The red-lipped Don Reisinger, aka “Edie Reingold,” is not on TNT today. He is feared missing. Please pray for #reingold and his fast re-emergence. We need his input insane banter on the show.
Please tweet him at @donreisinger to let him know you care.
Here’s a hot tip for all you aspiring young broadcasters out there: It’s more important to learn how to drum your fingers on a table and scrunch up a piece of paper and throw it at an expensive video camera lens than it is to hone your craft. Forget well-researched stories. Begone pesky “work” getting great guests. All you need is those two tricks and you’re ratings gold.
Remember, modern viewers don’t want news, they don’t want insightful commentary—they want people who can turn a wooden desktop into a percussion instrument. It’s what Walter Cronkite would have done if he had been able to afford a lobotomy.
So for now, I’m not naming names. I’m just going to leave this as a little reader quiz. Who do you thinks this post is about? Leave a comment if you would with your best guess. Thanks!
As usual, @leolaportesucks is providing an eye-opening service about the status of Twit from Leo the Lard King:
The FAQ page of #totaldrama has been updated with a new section: Heroes of The Effort. Our first honoree is Captain Juno. You can always click on the FAQ at the top right of the homepage, but Captain Juno looms so large for us here, that we thought an extra-special shoutout was in order:
CAPTAIN JUNO
Captain Juno is an unidentified freedom fighter in The Effort against the lies of Twit. He is known to spare nothing in exposing what needs to be exposed; unmasking what needs to be unmasked; and video-ing what needs to be videoed. Bless you Cap Juno, for all that you do—and all that you will do. Here’s the link to his YouTube, a must-see for all fans of #totaldrama and #truth.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zp0RYDXsum0
I see the feature documentary came out early.
2 Thumbs Way Up
If you think we’ve forgotten about the trailblazing hostess of “Marketing Mavericks,” then you don’t know #TotalDrama. There’s plenty of time to dive deep into the bottomless pit that is Tonya Hall. So grab a bottle of hairspray, because girlfriend, we are gonna be here a while.
If you like a lively pre-show filled with girly giggles and a heavy dose of scarves and sweaters plus the largest laptop this size of Texas (more on these two tricks for the eye later) followed by a snoozefest of a show dealing with the intersection of the triangle connecting the parallelogram of marketing and the intergoogles, then “Marketing Mavericks” might just be the show for you. If you’ve ever wondered what the CEO of a suspect online retailer ate for breakfast or what the third-rate PR flack from a nearly bankrupt Web 2.0 company is twooterin’ and tweeterin’ about this month, then “Marketing Mavericks” is definitely the show for you.
But before we can get to all of that public-relationy amazingness, we have to address the elephant in the room: Tonya honey. Hey! Tonya. We’re talking to you. Listen girl. We are on to you. Update your decades-old Twitter profile pic. Lose the voluminous scarves that you’re hiding behind and for Chrissake step out from behind that gigantic laptop and embrace your inner NatureBox. Leo has; Padre has. Now it’s your turn. Say it loud, say it proud, “I am a big personality. And I will have a black person on my show before the end of the year.” Aw, who are we kidding? Twit doesn’t have black people on the air.
But seriously, who gives a flying fudge about marketing? “Marketing,” after all, is just a polite word for “fibbing.”
i hope taylor likes it. dogs fluff untitled
Any regular watcher of the TWiT livestream has heard Leo Laporte and his dubious claims that he has celebrity pals. Although it’s unclear how many of these “best buddies” even know that Leo exists—let alone are aware that he boasts of their friendship.
Please leave a comment if you have any evidence of Leo being friends with:
New information has come to light from a trusted source, here are the latest additions to Leo’s FriendZone®:
Update! Update! Update!
The sooner this is sorted out, the sooner we can get back to more important topics. Thanks!
What follows is a brief list of Leo’s favorite edible tidbits:
* Not really
It has come to our attention here at #TotalDrama, that PadreSJ’s show “Coding 101” is up for a possible name change.
Leo Laporte, in consultation with his girlfriend CEO, are set to change the name to “Coating 101” to bring the show more in line with Padre’s love of fried chicken.
Padre will reportedly discuss all manner of chicken coatings from KFC’s “Original Recipe” to the Popeye’s chicken franchise’s legendary “Louisiana Spicy” coating.
Best of luck with the name change, Padre! And don’t forget to wipe your mouth.
