Many of the kids out there are dreaming of one day becoming a Gumbot. But..it’s hard to know where to start. We at #TotalDrama care about the kids so we put this guide together:
Always speak in one tone and never show any inflection in your voice
Make jokes nobody gets, are not funny and make no sense to anyone but Joe Panetierri
Always wear black high crew neck undershirts. If they come in style just switch to white or try a V-neck
Pre Show interaction with fans should consist of saying “Whaddup chickenhead”
Post Show interaction with fans should last for no more than 20 seconds after picking a title
Segue into every ad read with: ……In a sec …..but first
Never say ‘a lot’ or ‘many’ you will say bazilion or gazillion
Never say ‘funny’ you will say ‘hilarious,’
Start every new thought with; “well”
Use only the following six adjectives: Astonishing, Awesome, Important, Creepy, Scary and Cool, If you need more you can amend like so:
1.Really (ie) Awesome
2.Really really (ie) Awesome
3.Super (ie) Awesome
Call people by their first and last name; Good morning Jason Howell. What do you think Don Reisinger?
Go on for 5 to 10 minutes with any thought and allow guests to do likewise, babel away, do not get to the point
The proper amount of time to spend on a dumb theory of yours is 20 minutes per half hour
The show length is irrelevant. Listeners will adjust their commutes, you’re an important news man.
Any press release from Google Inc. related to G+ or Google Glass, is a lead story
App updates in IOS are a #scoup
Ask bloggers how to run major corporations and countries regardless of their education or intelligence
Disparage Supreme Court Justices, CEOs and heads of state as “not knowing what they are doing”
Fans of repetitive idiocy rejoiced Thursday as Elgum’s favorite phrase, “Waddup chickenhead” set the World Record for shout-outs, after surpassing the billionth time the phrase was referenced before the start of “Tech News Today.”
Congrats to both Elgum and chickenhead!
Just a quick note to let you know that the FAQ (Frequently Asked Questions) is now available at the top right of the screen. This section will evolve over time, but for now includes a section outlining seminal Events in Twit history and also a Nicknames section that attempts to catalog the various monikers bestowed upon the infamous denizens of the Shit Twithouse.
At #TotalDrama we believe in balanced reporting, here is a post by a TWiT fan. (Not Chickenhead, the other one)
A lot of you seem to give Leo and the gang a hard time. Well I am here to defend them. If you want to shut me up then delete my post and violate my US Constituation and 2nd Amendment and the DMCA. Thats write, I am a USA sitizen. So eat it,
You guys wine wine and wine some more. ROFL. How about some cheeze for you’re whine. LOL. Did you ever think that the fans like the new improved twIt. Duh. I mean, wen there i s breaking tech news i finaly has a place to go. Four xample, when Steve Jobs died I turned to twIt and ELgam was awesome. They even set up a camera in his office that i love the most. Did you jakasses ever think why they did that? (No) because your morons.
So imagine, if you will, there is braking news. Like Sahatcha Nudela is hired, they dont have to waste time having Mike walk to the set. they can go strait to Mike via the tricaster (not that you even know what that high tech is) and not waste prestigious time walking two the set.
Youse you’re brains for once. The new twit rocks. I mean it has totaly transformized into the CNN of tech. In the old days they just covered stupid events and when Steve Jobs died. Now, you see them breaking in to the big stories when they break. Think back to the great moments of breaking news and it is only 8 months in. Hello, oculus rift coverage was amazingballs. I like my news breaking.
BREAKING NEWS: Leo Laporte announced on an impromptu version of “Inside TWiT” today that he was thinking of suing both Google and Twitch.tv for “reverse confusion” and trademark infringement of his signature TWiT network. Whatevs. You’re going to lose that one fat man.
Is there any possible way this doofus can get any more doofus-ier?
So one of the all-time greatest Tweeters in human history, the magnificent #leolaportesucks, has retweeted one of the masterpieces of the hate-piece genre. Here it is for you to enjoy in all its malignant glory: https://twitter.com/LeoLaporteSucks/status/497125411781111808