In a pre-cursor to next week’s posting of one of the most important blog posts in the history of this blog, the editorial board of #TotalDrama would like to humbly present to you an early edit of Leo Laporte’s potty mouth from his recent New Year’s Eve broadcast (in 20 seconds or less.)
And please, if you have children, please shield their eyes and ears before you click “play.”
Looks like #TotalDrama is where you go for reliable facts! Below is an obvious troll who is clearly a fan of #drama messing with the big guy. The sycophants telling #soup how great he is, may be more entertaining though.
Gratz Carly, we are big fans. Let us hope Leo doesn’t go back on his word [again,] just to spite #Drama.
In order to chart a course into the future, it is oftentimes necessary to look into the past. How else will we know where we’re going, if we don’t know where we’ve been? So now that it’s 2015, the editorial board at #TotalDrama has decided to clean out our video closet and share a few final gems from 2014.
Watch now as TNT host and TWiT embarrassment Mike Elgan reveals himself to possibly be racist. What else could explain his tone-deaf joke about “Hollywood” (but said with an Asian accent? It’s just not funny, Mike. Grow up and join the rest of us in the 21st century.
A great con was pulled off before our eyes this past New Years Eve. Perhaps greater than the scheme invented by Charles Ponzi himself in 1922. What made this hoax so amazing was that there was no sleight of hand, distraction, hypnosis, distortion or decoy. Leo Laporte needed only to rely on the fact that his audience is a brainless bunch of bafoons. His cohort in this caper was none other than the The Part Time Professor. @ProfJeffJarvis
Calm yourself, I am not saying he tricked people into donating. I could not care less if he did. UNICEF makes 3.5 billion a year, no one cares about twit there.
The con was simple. Get the donation total to reach some milestone amount and Jeff Jarvis’ beard would be shaved. The amazing thing, that no one seemed to notice was………. Jeff Jarvis had no beard. Leo’s audience is now officially pronounced brain dead. I say again people, the emperor has no clothes. Myself and a few others were watching this hoopla as if we were living in a world of drones. They went on and on about shaving his beard of 42 years and no one thought it relevant that he had no beard? Has the world gone mad? Was it a joke I was not in on? Leo is way too detached from the truth, there is no line between fact and fiction in his subconscious anymore.
Oh I almost forgot to mention, on a sad note, Leo may have passed away. Our staff will be looking into it as soon as we finish lunch. Allegedly his last words were “a wedding soup please.”
Just kidding, but let’s hope the lovely ad talented Sarah doesn’t treat the competition as #soup treated Lanigan and Tom. Otherwise, this dancing and prancing princess better watch her behind, because she won’t have dropcams watching her behind 24/7, or will she?
Editors note* Body type suggests a history of dance, probably ballet or soccer/lacrosse
In a complete lapse of professionalism, TWiT founder and host Leo Laporte took leave of his senses and cussed his way through a bedtime story as children were present in his Petaluma studio.
UNICEF was the beneficiary of his “24 Hours of 2015” and it is inconceivable that the broadcast sponsors would be happy with the sad ending of the marathon production.
One commenter in the official #twitlive chatroom said:
Litesmth_London: so after $50,00 of donations the cuss filter comes off the twit brickhouse as well? 🙂
In an odd twist to the alleged “24 Hours of 2015” Leo Laporte decided apparently on a whim to end the broadcast just one hour short of their 24-hour goal.
The #TotalDrama editorial board is at a complete loss at why Leo would do this. Whatever.
But it’s not too late if you donated to UNICEF to cancel your donation with your credit card company—because TWiT did not complete their publicly-announced goal of broadcasting for 24 hours, you can change your mind as well.
Update: Leo has cut it much, much shorter
Leo Laporte fell way short of his pledge to his remaining fans to “shave his head” if they donated $50K to UNICEF during his “24 Hours of 2015.” Using a No. 3 guide on a hair trimmer, TWiT CEHo Lisa Kentzell refused to take his hair all the way down to the root as initially promised until Lisa stepped in and put a stop to that. Apparently she’s cool with bobbing on his knob, but doing that AND Leo without his trademark gray mop…why that’s going too far for the sweet and chaste Miss Kentzell.
Judge for yourself from the this screengrab if Leo went far enough—or if he let his vanity stand in the way of a promise.
Here’s a sampling of the irate official #twitlive chatroom comments:
gadget: Leo should have his nose hairs pulled out
Web5140: shave is no hair
Stroszek: Leo sells razors…. and he promised to shave his head…
CK496: Leo, forget Lisa, she ruins all the fun. SHAVE your head! it”s for a good cause and you promised all of us
Pepelluepe: shaving involves a rzor. If he has not used one, he did not shave.
We here at #TotalDrama are nothing if not fair, so here’s a shot of Leo’s ass tattoo. He really did follow through on that promise.
Mike Elgum (for SEO reasons: Mike Elgan) sank to a new low during the live broadcast of TWiT’s “24 Hours of 2015” when he imitated a famous cartoon dog. Dressed in a completely unbelievable version of a 1980s “cool dude,” the Most Boring Man on the Planet only succeeded in looking like a second-rate rehash of Poochie the dog from “The Simpsons.”
Take a gander at these two images and see if you can tell which is which.
After a marathon meeting of the #TotalDrama editorial board, we were finally able to narrow down our Top Five Predictions for 2015:
*It’s always the “wife.”
