Viewers of the Dropcom, TWiT’s mechanical eye in the sky, were greeted with an unusual sight on Saturday. What was first thought to be a spontaneous game of Ring Around the Rosy, turned out to be the often anonymous sales team holding hands and dancing around the studio. What caused the glee?
Inside sources reveal that a milestone event was achieved. For the first time in nine months a viewer used the forgotten offer code TNT. The viewer known as Chickenhead was unavailable for comment, but TWiT founder and propaganda connoisseur had this to say, “I could not be happier with the job Gum is doing, he is knocking it out of the park.” Could this be a sign that the troubled network is poised for a comeback? Not likely.
The end of TWiT is near, but how long is left? We all struggle to know fact from fiction when our main source of information is a pathological liar. Weeding our way through the web of deceit to get to the truth is what we are about here at #TotalDrama, so I shall pick up the gauntlet.
The murkiest of all the lies, center on the state of TWiT finances. Every single show the #soupguzzler does not host is losing money? TNT ratings are back at the level they were in 2013? TWiT has been growing 10 percent a year? Ninety percent of record revenue is from #soup’s shows? How can we possibly be expected to believe any of this?
What Do I Believe?
Information is available to the diligent. We can all look at the YouTube numbers and see there is a direct correlation between YT views and downloads. We also see the ads—how many, how often and from whom. The lease on the studio is up on March 31, 2015. The young talent has fled. Leo is 57 years old. From all this, much can be deduced.
TWiT is in Serious Trouble
Let’s begin our examination: Back in 2013, “Tech News Today” generated the most revenue for the network. It was on five days a week and always ran three ads. Yes, it was an expensive program. But all the show hosts worked on other TWiT programs, to which their wages should be allocated. The daily show, in turn, anchored the live views. There was an amazing synergy between TWiT and other internet personalities, networks and publications. “iPad Today” and “All About Android” were new shows—and they were hits. Suckers were found in abundance to buy the crap T-shirts they hocked every week. Live viewership grew everyday. The Fatman was happy at what he saw and said, “It was good what I made.”
New Year, New Problems
2014? The drop in live views is palpable. The bans and kicks have taken their toll on the chatroom. Sub-par hosts like the soulless Mike Elgum and the Hawaiian Priest with an unnatural affinity for performing in a 1920’s radio voice, dominate the programing. We have not seen some of the biggest and brightest stars on the network at all in 2014. The list is long: Veronica Belmont, Scott Johnson, Justin Young, Nilay Patel, Molly Wood, Shira Lazar, Ijustine, Felicia Day, Joshua Topolsky, Adam Curry, Cali Lewis. More so, many regulars like Scoble and Brushwood and even the legendary John C. Dvorak are growing tired of the self-destructive Laporte. His weight gain is sapping his energy; and he looks about ready to fall asleep at any moment.
The ads are few and far between. Ford has been replaced with Personal Capital, a company that sells nothing. Hover has been replaced with a loan shark. Leo’s laments of his dwindling fortune in chat while drinking alcohol are epic and equally as sad. His lethargic attitude and near-total lack of professionalism are infecting everyone. A common phrase resounds in the SHiThouse: “I don’t care, just leave it.”
The network growth hit a brick wall and shrinkage is here now. (No pithy play on words comes to mind.) The arrogant Laporte will never admit mistakes, and both the CEO and News Director are spineless. He has surrounded himself with sycophants, from his staff to his chatroom. He is aware that the river of money has been dammed. Radford, Shannon and others are being cut. Editors are forced to stay late as more shows are squeezed out of the overworked and underpaid staff. But no new shows are working—the life is gone. A sad reality is settling in.
When the lease comes due he will not renew. He will broadcast the four big shows from his mansion and the employees will be cut loose. Lives will be ruined to maintain his extravagant lifestyle. Lgum will be thanked and spanked and will resume his wandering through the world’s coffee shops; getting tossed for squatting in a multitude of languages. The end is near. And it has a date.
So it is written, so it shall be done.
Exposing The Dark Underbelly of TWiT, Leo Laporte, and Failed CEO Lisa Laporte