Many of the kids out there are dreaming of one day becoming a Gumbot. But..it’s hard to know where to start. We at #TotalDrama care about the kids so we put this guide together:

• Always speak in one tone and never show any inflection in your voice
• Make jokes nobody gets, are not funny and make no sense to anyone but Joe Panetierri
• Always wear black high crew neck undershirts. If they come in style just switch to white or try a V-neck
• Pre Show interaction with fans should consist of saying “Whaddup chickenhead”
• Post Show interaction with fans should last for no more than 20 seconds after picking a title
• Segue into every ad read with:  ……In a sec …..but first
• Never say ‘a lot’ or ‘many’ you will say bazilion or gazillion
• Never say ‘funny’ you will say ‘hilarious,’
• Start every new thought with; “well”
• Use only the following six adjectives: Astonishing, Awesome, Important, Creepy, Scary and Cool, If you need more you can amend like so:
  1.Really (ie) Awesome
  2.Really really (ie) Awesome
  3.Super (ie) Awesome
• Call people by their first and last name; Good morning Jason Howell. What do you think Don Reisinger?
• Go on for 5 to 10 minutes with any thought and allow guests to do likewise, babel away, do not get to the point
• The proper amount of time to spend on a dumb theory of yours is 20 minutes per half hour
• The show length is irrelevant. Listeners will adjust their commutes, you’re an important news man.
• Any press release from Google Inc. related to G+ or Google Glass, is a lead story
• App updates in IOS are a #scoup
• Ask bloggers how to run major corporations and countries regardless of their education or intelligence
• Disparage Supreme Court Justices, CEOs and heads of state as “not knowing what they are doing”
• Drum dat table