Mallory Ortberg sets back female tech reporters with her filthy mouth

Update 2: Mallory has parlayed her rude manners and denial of service attack on this website into an invitation to a real show (i.e. not TWiT). We guess bad manners and setting women back worked out well for her.

Update 1: Mallory is not taking this seriously and is displaying immature behavior congruent with her language on TWiT’s live stream.

Video of the Incident

Female tech reporter Mallory Ortberg thinks it’s fine to be unprofessional and curse on the family-friendly TWiT network’s program “Tech News Today” with Megan Morrone. One has to wonder why she has chosen to set women tech reporters back with her unladylike and frankly filthy language.

It’s not lost on the editorial board at Total Drama that Mallory has basically chosen to hide in the darkness of her basement like a troll. We’re not sure if it’s because she’s trying to hide her fat in the shadows, or if she truly believes that she can just curse and cuss her way through her appearance if she thinks we can’t see her. Either way, she’s a disgrace to women in tech.

Megan thinks this is funny.
Megan thinks this is funny.

I mean, it’s one thing to be a douche like Andrew Keen when he unleashed a barrage of “F” bombs to sink the Royal Navy, but we expect that jerk to be a real piece of work. A sweet (albeit dog-ugly) broad like Mallory, however, is a completely different story and she is indeed quite shocking in her vulgarity.

Doesn’t she know how hard women in tech work to not be viewed as unprofessional posers? Thanks a lot, Mallory, you have set the cause back quite a ways with this childlike stunt and you have possibly forever damaged Megan Morrone’s chances of being taken seriously as a woman anchoring one of TWiT’s signature programs. Megan can barely contain herself as Mallory dirties up the show with her salty language; this coming mere days after male host Mike Elgan was fired as host of TNT.

Looks like it will be quite a while longer until women are looked upon with any amount of regard until they can clean up their acts. Tweet Mallory to let her know that we’re on to her little game and she shouldn’t be allowed to drag female tech reporters down into the pig trough with her.

BREAKING: Mike Elgan Unceremoniously Fired by TWiT

Village Idiot
Village Idiot

First they fired Content Czar Joe’s ass from Tech News Today, but today the other shoe drops: Lisa Laporte put Mike Elgan’s pizza oven baking, middle eastern traveling ass out on the Peatluma curb.

Mike Elgan no longer works at TWiT, LLC. The malfunctioning robot will no longer be seen smiling while reading tragic murder stories, smirking for no reason at the camera, or saying “how the heck are ya?” to various guests before asking where they’re geographically located.

Was it because:

Hilton A. Goring could not be reached for comment.
Hilton A. Goring could not be reached for comment.

Whatever the cause, we knew there was trouble in paradise once Leo started openly insulting Mike on one of TWiT’s flagship shows.

Possibly-racist Megan Morrone will be hosting Tech News Today for the rest of 2015, including today — which had no accompanying announcement on-air — which should be terrifyingly boring, since Megan can’t even use an Apple TV remote and certainly knows nothing about tech.

As of January 4, 2016, Jason Howell will join the show and TWiT will attempt to recapture the energy of Buzz Out Loud and later the Tech News Today that didn’t suck with Sarah, iYaz, and Jason. Megan will ruin everything, but it can’t be worse than Mork Elgon, right?


Christina Warren gets her fuckin’ cunty bra all twisted up over SNL sketch

Christina Warren probably thinks this sketch was about her. Well, honey, it wasn't so shut the fuck up.
Christina Warren probably thinks this sketch was about her. Well, honey, it wasn’t so shut the fuck up.

Christina Warren, infamous greasy-haired cunt, is all up in arms about an insightful “Saturday Night Live” sketch that ran this weekend featuring a ditzy tech reporter. Ring a bell, Christina?

We think the lady reporter doth protest too much. Or maybe it’s because Christina just can’t admit that women aren’t funny. Either way, she sucks. Be sure to read the comments section under her article at Mashable; she’s takin’ it on the chin. Read her horrible story here.

