Man of God: Father Robert Ballecer Insults Transgendered People

Father Robert Ballecer
Fr. Robert Ballecer
Today we introduce our new series, Man of God, in which we chronicle the exploits of one Father Robert Ballecer, aka Grimace in a Priest Costume, aka The Digital Jesuit, aka <PadreSJ>, aka FFF, aka <MetalHealthSJ>. Please use our dvr and send in tips with examples of his very Christlike behavior.

In this week’s Man of God, we watch the obese, gluttonous (deadly sin) medical waste sack in a priest costume sing a song demeaning those with non-cisgendered gender identities and then introduce one such person. Myriam deserves better than being called a “he” multiple times by both #Soup and #FFF.

When Padre isn’t busy telling people to “Suck it.”, he spends his time wasting money on drones, pretending to interview people while grinning/nodding at the camera, and doxxing critics on Twitter (who he gets banned from the chatroom).

Enjoy

Padre’s Response

We take a few issues with his response.

  1. We very rarely enter their chat room. They attribute everyone who hates TWiT to Total Drama. We have our own one-way bridge to see what they say. We don’t need to be there ourselves. We certainly don’t go there to insult transgendered people. That’s Padre’s job.
  2. Amateurish editing?? OK. We’ll give him that one.
  3. The indignation is real and there is more to come in the Man of God series.
  4. We agree with him about “watch for yourself”. Our DVR contains up to two weeks of live TWiT video. We encourage you to skip back to 34:00 on the “14:00 Friday May 8, 2015” video and watch the entire pre-show for yourself, in which Leo and Padre dox one of Total Drama’s members.

    He’d rather you download the edited copy with all the pre-show insensitivities edited out, but you can see for yourself, only here at Total Drama.

Fr. Ballecer's Response
How dare he?

News Director Mike Elgan Ridicules Former Guest for Healthy Lifestyle Choices

Are you not entertained?
Are you not entertained?
Not content to simply stutter and gulp through prepared readings from a teleprompter, Elgum and #Cokerage decided it was fine to make fun of a former guest on-air with impunity. He could not even remember Greg’s name. Total Drama remembers.

Why, you may ask, is Greg the subject of an infantile dolt’s ire? Because he had the audacity to use a standing desk with a treadmill to stay healthy while working from home. We admire Greg Ferenstein for his courage in dealing with Gum, and we are sorry he is now the subject of the imbecile’s idiotic smirks, chuckles, table drumming, and freestyle humming.

Update: Response from Gum

Enough of that.

Leo Laporte Treated Jolie O’Dell as a Sexual Object

Leo can't help himself, even with works of art.
Leo can’t help himself, even with works of art.
This Sunday’s TWiT was the scene of an incredible display of how Leo Laporte feels women are beneath him. Most people would be ashamed if they acted this way when they were drunk.

But Leo Laporte wasn’t drunk; he was sober. He gawked and whistled at Jolie O’Dell, a reporter who happens to be a woman. This fact alone targeted her for his chauvinistic glances and glares. It allowed him to go after her with a sexual fervor unseen in the workplace since the 50s and 60s.

There’s not much more to say. Watch this video and come discuss it with us in our live chat.

Jeff Needles Quits TWiT

Update 2: Jeff Noodles now works for Meerkat, defying #Soup’s “couldn’t handle the heat” asssumption.
Leo has clarified that Jeff Needles “couldn’t take the heat” and that is the reason he quit. He also confirmed that Noodles does not currently have a job lined up. Please see the video below.

Seen here in better days.
Seen here in better days.
Jeff Needles, intrepid producer and head woman-voice impersonator at TWiT, announced last night that he is leaving TWiT. We are grieving with our friends at TWiT over their loss.

No longer were we able to have Noodles snivel in the background of The Giz Wiz once Chad was fired by #Soup. Perhaps Noodles couldn’t bear the memory of Chad when he entered the TWiT shithouse.

