Megan Morrone Vehemently Denies Being a Monkey

TWiT Put Up a Billboard in Times Square
TWiT Put Up a Billboard in Times Square

Megan Morrone has now put to rest all rumors about her genus and species. She vehemently denied she’s a monkey on Tech News Today, even though she paws at iPads with way too much pressure like a confused monkey.

Below you can see a comparison between our possibly-racist co-host Megan and her distant simian evolutionary cousin.

Side note: Nathan Olivarez-Giles, reporter for the Wall Street Journal, isn’t a very good journalist if he doesn’t know the copyright rests with the photographer, not the owner of the equipment. That was the entire point of the news story. Idiot.

Comparison between Megan and a monkey.
Comparison between Megan and a monkey.

Oddly, one of Megan’s fans from iOS Today drew her as either a monkey or as a — how do we put this?challenged person. Leo doesn’t fare much better in this artist’s rendering.

Finally, we have a shot of Megan’s arm:

Megan's hairy arm showing Selena's lack of preparation for a 4PM show.
Megan’s hairy arm showing Selena’s lack of preparation for a 4PM show.

Leo Laporte Can’t Even Get Anyone to Call “The Tech Guy” Anymore

Yesterday, we told you about there being no audience for The New Screen Savers. Today, we bring you a similar story.

Leo Laporte has finally run out of children, grannies, and long-haul truckers to call his sham of a call-in technology help show. The Tech Guy is his actual radio show where he encourages call-ins regarding “anything with a chip in it” while instead discussing his latest cruises with Johnny Jet and ridiculous cameras he buys with Chris Markfart.

Even Leo’s child stalker Elliot has lost interest. Will Premiere continue to allow Leo to request fake callers while parent company iHeart Media’s finances dive off a cliff?

Leo jokes about the situation, but perhaps people have finally reached their limit and he has worn out his welcome.

No Live Audience for TNSS Results in TWiT’s Rent-a-Cop Reading Cold Open

Update: Nobody calls The Tech Guy anymore either.

TWiT’s flagship show The New Screen Savers — the one that Leo Laporte constantly says is “a TV show” — had literally not one single person show up for the live recording on the most recent episode. Not one single sycophant even bothered to show up to see the rehashing of bullshit that Leo does on every one of his shows.

Nobody wanted to see Leo misuse TOR with his hardware firewall native ad. Nobody wanted to see Iain’s misshapen head and lack of a neck.

The viewership numbers have dwindled, but there are usually at least a couple sad sacks of shit that will show up to watch garbage in return for taking a photo with that guy who was on TechTV 10 years ago.

Ken has seen some shit.
Security guard Ken has seen some shit.

So instead, in what must be Leo Laporte’s ultimate shame, his reboot of The Screen Savers from the failed TechTV network had to have their own rent-a-cop do the cold open. Leo made jokes you can hear in the video above, which is what he does when he is uncomfortable.

Will Leo resort to paying for fake extras in the future? No. That costs money. Money is for cruises, shore excursions, and Leica equipment to try to convince Chris Markfart that he’s a real photographer.

Leo Laporte Admits He Never Prepares for TWiT Shows

Zero fucks given.
Zero fucks given.

It’s been pretty clear for a while that Lay-oh doesn’t give a shit about any of his shows. Honestly, watch any episode of Triangulation. It’s the one show where he should care and should know something about the guest.

Every single episode is him sitting there with a laptop open to the guest’s Wikipedia page reading factoids aloud. If it’s a book author, he flips through the pages, looking at the pictures and commenting on them like a bored child with a wheezy fake laugh. It’s shameful.

The video above should come as no surprise, but it’s rare to hear truth from Leo Laporte’s mouth.

Is he phoning it in because TWiT’s success is on autopilot — robot downloaders from people who forgot to unsubscribe, gaining unrealistically high Podtrac numbers from people who never listen to the episodes — or is it because it’s the beginning of the end?

I’m a little verklempt; talk amongst yourselves.

Bonus video from prior post

CES Exhibitor Confuses TWiT for a Jason Calcanis Project

In the video above, which must be immensely embarrassing to Leo Laporte, FMCP-underling Dick DeBartolo interviews a “smart” coffee mug maker on the CES floor. Immediately upon its conclusion, the exhibitor is confused about what TWiT is.

