TWiT is in the midst of its much-touted “24 Hours of 2015.” The editorial board at #TotalDrama is standing by with a cadre of scientists and statisticians as we suspect that no people of color will appear live in the studio; but this has to be verified by an independent team. Please stay tuned.
Update: A gospel choir just broke the record for people of color inside the Brick Shithouse. The Pearly Gates Singers just made Leo’s head explode. But in typical TWiT fashion, the audio “sucked ass” according to a #drama chatroom member. So it appears that at least audio-based racism is alive and well in Petaluma.
Legendary #twitlive participant and Internet iconoclast Taylor K got to meet one of his heroes during TWiT’s “24 Hours of 2015″—and it only cost him $100. Watch here, as Leo Laporte cautiously pockets Taylor’s donation with a wary eye. Congrats on getting on camera, Taylor!
The expanding human gas blob known as Leo Laporte is currently streaming his “24 Hours of 2015.” Watch now as he fake-laughs his way through the marathon broadcast of bad production values. But what is this? He couldn’t find a tux shirt big enough? Never fear. Leo has the solution—he just wears a normal black dress shirt, pops the collar and straps on a cheesy striped bowtie. Classy.
A fake tux shirt is pretty much indicative of everything TWiT has become in 2014: Stuffed shirts presenting lies on a shoestring budget held together on the fumes of past success.
Update: Leo did indeed change into a more respectable shirt. But his hair looked shitty and flat.
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We take great pride in announcing that we will be winning the award below, from the popular Night Attack podcast. I am not sure if it is a good or bad award, but, it is one more award than Gum will ever win. You can vote by clicking the link below. Feel free to skip the other categories.
On a recent episode of “iPad Today” one-time relevant and previously non-morbidly obese glutton Leo Laporte called Sarah Lane a liar. In near-complete shock, Sarah stumbles through the rest of the segment barely able to contain her hatred for her boss. Leo goes on to remark that Sarah will most likely break her promise to tell him the truth “by January 2.”
People are idiots, and we read what they write every day. I am now convinced that any semblance of sanity or reason in this world is kaput. We poke fun at Jarvis and Laporte for their, what I would not even call inconsistencies, it would be more accurate to call them blatant hypocrisies and contradictions.
(i.e.) These people are outspoken against untrustworthy governments accumulating voluminous amounts of information on individuals but are fully trusting of massive corporations in Cupertino or Mountain View giving themselves permission to look at your emails and private photos in the very same caches of information they are blindly trusted to be guardians of. They are against looking at stolen/hacked photos of Olivia Munn (nice nurse uniform) but OK with releasing stolen/hacked Sony information. And don’t believe their asshole excuses about the “public good.” They were exposing inequality in executive salaries? Bullshit. If one of these reporters actually reported and bothered even once to investigate, they would know that many, many corporations release that information and oftentimes executive salaries are public information. Trust me, the public good of seeing Kate Upton’s tatas far outweighs taking a gander at what Amy Pascal makes at Sony. That is reporting? They have no great cause to get behind and no great wrong to right so they make shit up. And half the time they don’t even understand what they’ve written! These people posture to have something to talk about at dinner. But let us get to the greatest sanctimonious horse hooey; trolling.
So what now? These phonies and freaks are on a campaign against HelloWorld. Why? Because he says vulgar stuff on Twitter. Mind you, he does this with a new account with zero followers. No one sees it besides the dainty and oh-so-delicate @user. The morons who changed their Twitter profile pictures to Anti-Sopa nonsense are full of shit. They want his IP banned. They want identities verified on Twitter. So if you’re struggling with being gay in a country where they will stone you for being yourself and you need to talk—fuck you. If you have a government that throws you in jail for protesting and you want to organize—fuck you. If you have a law practice and love “My Little Pony” in secret—fuck you. Bad words must not be seen by Christina Warren; so any right to privacy should be stricken.
Christina, pull your hat away from over your eyes, move your stupid finger to the corner of your screen and click “block.” If doing that four times a day is too much work, then switch back to the iPhone 5S and its smaller screen. I am sorry you have to see those bad words, but take one for the team. If you really can’t handle it, then perhaps seeking a line of work that is not public is best.
Just to clarify the chain of trolling: There are people like the FCC Chairman, Charlie Rose, elected officials, police, actors and CEOs who are maligned and ridiculed (trolled) by Elgum, Laporte, Snell, @film_girl and countless other reporters. Then, others malign (troll) the maligners on Twitter or blogs. Next up on the chain of trolling are the commenters on Twitter and those blogs who malign tweets and those who write the articles. And so it goes—everyone keeping everyone in check. But the Great Minds take issue with only one of the falling dominoes. Only one breed of criticism is “trolling,” the one centered squarely on their dumb-asses.
The analogy between how governments work and how tech journalism works is just too good to pass up. There is basically one or two shitheads who says things and smaller shitheads eat this shit up and regurgitate the said pooh into smellier bite-sized shit.
The #soupguzzler is so poisonous he (in private where snakes work best) uses this as an opportunity to allegedly blame Merritt. Where else would spineless Snell get this preposterous propaganda?
#Soup, if you are smarter than 99% of the population, your job is not to manipulate them. Remember, there is another 1% out there watching you.
This site would be nothing without our amazing commenters. Every day these amazing people make their points heard and their feelings known through a thousand mouse clicks, keyboard taps and touchscreen swipes.
So let me just say on behalf of the #TotalDrama editorial board: We hear you, we respect you. And without you, we are nothing.
And as this year draws to a close, let us bow our heads in solemn prayer and proclaim:
Let the #scoups ring from the Stone Mountain of Georgia.
Let our protests ring from Lookout Mountain of Tennessee. Let an occasional comedy post ring from every hill and molehill of Mississippi. From every mountainside, let #TotalDrama ring. Let #TotalDrama ring!
I do not believe this image and neither should you. There is no way the #soupguzzler is keeping 75% of the proceeds for recording a greeting. No one would keep money intended for starving children. I just do not believe it.
Food? Maybe. Money? No.
The guy has plenty of money. If you want to donate to UNICEF click here. Send me the receipt and I’ll record you a voice mail. And please whoever photo-shopped this, turn yourself in. There are people working overtime in the factory to make a donation and they deserve to know where the funds go?
Please leave your vote in the comments section…but we here at #TotalDrama do not believe that listening to an audio book is “reading.” Why Leo Laporte insists that he is indeed “reading” when listening to his bogus Audible.com books is beyond us. But, then again, we don’t make a habit of cheating on our wives and buying new cars for slutty cunts that run our companies into the ground.
It seems the nerds at Google, Inc. know what they’re doing. No wonder @profjeffparvis is such a fan. It appears the waning interest in the notorious know-it-all is actually confirmed by science. Based on high-level scripts and [ro]bots combing the entire Internet and meticulously calculating every bit of information, the findings forecast the man will be done by 2015.
#TotalDrama didn’t need to show you this unassailable proof—as we have known this all along—but we felt the few remaining hold-outs in the hellholish #twitlive could use the factoids.
Exposing The Dark Underbelly of TWiT, Leo Laporte, and Failed CEO Lisa Laporte