Category Archives: Opinion

Bruce Almighty

Leo Laporte has millions of fans worldwide. He is the host of a nationally syndicated radio show. He was once known as the President of the Internet. A few people don’t like him and put together a wordpress blog about him, some made Twitter accounts and some made funny videos and others did both.

Laporte identified one member of this group, Bruce,  who is responsible for about 5% of the content. Laporte then used his pulpit to ridicule this man, make up stories about him and blame him for the actions of countless others in an attempt to divert attention from, well you know what. Laporte got only one fact right, Bruce does cross fit and like all Vegans, Crossfit enthusiasts and people without TVs, he can’t shut up about it. But everything else Leo says is untrue.

Bruce says "Helloworld"
Bruce says “Helloworld”

Bruce grew up in a small Canadian fishing town to a family without a penny to their name. He was often forced to work after school as his friends played ice hockey. He was chastised for being smart and having an interest in computers. But he never fought back and always turned the other cheek.

That was until Saddam Hussein invaded Kuwait. Bruce enlisted in the American army and fought bravely in the Persian Gulf War, where he was awarded a Congressional Medal of Honor and two Purple Hearts. The medal was earned for single handedly rescuing his entire four hundred man brigade who were captured by a savage band of Iraqi Republican Guard with ties to the Taliban, ISiS and weapons of mass destruction. Unfortunately he took machine gun fire to his spinal cord and was told he would never walk again.

That was until he met a little red headed girl diagnosed with a terminal disease. Bruce couldn’t bear to see her give up. She promised that if he were to walk again, she’d fight the illness. Needless to say; Bruce began to walk again without a pesky spinal cord and that little girl beat her disease and became President of Canada. (Prime Minister, Czar, Supreme Leader or whatever it’s called there) Bruce was overjoyed.

That was until, while on a field trip, Bruce was bitten by a radioactive spider. This bite gave him super powers so he went on to fight crime by night and do tech support by day.

All Bruce according to Laporte
All Bruce according to Laporte

Ok maybe that is not 100% true but it’s closer to reality than the tall tale Leo has spun which Padre regurgitates. More-so, at least one member of Leo’s staff and one of the illustrious chat-mods was in Drama with myself, Bruce and many others when HelloWorld came on the scene. (Helloworld is the name of the guy who produces the content driving the #soupguzzler batty) Those people have told Leo that he is way off base and they are not the same person. #Soup actually came up with a Hulk/Dr Banner parallel to explain the glaring differences between Bruce and Helloworld rather than accept reality and the physical laws of space and time.

Nevertheless he continues to publicly malign an individual with full knowledge that, not only is he making a poor guess, but he is blatantly wrong. Leo doesn’t care, what’s important to him is that he gets people to stop talking about his incident and if he disparages an innocent someone publicly, well F it.

[Redacted]
[Redacted]
5/27/2015  CEO/Wife Lisa Laporte “But it seriously crosses a line when it becomes targeted harassment, cyberstalking, and there are threats of violence–especially when your children are in the crosshairs.”

Seriously, threatening children? Seriously? And this “threat” that no one saw just happened to occur on the same day Leo accidentally released a picture of his penis on the live stream. Are there really people over the age seven who believe this fabrication?
A quote from one of  Leo’s mentally stable fan base:

<cr1> Leo, you are experiencing what China is doing to the rest of the internet on a smaller scale

Post Script: Something is up with the mods, I think they may be getting tired of defending Leo. One thing is certain, whatever he says publicly is going on is not what is actually going on. Paying mods is odd.

Leo Laporte is Causing Viewers to Threaten Members of Total Drama

Hilton A. Goring could not be reached for comment.
Hilton A. Goring could not be reached for comment.
Habitual liar and soup guzzler Leo Laporte this week felt he figured out who Total Drama is. He is desperate for his fan base to believe it’s one person, but as stated previously, We Are All Total Drama. We know he doesn’t believe that it’s #OneAss, but he needs his audience to believe it so they don’t find Total Drama. Tell everyone you know and join us in our live chat.

Witness Leo Go After a Critic Mercilessly On-Air

Ask yourself: “What “celebrity” does this with their bully pulpit, other than Leo Laporte?”

One sycophant's threats for which #Soup is responsible. It will probably not be the last.
One sycophant’s threats for which #Soup is responsible. It will probably not be the last.

The gloves come off

Leo went too far.

Fact: If you are in the public eye you have to deal with critics.
True: Haters can go too far and warrant a  reaction……

In communist Russia we kill anyone who speaks against regime.
In communist Russia we kill anyone who speaks against regime.

However, I have not seen Skieast cross any lines. I have seen him point out that the host of a show can’t host. He may have even committed the crime of saying a show sucks. Does this give Leo permission to dox him and threaten that he is coming “up North” to see him? And must his rabid dog rush to his aid?

