To all our artist friends out there who enjoy TotalDrama: Submit via the “Feedback & Tips” button on the right side of the website your t-shirt design mocking TWiT. You can use the tagline “If it’s on Twit…it’s shit” if you like.
We’re interested in seeing the creativity of our readers. We know you’re out there, and we want to give you a platform. We’ll post the best five designs we get. It’ll be fun!
Thanks in advance to all the amazing, creative TotalDrama fans out there!
In the continuing slide into oblivion that is the journey of the TWiT network, it looks as if it’s finally “Windows Weekly’s” turn to experience the laziness that pervades almost every other show. It’s taken a while, but it’s finally happened: Nobody gives a fuck anymore. Even Paul Thurrott has given up holding his head high enough to even clear the lower third.
Tubcasting really can’t be far behind now that this is the norm.
A banana-eating woman broke into the frame behind Katie Banner as she was co-hosting another shitty TNT show. TotalDrama is trying at this moment to contact the woman and offer her a writing job for the blog. She’s the hero we need right now.
All the women who come on the TWiT network with their bullshit vocal fry Valley Girl voices can go fuck themselves.
The only bright light in this desert of ridiculous cunts with their fake-ass high school voices is the stunning beauty Serenity Caldwell. Her appearance on this week’s “MacBreak Weekly” was so refreshing because she used her real voice. No affectation. She was brilliant.
Complete list and video to come.
Cleverness-challenged technical director and Petaluma’s newest braindead resident, Jason C. Cleanthes, is looking and acting dumber every minute. Two more months of this and Effendumb will be at a state that scientists refer to as “peak dumbass.” No word yet on what this idiot is looking at in the picture above.
There is no way for anyone to prove 100-percent beyond a shadow of a doubt that Leo Laporte did not shit his bed last night.
Unless, of course, that person is Leo Laporte himself and can provide the videotape of his entire night’s sleep—from getting into bed, to waking up in the morning. And then he would need to provide further video proof of him scanning the sheets with the camera and showing us that he did not shit the bed.
So TotalDrama calls upon Leo Laporte to prove that he did not shit his bed last night. Otherwise, there’s just no way for us to know if Leo Laporte shit his bed last night. Or perhaps Jason C. Cleanthes can let us know if Leo Laporte shit his bed last night?
TotalDrama is in talks with a psychologist to help us plumb the depths of a few universal questions that have plagued mankind since the dawn of humanity. We plan on publishing a book detailing our findings in the Spring of 2021. But until then, commenters can help us with their thoughts on these vexing conundrums:
Mike Elgan, as massive of a loser as the density of the closest Red Dwarf star, is now ending his shit “Tech News Today” show with a call to interact with him (here’s the incomplete list). Please feel free to add your suggestions in the comments section as usual.
TotalDrama is proud to announce the development of a new award that will extend Awards Season several weeks past the Oscars: The Least Favorite TWiT Staff or Contributor Award or what will be affectionally known as The Cunty.
Voting will open soon, but we wanted to let our loyal readers know as soon as possible so they can order their ball gowns and tuxedos in time for the big ceremony.
World-famous greasy wanna-be hippie and overrated “Today” show guest Christina Warren is apparently not only despised by the tastemakers at TotalDrama, but also by her husband’s family as well.
In this caustic tweet, “Film Girl” lays bare her disdain for her much better half’s kin:
I'm a firm believer in not giving a shit about whether family likes you or not (and vice versa) but I know it's a big deal for most
— Christina Warren (@film_girl) March 10, 2015
No word yet on exactly why they hate her, but the editorial board at TotalDrama is prepared to venture a guess: It’s because she has horrible oily hair that she hides under a completely shitty hat.
