Since the dawn of color television in the early 1950s, continuing through the late 1960s with the wide adoption of color televisions in American homes, broadcast network engineers have taken pride in presenting a vibrant and dazzling world of color. Professional broadcasters pay special attention to proper color balancing, constantly adjusting for subtle differences in shade and tone.
At Twit, however, exactly the opposite seems to be the order of the day. For reasons that have yet to be addressed, it is impossible for Twit to present the show hosts and guests in consistent and realistic color. From episode to episode of “This Week in Google,” for example, co-host Jeff Jarvis appears as either purple, light purple, pink, or dark pink and rotates from one moment to the next in a never-ending merry-go-round of washed out or sickly underexposed positions.
To further the unpleasant color viewing experience, Elgum can do nothing else than appear as an orange-faced monkey. In stark contrast, his guests can be relied upon to appear as either too dark, too light, too blue or in some cases barely even visible. (See photo above.)
So one would think that with a near total domination of white men showing up on every show, it should be easy for TNT to get the color balance right. Just imagine how the brains would be melting in Petaluma if staff were called upon to actually color balance an African-American woman’s skin tone with the putrid orange of Elgum’s face.
Come on, Leo. Take a little pride in your company and demand better of your engineering staff. Viewers deserve it and I’m certain the advertisers would appreciate being part of a more professional network.
So the battle of the millennium is playing out online. It’s an age old question: Who’s hotter? The sweet blond who’s actually sexy, or the poser who tries too hard and wears glasses and too much lipstick and basically fails at being a hottie?
I’ll let you decide. But just for the record, Sarah Lane is the sweet blond and Amber MacArthur is wearing lipstick. Vote your favorite in the comments section; just make sure it’s a vote for Sarah Lane.
We here at #totaldrama pride ourselves on creativity and free expression. So it is in that celebrated spirit that today we are announcing the invention of a new word. It’s a modern union of English letters that takes both the best and the worst of two vile words and smashes them together in a frothy amalgam of something entirely cutting-edge and novel.
Presenting: Cuntch *
For decorum’s sake, I will not be revealing the two words that make up the mashup. Oh, what the hell, here they are: bitch and cunt.
The TNT Way: Have a reporter on to talk about a story they’ve written. Fair enough. Not as good as having the actual newsmaker to tell their side of the story. But I’ll go along with it for now.
However, why would TNT host Mike Elgan have a reporter on to talk about what other reporters have reported? Is this like some kind of Inception joke? How about this: Engage in ORIGINAL REPORTING and broadcast it to your audience. This six degrees of separaton-style show is just not compelling enough to ever garner a real audience.
Here’s a hot tip for all you aspiring young broadcasters out there: It’s more important to learn how to drum your fingers on a table and scrunch up a piece of paper and throw it at an expensive video camera lens than it is to hone your craft. Forget well-researched stories. Begone pesky “work” getting great guests. All you need is those two tricks and you’re ratings gold.
Remember, modern viewers don’t want news, they don’t want insightful commentary—they want people who can turn a wooden desktop into a percussion instrument. It’s what Walter Cronkite would have done if he had been able to afford a lobotomy.
So for now, I’m not naming names. I’m just going to leave this as a little reader quiz. Who do you thinks this post is about? Leave a comment if you would with your best guess. Thanks!