If you think we’ve forgotten about the trailblazing hostess of “Marketing Mavericks,” then you don’t know #TotalDrama. There’s plenty of time to dive deep into the bottomless pit that is Tonya Hall. So grab a bottle of hairspray, because girlfriend, we are gonna be here a while.
If you like a lively pre-show filled with girly giggles and a heavy dose of scarves and sweaters plus the largest laptop this size of Texas (more on these two tricks for the eye later) followed by a snoozefest of a show dealing with the intersection of the triangle connecting the parallelogram of marketing and the intergoogles, then “Marketing Mavericks” might just be the show for you. If you’ve ever wondered what the CEO of a suspect online retailer ate for breakfast or what the third-rate PR flack from a nearly bankrupt Web 2.0 company is twooterin’ and tweeterin’ about this month, then “Marketing Mavericks” is definitely the show for you.
But before we can get to all of that public-relationy amazingness, we have to address the elephant in the room: Tonya honey. Hey! Tonya. We’re talking to you. Listen girl. We are on to you. Update your decades-old Twitter profile pic. Lose the voluminous scarves that you’re hiding behind and for Chrissake step out from behind that gigantic laptop and embrace your inner NatureBox. Leo has; Padre has. Now it’s your turn. Say it loud, say it proud, “I am a big personality. And I will have a black person on my show before the end of the year.” Aw, who are we kidding? Twit doesn’t have black people on the air.
But seriously, who gives a flying fudge about marketing? “Marketing,” after all, is just a polite word for “fibbing.”