Many people know that #TotalDrama has long been champions of women’s rights and equality for all. So charges that we are unbalanced in our criticism of the females at TWiT just doesn’t hold water with us. Nice try.
We will never shy away from our responsibility to our readers—we will uphold our mission of spreading #truth. So in that spirit, we present TNT co-host Lindsey Turrentine’s horrendous makeup. Tarting yourself up for the cameras—until now—was the exclusive domain of TWiT CEHo Lisa Kentzell. But Kentzell’s supremacy in this regard has now been challenged by Turrentine’s offensively whorish lipstick. Let us know in the comments section why you think she’s been driven to changing her look so drastically.
Apparently, whore-colored lipstick was on sale at Walmart this weekend.
But for those in a hurry, here’s a choice passage:
This man is a lying, cold hearted sonofabitch who only cares about himself. Unless he can get something out of you, then he’ll pretend to love you, until he’s done with you, then he’ll pretend you never existed. Who is this? Leo Laporte. He’s married, but it doesn’t much stop him from hitting on women. Watch out. He’ll send you naked pictures, tell you he wants to sleep with you, and then discard you like yesterdays news. All the while claiming he’s not to blame because he has no control over his actions because of Adult ADD. Bullshit, people. Bunches of bullshit. He lies to his family, his wife, and his fans.
It’s good to keep in mind that we’re not the only ones here at #TotalDrama interested in exposing the #truth.
Today, Leo Laporte saw an opportunity to cash in on a ratings windfall. After initially deriding the popular ALS “Ice Bucket Challenge” as silly, the Corpulent Campbell’s Soup Crooner turned the challenge into a last-ditch effort to save the struggling TWiT Network. But what happened directly after Laporte’s desperate action is what caught our attention here at #TotalDrama.
The Hefty Hypocrite’s stunt left puddles all over the multi-million dollar studio and expensive equipment. (Equipment, it should be noted, that was paid for in part by TWiT fans.) See the video above as the panicked and brainwashed TWiT slaves spring into action as Laporte is seen at first laughing, then averting his uncaring gaze from the embarrassing scene. Watch as Laporte’s staff labors on their hands and knees, their over-worked fingers scraping the studio floor—groveling before their Lord and Master. The minions try desperately to clean up his mess with nothing but dirty rags. Turns out, that this shameful exhibition could have been avoided had the Obese Orator only bothered to lay down a waterproof tarp or simply go outside like every other sane participant of the challenge did. “Let the minions do their duty,” one might well imagine Laporte muttering as he left the set.
*Update* A viewer claims that Laporte’s pampered pooch, Ozzie, was seen to have followed the glutton off set as Laporte continued to cackle at his dejected indentured servants.
Leo wishes he could clean up his financial problems as easily as changing a shirt.
Why did Leo Laporte resist the ALS “Ice Bucket Challenge” for so long? It’s only $100 for cryin’ out loud. For a week, the portly Laporte publicly and childishly resisted the calls to participate in the fundraising effort that was quickly sweeping the country.
Could it be because he’s drowning in debt? After all, Leo is all wet when it comes to telling the truth about his sinking network. So why wouldn’t we believe that the money troubles aren’t worse than he’s let on?
So we here at #TotalDrama hear from time to time from dissatisfied donors to the TWiT Brickhouse “Buy a Brick” campaign, that Leo kicked off years ago, to raise funds for the network.
Where did the money from the sale of all these bricks go?
Just to let you know, here’s where your money went. It’s all on Lisa Kentzell’s finger. It didn’t go to employee raises, or healthcare or a better lights so Elgum wouldn’t be such an orange monkey-freak.
All the money that brick-buyers bought is on Lisa’s finger now.
OK. So to be fair, not ALL the money went to Lisa’s new ring. It went to a fancy toilet, and a MacPro that Leo uses as a media server in his living room. The image below is of Lisa with one of the TWiT bricks. It’s hard to read, but it says, “I’m with stupid.” Couldn’t have said it any better ourselves.
Do these modern-day robber barons think they’re funny?
It’s been a long time since the TWiT network actually advertised something that their viewers cared about. It’s been one long stream of ridiculous products after irrelevant services after the other.
Ad to the roll call of useless ads Casper Sleep. Yes, folks. It’s a mattress company.
How appropriate for the King of Sleaze. Go pork your bitch bride on that Casper mattress Leo. Just don’t expect us to buy into the idea that this new advertiser is anything but pure garbage.
Leo Laporte, host of “Windows Weekly” was heard during Sunday’s edition of “The Tech Guy,” publicly slamming the Windows operating system. “It’s a horrible operating system,” said Laporte.
What struck many TWiT watchers as odd, is that Leo claimed that “Windows Weekly” co-hosts Paul Thurrott and Mary Jo Foley would both “hate Windows too.” The two are longtime contributors to pro-Microsoft publications and blogs. This puts Laporte directly at odds with one of his marquee shows. We’ll stay tuned here at #TotalDrama to see what happens when “Windows Weekly” is recorded live next week.
Laporte dug himself in even deeper when he went on to say that if TWiT fans were disappointed in his cavalier attitude toward the most popular operating system in the world, that they should tune into a rival network because the host there is a “Windows fanboy.”
Laporte was referencing Andrew Zarian, host of the wildly popular GFQNetwork. Zarian laughed off Laporte’s criticism of GFQ. “I’m a Windows fanboy LOL,” Zarian said sarcastically. “I haven’t used a Windows laptop in five years.”
An anonymous tipster sent in this photo that he believes is Father Robert Ballecer, traveling in a Mufti (or a caftan) to Rome; perhaps to accept his new role as digital advisor to His Holiness, Pope Francis.
Possible clues that this is indeed Father Robert were: 1. He was traveling in business class and 2. He had difficulty fitting into his seat. Reports indicate that both butter and two flight attendants were needed to get him wedged in before the plane could take off.
Later in the flight, our tipster observed that he consumed four chocolate bars simultaneously. The lavatory was also barricaded for what flight attendants said was around six hours.
Father Robert Ballecer might be traveling to Rome in this spy pic sent in to #TotalDrama recently.
Lisa Kentzell, mistress of Leo Laporte, was overheard recently at the Petaluma Market chatting with a girlfriend about the only reason she wears a skirt.
“I don’t wear underwear,” said the stringy-haired skank. “And I need to be able to cover up my gaping lady bits. It’s as simple as that.” Kentzell’s friend was later seen in the parking lot vomiting into an open trash can.
Update: It was also discovered recently that the only reason why Lisa wears a top is to keep her saggy boobs from getting sunburned.
Without this top, Lisa’s breasts would be a crispy red due to the California sun.
Exposing The Dark Underbelly of TWiT, Leo Laporte, and Failed CEO Lisa Laporte
