We have said some mean stuff on this site, even me. But never in the exalted history of this site have we ever implied that TWiT or anyone at TWiT would take advantage of starving children.
Think of the Children
Can someone please help me out? Is TWiT donating the proceeds from the New Year’s show to UNICEF? Are the proceeds of the TWiT shirts going to UNICEF? Partial proceeds? Will TWiT be making a public donation to UNICEF? Are the fans supposed to donate?
I don’t understand how this works and as a journalist, I need facts. One thing you can count is you will get an exact figure from Leo. He is not the type of guy to just say “a lot” or “we could not be happier with the money raised” or “UNICEF is so so grateful.” I am certain we will get actual numbers like every other fundraiser right? Hello? Hello? Anyone? Is this on?
Moments before the start of the show that features a humongous priest playing with remote control planes aired, the unthinkable happened:
Since the onset of the Elgum TNT era, fan after fan has abandoned TNT. One who remained was Chickenhead21. The Chickenhead is on the same wavelength as the host and the two really connect on a deep level. The only interaction Gum is capable of with the fans is asking for show titles. This is where the Chicken excels. Show after mindless show and day after infuriating day and week after suicide-inducing week of TNT, the fan offers up 30 to 40 mindless titles after each episode of the shitshow. He is basically Mike’s lone fan.
In an apparent break from doing his master’s wishes, the Head Chat Freak kicked the poultry fan from #twitlive to the amazement of the five other fans. Will the headless chicken numbered 21 return? Can TNT survive with only four fans? Is Dan in trouble? Will he apologize?
Dumb guy Mike Elgan continues his dumb guy routine of trying to pretend he’s an interesting person on his “Tech News Today” program on the ailing TWiT network. Watch as he deftly informs his audience that he’s going to make vanilla ice cream. It’s riveting banter that you’ll definitely want to stay tuned for.
We have left totaldrama.ORG and moved to totaldrama.EU. Look at your URL if you do not believe me. And…. we will be moving IRC servers too. Everything you love will still be here, just Europeanish to fit in with the other .EU’s. No longer will we be harassed by the freedom-loving Americans and their cowboy boots. Leo, Sarah and Burke have already updated their bookmarks—and so should you. (IRC info)
America was cool but if Gum won’t move away on his own, we will be forced to lead as role models. Maybe one day he will follow our example. And I don’t mean travel to Shenzhen China to cover stories about hard drive manufacturing. Do not worry, the whole team acted as one and all your favorite writers are on board, everyone from Helloworld to Captain Juno to Emojit3ch. Thank you, on behalf of everyone, to the team who worked day and night on this noble task. It was so moving to see everyone chipping in with their expertise.
I am looking forward to a 2015 filled with real journalism and no ad hominem attacks. Welcome to Canada!
*A percentage of some proceeds from site will be donated to Unicef (.0000001 like TWiT)
We know ratings were low, we know orders came down to spice things up but vibrating panties on TNT????
Underwear underwear underwear underwear underwear, we get it, underwear lady.
As Santa goes over his Who is Naughty and Who is Nice list, we here at #TotalDrama did too. Our editorial meeting concluded recently and we decided it’s time to present the Top Nine Evil Moves of 2014:
#9 — Laughing as slaves and interns clean his mess
The ALS challenge gimmick was too much to pass up. But this reluctant participant was too lazy to walk outside. Instead he did it indoors and laughed as his slaves slaved away.
#8 — Forcing Jason to work Sundays and tearing him away from his family
It was a sad day for the entire Howell household when Jason gathered the whole family to the dinner table. “No more seeing Dad on Sundays, no more baseball games or play recitals, the boss has stolen my Sundays. But I can sit home alone on Thursdays as mommy goes to work and you, my precious darlings, are in school” Not a dry eye, ne’er a one.
#7 — Conspiring with Padre to fire Shannon on her honeymoon
Uncovered by #Drama, it appeared Shannon’s time at TWiT was up until we broke that #scoup and saved her for a time. In an expected move of cowardice, the news that she was fired was scheduled to be forced on the young lass over her honeymoon. They did not want to tell her face to face and at that happy time they could send a quick email instead of telling her in person.
