Analyzing TWiT Lgum Style

Lgum Style Analysis

I have looked at the TWiT hosts and noticed a striking difference between TWiT hosts and the hosts of Fox news. Now, we are not saying they should hire models, but we do ask that they have some pride in their appearance. Go on a diet, work out, you’re on my TV,  you work in media, be presentable. You don’t need a flat stomach like Sarah, but please, show some restraint when they serve dessert.

See the evidence for yourself and decide..

TWiT Hosts

Leo

Ech
Ech

FoX News

blond_women_of_fox

This is scientific unbiased research, draw your own conclusions.

Thank god for Sarah Lane.

Getting ready for the week ahead at Twit

So it’s shaping up to be an amazing week—let’s all be sure to make sure we’re ready for this. Be prepared. Give your best. Make America (and Canada and other parts of the world) proud and strong again. Create a legacy that your kids will be proud of.

Leo Laporte
Leo Laporte

Oh, who am I kidding? Nobody at Twit gives a sh*t. So why should we? F*ck it. Bring on the Orange Dancing Monkey and the Fat Ass Fancy Toilet Monster (Elgum and Leo) and let’s just get this thing over with.

Always be Reporting

I am away for the weekend, hence my lack of activity. However, I will not let #drama down. I have conducted an official survey on the entity known as Gumbot and am about to publish my results.
So here they are:

Since Jan 1:

Total Sick days: 0
Total vacation days:0
Total personal days:0
Total speaking flubs: 782 (shitrix counts twice)

As a scientist I do not offer anything but data and will not, I repeat will not, make any conclusions based on said data.mike-elgan

TNT’s lack of professional broadcast color standards

tnt-colorbalance
A typical screen grab of TNT with Elgum appearing with an unnatural hue the color of a Florida orange and the guest showing up as an afterthought in the color balance game.

Since the dawn of color television in the early 1950s, continuing through the late 1960s with the wide adoption of color televisions in American homes, broadcast network engineers have taken pride in presenting a vibrant and dazzling world of color. Professional broadcasters pay special attention to proper color balancing, constantly adjusting for subtle differences in shade and tone.

jarvis-purple
Jeff Jarvis appears purple on “This Week in Google.”

At Twit, however, exactly the opposite seems to be the order of the day. For reasons that have yet to be addressed, it is impossible for Twit to present the show hosts and guests in consistent and realistic color. From episode to episode of “This Week in Google,” for example, co-host Jeff Jarvis appears as either purple, light purple, pink, or dark pink and rotates from one moment to the next in a never-ending merry-go-round of washed out or sickly underexposed positions.

To further the unpleasant color viewing experience, Elgum can do nothing else than appear as an orange-faced monkey. In stark contrast, his guests can be relied upon to appear as either too dark, too light, too blue or in some cases barely even visible. (See photo above.)

So one would think that with a near total domination of white men showing up on every show, it should be easy for TNT to get the color balance right. Just imagine how the brains would be melting in Petaluma if staff were called upon to actually color balance an African-American woman’s skin tone with the putrid orange of Elgum’s face.

Come on, Leo. Take a little pride in your company and demand better of your engineering staff. Viewers deserve it and I’m certain the advertisers would appreciate being part of a more professional network.

Seriously? Elgum is an orange. And the co-host is a white sheet, slightly tinged with purple. Nice.
Seriously? Elgum is an orange. And the co-host is a white sheet, slightly tinged with purple. Nice.

What exactly is Elgan Media?

Our team of crack (not on, but crack) investigative reporters has jumped on this after HelloWorld revealed the company behind TheGum™ , Elgan Media.

A quick google search and some guessing found the following:

elganmedia-whois

It appears to be the employee of TWiT currently know as Gum, but the address might be a previous secret lair.

So a Mike Elgum (TheGum™) is the mad genius who has created this media empire.

LinkedIn give us confirmation.  Gum + wife + unnamed 3rd party (house mate??)

elganmedia-linkedin

But this media empire, have their domain listed as elganmedia.com has the world beating site:

elganmedia-website

It’s sort of Squarespace© v-00.1.  Web 101. Starter site.

Let’s get this going Gum!,  You’re fans are waiting

Mike Elgan’s (Lgum) Facebook page is a childish joke

elganmedia
Click to see Elgum’s Facebook page

Waddup chickenhead? According to a hot tip from a #totaldrama mega-fan, Elgum’s Facebook page lists him as the Chief Executive Officer at Elgan Media, Inc.

Let’s hope this is merely a joke. Because once Lisa Kentzell gets wind of this, Elgum will be bounced out of the Shit Twithouse faster than an electric dildo being shot out of Leo’s slimy bum.

The battle between Sarah and Amber

So the battle of the millennium is playing out online. It’s an age old question: Who’s hotter? The sweet blond who’s actually sexy, or the poser who tries too hard and wears glasses and too much lipstick and basically fails at being a hottie?

strawpollYou can also register your vote at the Straw poll here.

I’ll let you decide. But just for the record, Sarah Lane is the sweet blond and Amber MacArthur is wearing lipstick. Vote your favorite in the comments section; just make sure it’s a vote for Sarah Lane.

amber
Amber “Too Much Lipstick” MacArthur
sarah2
Sarah “Just Perfect” Lane

Pioneering new words and word-forms

dictionaryWe here at #totaldrama pride ourselves on creativity and free expression. So it is in that celebrated spirit that today we are announcing the invention of a new word. It’s a modern union of English letters that takes both the best and the worst of two vile words and smashes them together in a frothy amalgam of something entirely cutting-edge and novel.

Presenting: Cuntch *

For decorum’s sake, I will not be revealing the two words that make up the mashup. Oh, what the hell, here they are: bitch and cunt.

Reporters reporting on other reporter’s reportings

bTyEB98TLThe TNT Way: Have a reporter on to talk about a story they’ve written. Fair enough. Not as good as having the actual newsmaker to tell their side of the story. But I’ll go along with it for now.

However, why would TNT host Mike Elgan have a reporter on to talk about what other reporters have reported? Is this like some kind of Inception joke? How about this: Engage in ORIGINAL REPORTING and broadcast it to your audience. This six degrees of separaton-style show is just not compelling enough to ever garner a real audience.