Megan Morrone, a terrible replacement for the departing lovely and talented Sarah Lane on TWiT’s evening newscast, TN2, was stiff and unnatural on her debut performance.
After multiple rehearsals, Morrone was still unable to read the TelePrompTer with any amount of ease and appeared terribly uncomfortable and wooden—all negative traits that she must have picked up from her untalented mentor Mike Elgan.
There remains a sliver of hope that she could break out of her straitjacket and attain a tiny personality. But we’re not too hopeful.
There is no higher honor to be attained (at least in the realm in which TotalDrama operates) than to have one of our favorite subjects play one of our videos on his own network. And the bright red Maraschino cherry on the top of our “Sunday” was that the TotalDrama website link also was shown to his live audience when Leo played NYCritic’s short YouTube video parody “Leo Laporte narrowly avoids being ‘taken.’”
Leo seemed oddly delighted after playing the video. He laughed and said, “That was sneaky but nicely done. I have to give you five points on that one—that was very clever. I shouldn’t laugh and support that, but that was well done.”
So thank you, Leo, for doing our work for us. You have redeemed yourself by .0023 percent for your ability to laugh at yourself. Although the TotalDrama editorial board is not yet sure what to do with the five points you awarded us…we’ll figure something out soon enough. Perhaps they can be redeemed for a Japanese soaking tub for our all commenters and fans?
Leo Laporte, known by a dwindling few as “The Tech Guy,” narrowly avoids being “taken.” Thank God he’s OK. Otherwise we’d have to send out a team of highly-trained individuals with a very particular set of skills.
Nothing says, “Fuck you, Leo Laporte!” more than two former co-workers refusing to bow down and grovel before the Ogre of Petaluma. It’s a beautiful thing watching the ever-vivacious Shannon “Snubs” Morse and the also-there Patrick Norton strike out on their own—taking their tech roadshow directly to their fans.
The editorial board here at #TotalDrama has decided to throw our support behind these two and their Patreon page for “TekThing,” even though they’re using a ridiculous typeface for their logo. But so help us if Patrick so much as thinks of wearing a kilt; we’ll pull our support immediately if we see so much as one hairy leg.
Won’t you give $1?
Best of luck, you two crazy kids! Stick it to the man, and don’t ever forget where you came from.
It’s time to check the Bullshit Meter here at #TotalDrama; as ours just broke after watching Andrew Keen’s appearance on the usually deathly-boring “This Week in Law” hosted by the coma-inducing Denise Howell. Keen was a live wire from the get-go as he expected the host to be in the studio; he expected Leo Laporte to be there and he practically demanded that his tea be served in just the right size cup with plenty of room for milk.
The certified douche was silenced at one point by the technical director after getting way too specific for TWiT’s taste when asking about details of the network’s advertising model. That video will appear in a future post; so please stay tuned. Keen, asshole nonpareil that he is, is fast becoming a hero here at #TotalDrama for his outspoken (if haltingly delivered) style. He might even give “Treadmill Guy” and Edie Reingold a run for their money with his breathtakingly aggressive dumb-guy troll moves, which you’ll see in a follow-up video.
One of the main themes with the editorial board here at #TotalDrama is hypocrisy. And our Bullshit Meter’s little needle nearly flew off today jiggling and squiggling with excitement after Keen mentioned the working title of his book over and over again. Denise (bless her poor little scared heart) just didn’t have the guts to tell him that TWiT is a “family-friendly” network.
And yes, if you’re thinking this blog post is a tad bit unfocused…you are correct. Andrew Keen is an enigma and we are still trying to figure out just what happened in the video linked above. Hero? Villain? Master Troll? Please help us decide in the comments section.
It looks like Leo Laporte, America’s most over-inflated tech balloon, is on the wrong path to retirement freedom—if he ever gets to retire at all.
According to a screengrab from a recent Personal Capital live ad read, Laporte has less than $1 Million in his accounts. That’s according to the service that he allegedly uses to keep track of all his financial data. Falling $10,000 below the million mark means that Laporte will need to keep working well past his golden years if he expects to maintain his current outsized lifestyle for himself and the black-banged moneyhog Lisa.
If these numbers turn out to not include all of his holdings, then Leo is not quite as forthcoming with his audience about how amaaaaaaaazing Personal Capital is as a wealth management tool.
Let’s just hope (for Ozzie’s sake at the very least) that Leo can keep his creaky ship afloat long enough to explain to his audience why they should trust him and his money-tracking tools. Because for us here at #TotalDrama, it just doesn’t add up.
I’m quite sure Jesus would have not wanted these $250 headphones.
Father Robert Ballecer has turned his back on Jesus.
Padre walks in the footsteps of Jesus, but seems to have lost his way.
With each successive broadcast “LIVE from the show floor”at CES, the plump priest morphs more and more into the Gollum that we’ve long suspected him to be. He’s reporting on drones, optical VR, smart phones, OLED televisions…everything Jesus would have smashed. It’s all just so incongruous with Padre’s life at the church. His quest for the new, the cool, the next makes no sense as a man of God. Take for example the $250 Audio-Technica headphones, sure they sound good. But instead of coveting them, Padre should just refuse the goodie bags, the swag, the free parties and go feed the poor.
From the Wikipedia entry about the Society of Jesus:
In 1534, Ignatius and six other young men, including Francis Xavier and Peter Faber, gathered and professed vows of poverty, chastity, and later obedience, including a special vow of obedience to the Pope.
God’s little miracles will all be dearly missed at TWiT in the coming year; as their contributions have been legendary. Some of them will appear on “Before You Buy,” but most will find places as outside producers. Here they are: the Roll Call of TWiT’s finest. They have all gone on to a better place:
Brian Brushwood
Lamarr Wilson
Justin Robert Young
Amber MacArthur
Iyaz Akhtar
Tom Merritt
Sarah Lane
Shannon “Snubs” Morse
Chad Johnson “OMGChad”
Gina Trapani
Not included in the “In Memorium” video due to space reasons:
Don Reisinger (Edie Reingold)
Treadmill Guy
Jeff Stewart
Thanks for all the laughs, the tears, the joy, the pain, the sorrow, the late nights, the early mornings, the hair in a bun, the hair over your shoulder, pretending you liked Leo, faking a smile when he harassed you…for everything you’ve ever done and everything you’ll ever be, do, think, taste, smell, eat and drink. Our hats are off to you, the TWiT Departed. You are the gems in the crown of the tech world. The shining beacons of truth and creativity. Oh. Wait. They already hired your replacements? Well that was fast.
Editor’s note: richardya contributed to this post—without his support and encouragement, this endeavor might not have been possible.
Google Wave fan and bumbling genius Gina Trapani is going to be alone with her thoughts soon—and that’s a good thing. Perhaps she can take some time to organize her brain. Gina recently announced that she’s shuffling off “This Week in Google” to focus on running her useless Twitter business. Jeff Jarvis of course groaned like a jilted grandmother and Leo said that Gina is going to be missed because he loooooooooves her so much.
In honor of Gina’s tenure on TWiG, here’s one last look ’n’ listen at her groundbreaking Google insights. She’s quite a keeper—too bad Leo didn’t pay her enough to have her stick around.
I think in 10-15 years we really could have maybe learned a thing or two from her. Or not…I can’t decide. Uh…Well, I guess. Maybe not. Or…
Exposing The Dark Underbelly of TWiT, Leo Laporte, and Failed CEO Lisa Laporte