He initially thinks that TWiT is a Jason Calacanis This Week In project. Dick has to tell him that it’s Leo Laporte’s crap. The exhibitor asks what the reach of the video will be, but Dick must again defer to TWiT off-site producers who won’t give an answer.

It proves what we all know: beyond the tiny circle of influence #soup inhabits, TWiT isn’t even a recognizable brand to normal people in the tech scene.

Guest Review of the “New” Tech News Today

Guest Submission“Dave” wrote this guest review of Tech News Today and sent it to us. We appreciate reading your thoughts and feedback. Please send any feedback you have and feel free to chat with us in our IRC.

Last night, Megan Moronne teamed up with Jason Howell for the first of the “new” Tech News Today shows. The show promised a new format and a later starting time, re-envisioning itself in the wake of the Laportes’ firing of Mike Elgan. The later start time would allow the new team a whole day to assess the news for the 4 PM show and allow TWiT time to post the episode for those who want to catch up on the latest tech news during their “trip in to work.” Big promises were made for the little network with no news department. Did the show deliver on the promises and expectations? Well, yes… and no.

Gone Girl.
Gone Girl.
Since the Laportes fired Elgan, TWiT effectively has no news department or anyone on board who knows what news is. It is important to note that neither Megan Moronne nor Jason Howell have any training or real background in journalism (and it shows). They can sit themselves in front of cheap Canon cameras and pretend they are reading the “news,” but neither is qualified to even know what news is, much less how to gather or present it in a professional and interesting manner.

No one at TWiT actually (if ever) gathers news; they just regurgitate what others have put together, occasionally adding their interpretations or comments. Neither Megan nor Jason has anything in their history that qualifies their opinions or makes what they think worth spit. If TWiT had real journalists writing what Megan and Jason read, perhaps we could accept them as talking heads spewing out what someone more qualified had written… but that is not the case. If someone with a background in either tech or news were directing (that is, writing or producing; guiding) this show, we might see some semblance of journalism… but that again is not the case.

Show bad. Megan sad.
Show bad. Megan sad.
It is painfully obvious this show is put together last minute, on a wing and a prayer — and this was the first show! I doubt anything in the show is scripted at all. In the prologue to the show, Jason said as much, running through the various segments and pretty much saying, “We’ll wing it here…” This is not news journalism; I think it is just called “Put a warm body in a seat and have them talk for an hour.”

Et tu, Brute?
Et tu, Brute?
It was nice to see Tom Merritt on the first show. He looked a little lost and just followed where Megan and Jason led him… which was essentially nowhere. The show just wandered with no focus; it was just three people chatting about whatever popped into their minds.

That is ultimately what is wrong with the show: there was no news content. Megan Moronne and Jason Howell spent two weeks coming up with this new show — a show in which they promised news — and they give us a rehash of the TWiT show — a chat show. This show almost makes me wish Elgan was back — at least he put news into the show. This new version gives us the same, bland delivery Elgan was infamous for, but now with less content.

I really did not think two people could be more boring than Elgan, but Megan and Jason proved me wrong. Neither has an exciting personality to begin with, and neither draws the viewer in. Megan even looks like she is in pain when she talks. Combined with the total lack of any interesting content, we have an hour-long snooze fest.

This show is a prime example of what happens when you think you can just pop anyone into a job and expect them to perform. There is a reason we have colleges and job training: to make professionals who are skilled in their field. Journalism is a skilled field for a reason — because it does take training. Megan and Jason’s performance is a great example of what happens when you throw someone inexperienced in to do the job of a professional. I am sure neither Lisa nor Leo makes it a practice to go to a dentist who just says, “Hi, I am a dentist…” and yet they foist these untrained people at us and tell us they are journalists and professionals? No! (Tangentially, it is sort of scary that Jeff Jarvis is training a new generation of journalists, but that is another post.)

So, did the show deliver on the promises and expectations? They promised news… and gave us feel-good commentary. They promised tech, and while they did touch on CES and a couple of tech subjects, it was not the focus of the content. The show seems very weak in the content department, spreading it to fill their hour rather than a show length dependent on the existing content. It’s just another way to make the viewers snooze.