Should I be afraid to say that the guy playing Kingpin on Daredevil is doing a terrible job because the actor may come after me? They are breaking social etiquette and protocol. This is not the first time. Someone contacted my office via fax and set me on my #drama path. I was also the recipient of &Dan giving out my name in his chat to remind me who-is -boss. Did Leo intimidate Skieast? No, all he probably did was encourage him and others to do more.

d
P C is for cookie and if Leo goes after a critic so does effen

No one sees themselves as the bad guy, not Attila the Hun, Mussolini, Saddam Hussein or Osama Bin Laden. We all must occasionally look at ourselves. Has Drama gone too far? Yes, and I have to look at myself for that. Do you think the Petalumaites ever introspect? Have you ever heard an apology uttered from Keller street?

So don’t lump Skieast in with anyone else, we are all responsible for our own actions. I ask again, what did Skieast do? What if Skieast was a 14 year old kid and actually felt threatened? Doesn’t TWiT champion shutting down Twitter because* someone tweeted a gamer girl that they want to kill her?

Critics are important. If TWiT does not have a woman on after rotating through 15 guests or if TWiT has 70 hosts/independent contractors and not one is black maybe they should be called out. If they destroy peoples hard work (Framerate, NSFW) maybe fans have a right to know. The reason they get mad is because the illusion they built is coming down. That is it.
An AMA is supposed to be a love fest, no critics (trolls) allowed.

Does anyone want to play a game with no rules? It would get out of hand.

*I do not actually follow the gamergirl story so my details are probably wrong.

Leo Laporte Doesn’t Understand Fair Use

Lecherous Leo Laporte had quite the Reddit AMA yesterday. The shutins and nazi mods were out in full force to downvote any criticism or opposition. Unfortunately for #Soup, unlike the chat room they can’t ban you there; they can only hope you don’t view the downvoted comments (you should).

Here’s one interesting tidbit (there will be more to come from this AMA which was a gold mine as we expected):

That's not how that works. That's not how any of this works!
That’s not how that works. That’s not how any of this works!

Old License

Seems reasonable.
Seems reasonable.

New License

We knew something smelled fishy.
We knew something smelled fishy.

Hilton A. Goring could not be reached for comment.
Hilton A. Goring could not be reached for comment.
Total Drama noticed this license change within weeks and we figured it was for this reason, but now that Leo has publicly confirmed, we felt it was time to school him in the US doctrine of Fair Use under the United States Copyright law. He may want to ask Denise Howell for more advice.

From the “What Is Fair Use?” page at Stanford University’s “Copyright & Fair Use” section:

What Is Fair Use?

Leo Laporte
Transformative.
In its most general sense, a fair use is any copying of copyrighted material done for a limited and “transformative” purpose, such as to comment upon, criticize, or parody a copyrighted work. Such uses can be done without permission from the copyright owner. In other words, fair use is a defense against a claim of copyright infringement. If your use qualifies as a fair use, then it would not be considered an illegal infringement.

Commentary and Criticism

This is what he thinks of the chatters
We certainly criticize this guy.
If you are commenting upon or critiquing a copyrighted work — for instance, writing a book review — fair use principles allow you to reproduce some of the work to achieve your purposes.

Parody

Parody.
Parody.
A parody is a work that ridicules another, usually well-known work, by imitating it in a comic way. Judges understand that, by its nature, parody demands some taking from the original work being parodied. Unlike other forms of fair use, a fairly extensive use of the original work is permitted in a parody in order to “conjure up” the original.

Dear reader, we’ll leave it up to you to decide. Please join us in our live chat room to discuss this further, a place free of censorship, unlike the TWiT Live Chat Room or #Soup’s AMA. Feel free to say things like “All the king’s horses and all the king’s men, couldn’t get Leo to fit in an amusement park ride again.”

This story is a result of a tip sent in by a reader via the “Feedback & Tips” link on the right. Keep ’em coming!

Before You Host

Today I would like to examine how Padre destroyed another show. When the wonderful Nicole Lee was at TWiT she created a show that seemed a perfect fit for their audience. A product review show. This show has been destroyed by pure laziness. Let us take a look at exactly what they choose to review now that Padre is at the helm. On the latest episode I’ll admit they did review one proper product, The Samsung Galaxy S6. A device people may actually be interested in purchasing. But let us inspect and opine on what else piqued their interest.

BYBInsta
Junk is junky

Myriam bought a $99 Kickstarter gadget that was essentially an ancient dumbed-down Android tablet running the Instagram app. I ask you Padre, does this need to be reviewed? Are there more than eight people inhabiting our planet interested in buying this? We know Myriam had it lying around her apartment but is that a reason it should be featured on the show? And of course the review consisted of her shitting on the product for being exactly what anyone with a brain would have expected it to be.

