No One Cares

The angle of 'like thumb moving to 97' Degrees
The angle of ‘like thumb moving to 97’ Degrees

Why would anyone care about your stupid website and apps. It is the same site that it was in 2007. You got lucky and hit the jackpot with your website. Congratz, now go spend your money and g’bye Mark.

You’re not that smart and your vision of the future is meaningless. You have no impact on anything or anyone. Stop pretending to be Steve Jobs. And put a shirt on, you’re not playing Xbox with your roommate.

The Reviews Are In – IT’s A Hit!

The reviews flooded in on twitter. One thing is clear, this little lady has a mega hit on her hands.

I came to do two things, drink some beer and make a hit show, and I am out almost out of beer.
I came here  to do two things; drink some beer and make a hit show, and I’m almost outta beer.

Without further ado, the reviews:

Kate Imbach: San Francisco Icon

JR Young:  Comedy Legend

Iyaz Ahktar: CNET Editor

Jason Howell: Risking it

Melody McC: Heiress and CEO

Amber: Canada’s #1 Personality (showing off by linking a picture)

Ligaya Tichy:  Sarah’s friend and Instagram Starlet

Veronica Belmont: Arch Enemy of Comcast

Someone who works with Sarah

Tech Crunch CEO & major asshole: Mike Arrington

Apple Employee: Tim Cook

Gina Trappani: Supportive colleague

Shannon Morse says the show is “AWESOME”

GFQ Network founder: Andrew Zarian

We would Embed the video for you if Techcrunch knew anything about security on the web and used iFrame, instead we can only link it. In the future we are looking for less news about VCing and more info on what is hip and happening.

It is not too late to let the world know you’re in the in crowd. Tweet @sarahlane @techcrunch

Helloworld Used Bad Language on Twitter

People should be respectful on Twitter and not curse. Ethics.

CEO of Personal Capital Bill Harris
CEO of Personal Capital Bill Harris

The Triangulation program featured an interview with the Personal Capital CEO who just happens to be TWiT’s largest sponsor. Move along, move along. Or……

Take ‘native advertising’ and multiply it by 400 and you get this. And I was trying not to discuss TwiT. You try to get out and they pull you back in. (For more info click here)

Does anyone remember the name of the song by the son of the guy who played the dad on Growing Pains?

And now people are emailing me that he is asking a (female) employee, Megan, if it is o.k. to “be salacious” or hit on her and she responds “I don’t mind it, uh……..but I can’t speak for everyone.” Put an employee on air and ask her if it is o.k. to do this and see what she says. THAT IS THE DEFINITION OF DURESS.

Once again we have the victim saying; I don’t mind, I am tough I can take it, it’s cool, don’t worry. No one at twit will do anything, no one will say anything not to the boss and not to his wife the CEO.

UPDATE: The g-mail address is no longer live for tips, I do not want to be notified about this stuff. I don’t watch TWiT so Stop sending me this stuff.

Why GigaOm Failed

This is like so not complicated.

Stop, Listen...Hammertime
Stop, Listen…Hammertime

They spent more money than they made. They needed to make more or spend less.

V C money and journalism don’t mix? I am astonished.

But instead let’s discuss the changing role of media in an increasingly mobile environment that is being preyed upon by different factors competing for mind-share.

I don’t understand the HBO-Apple Deal

Friendship is Magic
Friendship is Magic

Everyone knew HBO would go cable free. It was not complicated math. As soon as the amount of expected (cablefree) subscription revenue was greater than the lost cable revenue from going over the top, HBO would be off to the races. Now, HBO is owned by people who own other channels so if people ditch cable it hurts other revenue. HBO is a lynchpin in peoples decision to get cable. Therefore it is more complicated with more variables but it essentially is just a question of how to make the most money.

The nonsense about HBO getting free marketing from cable companies is just that; nonsense. Game of Thrones generates ten times the marketing that their dumb ads do. They were pretty conservative in waiting so long but the time to go was here and everyone expects the other networks to follow. They are like cows and just follow the herd. Ask the cable installers, kids do not get cable, HBO could not wait much longer. But the Apple deal still makes no sense to me.