#6 — Disrespecting longtime friend Steve Gibson
In what can only be described as sheer and utter disregard for another human being, the glutton walks away for minutes on end while doing a podcast with Steve Gibson. Implying to his listeners the man is a bore who goes on and on.
#5 — Firing Amber without even a text after eight years of service
Remember, this man fired Erik Lanigan by text and chastised iYaz Akhtar for resigning by email. But Amber, she got neither an email or a text from this behemoth.
#4 — Firing Chad with no notice
We all know what happens to young boys who move to California chasing their dreams. But who knew the father figure would not give him some time or even a warning (we noticed he is wearing the same shirt as in #5 too #WTF) before shoving the twenty-something host out the door.
#3 — Making editors work nights on a whim
This was a gut wrenching day for the entire editing staff as their lives were upended as #Soup guzzled down a few hamburgers and fries.
#2 — Laughing at Elgum’s possible life threatening sickness
Now #TotalDrama is not big fans of the newsman but when we saw he may be dying we had some sympathy, not these two. CEHo and LEHo laughed and laughed.
#1 — Humiliating Sarah Lane on live stream after Elgum debut
It is no surprise who once again comes in at #1. In a textbook display of what psychologists call “Displaced Anger” the king goes off on Sarah for some mindless reason rather than admit he just made the biggest mistake of his life in firing Merritt and hiring a news anchor with zero broadcast experience. To be fair, how would you have reacted after watching his mind-numbing debut?
Women in broadcasting (think Barbara Walters, Diane Sawyer, Katie Couric) have always worn dumb hats when conducting their most important interviews. One must only let their mind wander back a few years to think of the hours and hours of videotape in the archives of the National Museum of Broadcasting showcasing these gorgeous and smart women with their hats. Oh wait. They don’t. Accomplished women have not marginalized themselves with ridiculous head coverings that steal the spotlight from their on-air personas. So good luck being taken seriously with your shitty fashion, Christina Warren—never let some pothead-esque chapeau stand in the way of your dumb opinions. The men in the room certainly don’t seem to take you seriously, so why should we? And with a Twitter handle like @film_girl, you’ve already told the world you have no interest in being a woman of substance. So keep your stupid hat, little film girl, and let the real women do the meaningful reporting.
Native advertising, it is a thing despised by Leo Laporte and @profjeffjarvis, two scrupulous experts on journalism. When one is viewing a respected publication such as the New York Times, one may read a story that is actually a paid ad in article format, with a disclosure that it is an ad only revealed in small print. This is a disgrace. This is offensive. This is known as native advertising.
As we know, 70% of the podcast audience is audio only. They do not see a lower-third. Therefore, it is the host’s responsibility to make them aware when he is reading an ad. Most reputable radio networks employ policies requiring phrases like “and now a word from our sponsor” or “this show is brought to you by” to be read, so the audience knows, at the outset, that it is an ad. Listen to the clip (below) and see when or if #soupguzzler does a disclaimer that he is reading an ad for Blue Apron. This is especially offensive on a podcast where the host often talks freely about favorite games and apps and phones and movies and maybe food services too. The #soupguzzler does these native ads constantly.
How long does he wait to say it is an ad?
Does he ever reveal it is an ad?
They’ll figure it out when they hear an offer-code?
Theeeeeeeeeeee Tech Guy!
https://soundcloud.com/ghostdog-6/commercial He Like a de women! Original content aired by TWiT.TV under Creative Commons license
Seventy years ago the USA intelligence agencies failed causing a Hawaiian naval base to be destroyed which in turn gave World War II a new combatant. In 2013 and 2014 a CEHo attempted to move revenues away from being 85%-90% Leo and failed even worse. But #totaldrama failed too.
We have not supplied an adequate explanation as to how management could be so inept. In a few short months they fired their #1 talent, hired an obese priest to be their main star, reduced the presence of the lovely and talented Sarah Lane by 50% and the only new show not to be cancelled is Padre’s Corner which has yet to get one ad, outside of networkwide-weekly-buyouts. This is not a joke even though it may seem like one.
