All posts by Effen Dumb

Misc

TN_?

16 Comments

Nine months without a sick, personal or vacation day. The TWiT news director will finally be taking a little R&R next week. Filling in, on Thursday, will be none other than San Francisco’s golden girl, the lovely and talented Sarah Lane. Many experts have said that this shuffling may be a harbinger of things to come.

Morning or Night?
Morning sunshine or moonlit nights?

The year long contract is coming to a close on the current front man and the heir-apparent may already be waiting in the wings. With her lightened schedule after the recent purging of programs past their primes, she certainly has some time on her hands. Is this sassy sweety the answer to moving the network beyond the founder?

A rumor has surfaced that Laporte may even be putting the heat on IRC staff to reprieve all chat room bans in honor of Lane’s triumphant return to prime time. Could this be the moment he leaves behind the pettiness and returns to an era of magnanimousity? magnanmousness? magnamaneous? F.U. spell check.  Others have speculated that a Mary Heart styled desk may even be in the works if the switcheroo is pulled off. That’ll be one short complaint line – for sure!

Not your average gams
Not your average gams!

Current TD Jason Howell has been seen whispering unusually softly and unusually often to Miss Lane in their little cubical hideaway. (Nothing torrid as Howell is a happily married man) Could Howell be longing for the days of managing only single digit Skype connections?

Fans of Miss Lane know her machinations quite well. If the hair is up, TNT is not in her future, if the hair is down, it’s a maybe, but if the hair is down and to the side, you may want to bet it all on this prognostication.  If she wears her purple top, JammerB may as well set that chairs height with cement. Many fans were quite impressed with the chemistry between Elise Hu and Sarah, could Hu be a future co-host as Lane leaves the rotating host nonsense behind? Hu wouldn’t jump in bed with these two for their daily dose of tech news? Would TWiT actually become a leader in diversity?

Which way do I go?
Which way do I go?

TN2 numbers started small but have been steadily trending upwards as more people learn of the high production value show.  We are all aware that the marketing, of which there is none, is certainly not what has been propelling this show forward. As an example of the marketing prowess, the fans hoping for alternating hosts to present The Week Ahead on the TWiT program were met with a resounding “nah.” Lane is not particularly fond of waking up with the roosters after a night of wine drinking and dancing to the latest Funk Master Flex album. But David Letterman always had a soft spot for the The Tonight Show even after his move to CBS, and this spunky ball of sass may have her big eyes eying the big show as well. The only thing that could be said for certain: We will all be as fixated on this story as Laporte is when walking behind a fit Petaluma house-wife in black yoga pants. Who knows, Miss Lane may get her 4.7 inch gold iPhone just yet.

**Full Disclosure: Richard Yes is a devout feminist**

Misc

Fare Yee Well

15 Comments

Please. if you work at TWiT, you need to be safe. Speaking about the network without explicit authorization has become dangerous to your careers.

All employees of TWiT must obey the network and not speak out.

Anotherone bites the dust.
Another one bites the dust.

Current employees, you must be careful who you associate with. You are only permitted to be friends with a certified list available at the TWiT HQ. BB&J were struck down for going public about their banning. They spoke the truth and that was dealt with accordingly. Now Shannon is being handled for having the audacity to be open on QFP and NA or was it an “lol” at a tweeted joke.  Was her crime really tweeting “lol.” Is that it? Can we not think of millions of awful things #soup has said.

Gina Trapani has had her (first) name mocked. Why, Seinfeld devoted an entire episode to a female name… Apple employees best be careful of the Tim Cook joke.

The arrogance in the following statement is scary:

 [21:27:49] <~Leo> and we have another host who has decided to act very negatively toward me

And people of Drama, please, let us keep our actions lawful and civil, think about what we do in keeping with the one and only mission of spreading truth. Laugh, joke and mock but lets not get carried away. Firing people is not a crime nor is filling the airwaves with propaganda. Just get the truth out. (Leo is not Saddam Hussein and the mods are not Nazis)

Misc

TWiT comeback on the Horizon

7 Comments

Viewers of the Dropcom, TWiT’s mechanical eye in the sky, were greeted with an unusual sight on Saturday. What was first thought to be a spontaneous game of Ring Around the Rosy, turned out to be the often anonymous sales team holding hands and dancing around the studio. What caused the glee?

Needs help keeping track of his money.
Needs help keeping track of his money.

Inside sources reveal that a milestone event was achieved. For the first time in nine months a viewer used the forgotten offer code TNT. The viewer known as Chickenhead was unavailable for comment, but TWiT founder and propaganda connoisseur had this to say, “I could not be happier with the job Gum is doing, he is knocking it out of the park.” Could this be a sign that the troubled network is poised for a comeback?  Not likely.