As for expectations, I expected it to be a carbon copy of the Elgan show. No surprises here… there is nothing new (other than a second host). I expected this to be thrown together on a shoe-string, with no real advance planning or dedication to the show or the craft of journalism. I was not disappointed in that regard.

The Curious Case of Megan Morrone’s Thinning Eyebrows

Megan Morrone, News Department of TWiT
Megan Morrone, News Department of TWiT
Megan Morrone, definitely-not-racist co-host of Tech News Today, was hosting one of the last of her now-cancelled Tech News 2Night shows when she encountered a mean chat room member commenting on her eyebrows.

Co-host Iain Thompson noticed this insulting comment and asked her publicly about it, which we find rude as well. When told by Iain “I trust you tell them where they can stick that,” Megan sharply replied to the effect that one must simply ignore those who comment on your appearance.

However, it seems to us that Megan has indeed altered her face to please the multiple people who have commented on her caterpillar eyebrows.

After digging deep into the TN2 archives and finding evidence of bushier brows in the video above, we will leave it to the reader to decide.

Did Megan “Shake it off” in the immortal words of Taylor Swift? Or, did Megan alter her face to please her viewing public?

TWiT’s “Review” of the Microsoft Surface Book is the worst Tech “Coverage” we have ever seen in the industry.

In a segment I like to call “In Depth with Deez_Nutz,” I went undercover to find out exactly what kind of coverage TWiT is providing with all of these expensive products Leo “has to buy” because “it’s his job.” Remember, he’s buying them to protect us. Thank you Leo for such compassion for us, and for doing your job, because without you and your wonderful in-depth reviews, we just wouldn’t know what to buy.

I looked at TWiT’s Microsoft Surface Book coverage — a random choice.  I had no idea ahead of time how good or bad this would turn out. I will provide comparison coverage so we can see how TWiT’s content compares to, for instance, some random guy on YouTube probably operating out of their basement — not a million dollar studio — and likely also doing their own editing, production and all that, you know, “work”.

Besides the usual: Leo carrying around his new toy, petting it and interrupting every show bantering on about it, TWiT provided three official segments on the Microsoft Surface Book.

  1. The Unboxing
  2. The Review
  3. The Hands-On

The “Unboxing”

You can tell that Leo didn’t even spend 10 minutes planning his unboxing. It’s poorly lit and totally off-the-cuff, but overall I am positive on the unboxing. I like this because it makes you feel like you are actually there experiencing the product for the first time. I like how Leo randomly fumbles around with the product too.

I would’ve liked this to be edited to be tighter, with better preparation and more professional production value. I would assume most consumers do not have the time to watch a 20 minute unboxing, so they would appreciate a shorter video.

Comparison Unboxing:

Note: to find a comparison unboxing, I just did a search on YouTube for “Surface Book Unboxing” and selected the first video that came up. Low and behold, it’s amazing! It’s professional and well lit. Nice job, random guy on YouTube in your basement doing all the work yourself.

The Results: If I was a consumer, I would prefer Leo’s unboxing. I think it is more interesting and a better experience. Good job, TWiT.

The “Review”

This is where TWiT totally goes off the rails. This so called review is just Paul and Mary Jo talking about the product on Windows Weekly. No offense to them, and I respect their opinion, but hello! This is not a review, people!! No shots of the product, specs, or benchmarks? Anyone? Bueller?

Comparison Review

To find this comparison review, I picked the first suggested video YouTube offered and low and behold it was amazing! It’s a very detailed review with good production value and preparation. Nice job random guy on YouTube. Your review is better than TWiT’s!

The Results: Okay; I don’t know what the fuck is going on here. Clearly TWiT did not do a review. The YouTube guy clearly wins.

The “Hands-On”

The so called “hands-on” with the Surface Book aired on TWiT’s now-cancelled “Tech News 2Night” news show. It is Megan Morrone interviewing Natt Guran from The Next Web, a journalist who actually did a real review of the product. But there is never any “hands-on.” I don’t even think there are any hands in this hands-on.

So let me get this straight. Instead of doing an actual hands-on, TWiT’s “News Department” is interviewing a journalist who did an actual hands-on, and TWiT is calling that their hands-on?  I am speechless. That is not a hands-on!!

