So hiding your double chin under the lower third is not a valid way of escaping the reality of your fat head, Lindsey Turrentine. We’re on to what you’re trying to do, and it’s not working. Hit the treadmill in the new year, thanks!
…When was the last time you learned something new on any TWiT show? We’ll give you time to answer in the comments section. (We thank you for your answers, but we at the editorial board at #TotalDrama are quite confident that the answer will be a universal “nothing.”) There is no possible way that any one of our readers has learned anything new in the past year from TWiT.
We all knew that 2014 was the year that two fellas on twitter made the #soupguzzler rethink the internet, morality, law and the essence of life. Here we look back on trolling with three master trolls, the only one missing was Padre.
Let the stirring words of Sen. Edward Kennedy be our guide into the New Year. The fight continues…
No matter your feelings toward this site, regardless of your belief in God or Atheism, irrespective of race religion and orientation, there is unanimity that Ozzie the Dog is a malformed, twisted thing. This egregious affront to all life spends its days prancing around Petulama as it literally pisses on everything it sees.
Mothers hide their children and animals shield their young when this abortion trots by. Half dog, half devil, every aloof step this cretin takes is a rebuke on all mankind. Somehow it appears to have inherited the worst behaviors from every genus of modern biology.
Rumors have surfaced that if you cut its head off, another grows back. Some say it developed a skunk-like spray that it emits from its mouth—others claim it hides all day and only comes out to irritate at opportune moments. Its origin is a murky mystery with speculation that it is nature’s very own bastard.
In a cruel twist of fate, this varmint stumbled upon the only place it would not be immediately euthanized: TWiT HQ. This is where this abomination of nature makes its home. Black hearts abound here and Ozzie has found a place where it can revel in its own wretchedness.
Happy Holidays!
Leo: At this point I can actually recognize them. There are two guys, with a third who chimes in periodically.
and we recognize you, that is you on the right
Leo: I think they actually feel like jilted lovers
Wowzers, slow down lover, TWiT used to be good but “lovers” is extreme
Leo: it's kind of sad
kind of sad, kind of funny, like Obi-Wan said, it depends on point of view
Leo: They each have their odd obsessions
and Steve Gibson takes breaths mid-sentence
Leo: well also he has the week off from mom's business so, more time to troll
Moms was nice to give the whole week off
Leo: it's terribly sad
you have no idea
Well hey, hey, hey! Leo Laporte, rapidly fading podcasting has-been, admits to taking fake calls on his national travesty of a “radio” show recently. Looks like all those grannies and grampas asking about their flip phones, AOL connections and Windows 95 Winsock problems really are bogus after all.
I was getting set for the holidays. The presents were bought and wrapped, the tree was up and the sweaters were on, my mom was making dinner and it smelled so good. I sat down to watch a Christmas Edition of “iPad Today”………He made me cry.
People say that #TotalDrama is mean, we call people “fat,” but I wonder if we could be meaner. What if we really looked into someone’s soul and searched for something they were sensitive about? It would hurt more if we exploited that weakness. Calling someone “fat” is what we should have outgrown at six years old, it’s amateurish. Professional assholes try to really hurt people. Also, at Drama we call ‘strangers’ names—if someone really wanted to maximize pain, the key is to go after a friend. Lastly, to be truly evil, we could cover our insults in smiles then enjoy watching their pain and force the recipients of our attacks to grin and bear it. No, that is not realistic. No human is capable of such cruelty………save one.
At some point I am going to start not liking Brian. Fuck the job, do something! He is an animal. You think this is for the show? It makes the show better? People don’t enjoy watching depravity. What kind of a person does this? Maybe she cares maybe she doesn’t; I don’t know. But if you think another human being is troubled by something what kind of person mocks them about it. Anyway to the dear #twitlive fans, remember it is #TotalDrama that is mentally ill, you people are saints.
Merry Christmas from your friends at #TotalDrama. Here’s a tree to prove that we mean it.
Why do so many of us find the #Soupguzzler’s overt sham of a personality so offensive?
I forget where I read or heard an interesting theory on the comicbook hero Superman and his alias, Clark Kent. The thought was that Superman is an alien from Krypton. When he created Clark Kent he was attempting to invent a persona that would fit in with Earthlings. So the performance Superman does when pretending to be Clark Kent is essentially what Supe thought of us Earthlings. (OMG Supe is short for Superman and #soup is…) And how would we describe Clark? He is a stumbling, bumbling, babbling fool. So essentially, Superman believed the human race was a bunch of fools.
Now let us look at the fake persona our favorite fatman has invented. The man has a fake laugh he delivers on cue. He pretends to like or care for his fans and colleagues. He acts like anyone he encounters is remotely interesting to him and not meaningless ants whose sole purpose is to buy TWiT shirts and download his podcasts. He fakes caring about holidays and religion when in reality he finds theists to be fools. He pretends to care about sports when in actuality he deems it an inherent waste of his time. He smiles at you while counting the seconds until you leave his presence. He hates people and wants only to eat, have sex, read and play chess. Truly, the man holds humanity in contempt and I admit it, this is the one thing I have in common with him, I kinda like this aspect of the big guy.
*Editors Note* Drama never takes vacation.
