No matter your feelings toward this site, regardless of your belief in God or Atheism, irrespective of race religion and orientation, there is unanimity that Ozzie the Dog is a malformed, twisted thing. This egregious affront to all life spends its days prancing around Petulama as it literally pisses on everything it sees.
Mothers hide their children and animals shield their young when this abortion trots by. Half dog, half devil, every aloof step this cretin takes is a rebuke on all mankind. Somehow it appears to have inherited the worst behaviors from every genus of modern biology.
Rumors have surfaced that if you cut its head off, another grows back. Some say it developed a skunk-like spray that it emits from its mouth—others claim it hides all day and only comes out to irritate at opportune moments. Its origin is a murky mystery with speculation that it is nature’s very own bastard.
In a cruel twist of fate, this varmint stumbled upon the only place it would not be immediately euthanized: TWiT HQ. This is where this abomination of nature makes its home. Black hearts abound here and Ozzie has found a place where it can revel in its own wretchedness.
We have left totaldrama.ORG and moved to totaldrama.EU. Look at your URL if you do not believe me. And…. we will be moving IRC servers too. Everything you love will still be here, just Europeanish to fit in with the other .EU’s. No longer will we be harassed by the freedom-loving Americans and their cowboy boots. Leo, Sarah and Burke have already updated their bookmarks—and so should you. (IRC info)
America was cool but if Gum won’t move away on his own, we will be forced to lead as role models. Maybe one day he will follow our example. And I don’t mean travel to Shenzhen China to cover stories about hard drive manufacturing. Do not worry, the whole team acted as one and all your favorite writers are on board, everyone from Helloworld to Captain Juno to Emojit3ch. Thank you, on behalf of everyone, to the team who worked day and night on this noble task. It was so moving to see everyone chipping in with their expertise.
I am looking forward to a 2015 filled with real journalism and no ad hominem attacks. Welcome to Canada!
*A percentage of some proceeds from site will be donated to Unicef (.0000001 like TWiT)
Reports have come in that future movie drafts will be short one Sarah Lane. A recent statement released by Cordkillers Production Inc in association with Night Attack Management Corp. let viewers know that the “teams” concept, that debuted in Summer 2014, would be abandoned because they were not overflowing with volunteers this year.
Recent years have not been kind to Sarah as the Night Attack selection committee passed her over and placed a plump priest in her stead, much to the chagrin of the predominantly hormonal young male audience. Winter is coming and that means the Winter Draft is coming too. It seems the next movie draft participants will be something to keep abreast of.
Further speculation emerged when viewers noticed a lack of Sarah Lane in her promised monthly segment on the Tuesday night program. Fans have been clamoring to get her on for a full show but the NA duo turned that idea on its head. Always loyal to Justin & Brian could they be biting their thumbs at her? Is this retaliation for their alleged banishment from TWiT? #TotalDrama does not want to stir up drama, we are not about drama, but come on. Asked for comment, Night Attack reps said she was not banned and she has been “traveling and busy with her social life.” We were directed to her saucyInstagram feed as evidence.
Is this a calculated attempt to cut #TotalDrama in half by a TWiT double agent inside the Night Attack consortium. It is widely known that drama is split amongst its attitude towards the iFive for the iPhone star. Is Padre pining for her spot again? Is Veronica Belmont or Snubs AKA Shannon Morse, looking to be the third member of the Pr0blem Solverz? Or maybe just maybe this entire article was an experiment in click bait titles, a tactic made famous by Mike Elgum.
Exposing The Dark Underbelly of TWiT, Leo Laporte, and Failed CEO Lisa Laporte