Why is Leo always so rude to Sarah Lane?

Why is Leo Laporte always so rude and dismissive to our lovely Sarah Lane? This a question I fear will haunt us forever here at #TotalDrama. Leo’s ill manners are caught once again and captured here in this YouTube clip of the perpetually disparaging Soup Guzzler as he unleashes yet another brash tirade against our winsome Sarah:

Is anyone safe?

A week after going on record in TWiT IRC to defend the character of the  chronic alleged sexual harasser #soupguzzler, Laporte’s call-screener, Heather, suffered some humiliation at the alleged abuser’s hand. What was her crime? Who knows?

Heather hurt after humiliation
A smile to hide the pain?

It was three weeks ago that Heather’s friend and sweetheart fill-in, Kim, was told she was incompetent by Laporte. Kim’s crime was not giving the delusional over-eater the proper calls, AKA easy calls. Heather seems to have become guilty of the same crime. After all, how hard can it be to ring up an 80 year old lady to inquire about what computer to get her grandson embarking on his college career?

"How much is an iPad?"
“How much is an iPad?”

His voice was hard to make out due to excessive portions of food bouncing around his gullet, but #Drama was not to be denied. Experts at audio reproduction, the #guzzler’s voice was remastered (see video below) which let the fans listen in on him questioning her ability to screen calls. The virtuoso of demeaning employees also left the camera on her throughout her public ridicule. Is this part of a plot to fire Heather and insert a more affordable Jeff_N into the call screener position? It wouldn’t $urprise me. Poor Heather!

Thanks to SpringR for video tip

Fret not Heather, being humiliated by this man puts you in some esteemed company.

*Update* It looks like Heather will be moved aside for Jeff_N after all, we will check the chat log to see who initiated that theory, I believe it was Richardya or KC and homage will be paid.

Why do podcasts start on time?

On John Gruber’s Talk Show, Ep.98 John Siracusa was asked why ATP (Accidental Tech Podcast) starts on time.

His answer was revelatory, a breakthrough in podcast scheduling.

And why do all TWiT podcasts with Leo Laporte never start on time? No respect?  No standards? You tell me.

It seems that the only listeners will continue to be retired or infirm or pre-schoolers.  The only ones with massive amounts of time to waste.

Enhanced user social cutting edge experience

SF Jargon
Can anyone be a CEO in 2014?

#TotalDrama has been running low on funds. We tell you this because we are committed to openness and honesty with our fans. Luckily the team at #drama may have stumbled on a windfall of cash. Yesterday SkiEast featured,  a must-read article, that shed light on  the make believe nonsense that the TWiT CEHo will be paying $400,000 for. (see image) This high level plan was combed over at #drama HQ and a few black holes were found on this white board. We put our team to work and formed a new company henceforth known as “Four Toilets” to compete in this space.

Affordable Nonsense
Affordable Nonsense

We immediately set out on a plan to both accomplish the goals laid out by the current contractor while simultaneously adding objectives and saving TWiT LLC some serious bank. We even used a piece of paper instead of a whiteboard in a cost cutting move. (see image) The plan looks solid and we hope to add some more value and bullshit in the near future. The asking price for this business plan is $85,000.

Jesus Christ what happened to TWiT? Enhancing brand image, wtf wtf wtf. There was a time this would have been laughed at and not embraced.
Anyway, I am off to get a plaid shirt, grow a beard and get a business card stating I am CEO so I can meet some of San Francisco’s hottest honeys.

New TWiT Coming in 2015?

TotalDrama field reporters spotted this photo on this weeks The Tech Guy. It appears to outline a plan to ‘Save TWiT’. We are hoping for such a comeback from the depths to which the moribund network has sunk.

Here’s the plan


For those having trouble reading it I have attempted to convert the photo to text.

1. cut a hole in a box
2. put your junk in that box
3. make her open the box
4. And that’s the way you do it

I may have made a few errors during conversion.

Wow, amazing. Can’t wait to see how it all turns out.

It’s All In Fun, Isn’t It?

Ok, I’m tired. I can’t really edit videos or write coherent prose. So I will just post the video and await comments.

I know, he’s joking. It’s all in jest. But really, drones loaded with ANFO?  Remote detonated with bluetooth?