No way will he do it
No way will he do it

Apple forked over some cash to be the exclusive HBO Now partner for three months. What does Apple get for their hard earned cash? Are they expecting people to buy apple phones and throw android phones away in these three months? Um no, people who currently have HBO can wait the three months to ditch cable and people without cable obviously don’t want HBO that badly. Are they getting rid of inventory? That is ridiculous. The company has excellent inventory control and I doubt selling a $69 device is that big a deal. And if the big Apple-subscription launch is in June, as well as a new rumored device, why not wait? And I don’t understand the other side of the deal, what does HBO get, besides some cash? Wouldn’t they want everyone to be able to buy HBO Now and not just Apple owners. I don’t get it. Why are they limiting the launch, It feels like I am missing something.

Disney owns Aol who owns TechCrunch who owns....
Disney owns Aol who owns TechCrunch who owns the lovely and talented….

There is going to be a big fight for space on TV or however people are watching shows. Yahoo, Amazon, AOL and everyone else has a lot to gain. Fox, ABC, Disney etc have a lot to lose. Spending 4 billion for Star Wars and millions for the Marvel properties was a good move. Those properties are going to be even more valuable when everyone is in the TV game. Disney is one smart cookie.

Any why does everyone in Silicon Valley refer to shows as content, they are shows.

The History of #Drama

Questions needs answers.

I guess the best place to start is at the beginning. Where did Drama come from, who are these drama people and what was the genesis of the movement that shook Silicon Valley to its core, and of course, what became of them? It was December of 2013 when the news broke that Merritt was not being rehired and Elgan was taking over TNT. A few days later iYaz quit and soon thereafter there was the incident involving the lovely and talented Sarah Lane, later the duo of Brian and Justin were banned, then Amber, lies, Shannon, more lies, Chad and on and on.

And So it Goes
And So it Goes

But it was in January and February of the 2014 year when people were being kicked from the #Twitlive chatroom for voicing their opinions. The moderaters elevated their nastiness and lie upon lie surfaced to quell the distrust. A new IRC was set up in a place called Europe for the Cordkillers show and being that many of TWiT’s shunned outcasts congregated there, a certain amount of negativity towards TWiT would constantly bubble up to the surface. It began to disturb the shows so the guy who ran the IRC created a new room where people  with Drama could voice their opinions without derailing the programs. It was a quarantined area similar to New York in the movie Escape from New York. They banished all the trouble makers into one place away from normal society, and he named the room what you already guessed, #Drama.

The room quickly became the place where everyone with issues against TWiT came to vent and laugh. The laughter was a major component as many people laughed at some of the insanity going on at their former infotainment home. People traveled great distances to #drama from all walks of life. Many came who had never even watched recent shows but had issues from days gone by. There were varying degrees of hatred, as some had issues with this whilst others had issues with that. Famous Podcasters, current twit hosts and former employees all came by to pay their respects.
That chat room grew and had much to say.

Pay Attention
Pay Attention

Soon people came to #Drama for news and truth. It was then that the blog was born. An IRC was deemed too small and the message to great. Magnificent works of art being showcased on YouTube and Gifs that were worth two thousand words were displayed in this humble IRC. The content in IRC was expanding and needed room, it needed a website…..

One member and one admin started the blog with no stated purpose. They moved away from the cordkillers IRC and created totaldrama. It grew organically with no structure. More and more came and anyone, even myself,  was allowed to write for the site. As time went by got sources, real sources and experts. People who wanted to know what was up came to the blog daily. Scoops broke here, if someone was fired, if a lie was exposed or if a video was made it would be on TD.O first. Chad’s firing, Shanon’s firing, Sarah’s replacement and other scoops. The numbers were staggering and the blog kept growing. There were many who tried to mimic its success and others who tried to stifle the site but neither met any success. So it evolved and morphed and evolved some more.

More Intensity
More Intensity

At some point the original admin went MIA [Missing in Action] but the blog continued. No leadership was ever needed and no authority was ever pressed. The organizational structure would best be compared to the terrorist group Al Qaeda. No leadership alongside a bunch of nutcases who all had their own agendas (including me) writing away. Most lived under the shade of anonymity as a harmony of disharmony ensued with surprisingly little arguments or drama. Ironic. The content of the site became precious, my precious. But without an admin on hand, worry came front and center. No one knew how long the site was paid for or where it was even hosted. Many of you remember the next event that became known as the Exodus to the EU. A great deal of technical knowledge was needed to move the site without admin access. Let’s just say l33t skeelz were needed.  So the site moved and .EU was unearthed with new admin but mostly the same characters and writers.