Furthermore, why is the news department interviewing other news departments? Isn’t it the news department’s job to cover the news just like the other news departments do? If every news department interviewed other news departments, what would be the actual source of the news? This is like Wolf Blitzer interviewing Sean Hannity from FOX news to report on the news. This is lazy and another example of TWiT  doing things on the cheap and not doing any of their own work. It seems the more I investigate TWiT, the more I am realizing that this whole company is meticulously designed to re-purpose content and use people.

Comparison Hands-On:

To find a comparison hands-on, I did a search for “Surface Book Hands-On,” and picked the first video that came up and low and behold, it’s amazing! It has actual hands in it with good lighting and good production value. It’s almost as if it was planned out! Nice job random guy on YouTube doing all the work yourself. You did a better job than the multi-million dollar fully staffed TWiT!

The Results: Releasing a video called Hands on with Microsoft Surface Book does not make it a hands-on. If I was a consumer looking for a hands-on, I would be totally confused watching TWiT’s content. They simply did not do a hands-on. Clearly the YouTube guy is the winner here by far.


Well, there you have it. It looks like the only reason Leo “had to buy” the Surface Book after all was — well — to open it!

To cover the Microsoft Surface Book, TWiT filmed a random segment of Leo opening up his new toy. There is no actual review, no benchmarks, nor anything else of value. Instead they had Paul and Mary Jo talk about the product on Windows Weekly, and they called that their review.

For the hands-on, the “News Department” interviewed a journalist from another news department, and TWiT called this their hands-on. But there was never actually any hands-on.

TWiT is a lazy organization that seems to put no energy or creativity into anything they do. They just point a camera at themselves sitting on their asses while using other people’s hard work.

For a million dollar company with a million-dollar studio and a full staff of producers, editors, and a news department, I expect more than this.

This is the worst tech coverage of a product we have ever seen in the industry.  This is not serving TWiT’s audience or their advertisers.

TWiT, you should be ashamed!

Leo Laporte: Too Fat to Fly

Leo Laporte, Diabetic
Leo Laporte, Diabetic
Leo Laporte — obese former host of Call For Help — had to put out his own call for help in the airport.

He was removed from his flight home from his $20,000+ cruise for being too fat to fly.

When relaying this to his sycophants, he took the opportunity to insult the state of New Jersey multiple times, presumably because none of his fans are of any value.

#twitlive log

<~ChiefTWiT> Im here in spirit
<@Mick> welcome ChiefTWiT !!!
<~ChiefTWiT> Stuck in Newark
<@Mick> Ahhh, does it look just like the armpit of the nation ChiefTWiT ?
<@Keith512> was there snow or something
<~ChiefTWiT> Sorta Mick
<Error> Newark! I sooo sorry for you....
<~ChiefTWiT> There are pretty parts of New Jersey
<WIguy> ChiefTWiT, uh oh thats not good, for how long
<~ChiefTWiT> Just haven't seen them
<~ChiefTWiT> Did you see my tweet?
<Error> Jersey is mostly SWAMP
<~ChiefTWiT> We are on a 530 flight
<@Mick> yeah haha
<~ChiefTWiT> We got on earlier flight, but they kicked us off for being overweight

Leo Laporte Facebook: Too Fat to Fly

Lisa Laporte is a Failed CEO: Exhibit A

Editor’s Note: Happy New Year from the Total Drama Editorial Board

Lisa's failed TWiT: a retrospective
Lisa’s failed TWiT: a retrospective
Diving deeper into the concepts laid out in my State of the Drama Address, let’s now take a look at some of the older shows which were canceled since Lisa became CEO of TWiT and compare them to the failed shows developed under Lisa’s leadership.

When viewing the infographic above, it’s clear all of the new shows were developed specifically for the advertisers — or were just plainly bad ideas — whereas the old shows were centered around people and the TWiT audience. At one time, Leo was genuinely trying to build a tech network of diverse and interesting content, but we are well past that point now.

Hey Lisa and Leo, just admit it; you’re committing the ultimate sin: letting the ad sales department drive content! In some cases, advertising is the content.

Shame on you both.