Misc

Stresslemania

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Well it sure was a stress ridden week. Just as Moses was cast from Egypt and his name stricken from the books of the great kingdom, so too B&J were banished from twit.tv

In order to lessen the burden and relieve some tension, Cap’n Juno ended his one week retirement. I was placed on sound duty so I pressed more buttons to help the headphones people. My skillz were weak but I did all I could.

A fact to note: Since I was tasked to help with sound, I forsook my duty to fix spelling/typos. There are often many such errors. But do not think less of the Captain, he never had a country to call home or language to call his own.

Without a roar from the MGM lion I present, for your viewing pleasure, a deep dive into lies:

Misc

That’s your job

17 Comments

Image006There was a recent tweet, pictured below, that brought to light another example of the mismanagement of TWiT. When you see Laporte telling the host of a show (Sarah Lane) how much money he sinks into her show it is wrong on so many levels. TWiT is not “old media” it is actually worse than old media. By the way, this maniac attributes the money spent on iPad Today  to Sarah and the money earned to himself….And Laporte claims that two people at #TotalDrama are mentally ill?

The way a network should be run is a host/producer should have one job only. To make a good show. There are other people in charge of selling ads who are under Lisa, (albeit someone with zero sales experience.) They also should have one person responsible for media, social media, maybe placing an ad, maybe making sure they book hosts to appear on other podcasts, radio shows etc.

Instead, the duo that is incapable of taking any blame puts everything on the host. Why da heck should a host be responsible or even know what the rent is. If TWiT ran 60 shows a week the allocated rent to (ie) OMGCraft would obviously be less than it is if they run 25 shows a week. That is totally outside his realm and his show’s “cost” should have NOTHING to do with how many shows TWiT does. Instead, they make that a burden on hosts.

This image is not relevant to story
This image is not relevant to story

The sales department is grossly negligent as are other departments. If the Sopranos aired on TWiT it would have been cancelled. They really need some talented management there, this boat is sinking fast and more and more talent is leaving. Chad, if you make a good show and it gets tons of downloads on YouTube and does not get downloads from TWiT or have ads sold that is not your failing. That is management’s fault.

Leo also claims all the income from the website ads, the merchandise etc, that all goes in Leos column. Conversely, they meticulously attribute every cost to the shows. Why do they not do likewise with revenue.

All the shows that will live forever and earn money on YouTube, guess who gets that? YouTube revenue is miniscule, but they will end up with thousands and thousands of shows, a nice annuity to subsidize future soup purchases without giving a dime to the hosts. Nice scam soup, I think the cast of Giligan’s Island got a more talent friendly deal in 1964.

The network effect is a great thing and something Diamond Club needs to learn fast. There is a lot of benefit to everyone gained by teaming up. Hopefully <> will not suffer the same fate as one bone-idle-glutton.

Misc

“I have a theory that the truth is never told during the nine-to-five hours” H.S. Thompson

13 Comments

October eighth will be a day which will live in infamy. After a longer hiatus than TWiF, the eagerly anticipated Inside TWiT returns. Laporte is scheduled to talk lie about the recent show cancellations, his treatment of Amber MacArthur, the masked host who betrays him, the troll problem and of course the N.A. banning.

Untitled

The NA banning seems to be the most anticipated nugget. Will Laporte speak true? Unlikely. But how does he respond? In my mentally ill head and based on my knowledge of the sociopath, he has two options:

1) Laugh it off and say ‘of course Brian is not banned I love Brian’ but never invite him on again.
2) Shit all over Brian for being a troll and say he is banned, until he needs him (alla Dvorak banning) and then have him back on TWiT.

Let us know what you think:


survey solutions

Sarah’s noise-cancelling headset will be off for this can’t-miss-TV.

Misc

Leo Laporte & Richard Yes Making Peace?

1 Comment

Both Laporte and Richard Yes were heard saying “F the TD” at the exact same moment. Have they reached an understanding. See if you can spot when they uttered the utterance in unison.

Could this be the start of a truce between the mentally ill RichardYea and the lecherous Laporte? Have they found a common ground.

