Leo looooves Wolfram Alpha. He told us so on the latest episode of iOS Today. While Megan Morrone poked at the iPad screen like a monkey, Leo droned on and on about how great Wolfram Alpha is.
We agree with him on that point. You can’t argue with the data. When Leo mentions searching names, Megan’s early-primate fingers type out “leo laporte” into Wolfram Alpha. What appears is magnificent.
Leo Laporte’s declining relevance, expressed in Wikipedia page hits over time.
Notice the dick pic bump in May 2015. That’s the last time people searched for him trying to figure out who “Leo Laporte” was when the story was picked up by Gawker, Perez Hilton, and TomoNews.
When we hear Leo realizing he’s a nobody, like Tonya proved at the Crunchies with her interviewing skills, he sounds really disappointed. Megan tries to console him with a statement of “People don’t use Wikipedia anymore.”
Really, Megan? Wolfram Alpha — which Leo Laporte loooooves — says Wikipedia is the 5th most popular site on the internet.
Thank you to the dark tipper who sent this in. We would have missed it. Submit your own tips to help us out.
Leo Laporte is no stranger to perverted thoughts. From the time he sexually harassed Sarah Lane, to the time he made a disgusting handjob joke about Megan Morrone’s daughter, there is one more thing even more certain than death and taxes, and that’s you can always count on Leo Laporte to say the most perverted things live on the air.
TWiT’s public relations consultant (O’Doctah) could not be reached for comment.
Case in point on This Week In Google, everyone’s favorite IoT princess Stacey Higginbotham was introducing a new camera appliance and made the unfortunate mistake of rubbing it up and down.
Instead of being a professional and letting this go Leo Laporte immediately went FULL PERVERT and told Stacey to “stop rubbing it”.
Not only was this embarrassing and completely avoidable, but it affirmed what we’ve been saying all this time… that Leo Laporte has possibly the most perverted mind in the universe.
Through the power of modern technology (thank you Starbucks) we’ve been able to see exactly what Leo Laporte was thinking the entire time. Viewer Discretion is Advised.
Update: The liar priest, who is supposedly without technology on a vow of silence, is now muting accounts on his personal YouTube (Proof) within 2 minutes (push notifications). Absolutely incredible.
Fr. Robert Ballecer
This is the Total Drama series Man of God, in which we chronicle the exploits of one Father Robert Ballecer, aka Grimace in a Priest Costume, aka The Digital Jesuit, aka <PadreSJ>, aka FMCP. Please use our dvr and send in tips with examples of his very Christlike behavior.
Something very strange is happening over on Father Robert Ballecer’s Twitter profile. The fat fake priest — aka FMCP aka PadreSJ — is pretending to have written an artificial intelligence bot that is running his Twitter.
He is supposedly away at a no-technology Jesuit retreat. Mercifully, this is the reason he is not appearing on TWiT right now.
I'm about to enter into silence. I'll be praying for all of you.
We found it odd that he has timely mentions of things that just happened, such as the new Doctor being announced and National Ice Cream Day — a holiday we are certain he celebrates daily.
[Dr. Who] is trending in my feed.
I'm being triggered by [female] [gender] [sexism].
We did some digging using the actual Twitter API. All of his Tweets are being posted from TweetDeck. Here’s the source attribute from almost all of his “bot” tweets:
He can’t control that string, because it’s set by Twitter’s server side based on the API keys being used. He’s 100% using the TweetDeck program to post his tweets.
TweetDeck can’t create Twitter polls. No consumer of the Twitter API can, including FMCP’s fictional “bot” lie. The fake priest logged onto the Twitter web site to post these polls:
"source":"<a href="http://twitter.com" rel="nofollow">Twitter Web Client</a>"
Some questions:
Did FMCP sneak a smartphone into the no-technology religious retreat under one of his many fat folds?
Is Bryan Burnett running FMCP’s Twitter and pretending to be a robot, not far from the truth?Edit: This hypothesis is improbable, now that we’ve seen he is policing his own YouTube/Google account via push notifications.