Stupid Meerkat Rig (first of many)
Stupid Meerkat Rig (first of many)
We may never know. What we do know is that Jeffrey Noodles seized on the hipster opportunity of a lifetime when Meerkat launched. Unable to contain himself, he outfitted himself with an idiotic iPhone camera rig and began streaming himself 24/7 on Meerkat until #Soup put the kibosh on that in-studio. Perhaps the anger due to the Meerkat limitations pushed Noodles over the edge?

Fare thee well, Hiawatha.
Fare thee well, Hiawatha.
Noodles has been hard at work on his new product, Meerkat Stats, and perhaps he thinks he can monetize it. Meerkat is really stupid, so we won’t bother following that to find out.

Farewell, Noodles! Farewell. We only regret that we never got to see the left side of your head in pictures.

<bamfy86> Hey all, did Jeff_N really quit his job last night?
<&Dan> bamfy86: are you here to start trouble or just be annoying?
<bamfy86> Dan: That seems like a false choice. Just looking for confirmation, but I'll be quiet about it if that's what you want!
<&Dan> yeah, it is what i want.

Extra picture we can't ever use again.
Extra picture we can’t ever use again.
This story was sent in as a tip. Keep them coming. We can’t do it without you. We are all Total Drama.  #IAmTotalDrama

Jeff Needles quit because he couldn’t take the heat

https://youtu.be/LUax5DJPxaY

#domaingate

It’s not what you think.

It may be the Leo Laporte is obsessed with totaldrama or just not operating normally but right now domains are hot.

hilaryclinton.net
carlyfiorina.org
thenewscreensavers.net
tekguylabs.com
wellheyheyhey.com

Which one really angers you? Probably none of them. Leo however hates at least two. (He has admitted that wellheyheyhey.com is pretty awesome).

Leo does not like someone, AKA the one ass, is registering domains that his elite staff didn’t. He has determined that there is an enemy and it is I.

Carly and Hilary are approaching the same jokers with more equanimity, using the publicity to promote their individual campaigns. I get threats. Doesn’t really seem fair. But I have big shoulders and can carry the weight and responsibility. I also have a crew of bikers (mountain) who will surround me on my jaunts from the basement.

No videos from me today. Boring, booooo!. I know. But editing takes time, just ask Lisa. Leo has reported that she spent most of the night trying to craft the last disaster known as TheNewScreenSavers into a masterpiece. Adobe Premier is not her friend. Look forward to more off-site editors as Lisa decides that this editing thing is greatly overrated. Will the great Jason Howell be the next to hit the bricks? We pray no as he is one of the last guiding lights at TWiT.

There are no other trolls here. Keep moving along, nothing to see. But if you have some complaints send them in. We promise to read them all and make smart comments.

Leo Laporte is Causing Viewers to Threaten Members of Total Drama

Hilton A. Goring could not be reached for comment.
Hilton A. Goring could not be reached for comment.
Habitual liar and soup guzzler Leo Laporte this week felt he figured out who Total Drama is. He is desperate for his fan base to believe it’s one person, but as stated previously, We Are All Total Drama. We know he doesn’t believe that it’s #OneAss, but he needs his audience to believe it so they don’t find Total Drama. Tell everyone you know and join us in our live chat.

Witness Leo Go After a Critic Mercilessly On-Air

Ask yourself: “What “celebrity” does this with their bully pulpit, other than Leo Laporte?”

One sycophant's threats for which #Soup is responsible. It will probably not be the last.
One sycophant’s threats for which #Soup is responsible. It will probably not be the last.

Leo Laporte Humiliated His Segway Delivery Man On-Air

Human wastebucket, Leo Laporte, used his troll show he co-hosts with King Troll Jeff Jarvis, This Week in Google, as a platform to absolutely humiliate an innocent person on-air whose crime was to deliver his two fatty scooters to CeHO at his mansion on Wednesday. CeHO took delight in surreptitiously taking a photo of the delivery man’s ass-crack and then sent it to #Soup who was on the air and declared the man’s naked buttocks “fair game” for all to see. #Soup even used the poor man’s anal region in the show title.

