TNT not even trying anymore

Who gives a fuck about having the show look nice?
Who gives a fuck about having the show look nice?

“Tech News Today” has finally just given up. The next step apparently is to just shut off the cameras and board up the studio. So with the Nov. 12, 2014 episode we now just have guests talking directly into the lower third.

We remember fondly the days when TNT actually gave a fuck.


Mike Elgum just can’t be a real person, can he?

Mike Elgum's fake smile may belie a more sinister intention. Or not.
Mike Elgum’s fake smile may belie a more sinister intention. Or not.

We will never tire here at #TotalDrama of sharing the ridiculous way that “Tech News Today” host Mike Elgum reads ads on his childish show. Does Squarespace really think that this is the way people should hear about their product?

What remains unclear is whether Elgum could possibly be a real person with real feelings. So what’s behind the empty, fake smile? At #TotalDrama, we like to pride ourselves on answering questions, not posing them…but we are really at a loss with this one.

Tom Hanks, what a guy

Loves Elgum
Loves Elgum

So douchebags always start sentences with the word “so.” A few years ago I was home alone watching the Oscars. Jon Stewart was hosting, and at that time Jon was not such a big shot. Tom Hanks, one of the true nice guys of Hollywood is set to come on stage. Jon Stewart begins the segment with Tom’s introduction, they play some music, massive curtains give way and Hanks starts to walk out in front of everyone in Hollywood and the television audience. I think I see Tom yelling something angrily for a half second but the camera cuts away from him. Did I imagine it? I rewind it over and over (yay cable tv DVR $4.99) and I was right. He was pissed as hell.

Hear me roar
Hear me roar

The next day I come to work and of course people are discussing the Oscars. That reminds me of what I saw and I am amazed that no one else noticed it. I check the internet to find out what happened and it is no where on the internet. Was it a dream? I scour the internet and finally find it mentioned on some forsaken forum.  Apparently he was upset that they played him out to music (Forrest Gump I think) that he did not want. What an asshole. I thought he was such a great guy, he seemed so nice on Ellen or some such show.

Slave Owner
Slave Owner

Low and behold a year or two later they are shooting a movie (a very common occurrence on the streets of NYC) of Mr. Hanks’ on some Avenue in Manhattan. Some cretin with a clipboard and a lot of keys is waving everyone across the street. (Usually they are set up for hours with celebs in trailers and only shoot for like 15 minutes) So, Tom is there and I start screaming, “Tom, Tom, Tom!” at the top of my lungs. He ignores me so I scream louder and he looks at me all agitated. So I scream, “Tom wave! Tom Wave!” and he finally rushes an insincere wave. What a fuckhead. He waved like I was annoying him, meanwhile I was nice and crossed the street instead of walking right past the clipboard wielding  freak on a headset, even though I know the permit doesn’t preclude me from walking right through their precious setup. Bottom line, celebrities are like U.S. Presidents, they are all assholes or they wouldn’t be President.


I like to think we have come to a place in society where men view women as equals. Where we see more than pretty faces and boobs.

Leo & Steve, if you want to have this conversation, do it off-air. And please, if you do it on air, why include it in the official podcast?

Let me guess, Leo will have three men on TWiT again this week, and maaaaaaaybe Christina Warren who hasn’t realized what a pig the guy is, yet. At least Steve has an excuse, he fell in love, hard. (Original podcast is here)


A fan compiled the following video and is looking for more clips, if you have any, respond in the comment section on YouTube.

If you’re a #soup fan, or you are reading this Sarah, and you think this is ok because it’s joking around, ask yourself this: What would happen if Jason made any of these comments about Lisa, is it different when it’s not the boss making the comments? Would employee Jason be in trouble for saying these things about Lisa? Hmmmm A boss gets to say less, not more than everyone else. And this banter is not done for “the show” it is always in pre/post show, so don’t try that rationale.

*Thanks to Captain Juno for his tutelage in video editing and iMovie. I did 1st video
**i hate to agree with Leo, but he was right, those boots don’t go with that skirt.An outfit accentuating the leg should flow to the foot or a tight boot/shoe. The open shaft is too cowgirlesque.

Standards & Practices

Love is in the air when this airs!
Love is in the air when this show hits the airwaves!

There are a few news outlets that give respectable journalism institutions like #TotalDrama a bad name. Take TWiG, never has there been a more biased editorial(?) news(?) or reporting(?) program on any screen. A show fraught with love for a company that is in dire need of coverage by real journalists. Google is a powerhouse with a mighty hand in modern society that needs to be scrutinized. Instead the gang at TWiG drools over the company and its employees. They swallow the stories of Google Glass saving lives in surgery and self driving cars making the world a better place like [redacted] swallowing [redacted.]They literally apologize for putting Google multimillionaire Matt Cutts on the spot with questions.

Stunning look!