If you missed the exact moment they said “FU-TD” click here:
Continue reading Leo Laporte & Richard Yes Making Peace? →

Misc

Justin & Brian Dead to TWiT

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Sometimes people tell the truth, one does not need to edit, crop, cut or juxtapose, you can even forgo Ken Burns effect, you just need to listen:

Facts:
Soup returns and is confronted with questions about the ban.
Soup proclaims they are “not banned.” (probably another lie)
Soup gets mad over nonsensical reason and bans them
-This three-act play took place in just four hours–

Will these guys finally realize that TWiT is totally insane? Apparently TWiT was upset about the openness B&J exhibited, specifically the comment that TWiT “don’t care about content creators.”
Bullshit.

Laporte has prides himself on his openness with his audience.

I can do anything
I can do anything

This man has publicly mocked (Merritt’s) TNT. He ridiculed No Agenda as conspiracy theory nonsense. He said Brian & Tom stole Framerate.  He said Lamar Wilson stole his show. He wished death on Steve Jobs. He lied about what Erik Lanigan did and ruined his life. He embarrassed the head chat mod for running his IRC for ten years. (<-that I’d let slide) He called Andrew Zarian a slut. He mocked Pirillo after he was blessed with his first child.He said he couldn’t afford Tom. He insinuated bad things about Iyaz for resigning by email whilst he fired Lanigan by text and he forgot to mention to Amber her contract was terminated. He said Kevin Rose and Dvorak copied him. I forget what he said about Dvorak and O’dell. He humiliated the lovely and talented Sarah Lane on camera. He complained about how much money Veronica charged him. Shira Lazaar and many others  got too big for him………And Brian and Jury went too far? They are dead to TWiT?

The first ban justification was “leaving with ads” the second was “trolling” and now “what they said on air.” This is the same fabricated story-after-story pattern he enacted to explain why Merritt was not rehired. How many videos does Captain Juno have to make documenting these lies? And if you’re a fan and still taking Leo’s side, please think about it. Don’t blindly follow. If you agree with him fine, but please let this stuff swirl around in your brain and then form an opinion. If you currently work at TWiT, be realistic before shunning these two guys and exacerbating the problem.

And Leo should not get mad at Amber MacArthur for her tweet about not knowing she was cancelled. Maybe the self-obsessed knucklehead should have called her. She speaks about him like he is royalty. Will he turn on her too?

Do what Merritt did, divorce yourself from that network and erase them from your memory.

Approximately 38 days ago Helloworld discovered twitter and  was asking what “RT” and “MT” were and  “how do you favorite something?”

The purple-faced Jeff Jarvis
Obsessed with Helloworld

Then he started having fun on twitter with Jarvis, Gumbot, #soup and company. He made some fake twitter accounts with zero followers and said some hilarious mean shit to those people. And now, today, some of these great thinkfluencers  are writing articles, dedicating podcasts and going on worldwide speaking tours to discuss Helloworld or what they call “the massive troll dilemma on the Internet.”. Has the world gone mad? I swear, the kid is seriously going to get legislation enacted because of his actions for a few lulz. Helloworld, playing on his iPhone, probably while taking a dump is going to change the world. Jarvis will eventually be speaking to the US congress about this, mark my words. (not really but)

But can twit make fun (troll) of news outlets?

It is infuriating. TWiT ridicules the US Senate, the US supreme court, mainstream media, the EU, China, Russia, major corporations, CEO’s, clickbait journalists, native advertisers, FCC Chairmen, fans, everyone under the sun but if you make fun of them you’re a troll?

Numbers R fun
Numbers R fun

It is sweet that Brian, Justin and Tom all had nice things to say about TWiT upon their departures. It shows a modicum of dignity and appreciation for what they were given, but wake up. TWiT lied to you in order to not pay you. Jesus Christ, last week he told Sarah Ipad Today costs $400,000 a year. [retraction – meant 400K all time which is probably right. He just neglected the detail of the income made off the show] [retracted] He lies through his teeth. Distance yourself from TWiT. I wish no ill will on anyone in Pataluma. I hope they all do well but it is time to move on. The man only makes $350,000 annually from radio gaga yet he throws money away like garbage. He pays his GF about 200k a year for seventeen hours work a week. Every show does not lose money, awake from your slumber Rip Van Winkle. Why does “TWiT needs a new business model” because of exiting talent? Every show that left was “a money sink” according to him. Those two statements do not jive.

Laporte needs to do some serious introspection and do a  Mea Culpa. He needs to find this from within, no one around him will guide him. If you look around and see everyone you have previously worked with is hating you and your fans are leaving you maybe maybe it’s not everyone else with the problem. Many people do not know the end of the story of the man with the Midas touch. He almost died. King Midas starved because his food turned to gold and he was unable to eat.

What do I know? I am just another moron fan in the chat.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Strawpoll <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
Screenshot 2014-10-06 11.13.46