Broadcasting 101: Learn to drum a table

Here’s a hot tip for all you aspiring young broadcasters out there: It’s more important to learn how to drum your fingers on a table and scrunch up a piece of paper and throw it at an expensive video camera lens than it is to hone your craft. Forget well-researched stories. Begone pesky “work” getting great guests. All you need is those two tricks and you’re ratings gold.

071024_finger_roll-798191Remember, modern viewers don’t want news, they don’t want insightful commentary—they want people who can turn a wooden desktop into a percussion instrument. It’s what Walter Cronkite would have done if he had been able to afford a lobotomy.

So for now, I’m not naming names. I’m just going to leave this as a little reader quiz. Who do you thinks this post is about? Leave a comment if you would with your best guess. Thanks!

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