I love being on camera
I love being on camera

The next product on the agenda was a mystery to me. I watched the review four times and still do not know what the product was. It was either an accessory to a professional television camera, a rig to hold the camera or an actual camera. The chances of anyone from the audience being remotely interested in making this purchase lies somewhere between zero and zero.

Another day
Another day, another toy

If the quadcopter fans don’t get enough of them contraptions on Know-How, and if hundreds of hours of coverage of these things have not quenched their thirst, Padre reviewed another one. In summary: push the joystick forward and it goes forward, push right and it goes right, et cetera et cetera.

Plug it in
Plug it in?

I do not have any idea what the last product he reviewed was. (see right) But I think I have ten of them in one of my drawers in an old dresser. Padre, here is a free tip on how to do a product review show; review products people want reviewed. It is not complicated. Anyway remember, “if you’re gonna take a shit, do it while you watch, Before You Buy. See ya next time.”

The ew creen avers

Motion denied legal zoom, you’re not an attorney!
Motion denied legal zoom, you’re not an attorney!

This Ill-conceived show is off to a rough start. Apparently the legal team at TWiT may have misspoke when they proclaimed the ‘Screen Savers trademark’ to have lapsed. A cease-and- desist arrived special delivery. Laporte says he will fight NBC/Comcast but our money says he will acquiesce to their demands and change the name. He may even need to hire an attorney, sometimes you need to spend greenbacks on legal talent too. Our guess is the TWiT legal team is actually the ceOH and a database search.

When does Gûm host?
When does Gûm host?

The show seems destined to go over budget anyway. Much like I’d Fund That, we don’t see them getting guest hosts or guest spots to show up on a Saturday without paying money. Their board (see left) does look cool though. What if Kevin Rose cancels like he did for the anniversary episode? This issue combined with the fact that this is primarily a video show leaves us worried about the fate of the show. Maybe in yesteryear with the lovely and talented Sarah Lane, Iyaz with a how-to segment, Shannon, Becky, Tom, a Kiki science segment, Veronica, Justin and Brian, it had a chance. But the new crop of hosts is not really cut out for broadcasting. We assume all the expected fumbling and bumbling is why the show will not be recorded before the live-stream. Podcasting revenue is 80% from audio down-loads you know.

You get even this close...
You can stay but if you  get even this close…

Speaking of legal questions and since we have attorneys in our audience, help me out: Let’s say the lovely and talented Sarah Lane comes to NY for TechCrunch Disrupt. I list my apartment on AirBNB for a crazy low price. I reject everyone until I get Sarah as a tenant. Then, when she is in the shower I enter the apartment to check the water pressure, is that illegal?

UPDATE: They kept the Framerate and NSFW names in spite (never used them) so maybe they could trade those for TNSS? What goes around does tend to come back around.

UPDATE: The issue at hand is not Trademark but copyright. We do believe TWiT infringed on their copyright but our legal experts do not think Comcast can win in court.

Funky Smell Causes Shut-Ins to Revolt

Love me or I kill you
Love me or I kill you

It was announced last night that the GizWiz was cancelled. Or, if you speak TWiT; GizWiz is transitioning into an expansion off the network.

Chad had a lovely dinner with Leo and ceO but we can not confirm what was discussed. What we do know  is that Gizwiz is moving to an independent model with  help from TWiT.

“Help from TWiT”

What is going on? Surely Chad knows how to set-up a Patreon on his own. Is TWiT chipping in cash,  out of the goodness of their heart? Is TWiT getting a cut of the profits? [speculation] More likely this is an experiment to help determine if TWiT can combine the Patreon model into the TWiT network somehow. Imagine if MBW got money from fans, in addition to advertising, under the illusion of paying the hosts more and then subsequently guess-who keeps the bulk of the contributions! Patreon will be soiled and made unpure.

Obviously #totaldrama is unable to throw our support at this Patreon without the murky details.

Padre was on hand for the taping of Chad’s final appearance on GizWiz to supply fake laughter and help control the sheep.

<+PadreSJ> eric######, do you even read what you write? Chad wasn't fired. The show wasn't cancelled. Nobody is upset... but you want it to seem as if Chad was canned, DickyD was forced out and there's bad blood. -- I'm just tired of the constant negativity.

Also, Sarah wasn’t fired from IPT & they’re working on a show for Shannon

[21:35] <eric#####> congrats, never /ignored a host before

Look at this, a member of TWITLIVE has a spine, congrats to you sir

 <&Dan> eric##### you may want to consider getting a life someday.  i let you troll in here for a good 2+ hours

He let you speak and talk and even emoji, how bout thanking him, Eric

 <@ScooterX> Cere####: FYI: thegizwiz is NOT off the network, he will be featured on The New Screen Savers and the Giz Fiz is not gone. <@ScooterX> as well as TTG weekly

Translation: You stupid fan, get with the program

 <&Dan> you don't think i'm reading what you're writing, holmes? 🙂 <&Dan> i left, went somewhere, come back, and you're still taking little 3rd grade girl potshots

Sexist? Insults? Family friendly? Where did he go? Bathroom? 

