Just kidding, but let’s hope the lovely ad talented Sarah doesn’t treat the competition as #soup treated Lanigan and Tom. Otherwise, this dancing and prancing princess better watch her behind, because she won’t have dropcams watching her behind 24/7, or will she?
Editors note* Body type suggests a history of dance, probably ballet or soccer/lacrosse
Leo Laporte ends charity broadcast with obscenities
In a complete lapse of professionalism, TWiT founder and host Leo Laporte took leave of his senses and cussed his way through a bedtime story as children were present in his Petaluma studio.
UNICEF was the beneficiary of his “24 Hours of 2015” and it is inconceivable that the broadcast sponsors would be happy with the sad ending of the marathon production.
One commenter in the official #twitlive chatroom said:
Litesmth_London: so after $50,00 of donations the cuss filter comes off the twit brickhouse as well? 🙂
TWiT fails in quest for 24-hour broadcast
In an odd twist to the alleged “24 Hours of 2015” Leo Laporte decided apparently on a whim to end the broadcast just one hour short of their 24-hour goal.
The #TotalDrama editorial board is at a complete loss at why Leo would do this. Whatever.
But it’s not too late if you donated to UNICEF to cancel your donation with your credit card company—because TWiT did not complete their publicly-announced goal of broadcasting for 24 hours, you can change your mind as well.
Leo Laporte falls short of pledge to “shave head”
Update: Leo has cut it much, much shorter
Leo Laporte fell way short of his pledge to his remaining fans to “shave his head” if they donated $50K to UNICEF during his “24 Hours of 2015.” Using a No. 3 guide on a hair trimmer, TWiT CEHo Lisa Kentzell refused to take his hair all the way down to the root as initially promised until Lisa stepped in and put a stop to that. Apparently she’s cool with bobbing on his knob, but doing that AND Leo without his trademark gray mop…why that’s going too far for the sweet and chaste Miss Kentzell.
Judge for yourself from the this screengrab if Leo went far enough—or if he let his vanity stand in the way of a promise.
Here’s a sampling of the irate official #twitlive chatroom comments:
gadget: Leo should have his nose hairs pulled out
Web5140: shave is no hair
Stroszek: Leo sells razors…. and he promised to shave his head…
CK496: Leo, forget Lisa, she ruins all the fun. SHAVE your head! it”s for a good cause and you promised all of us
Pepelluepe: shaving involves a rzor. If he has not used one, he did not shave.
We here at #TotalDrama are nothing if not fair, so here’s a shot of Leo’s ass tattoo. He really did follow through on that promise.
Mike Elgum channels the spirit of a cartoon dog
Mike Elgum (for SEO reasons: Mike Elgan) sank to a new low during the live broadcast of TWiT’s “24 Hours of 2015” when he imitated a famous cartoon dog. Dressed in a completely unbelievable version of a 1980s “cool dude,” the Most Boring Man on the Planet only succeeded in looking like a second-rate rehash of Poochie the dog from “The Simpsons.”
Take a gander at these two images and see if you can tell which is which.
Top Five Predictions for 2015
After a marathon meeting of the #TotalDrama editorial board, we were finally able to narrow down our Top Five Predictions for 2015:
- Leo will be found face-down in the Japanese soaking tub by a stone-faced Lisa.*
- Sarah Lane will finally quit and start her own Patreon.
- Chad will continue to appear at the Twit Shithouse—even though he got fired.
- Padre will be discovered in a locked van down by the Petaluma Harbor with powdered sugar on his fingers and male porn mags inside of a dirty backpack.
- The #twitlive chat mods will continue being incredible dicks.
*It’s always the “wife.”
Gold-digging whore keeps reaching for the stars
Lisa Kentzell, never one to disappoint the members of her Gold-diggers of the World Association, was spotted recently literally reaching for the cash. It’s like a spy camera was installed at the bottom of the cookie jar and she was caught red-handed. Congratulations, Lisa! You make money-grubbing whores all over the globe proud.
Chat Mods Lose Control
All the excitement, from seeing Leo straight for 24 hours, has caused the #TWITLIVE chat mods to once again display abhorrent behavior. Perhaps it was a result of all the blood rushing to their lower (male organ)extremities which caused a lack of oxygen to the brain. The practice of doxxing [that gets people banned from most chat rooms and shunned from internet communities] is exercised with impunity by the twit head chat freak on the innocent patrons of chat.
Your jaw will drop as you see the freaky Dan give out personal details of another innocent former twit fan. Take note how the fellow mods and neutered members of chat sit idly by as he gives out a users FULL NAME and breaks every social norm that governs the internet we love. We thank the freak for sending more people to our IRC but the strain on the server is costing us a fortune.
Splitscreens need not apply
The Pickle Corpse knows nothing of television production obviously when they showed “Game of Drones” on TWiT’s “24 Hours of 2015.” We could hardly see the action. Hey, how about this idea Pickle Peeps: Why not show the action…and not your dumb graphics. We don’t care about what “fancy” shit you can throw on the screen. It’s form over content and that just doesn’t fly.
Now Hiring!
Hey Fans!
You too can quit your job and join TWiT—where dreams really do come true. Ignore what title you get; all employees are treated equally.
Welcome to Petaluma Effendunn!
Who needed that phat city pension anyway.
