Tag Archives: Feature Story

Time to Throw Out the Real Trash

This report is a collaboration by Richard Yes and HelloWorld. (The really hateful stuff was HelloWorld.)

Angry unhappy mods
Angry, unhappy mods

Most everyone is familiar with the concept of term limits in the world of politics. We don’t usually think much of this as it seems like a pretty good way to give everyone a chance to govern. But in actuality, the idea of term limits has deeper and more reasoned roots. Oddly enough, the concept remains relevant in the case of more amateur congresses such as the local school council.

Two main problems exist with not having term limits. The first of which is that in elections the incumbent has an unfair advantage. Let’s say he or she has been the church president or library chairman or United States senator for 12 years and along comes some young upstart who thinks they can do a better job. This is a huge mountain to climb in the minds of the constituents. The second reason is that their power becomes too great and corruption sets in. Let’s discuss…

Laporte in action
Laporte in action

After a certain amount of time, relationships are built, a hierarchy is established and fear takes hold. This is what happened to the TWiT Internet Relay Chat: Originally intended as a place for TWiT fans to gather, to discuss among themselves and to build a community of their own, #twitlive eventually was destroyed by the overprotective and power-hungry moderators. And it is another sad, symbiotic dysfunctional relationship that our Gregarious Glutton and his laziness has allowed to grow. Exempli gratia: The Soupguzzler has often shielded himself from the biting blows of criticism by saying it’s not his IRC, it is in fact Dan_Macbook’s domain. In turn, Dan_Macbook says he is not to blame because it is the TWiT chatroom. In truth, we all know Dan_Macbook is merely a puppet—albeit a loyal puppet that seeks his master’s approval like a mongrel dog seeking a gentle [ewww] belly rub. But let us first examine the crime before laying blame:

Fan yelled at for saying "LOL" in caps
Fan yelled at for saying “LOL” in caps

Many have argued that it is Dan_Macbook and his band of fools who have caused the demise of TWiT. This may well be, but these overzealous chatroom moderators are surely responsible for the neutered behavior of the few remaining fans left in #twitlive. The “troll problem” that Soup brings up on nearly every recent show is a direct result of Dan and his ban-happy cohorts. They have become wicked people who think that because they are nice to each other and play kiss-ass with the hosts, that they are good people. It probably says in the  Bible somewhere: It is not how you treat your equals, but rather how you treat those whose stature is beneath you that points to your value as a “good person.” The great hero who runs the monumental Twitter account @leolaportesucks for the past three years, has documented these despicable insults. The mods hurl these mini-rants at everyone who dares to violate their capricious rules: Don’t know where twit.tv/cal is?—Gird yourself against an immediate insult. Use adult language?—Prepare to be spat upon like garbage. Have the gall to disagree with a host?—Forfeit your dignity with a kick and a rude comment. Compliment the lovely Sarah Lane on her beautiful hair?—Get an earful from a chastising chat mod.

The sign says prohibited doucebags
The sign says prohibited douchebags

We all know that a chatroom is not a democracy. And no one is saying put Dan_Macbook in jail. But it’s time to own up to the fact that he has ruined TWiT for the most active little fan soldiers among the formerly feared “TWiT Army.” And we can tell you that this is one army that has suffered mass desertions since Mike Elgum sat his orange ass down in the TNT anchor chair. How can Lisa ‘n’ Leo not notice that so many have gone AWOL? The ranks are thinning and it’s showing up in decreased advertising. Those who remain are like dogs on short leashes and offer nothing in the way of commentary, humor or insight. (Like Elgum himself.) On a personal note, I have been told to stop using #hashtags so much by a mod. #really #wtf #seriously #douchebag. Have my rights been taken away? No. Are the mods stupid? Yes.  Kick away, when people really need to be kicked. But why the disgusting insults? Does anyone say anything to these moderators, or are these rabid beasts allowed to run free? They have even given out users real names for fun, a practice known as doxing. Leo or Padre certainly will not stop these sociopaths. So who will?

Where do these dejected people go? Well, there are forums and websites all over the internet filled with the rejects from that chatroom. These heroes are uploading YouTube videos and posting in forums and hurting the reputation of SHiT, I mean TWiT. (Editors will fix that in post.) You can’t say that the “haters” and “trolls” will pop up against everyone who has a major audience—of course that happens. But you have to admit that the level of hate is beginning to exceed the level of love. I would guess that Gawker.com got their story of Leo “smelling and tasting” his mistress CEO from one such ex-fan. One mod has even been known to stalk people who leave TWiT to incite the hatred. Why do they do this? They are chatroom moderators for God’s sake, and their activities should remain confined to the chatroom. Dan_Macbook supplied the chat transcripts to the heavy-heaving hypocrite Leo Laporte—of his own volition—to get Erik Lanigan fired. Why on Earth would he do that to the poor kid?  Dan_Macbook is totally in need of a spanking, a cranking and a yanking.

If Dan Went Away
If Dan Went Away

So here’s where we stand: The mods are out of control—and it’s time to get rid of them. Even Soup has made fun of these keyboard cretins on the air many times. Oh, they whine and wail at first, but then they always come crawling back. The normal ones have completely ignored their modding duties or have simply quit. It breaks my heart to see human beings so used and abused; serving for 10 years out of love, a man who barely knows their names.

Follow Up Reporting

Unlike at TNT, we at #totaldrama excel in following up on stories. As an ace reporter for #totaldrama I can tell you that uncovering this next gCard._Jorge_Bergoglio_SJ,_2008em was worth the effort. Some time ago my esteemed colleague HelloWorld reported here that Fr. Robert Ballecer may absolve himself from his service to  Leo Laporte for a more fulfilling role serving  Pope Jorge Mario Bergoglio .

After much digging we found this is not the first time a phony baloney My Little Pony story came to the TWiT airwaves. After TWiT hemorrhaged talent in early 2014 a story was concocted that Pope Francis tapped Ballecer’s shoulder to get in the big game. According to TWiT founder Leo Laporte “he decided to turn down” that opportunity and remain at the SHiThouse. A story meant to assuage the fears of TWiT fans worldwide after the parade of exiting talent. The following tweets were Ballecer’s cryptic way of saying something without saying  anything, a technique mastered by Laporte himself.

The first tweet spoke about the offer:

The secmidishi_and_miashi_in_a_seesaw_by_shamashin-d5onozfond spoke on the dilemma of who to serve; Jesus Christ’s human representative on Earth at the city-state established by Pope Pius XI and  King Victor Emmanuel III of Italy in 1929. Home to such works of art as Michelangelo’s frescos Sistinehallon the Sistine Chapel ceiling.  Or Leo Laporte, an ego-maniacal, blowhard who waddles around the chicken capital of the world in a warehouse littered with malfunctioning PET computers and discarded soup containers.

Never has a #scoop been of more woe that of Ballecer and his boss Leo.

Either it’s a total lie made up to dupe fans or he actually turned the Pope down to work at TWiT. Pick your poison.