Here’s one example of the critical comments on her article that Christina Warren has decided to take to Twitter and rail against:

I think Tech Reporters in general are the worst reporters and it feels like they are the bottom of the class at journalism school, if they went to journalism school. There is so much vocal fry and up-speak it is comical. So to me, this was a way to address 1/2 the problem. They probably noticed a lot of the female reporters are super cute. The men have their own issues. As an example, the recent Yahoo story. Absolutely no one in tech will check sources, nor add a thought to a story. They just regurgitate every other story. The whole industry is about clicks. Look at what Mashable has become. The tech press is awful, besides The Information and Kara Swisher. Zero reporters did research about the Hoax Clock Kid. The main stream press found out about his sister. There was only first reaction outrage from tech blogs. There is a reason the industry is dominated by blogs and not publications. Why did they pick on women? That was a comedy angle to make a joke that they were not real reporters. Another joke could have worked too but that was their comic license.

It really is worth the time to read the Twitter conversation between Christina Warren and Joanna Stern; they touch on everything from lesbian reporters to how “dreamy” Ryan Gosling is. It’s both sad and hilarious to witness these two ditzy broads carry on completely unaware of their hypocrisy.

Leo Laporte Harassed by White Man in White Chef’s Hat

Guest SubmissionThis video was provided to us courtesy of Dan Hohlfeld. He provided the following description:

While Leo is shoveling his salad down a cross eyed chef watches in the distance. Leo tells him to hold on but he just cannot wait to grace himself in the presence of Leo Laporte. As he enters the room he brags about how he can eat whatever he wants.

Thanks, Dan! Please submit your tips and creations using our tips functionality or chat with us any time.

Patrick Norton looks like total shit

Patrick Norton looks like hell. Nice runny nose, Patrick.
Patrick Norton looks like hell. Nice runny nose, Patrick.

Patrick Norton looks like total shit. Check out the screen grab from his most-recent solo performance on “This Week in Computer Hardware.” Sans Ryan Shrout, the ever-runny-nosed Norton was fumbling about like a wino searching for his bottle (and looked even worse). Perhaps Patrick is an alcoholic? He at least should hope for any kind of excuse for those blood-red eyes, otherwise he should probably get looked at by a brain-tumor specialist.

Anyway, why does Leo continue to support this loser? Patrick’s heyday was so long ago that we at Total Drama don’t even remember why he’s even marginally famous in the tech community.

It’s time for this barely-employed fuck to shuffle on outta here. Leo likes to make fun of some members of the editorial board here at Total Drama for “living in our basements” but take a look at the above picture and tell us who’s living in a basement. Hint: It’s none of us.

Leo Laporte’s Fatlogic

Leo Laporte’s fatlogic is a source of wonder and yet is scientifically sound. We at Total Drama are confused why Leo Laporte could possibly have been diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes. How could this be, especially in a world where fatlogic reigns supreme?

A list of totally true Fatlogic Facts® regarding Leo Laporte:

  1. Leo never drinks soda or juice and is peeved that he didn’t gorge himself on corn syrup to get fatter sooner.
  2. He never overeats.
  3. It’s genetic.
  4. His body doesn’t obey the laws of thermodynamics: He eats fewer calories than he burns and still gains weight.
  5. Leo exercises so that means he can eat whatever he wants in any amount he wants.
  6. He likes pasta but doesn’t think he eats it to excess.

Leo goes on to talk about how people in the South drink sweet tea and a bunch of other boring stuff. We prepared a post two weeks ago with nearly 30 minutes of Leo talking about his confirmed diabetes diagnosis, but we never posted it (because we don’t want to bore our readers to death.) Let us know in the comments section if there is any interest in seeing the entire video.

There may not be much of a point to posting the video, because Leo talks constantly about diabetes and specifically how it is not his fault. So, feel free to just tune in to the live stream at any time to get that.