El Gordo
El Gordo
Not much else to say on this one except watch the video below. Leo Laporte crowed today about riding them to work. Leo’s house is 2.2 miles away (driving distance) from the TWiT studio, and a 15 minute bike ride. It’s intensely disgusting and disappointing how far Leo has fallen since the respectable (minus the alleged sexual harassment) TechTV days.

Visit us in our live chat room during The Tech Guy and The New Screen Savers to discuss this and other moral failings of Leo Laporte.

OMGchad Continues Crushing It Outside Leo Laporte’s Clutches

The Editorial Board would like to congratulate Chad Johnson (@OMGchad) on the first non-TWiT episode of The Giz Wiz.

It's true.
It’s true.

Leaving the nest worked out well, for OMGcraft and now The Giz Wiz. We’re still bitter about RedditUp. Chad used a custom setup with a few webcams, Skype, and a small switcher remote (pictured below) combined with some software to make a production to rival and surpass TWiT’s million dollar studio.

On that topic, take a look at the Giz Wiz website that was put together in a few days by t2t2 and blendermf. It cost effectively nothing, since Chad has smart friends, was thrown together in a few days, and it still looks and works better than #Soup’s $350k abortion of a site.

If you like The Giz Wiz and want to ensure its future success, donate to the Giz Wiz Patreon. Total Drama is not affiliated with The Giz Wiz or Chad in any way. We’re just fans. Good luck, Chad!

Interesting (“inner resting” for Patrick Norton) aspects of the show and chat:

  1. FatFuckSJ tried to tell them how to run their audio production in their chat (not part of TWiT’s chat).
  2. ScooterX was in their chat (with no power, which is funny).
  3. The shutins/sheep were going nuts without mods, like asylum patients set free and who don’t know how to live on the outside. Dr_Mom freaked out about someone saying a wordy dirty.
  4. No one was K-Lined or muted.
  5. They don’t go into nazi mode there because of us running a bridge, unlike #twitlive. In fact, they gave us permission.
What isn't really?
What isn’t really?

TWiT Morons Misspell Their Own City in the First Episode of The New Screen Savers

Incompetent buffoons Leo and Lisa can’t manage a new flagship show debut without misspelling the first lower third on the screen. Did they have EffenDumb (Jason C. Cleanthes) on the job?

Possibly homeless man announcing the first episode of "The New Screen Savers"
Possibly homeless man announcing the first episode of “The New Screen Savers”

This story was sent in as a tip. Keep them coming; we can’t do it without you. We are all Total Drama.  #IAmTotalDrama

Our tipster writes:

In literally the first scene of the first episode of TNSS, they misspelled Petaluma in the lower third…. Off to a great start.

When this show is a HUMONGOUS success and historians look back on the first episode, I’m sure they will be nothing but impressed.

In case you think we’re liars like Leo Laporte, it’s still in the posted episode as of the posting of this article, but we suspect they will fix it after this post (at least in the download version).

Former commenter Molly apparently happy with TotalDrama now

We can't get enough of the shit on TWiT.
TotalDrama is proud to have been a part in commenter Molly’s sudden change of heart.

Former prolific commenter and unofficial Laporte family apologist Molly has been quiet as of late in TD’s comments section. Speculation is mounting that Molly is no longer in a white-hot rage and has calmed down and is now taking a dim view of the proceedings inside the Shithouse.

Molly apparently has been won over to the TotalDrama side in the view that Leo is an evil suckpig with no intention of ever engaging humanity on a realistic level. Congratulations, Molly—we are so happy you’ve seen the light. Welcome!

Exposing The Dark Underbelly of TWiT, Leo Laporte, and Failed CEO Lisa Laporte