dick’s credibility into the toilet with this maneuver. By essentially hoodwinking the audience into thinking that the products and services that are reviewed on the show are taken on their merits and NOT as a result of paid consideration, the audience is left to wonder what is real and what is not. Does Chad talk enthusiastically about a gadget that he recommends because it is indeed worthy? Or did he simply just pimp out a product because he got a little cash?

Time will tell if Chad’s bozo move will result in more Patreon losses. One can only hope that Dicky D will set the youngster straight.

Man of God, Misc

Man of God: Father Robert Ballecer Possibly Admits Felonies on Twitter

33 Comments

Father Robert Ballecer
Fr. Robert Ballecer
This is the Total Drama series Man of God, in which we chronicle the exploits of one Father Robert Ballecer, aka Grimace in a Priest Costume, aka The Digital Jesuit, aka <PadreSJ>, aka FFF, aka <MetalHealthSJ>. Please use our dvr and send in tips with examples of his very Christlike behavior.

In this week’s Man of God, we watch the Jesuit Priest pretend that he is a 31337 comput3r h4ck4r. He pretends he broke into remote computers of those who would have scammed his parents. Liar or felon? You decide. Either way, quite a good Christian/Jesuit representative, don’t you think?

Enjoy

Other than being a tub of lard and creeping people out?
Other than being a tub of lard and creeping people out?
It's "principals", and this is getting creepy.
It’s “principals,” and this is getting creepy.
You literally look like a clown. Literally.
You literally look like a clown. Literally.
Flights of fancy.
Flights of fancy.
You should call Jenny Craig and ask her to slim you down remotely.
You should call Jenny Craig and ask her to slim you down remotely.

Join us in chat to discuss.

Misc

We have the best IRC channel, check it out!

29 Comments

TotalDrama has had an active and entertaining IRC channel for a while now. But we have new members coming to the blog everyday, so we just wanted to take the time to let you know that you can participate too on the web chat.

Here’s a recent example of the chatroom activity by our very own Mick:

<Mick> Today's Live Schedule, Wednesday, June 10 (All Times Pacific)

<Mick> 11am Windows Weekly. A menopausal woman makes beer in the bathtub of her New York City studio apartment until the neighbors complain about a vile odor coming from 15H. Follow the continuing saga of her eviction proceedings.

<Mick> 1PM TWiG. Jeff Jarvis will be surprised with a GoFundMe to receive Invisalign treatment.

<Mick> 5PM iFive for the iPhone.  A new name for the same old show where Leo Laporte gets his perv on

<Mick> 6PM Ham Nation.  Five geezers and a shockingly obese woman build contraptions to bounce radio signals off the ionosphere in a frantic effort to communicate without using a telephone. Spoiler Alert: On the final episode of this series, someone tells them about AOL Instant Messenger.

<Mick> Looks like yet another fucking ass fun filled TWiT day
Misc

You have got to be kidding me

14 Comments
Look at this stupid fuck wearing a hat indoors.
Look at this stupid fuck wearing a hat indoors.

On yesterday’s “MacBreak Weekly” there was a stupid fuck wearing a cowboy hat indoors. No word on if Christina Warren is envious of Aaron Hillegass’s stupid-ass head covering. Hillegass is head of something ridiculous called Big Nerd Ranch that is basically dedicated to selling shit to dopes.

When word got out that the cowboy-hat wearing dumbfuck was in the studio, one can well imagine that in a dream that Padre got so excited by the idea that maybe a cow was nearby that he could park his cock in that he might have woken up in a cold sweat.

Misc

Hitler Finds Out About Leo Laporte’s Dick Pics

14 Comments

Guest SubmissionWe didn’t make this, but it was sent in to us using our feedback system, and we thought it deserved to be seen by everyone. Sometimes you need a bit of humor to counteract the depressing cesspool of sitting-around-a-table bullshit TWiT has become.

Credit goes to Leichewow. Check out the other videos in the channel if you have time as well. Lots of good content.

Video

Misc

Night Attack Heaps Praise on Leo

36 Comments
DIAF
DIAF

Total Drama sent in a nice video for the Night Attack pre-show. Justin and Brian decided to take the opportunity to clarify that there is no beef between <> and TWiT and that Leo Laporte is a great man, despite the great schism. Justin and Brian are now dead to TWiT, but they’re better men and have taken the high road.

Enjoy the video