Tag Archives: Integrity

Full Disclosure

Being an ace reporter for #TotalDrama means I am responsible to answer my critics. Unlike Gum and #soupguzler who deafen their ears to criticism, I will not not only hear mine but I will act on it.

I done see this message quite a few times
I done seen this block message on quite a few accounts

Apparently I have been accused of a bias, a word I despise. There are those who think I show preferential treatment to the lovely and talented Sarah Lane, that I am incapable of turning the high powered microscope of analysis on her. This article should quell that disruption for awhile as I explain why Sarah should not have accepted the $75. That is right folks, here I go. #deepbreath

My kinda slave
My kinda slave

The year was 2011 and head chat mod/head sleaze visited his idol in Petaluma California. He brought some other mods with him. They seem to travel in packs, a gaggle, a flock, a school, a pride, I am unaware of the technical term. As part of the slave-masters training he treated the slaves, who serve him free-of-charge for thousands of hours, to a steak dinner. [A practice used in training dogs which was outlawed in 1988 by the ASPCA incorporates oscillating between treat and punishment. Yet this banned practice is still used by Laporte]  The mods had one request, bring Sarah.

It was a night Sarah had no plans but as you can imagine, many an excuse was concocted to avoid this. The obvious strategy of drinking herself into a stupor was unavailable because she needed to drive herself home. This meant she would have to sit there sober with the mods and Laporte. Finally, #soup offered her $75 and a free dinner and she took it. She sat there listening to that boy-child telling tales of being head mod. “I barely listen to TWiT anymore, I am so busy.” “I just check in the chat once in a while and kick some people.” “Those guys cry about getting kicked, get a life.” On and on he went about how above IRC he was. uuuugggghhh Sarah unexpectedly left early.

This should muffle the smell
This should muffle the smell

Should Sarah have taken the $75? After all, these freaks of nature in some way serve her too. They kick anyone who is remotely complimentary towards her appearance or half as creepy as the mods themselves. I condemn her for taking this money. It was a night-out for the mods. They put pants on and got dressed up and she should have done it free.

Ok, no favoritism here.
I hate you all for what you made me do.

Balanced Reporting

Impartial #truth
Impartial #truth

We here at #TotalDrama take our responsibility as journalists very seriously. We do not take sides on issues and pride ourselves on our motto of “Just the Facts.” We recently received disturbing feedback from some fans that said our in-depth reporting on Father Robert Ballecer has made them question their faith.

The Subject of Debate, Plump PadreSJ

Our staff was called in for (yet another) emergency meeting and decided to deliver the following statement:  “Due to circumstances beyond our control, a large percentage of our reporting focused negatively on an individual associated with the Church. It was never our intent to affect peoples faith so we will attempt to rectify this matter.”

Perfect From Any Angle. Photo Courtesy of instagram.com/melody

In an effort to balance the lack of faith in a greater power we offer you a vision of something clearly celestial.  Five billion years of evolution is not enough time to craft this.
I present, God’s greatest achievement to date: Sarah Lane from the back. Trust me. You want to click this image.

Jeff Jarvis, Google Shill


  1. A person who poses as a customer in order to decoy others into participating
  2. person who publicizes or praises something or someone for reasons of self-interest, personal profit, or friendship or loyalty.
  3. verb. To work as a shill: He shills for a large casino.
  4. To advertise or promote (a product) as or in the manner of a huckster; hustle
“I spoke at a Google Big Tent event in Berlin (Google paid my travel expenses; I do not accept other payment from Google)” —Jeff Jarvis
Jeff Jarvis Google Shill
Jeff Jarvis Google Shill

Accept? Why would Google offer to pay you? “Other” payment, because international airline fares are, in fact,  considered a form of payment. Jeff Jarvis, according to Jeff Jarvis, gets his travel paid for to conferences in major cities all over the globe by Google, Inc. He laughs this declaration off every time he is cornered into disclosing this truth. He regards it as an irrelevant fact. He is mistakenly caught up in the need to mention this detail as if he were one of the people who could be corrupted.  The disclosure section of his blog has barely been updated since July 2005.

So let’s get back to these trips. How does this scam work? Google pays his airfare and then he pays his own lodging and expenses? I First Classthink not. More likely the managers of these events, which are sponsored by Google, put the speaker, Jarvis, up at hotels. A Per Diem would certainly not be out of the question. Parties in Paris with the elite are almost a certainty. Sipping champagne with Sophia Loren is but a small perk. You think his university pays? Then why don’t they pay the airfare?

What about his jobs?
Host of “This Week in Google.”
Author of “What Would Google Do?”
Author of “Public Parts: How Sharing….Improves…..and Live.”
Director-Tow-Knight Center for Entrepreneurial Journalism at CUNY
Lecturer on all topics related to his books.

A Purple Jarvis on the shitty show TWiG

His entire livelihood is tied up in this company and we are supposed to believe this doesn’t affect his opinions? Does it matter that the money for the PR stints comes from an intermediary and not directly from his friends Sergey and Larry? It is human nature to love that which feeds and sustains us. He may not even realize it, the man is of average intelligence. He just lives in NY and somehow got a professorship.

Howard Stern fans, who don’t particularly know what Google is, berate him as a Google Shill after his appearances on that program. The comments on Jarvis’ blog are filled with accusations of impropriety, although he chuckles them all away. His Twitter stream is inundated with cries of “shill” every time he opens his mouth. He often dismisses these accusations preemptively. He generally has the sense to know he is a shill so he will ask fans not to send him letters calling him a shill, he makes this plea under the illusion that he is speaking to the Google-hating fringe.

Every article he writes is on the side of Google. Every product he uses is from Google. Every thing he talks about is related to Google. If Google is caught red-handed doing wrong, he speaks in baby talk and says things like ‘google woogle did boo boo.’  This is a professor of journalism? TWiT.tv is where journalism goes to die. The saddest part is everyone, including Jeff,  in the inner circle on the lecture circuit understands the game. He sold his soul for pocketful of gold, he fits right in at TWiT.
#TotalDrama contributor Richard Yes—Full Disclosure: 
I hate Google and Facebook, I think Jarvis is a shill. I own many Apple and MSFT products but I use Gmail, Google Search and YouTube and other aspects of the internet that Google has monopolized. I think Sarah Lane is pretty.