Make One Man Dance and Another Man Sing
Make One Man Dance and Another Man Sing

The burgeoning community had aspects of both a utopia and dystopia (which is not a word according to spellcheck, #WTF) Now, were lines crossed? Probably. Did people voice their disagreement when this happened? Always.   So if one disagreed with a name calling or a picture or a target, the dissent would be heard. This was the redeeming factor, In Sparta a man is held accountable for his words, even a messenger.

And so it went that .Eu was the new home of drama. Days and weeks went by with more scoops and more news and always drama. But when the benefactor of drama left, despair took hold as the days of Drama seemed destined to end. But so it came to pass that a new benefactor came and once again there was peace for drama. One man alone was writing and another did admin and they battled the naysayers and continued amidst gloomy days and nights, but soon even these happy days would end.

Those pigs look tasty
Those pigs look tasty

One need only to look at the Twitter account of one man to see that he did not view drama lightly. His enemy, they were, and he swore to stop them. And so it went that this man huffed and puffed and blew and drama fell. Just as Europe fell in WW2, so too .Eu fell. And so it goes, drama was no more.

The question that remains is ‘what now?’ It seems the original .org is still afloat. What now? Like all great riddles of the universe there is no answer….no one knows.

Long live Sarah Lane and may God bless America and not Europe.


Sarah Lane Launchparty

The Lovely and Talented Sarah Lane
Sarah Lane AKA The Lovely and Talented

The lovely and talented Sarah Lane is cutting the ribbon on a new show via TechCrunch called “Crunch Report.” The debut is set for March 23rd at 4PM Pacific but being that it is not live, the start time seems inconsequential. The show will be daily but it is unconfirmed if Sarah will even be hosting. We do not as yet have sources inside their HQ, we need like a week or two. It was described by an insider as a visual version of the Techcrunch website.

People looking for anything other than news in this post will have to wait. Those days are gone. Not gonna happen. People change, it’s called a metamorphosis, so there is nothing else to say. Keep dreaming. But we are looking forward to her input on the set design.

Why totaldrama became the number one [#1] destination of everyone in Silicon Valley is beyond me, those people have issues. Anyway, there are two types of people in this world, the people tuning in to watch her show debut and the bottom dwelling, scum sucking, backstabing, evil, heartless and worthless a-holes wasting good oxygen. Which are you, grow up and pick a side. Down!

Broken News: The web empire of has been taken offline.

Update: The rumour being spread that a team of hackers, based in Vatican City, have taken offline is false. At least that’s what this reporter can glean from Twitter, Facebook, Google+ and Meerkat videos.   None of which has shown the purported hacker team (dressed in cassocks) actually hacking.  Fr. Robert Ballecer has been asked his opinion and we will relay it when received.

Further details coming.

Lisa Laporte is a vile cunt

Lisa "The Stringy-Haired Witch" Kentzell
Lisa Laporte, aka Lisa Kentzell, is a vile cunt.

This story is intended for Google SEO purposes for people searching for “Lisa Laporte is a vile cunt.”

Welcome, Google Searchers. We’re glad that you decided to type “Lisa Laporte is a vile cunt” into your search window.

For purposes of being 100-percent complete: Lisa Kentzell is a vile cunt.

The editorial board at TotalDrama is also hoping that the commenters will also ask if Lisa Laporte is a vile cunt, as well.

There’s ‘fair-use’ and then there’s stealing

There’s “fair-use” and then there’s stealing. And TotalDrama is asking Leo Laporte and all the hosts and contributors on the TWiT network to stop stealing other journalists’ hard work.

On every program that he appears on, Leo Laporte plops himself down in front of his laptop and just starts reading The Verge, Engadget, 9to5mac, MKBHD…it has to end.

twitlogoround3Why do these news outlets, bloggers and hard-working tech journalists allow their work to be basically stolen from them? Leo then just puts a NatureBox ad on top of their stuff. It’s not right and goes way beyond the established “fair-use” rules for commentary or parody. Leo is doing nothing to “advance the public discourse.” He’s merely robbing these sites of their content for his own personal monetary gain. And it must stop now!

We call upon Leo and his entire crew to stop this theft immediately.

TotalDrama is calling for a boycott of all TWiT shows until this practice stops.