Honestly I never knew what ANFO was, now I do. Thank you, PadreSJ, Fr. Robert Ballecer, SJ.  I have learnt a new thing.

Maybe a preview for the next TWiT show? Has it been greenlit?

Never call someone’s girlfriend ‘Yoko’

Many years ago when I was a lowly programmer working out of a cubicle my boss imparted to me some accumulated wisdom.

“Never say someone is a fucking idiot in writing, they never forget”

It seems like the current equivalent is calling Leo Laporte’s main squeeze Yoko.  That was their sin.  A minor slip, but banning ensued.

Brian Brushwood and Justin Robert Young seem to want to move on, to let hasty words be forgotten. But the sting of ‘Yoko’ lingers.

The stench of  it, the sound of it, echoing through the tubes of internetdom.  Leo can’t forget and he won’t forgive.

Before the recent TWiT meetup in Austin,  Brian made some entreaties and was rebuffed.  Apologies not accepted.  No face-to-face was to be.

Screenshot 2014-10-24 19.50.32

So maybe more begging? Or realize that a man will be judged by his actions and Brian and Justin are better off standing up and accepting whatever was said as truth.

This work is copyrighted by the Sad Society of Happy People. Or maybe that was the Happy Society of Slackers.

It’s not.

Why are Squirels Cute and Rats Disgusting

It is said by men everywhere that there is one way to be woken up in the morning that surpasses all others. I disagree, it is overrated and annoying. I prefer a cup of coffee in the morning. Whatever. So today we awoke without the horror of an Elgum-TNT in our rear view mirror and unusually, something to look forward to on a Friday.

The fans have spoken
Fans have spoken: Click to see what they said

As always, my job is to present an honest unbiased retrospective as we digest yesterdays TNT. The reviews came in by the fans and they were glowing. Fan favorite Sarah Lane kept to the Lgum-format so as not to humiliate the current host and in so doing stayed classy for San Francisco. This editorial decision highlighted what a talented host can fix and what a talented host can not fix  within the current confines of the TNT structure. The energy was high with lots of pep by Lane and equally perky co-host Hu,  they made the broadcast easy to listen to. Jason, who can get along with anyone, was noticeably happier having Lane in the captain’s chair. A particular remnant of the new-and-unimproved-TNT remained and held the broadcast back. An unassailable issue with having journalists as guests is….. they can suck.

TWiT did not invent broadcast news programs and something learned long ago was that not every great writer is a great guest. The  Beijing correspondent was boring and again, not every guest can be resurrected with a good host. Peter Kafka is one of my favorite writers but when he appears on TNT, it feels like my fingernails are being pulled out using a rusty pair of tweezers.

Celebrating #TotalDrama day at TWiT HQ
Celebrating #TotalDrama day: Hair down and to the side!

Next Issue: Selecting and covering the in-depth story(s) on all tech news shows is paramount and where Merritt of Daily Tech News Show shines. This one facet is what breaks or makes shows. The key, finding what to talk about. This is why preparing a news show is not just summarizing headlines.

Competition 3 miles ahead
Alert:Competition 3 miles ahead

As an example, let us examine the story of the new social network Ello. So what? What is interesting? A new social network that doesn’t want to do ads, is that it? The host/producer preparation must be to hone in on what people will want talk about, what the buzz is, and start that conversation. This is why Elgum preparing a show alone at 4AM, without someone to bounce things off of and see what is interesting is a monumental mistake.  Another thing Merritt would do is monitor the IRC to see if something he missed got the audience abuzz.  This is why a consistent everyday co-host, preferably in studio,  is the best option. Back to Ello and finding an interesting angle to discuss with your guest: How can any new social network overcome the problem of not being where the people are, is it even possible to succeed or is Facebook the foreseeable undisputed champ? If Ello flourishes will they be able to turn down billions of dollars in ad revenue, can any human do that when push comes to shove? Basically, the hosts job is to find one of the quintessential talking points.

It is certainly to early to tell how TNT will fare in 2015 and who knows if late sleeper Lane will have them dump TNT and keep TN2 when the Gum departs Petaluma. It is silly to speculate but I am betting the 5’0 blond is up to the task.

Update: Based on comments, author changed ‘Broadcast Journalism’ to  ‘Broadcast News Program’