24 Hours of White Men

I see white people.
I see white people.

TWiT is in the midst of its much-touted “24 Hours of 2015.” The editorial board at #TotalDrama is standing by with a cadre of scientists and statisticians as we suspect that no people of color will appear live in the studio; but this has to be verified by an independent team. Please stay tuned.

Update: A gospel choir just broke the record for people of color inside the Brick Shithouse. The Pearly Gates Singers just made Leo’s head explode. But in typical TWiT fashion, the audio “sucked ass” according to a #drama chatroom member. So it appears that at least audio-based racism is alive and well in Petaluma.

Take a good look—this will never happen again.
Take a good look—this will never happen again.

Leo and his fake tux

Fake tux, for a fake laugh
Fake tux, for a fake laugh

The expanding human gas blob known as Leo Laporte is currently streaming his “24 Hours of 2015.” Watch now as he fake-laughs his way through the marathon broadcast of bad production values. But what is this? He couldn’t find a tux shirt big enough? Never fear. Leo has the solution—he just wears a normal black dress shirt, pops the collar and straps on a cheesy striped bowtie. Classy.

A fake tux shirt is pretty much indicative of everything TWiT has become in 2014: Stuffed shirts presenting lies on a shoestring budget held together on the fumes of past success.

Leo's odd, flat hair
Leo’s odd, flat hair

Update: Leo did indeed change into a more respectable shirt. But his hair looked shitty and flat.

Leo Laporte calls Sarah Lane a Liar

On a recent episode of “iPad Today” one-time relevant and previously non-morbidly obese glutton Leo Laporte called Sarah Lane a liar. In near-complete shock, Sarah stumbles through the rest of the segment barely able to contain her hatred for her boss. Leo goes on to remark that Sarah will most likely break her promise to tell him the truth “by January 2.”

Thank you to all the commenters

MLK would have been a #TotalDrama fan and commenter.

This site would be nothing without our amazing commenters. Every day these amazing people make their points heard and their feelings known through a thousand mouse clicks, keyboard taps and touchscreen swipes.

So let me just say on behalf of the #TotalDrama editorial board: We hear you, we respect you. And without you, we are nothing.

And as this year draws to a close, let us bow our heads in solemn prayer and proclaim:

Let the #scoups ring from the Stone Mountain of Georgia.
Let our protests ring from Lookout Mountain of Tennessee.

Let an occasional comedy post ring from every hill and molehill of Mississippi.
From every mountainside, let #TotalDrama ring. Let #TotalDrama ring!

Say it ain’t so, Leo

0RbU70M

25% to charity, no way
25% to charity, no way, I refuse to believe this libel.
Well deserved 60K spent on a car
Well deserved 60K spent on a car

I do not believe this image and neither should you. There is no way the #soupguzzler is keeping 75% of the proceeds for recording a greeting. No one would keep money intended for starving children. I just do not believe it.
Food? Maybe. Money? No.
The guy has plenty of money. If you want to donate to UNICEF click here. Send me the receipt and I’ll record you a voice mail. And please whoever photo-shopped this, turn yourself in. There are people working overtime in the factory to make a donation and they deserve to know where the funds go?

Listening to audio books is not fucking reading

This is NOT reading.
This is NOT reading.

Please leave your vote in the comments section…but we here at #TotalDrama do not believe that listening to an audio book is “reading.” Why Leo Laporte insists that he is indeed “reading” when listening to his bogus Audible.com books is beyond us. But, then again, we don’t make a habit of cheating on our wives and buying new cars for slutty cunts that run our companies into the ground.

Google Confirms #TotalDrama findings

It seems the nerds at Google, Inc. know what they’re doing. No wonder @profjeffparvis is such a fan. It appears the waning interest in the notorious know-it-all is actually confirmed by science. Based on high-level scripts and [ro]bots combing the entire Internet and meticulously calculating every bit of information, the findings forecast the man will be done by 2015.

Google confirms possible imminent demise of TWiT
Google confirms possible imminent demise of TWiT

#TotalDrama didn’t need to show you this unassailable proof—as we have known this all along—but we felt the few remaining hold-outs in the hellholish #twitlive could use the factoids.

image
Dedicated #TwiTLive fans protest Google findings