Does FMCP think anyone believes he knows how to program anything, let alone an artificial intelligence that can respond to current events? We’ve seenCoding 101.
Don’t forget to read the rest of the Man of God series detailing Father Robert Ballecer’s misdeeds in real life and on Twitter.
Time capsule of the last time Leo learned something new about technology.
Leo Laporte, Theeeeeeeeeeeeeee Tech Guy, had some technical difficulties with his System76 laptop during Triangulation.
After the show, he sought help from the shutins who frequent his chatroom and discuss Game of Thrones instead of the current guest.
Leo Laporte literally doesn’t even know what distribution he’s using, as you can see in the clip above. He desperately tries to follow Keith512’s instructions before giving up and saying he’ll just use a Mac from now on.
<@Keith512> what nvidia driver is it
<@Keith512> 375,381 or 384
<@Keith512> inxi -F will tell you
<@Keith512> maybe upgrade 375.66 to 381.22
<@Keith512> let me just check
Listen as Leo does various voice impersonations to try to deflect from the obvious awkwardness. It’s a long clip, but it’s painfully delicious.
Maybe he should follow his own advice for fellow grandpas and long-haul truckers:
Update: It appears Nate has landed on his feet. It’s a bit of a downgrade from the WSJ, but still an upgrade from unemployment/TWiT.
Maybe he could pass some of that luck on to Tony and Kara, whose LinkedIns remain stale.
The firings will continue until morale improves.
Dearly departed @NateOG.
No new bona fide shows will ever be created on TWiT. Leo lied when he said Mike Elgan would be creating a news division and traveling to Shenzen, China to cover tech developments there.
It should come as no surprise, then, that when the portly Laporte promised Nathan Olivarez-Giles (@NateOG) the opportunity to create new shows, including a car show (This Week in Leo’s Leased Tesla) and a Lets Play-style gaming show, that was merely bait to get Nate to stay a bit longer than he knew he should.
After getting Nathan to fill in on a few shows while failed CEO Lisa Laporte and Leo Laporte took their entire extended family to the Galapagos, he was summarily terminated upon their return. Was it because of him cursing out the live audience? We don’t know.
Nathan Olivarez-Giles, seen here in need of soap for his potty mouth
Leo didn’t hesitate to use the pre-taped Nathan segments on The New Screen Savers, without acknowledging the termination. They even trotted out the dead corpse of Nate’s employment with top billing in the newsletter. Leo Laporte has no conscience.
Can you believe they had the balls to force Nate to pre-record months of Know How segments — that they are currently airing — before terminating him upon Leo’s return from the Galapagos? Is it even legal under California law to make someone front-load their work for months that would be paid out later and then fire them?
Here’s to you, Nathan. We apologize you didn’t make it into the latest In Memoriam 2. You’ll be in #3 for sure.
Benner was phoning in to This Week In Tech to discuss her NYT’s article on how women entrepreneurs who seek financing from angel investors are often on the receiving end of inappropriate verbal advances and touching.
We at TotalDrama fully condemn these scumbags and hope they die a long and painful cancerous death.
The person responsible for finding a correct image of Benner was Karsten Bondy, the lovable but incompetent bow-tie wearing producer and technical director of such hit shows as Triangulation. However TotalDrama places 100% full legal responsibility (FLR™) for this screw up on the racist (example 1 & example 2) patriarch Leo Laporte who should have been the safety net here.
Not only has Benner been a regular guest on Tech News Tonight (which we hear Laporte watches religiously), but she’s also appeared two other times on This Week In Tech (appearance 1 & appearance 2). How does Leo Laporte not know what Katie Benner looks like at this point? Do all Asian people look the same to Leo Laporte? The rest of this trainwreck can only be experienced by watching the video above.
Update: Thanks to the #drama chatroom member who uncovered another photo of “Katie Benner” switched out at the last moment.
Editor’s Note: This one is a joke made by a chat room member, spoofing Leo’s racist error. The video and everything above is real.
Exposing The Dark Underbelly of TWiT, Leo Laporte, and Failed CEO Lisa Laporte
