Tag Archives: caught you

Say aaaahhhhhhh

A healthy salad? Maybe not!
A healthy salad? Maybe not!

Thanks to modern technology and friends of #TotalDrama within the highest levels of U.S. intelligence agencies, a new revelation has been exposed. Two facts that lived in conflict, until now, have finally been reconciled. How is the rapid weight-gain congruent with the fact that Laporte eats salad?  The weight-gain—estimated at 2.42 pounds per day—is an amount well over the expected level, being that two of the five daily meals are listed as “salad.”

472 Kcal bite [unaltered photo]
472 Kcal bite [unaltered photo]
The first step in solving the riddle was photo-analysis via the latest high level CIA equipment. The process broke down the gargantuan forkfull of food to its essential elements. The results were so outlandish that #TotalDrama was compelled to garner another source to confirm the findings. A reporter was sent to find a former intern whose very job was ordering and fetching the “salad.”  The question was posed, “What was in the salad?” This was done without giving the intern prior knowledge of the CIA findings. The result was a 100-percent match, and the ingredients are meticulously listed below:

  • Fried bacon
  • Ribs (extra sauce)
  • Jiffy peanut butter
  • Hold the lettuce
  • Seven Island dressing
  • Fried wontons
  • 1 Big Mac with extra cheese
  • 1/2 pie of Dominoes pizza
  • Chocolate milkshake
  • Cream gravy
  • Ham coated in goat cheese
  • 2 Slices of cheese cake
  • Green ham (shown in picture)
  • 3 pieces of lasagna
  • Fondue
  • French fries
  • Hold all vegetables

*Update* Details are now emerging that the Petaluma Market keeps  yearling piglets out back to slaughter upon receipt of the Laporte salad order.

More Allegations by Roberto 3X

The father of hate’s original attempt to stir the community did not rile them to his crusade against the free speech advocates of TotalDrama.org

So he made up a story that [name redacted] was ddosed even though [name redacted] was simultaneously in six irc rooms and on twitter. Failed again.

In his latest attempt, he is actually going so far as to accuse total drama of interfering with suicide prevention. Are accusations of murder far behind?

He then did another veiled doxing threat against a charter member of td.o. (It is this websites policy not to post doxings so we will not post it, seems nothing is sacred to Padre, #JarvisLogic)
Whats next, expose that richardya is a Brony? Not gonna happen, that closeted passion of his, is well covered under multiple layers of VPN and TOR.

Finally an answer to why “Security Now” is still on the air

Steve Gibson hosts the indecipherable "Security Now." #TotalDrama suspects that the show is merely an excuse for Leo to squeeze Gibson for info to help hide Leo's sex-related problems.
Steve Gibson hosts the indecipherable “Security Now.” #TotalDrama suspects that the show is merely an excuse for Leo to squeeze Gibson for info to help hide Leo’s sex-related problems.

I just figured out why Leo Laporte continues to air the coma-inducing monologue known as “Security Now,” the seemingly endless one-man diatribe by hosted Tuesdays by Steve Gibson. This show is a near-continuous stream of consciousness; it’s basically just a river of confusing “security-related” news masquerading as valuable tips.

So here’s the rub: Because of Leo’s previous publicly-aired indiscretions, the wife-cheating Laporte is now desperate for any free advice about how to best secure his website, text message programs and other media—anything that has the potential to expose Leo’s legendary philandering.

That has to be the only reason why he lets Gibson blab on ad nauseam until we are all quite literally nauseous.

So let’s just think of “Security Now” as Leo’s personal washing machine for his dirty laundry.