So today I offer two possible answers. One hit me when I was perusing Richardya on Soundcloud, this piece had lyrics that made me think of psycodelic drugs.
http://soundcloud.com/richardya/rabbit/s-MBPIW
That is one answer, psycodelic drugs. The other answer is a mental condition brought to our attention in the invaluable comments section of our little niche kitsch blog.
In order for a person to be diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) they must meet five or more of the following symptoms: Five or more? Our boy is 9 for 9.
<1> Has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements)
Let’s think about this. Have you seen the chair he sits in? Do you know how often he speaks to his staff when not on camera? Try never. He makes everyone, including Vint Cerf: the father of the internet, wait for him. He loves associating himself with people like Steve Wozniak and Steve Jobs when he should be associating with people like Prof Jeff Jarpiss. Does he tell you fans about his fabulous 49’er seats, or that he goes to the Superbowl or that he sits front row at concerts and flies first class and on and on.
<2> Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love
The man speculated that if he was offered thirty million dollars for his network he would think about selling. Uh Huh. (video proof) He also considers himself 1st class elite and surrounds himself with pictures of himself and his network logo. (Look at his desk) He is very infatuated with his looks and his relationship. Why does everyone know about his fancy toilet and TV, oh the success he is.
<3> Believes that he or she is “special” and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions)
Have you ever heard him mention a friend from his actual life? No. Never. But how many times has he mentioned Kevin Spacey and Steve Martin and Paul Simon and fucking Regis?
<4> Requires excessive admiration
His girlfriend and news director could be two of the biggest suck ups living in the eastern hemisphere of planet Earth. Le’gum quotes #Soup like other people quote Shakespeare and Aristotle. The Soupguzzler hires people like Jeff_N and EffenDund and Patrick who are huge fans. He wants to be around people who worship him. If you examine all his co-hosts from Steve Gibson to Dicky Debartolo to @ProffJeffJarvis they all heap excessive amounts of praise on him. (not Thurrott)
<5> Has a very strong sense of entitlement, e.g., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations
Why not fly first class and stay at Claridges where royalty stays? People serve him coffee and bring him lunch. People plug in his laptop. He hates his fans but loves their admiration. He has a 24 hour chatroom where one can praise him or hit the road.
<6> Is exploitative of others, e.g., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends
Pay the stars on MacBreak Weekly and Windows Weekly pittance. Pay guests (besides JCD) on TWiT zero and expect them to beg to be on his show. Tear Jason away from his family on Sundays to work his show. Change editors hours to working nights from working days on a whim. The Hebrews were treated better in Egypt than his employees are treated. Chat room mods are even bigger suckers, those freaks serve him because he says their nicks twice a year on camera.
<7> Lacks empathy, e.g., is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others
Ruins lives without thinking about it. Bye Bye Erik Lanigan. His poor fans spending their last penny on TWiT mugs so he can go on yet another vacation. [This symptom <7> of the disorder is very similar to prior <6> if you think about it, so the examples there belong here too, but I am not typing them again.]
<8> Is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her
Gee, he thinks Kevin Rose and Dvorak ripped him off. He thinks every podcaster on Earth ripped him off yet pays zero homage to the podcasters before him, such as Adam Curry and Harry Gilchrist. He is so jealous of Kevin Rose for selling Revision 3. I don’t even like Kevin Rose but the fact that he caused so much pain to the two-faced freak makes me like the little guy a bit.
<9> Regularly shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes
Does alleged sexual harassment count? How about if we factor in laughing at sexual harassment training? How about treating employees like slaves? How about exploiting personal relationships on air to fool the idiot fans in #twitlive? Does making everyone wait for you qualify? How about expecting everyone to appear on your podcasts free and never appear on theirs, no matter how many times they ask?
*Note* I am not a doctor nor do I play one on TV, I barely even watch TV but if the #soupguzzler can diagnose us, we can diagnose him. Tit for tat.
Exposing The Dark Underbelly of TWiT, Leo Laporte, and Failed CEO Lisa Laporte