Thank god for Instagram. The only place I can go to be free of trolls.

This post is brought to you by our new sponsor who we loooove. They’re so great. Offercode:Drama I got 2 wives from them:

The paradox of paradoxes

The following was sent to me from Captain Juno. The Captain is afraid and receiving threats.

Is he in danger
Is he in real danger?

The captain has made all his videos private (except one) due to these threats. We must unite and get YouTube to change its policies. This bill cosby (if that is his real name) is a troll. Junogate is out of control.

Update 1: In case anyone missed the point. The Captain is not a victim of online harassment. The Captain is not in fear for his life.  YouTube, Twitter and every other online service do not need to change their policies. People are silly on the internet and say silly stuff. Ignore it. We do not need the YouTube API to write an anti-troll script.

Update2: I am sad to report that Captain Juno was killed in a car bombing.

Update 3: Just kidding

Happy Times

What a wonderful moment for the TWiT family.

Leo was humble throughout the broadcast as he kindly took the loving fans on a genuine ride through the history of TWiT. He was magnanimous as he thanked Jason Howell, Colleen, JammerB, Chad, Eileen, DeBartolo, Dane, Steve Gibson and Paul Thurott. (He developed an odd cough when thanking people) He cajoled his panel and told them how much of a fan he is of theirs. He asked Roger Chang if he was still doing that show, whose title he forgot, and then told Rog how much he loves that show. His dear friends including Kevin Rose, Morgan Webb and Chris Pirillo sent in video congratulations.

JCD may have gotten himself banned once again from TWiT, until he is needed to appear on a show.
JCD may have gotten himself banned once again from TWiT

The chat room’s heart filled with sentiment as John C. Dvorak recalled some old stories and watched videos from great days of long ago. One such moment saw JCD reminisce on the time they filmed the show from the Apple store and Leo refused to invite over the famous female Podcaster [Leo hated.] (Odds: 3-2 Veronica, 5-2 Cali, 6-1 Molly) Then there was my favorite segment when he thanked the fans. He could not do it without them and their continued support.

TWiT Employee Hilton was not thanked
TWiT Employee Hilton was not thanked

TWiT went on to shock the fans with the announcement of the New Screen Savers. He promised us amazing hosts from Kevin Rose and Kate Botello to whomever.  Journalist/friend Jason Hiner published his #scoup/puff-piece detailing the event as soon as it was announced. After the show Padre came out to sit with Leo and bask in the glow of Leo. They spoke of the show they are creating for the fans and how great it will be. Leo told Padre how he thought he will be Pope one day.

I wish I could express how I felt in words but as I am fortunes favored fool I came across a video that summed up how I and the whole panel felt:

Notable absentees were great friend Kevin Spacey, the dark triangle, dear friends and sponsors, Alan Mulally  CEO FORD Motors,  Lynda Founder Lynda.com, Bill Harris CEO Personal Capital, Carbonite CEO and other loves who happen to be sponsors.

Screenshot 2015-04-22 17.49.44

Diamond Club Sweeps Podcast Awards

I'll huff and I'll puff
I’ll huff and I’ll puff

Once upon a time there was a very clever wolf who spotted some delicious looking grapes high up in a tree. The shrewd wolf tried everything to get at those grapes. He howled as he tried to learn to climb a tree,  he flung what he could at the grapes and he tried to shake the grapes loose.  But he couldn’t get the grapes. Eventually, he gave up, walked away and muttered, “sour grapes anyway!”

TWiT Employee Hilton could not be reached for comment
TWiT Employee Hilton could not be reached for comment

Diamond Club swept the 2015 Podcast Awards; Night Attack won two awards, DTNS won and Frogpants won, it was a Bona-fide shellacking.  Ever the bitter, ugly step sister, TWiT mods went on to tell their chat room that the trouncing  was the result of an illicit script and they all but accused <> of cheating. Had Elgun been nominated and subsequently lost, we expect he would have shifted the blame to Chinese hackers but alas TNT was not nominated. (Nominations may have been compromised by the Russians following the China model.)

Adam Curry succumbed to the propaganda and neglected his mission of propagating the truth, as he faithfully repeated the mantra about a magic script and the haters, on his No Agenda podcast. Even J.C.D., the 4th place winner of the ‘2014 Sexiest People in Tech award,’ complained about the haters. JCD, what if people claimed you were really only the 8th sexiest, how would you feel?  Why not just complain that Diamond Club fans have higher powered graphics cards and better track wheels in their mice?

It is fan voting and the fans voted, deal.

If #TotalDrama ever lost an award we would be gracious. I know this in my heart of hearts.