Corporate shill and purple faced kook Jarvis continues to press for a job, at the Goog, but continues to be denied. Google PR has decided that unbiased love of Google will be more effective coming from an outsider. A decision was made to keep him off payroll but attached to the Goog’s nipple via lucrative speaking engagements, unparalleled access, and business trips across the world to the finest hotels.

Something you wont find at TWiT
You wont find  this on the TWiT mantle!

#TotalDrama has standards. One standard is verifying leads. We have a pair of stories that our audience would be extremely interested in but we have been unable to corroborate with two independent sources. Our board met and decided the best way to move forward is to present the stories as what they are at this time, speculation.

Story 1

Something is awry with the #twitlive IRC. It is a fact that the longtime head poobah of the chat-room seems to be out. What we don’t know is why. That guy would never give the position up voluntarily. Additionally, the mods have been biting their acid tongues on kicks in recent weeks. Have they been given a stern lecture by the real boss?  Keep your eyes open for what went on behind the scenes.

Story 2

It appears that TWiT sponsor (spelled with a “Y”) may have had something to do with the new format of the travesty of a show called Coding 101. Did they have an issue with a how-to-show being on TWiT which competes with their core business? A long standing promise by TWiT is that sponsors will never dictate content. But we know about TWiT and its promises. [emoji]Winkyface[/emoji]

*Note If anyone has a lead, the email address will forward to someone on our team. Thanks to our fans, we could not do it without you!

**Note If you want to try they are sponsored by the 5by5 network. If they sponsor a Sarah Lane program this will be updated

Gynecological Breakthrough

The  World Congress on Ultrasound in Obstetrics and Gynecology just ended with some interesting developments. The findings at this latest conference in Barcelona were not based on any TWiT programs and have upended the entire medical establishment. It appears that if a male gazes at a female with enough craving and unrestrained lust a woman can become impregnated.  Again we emphasize this was not based on any TWiT programs.

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Not voting

I am tired of celebrities telling me to vote. Butt out of my life, I got shit to do. On the other hand, Sarah probably votes.

Why oh why does Leo have so much trouble getting guests on TWiT? That program does 65K downloads with four ads at 70 CPM, that is quite a lot of moola. If that show dies his network is in serious trouble. Well maybe blaming Chad for no one wanting to be on TWiT will work. Let’s watch a short video together, shall we?

Maybe pissing off Tom, Brian, Justin, Shannon, Chad, iYaz and losing their friends Molly, Veronica, Scott Johnson etc etc is starting to have an effect? Maybe insulting people on your stream like you did to John dVorak, Jolie O’dell, Chris Prillo etc etc is starting to have an effect? Yea, that could be it. Maybe

Lisa Kentzell proves to be a real charming fan favorite

TWiT CEHo Lisa Kentzell turns out to be a real charming personality and super-talented financial wizard with a real talent for fan interaction. Watch and learn as this finishing school valedictorian takes each question on “Inside TWiT” and spins the answers into pure gold as she delicately traverses the ins and outs of the inner workings of the business that Leo Laporte has worked so hard to build. It’s also breathtaking to watch the loving and caring way that the two show their regard for each other…truly a match made in heaven.

OK, so here’s the real truth behind this video: Lisa proves to be a world-class cunt when refusing to discuss anything of substance on the most recent, and most likely last edition of “Inside TWiT.” Watch as she displays an awe-inspiring lack of grace when she publicly tries to humiliate Leo by belittling his answers to chatroom questions about the future of the network they so obviously are interested in.

Let’s Take A Break from Drama!

To welcome back a long lost friend in #Twitlive, &Dan!

Yes he is back, and back with a bang.

#twitlive, TWiT’s family-friendly chat, where all are welcome1 saw a few posts by our formerly missing moderator this Friday afternoon.

Only one of note. One managing to make fun of two, maybe three, separate groups of unfortunate people.

Screenshot 2014-10-31 17.28.38

  • Those with Asperger’s Syndrome2
  • Those with neckbeards3
  • Those those that might be called trolls4

So three groups, all loving tech and loving TWiT, cast aside in one comment by Chief Mod and Kicker/Stomper, Dan.  Too bad Leo, we had hopes for a rapprochement, not to be.

  1. Exceptions to ‘welcome’:  no trolls, no non family friendly chat, no unAmerican chat, no excessive chat on one topic, no transgender chat, no Black chat, no chat about mods  and definitely no chat about any TWiT internal workings
  2. Asperger syndrome (AS) is an autism spectrum disorder (ASD), one of a distinct group of complex neurodevelopment disorders characterized by social impairment, communication difficulties, and restrictive, repetitive, and stereotyped patterns of behavior.
  3. Neckbeard: A beard that is grown just in the neck region. Clean shaven face, full neck beard.
  4. Troll.  In Old Norse sources, beings described as trolls dwell in isolated rocks, mountains, or caves, live together in small family units, and are rarely helpful to human beings.